Arnold was a strange child. Not the normal strange, he was too odd even for that. As a baby, he never cried and he never fussed. He didn't indicate at all that he wanted to be fed, or showed that he ever wanted anything. His parents had been worried about his lack of reaction when he turned three and brought him to a specialist, who examined him with every kind of test they had. Luckily, most of those tests were experimental and the parents weren't charged for their use.
Unfortunately, nothing was found. His brain worked fine and his central nervous system lit up when he was touched or prodded. His eyes and physical reactions were all within the normal range for a child of his age. The only conclusion that the specialist could come to, that the only thing that seemed to be wrong with him, was his lack of being stimulated mentally. Nothing seemed to excite him. Shiny toys and loud noises did absolutely nothing for the boy. Different tasting foods made no impact on him and they could feed him anything at all and he would eat it all the same way. Monotonously.
When Arnold was five, his father found him with an odd furry thing in his grasp. Not knowing what it was, he tried to take it and see what it was. Arnold squinted his eyes at him and reluