Radel slept in my arms. He woke me early with a kiss, but we were still dozing in our embrace until we heard the children stirring. Radel got up quickly, wiped his teary face and went outside to fetch the horses from the pasture.

I had soiled myself again during the night and the claws were out on my right hind paw too. Sighing, I washed and combed my thin fur until it almost shone white instead of the dull grey.

The house was still quiet, the children probably went to sleep again as today was now school. After the feast, the children and Rap had earned their extra rest. I silently stoked the fire in the kitchen and made a large vegetable and cheese omelette, whose aroma lured the children out and, a little later, poor Rap, still half asleep after the last-minute efforts to organise yesterday's feast. Then, Radel returned, already in full riding gear.

The children were even more excited than yesterday because today they were going to visit their grandparents in Karenburg. Their excitement was contagious and only Radel remained heavy-hearted. I helped pack the carriage and then gave each of them a long, tearful hug.

"Why are you crying?" asked Freya.

"Because I am so happy to have you."

"Then be happy. Look, three to five!" And she swivelled her ears in the complex pattern.

I smiled, still heavy inside. I hugged the twins with similar strength, who were more solemn. They could not know, but they sensed that something was off. But they smiled again when climbing into the coach.

And then I stood with Radel. "Thank you," I whispered, and then, lost for words, I just wept.

"Here is the signet ring." I pressed it into Radel's hand. "Greet your parents," I sighed with Radel. They had never really accepted me and making Litra a republic domain had not helped. So I had been to Karenburg only four times in all these years. And I knew they would hate to have Freya with them, even though Radel claimed that they had softened with age. Still, the end of summer travel to Karenburg without me was a tradition. Only this time the farewell was more tearful.

Eventually, Radel got on the coach's driver's bench. I walked alongside the coach until we reached the road to the Tret Valley, now with the first stone arch bridge in Litra. There I stopped and I watched the departing coach until it was obscured by the bend of the river where the road to Cutra branched off.

One last person to meet. I walked back to the village and changed into the bright shirt from Mage Tarik. My very first shirt, the one in which I had awoken in this world. By tightening the side laces, it still fitted me well. I also packed the red jacket, a blanket and filled the second of the saddle bags with some sweet cakes from the baker and two cabbages. And then I set off for the summit of Thunderhead, but by the easy route along the pastures.

* * *

In the afternoon I was approaching the mountain cabin where Carol, my eldest daughter, had spent her second summer tending the cows, as was the tradition for young unmarried women in Litra. I was sure, however, that this would be her last summer up here, now that Lars had caught her eyes.

I could still sneak up quietly like a cat through the high grass along the sides of the pasture with the sun in my back and against the wind. The cows only noticed me when I was almost at the cabin. Carol jumped up, she had been lying naked in the sun. "Mum!"

"You were hoping for Lars?"

She blushed so hard that the freckles on her face almost disappeared. Apart from the freckles and the number of legs, she had come after me. She was strong and well-endowed. Below her navel started white fur that turned reddish to the sides and was completely red from her thighs down to her paws. She even had the same black, retractable claws on her hands and paws and the same large long ears on her head. Apart from her missing hind legs and tail, the only difference was the reddish colour of her fur compared to my former brownish hue. And she had gotten my smile too, which had certainly helped with Lars.

I tossed her my jacket. "Here, try this. Lars is the one who will come tomorrow to take you back."

"Really!"

"Try it on. And, yes, really. He asked me about you at the farewell party yesterday."

I recognised her dreamy face. But then her expression turned to confusion. "Farewell party?"

"Well, this morning Radel left for Karenburg with the twins and Freya."

"Ha! I don't care about those boring conservative snobs of grandparents. I am glad I no longer have to see them. Good riddance."

I sighed. I understood her, but they were still family. "I hear they have mellowed a bit."

"From obnoxious to indifferent, great. No, thank you."

"Then you could renounce the title to Karenburg. They would be happy for Tim or Tam to be the heir."

"Ha, no, that's the last thing I would do. Let that hang over their heads. And if Karenburg were really to come to me, I would turn it into a republic domain as well."

I chuckled. Yes, my rebellious daughter, show them. Well, their fault for treating her like a pet and not like Radel's eldest daughter. "But the barons would"

"The old farts are constantly bickering with each other. I just have to find the right supporters to play them."

"You've planned this quite well." I smiled. Yes, unleash your rebellion on the republic.

She pointed around. "Well, lots of time. Need to scheme: milking cows, making curds and cheeses, and climbing trees are not exactly nourishing the mind."

"As you mentioned it: The jacket is great for climbing. And I think Lars will be happy to see you in it."

Only then did she look down on her. "It's a bit old. But surprisingly comfortable." She jumped up and down. "Much more support. Do you really think Lars would like it?"

The faded red jacket fitted her better now than it did me. There was still enough jiggling, Lars wouldn't have a chance, even if he hadn't already fallen for her. "I think Lars cares more about who wears the jacket. If he were to propose to you, what would your answer be?"

"Mum!" She blushed even more, the freckles almost lighter spots on her dark red face.

"Please, honesty between us. You know I am happy with whomever you choose. Countess of Karenburg or not, Lars is a fine young man and not after your title."

She looked serious for a second, but then the answer was already on her face. "If Lars were to propose to me tomorrow ... Yes, yes, I would marry him."

I hugged her. "So, you have my agreement. Come here, one more present."

I had to cut my navel a little, but then the big belly button diamond came out. She had seen it all her life; but had never realised that it was an accessory; she had thought that it had come with the body.

We washed it, put some butter on it and then it was her turn. She exhaled, relaxed and it fit, straining her navel. But she could hold it. Hesitantly at first, but any mention of Lars was enough to increase her determination tenfold.

Since it still hurt a little, I let her rest and started to milk the cows. When the sun was bathing the peaks in red light, we built a fire outside. Another evening of raclette under a slowly darkening sky, with the countless stars coming out on the cloudless sky. She talked so much about her plans for Karenburg and that she also would run for Litra, should I ever retire. I smiled silently, she still had not gotten the hint with the farewell party. But I left her talking. And she talked even more about Lars than she realised. Of all my loved ones that I would be leaving behind, I worried the least about her. She would surely put her indelible mark on the world. I just wished that I could see it. In her ways, she followed her parents' example, fighting to improve the lives of those around her, no matter what. Only more fiercely, driven by the energy and relentlessness of youth. And despite her body being the least human in Litra, she was probably the most humane.

It was after midnight when the cold wind reminded us that it was the end of the grazing season. We went into the cabin. She slept on my belly, radiating the heat of youth. Her ears twitched when she dreamed. I ignored the pain and her weight for this last night and hugged her tightly, smiling and silently crying when I thought that she would be the last person to hug.

* * *

In the morning we had the first frost on some grass blades. The sun was still strong enough to thaw it quickly. The cows needed their morning milking and then I helped Carol make the last of the butter, clean the tools and pack them into the old saddle bags I had brought with me.

As we tidied up, she suddenly said: "You should write a book about your life."

I snorted. "With my writing skills? No, this is for you."

She stopped. "Maybe I will."

We laughed together.

I became serious. "Please, let's climb a fir together. My claws are failing."

She looked at me.

"Yes, dear, I am serious. Please."

She nodded and we walked a little further into the forest. I followed her and after a few steps I saw her claw marks on the bark. "This is my favourite."

The poor tree had probably lost a tenth of its bark. But it was still the sturdiest tree around.

Hesitantly, I hooked my claws in. I barely made it to the first side branch, barely higher than I could reach with my hands from the floor when standing on my hind legs. But the ankles of my hind legs would not follow my commands anymore, my hind claws were just scratching the bark. Carol climbed down again, clawing to the trunk effortlessly as I lay my lower body on the branch.

She looked very worried. "Mum, what?"

I smiled at her and then jumped down, something I could still do. She landed next to me. "Give me a hug," and of course she did.

I whispered into her ears. " Your mother is dying. The hind claws won't go in anymore, and today the ankles won't bend to my will either. The tail is numb, well, I am quickly losing control. It was my farewell party."

"No, Mum, it can't be."

I patted her back, crying myself.

After a while, I relaxed my hold. "Look at me, Carol. Do I look healthy and young?"

She swallowed several times. "No, Mum, you have grown old. Yesterday I was a bit surprised at how thin you were. But that does not mean you will die tomorrow. What would I do without you? I"

"Psst. Yesterday you wanted to marry Lars, take on the Barons of Karen and run for the Administrator of Litra. Do it. Nothing has changed. Promise me that you will follow your way."

"But what will you do?"

"I? I will try to climb the Ice Fang."

"But no one has ever come back from" She stopped.

I nodded. "Maybe I am lucky."

"Mum, you are stubborn and stupid. Why?"

"I have spotted Lars down there," I pointed, "I'm going now. Remember, I will always love you, no matter what. You are the best! Farewell."

"Mum, please wait."

"No, I must go now. One last hug."

We hugged until Lars was entering the pasture below.

"I love you. But now go for Lars. Farewell."

Indeed, Lars had changed everything. "Farewell," she said, swallowed and hurried downhill past the cabin. "Carol, skirt!" I called after her, for under her fur she was as naked as I. It took a few moments for my words to reach her. She almost fell over and ran up into the cabin. Only to emerge seconds later with the skirt and raced back down.

Lars started to run when he saw her. She easily toppled him over, and then they hugged and kissed in the grass. Time for me to leave.

I wrapped some cheese and a cabbage in a cloth, left my dagger from Wo`lua on the bench in front of the cabin and began my ascent to the pass. I walked slowly but steadily as I watched Lars and Carol finally getting up, rounding up the cows and loading them with equipment, flirting with each other all the while.

Only when everything was ready did she suddenly stop and look around. I raised on my hind legs and waved at her, far below. She waved back, slumped together, and then Lars comforted her.

But I turned around, no lingering. Now my life was behind me, my steps to the new part were light. Well, not too light, but before mid-afternoon I had reached the pass which marked the boundary between Litra and the untamed wilderness beyond. I stood on the pass summit and looked down. I was still light-hearted and happy that I had been able to give so much to those people down there.

But that was the past. Up here I felt almost halfway to The Soul. I ate some of the cheese that I had brought with me and walked down into the wilderness, towards the Ice Fang, the highest peak around. I had only been to the edge of the Ice Fang glaciers once before.

I reached the ice fields before sunset. I ate the cabbage and drank my fill of the icy meltwater. And then I walked on. By the evening I had climbed higher than anyone else in Litra. I had crossed almost half the ice and harshy snow of the glaciers that stood between me and the ice-covered peak. By now, I had entirely lost control of my tail and could no longer bend my hind paws. But the claws were out and gave me enough traction, I just had to throw the paws forward so they landed properly. Somehow The Soul was lazy and wanted me to get as close as possible since I did not fall into a crevasse or slid down on loose ice.

I even climbed with my hands, my fingers losing their feeling in the ice. By the time the stars came out, I was already higher than all the surrounding mountains. I paused for a moment. Apart from the dark peak ahead, it was as if I was in space, stars above and stars below.

I was going slower and slower, with more and more breaks. My tail was dragging and after every stop, I had to lift it up by my hands or it would freeze to the ice. Breathing became harder and harder, but that only strengthened my determination until the desire to move was all that was left of my mind.

I reached the summit at dawn, catching the first rays of the sun in this part of the world. I had made it, I lay down and looked out at the world below as it was slowly bathed in light. Blood was trickling from my ears, my breathing was not providing enough oxygen, my consciousness was fading. My last thoughts were of Freya, the twins, Carol, oh Carol, and Radel. And then suddenly the world turned bright.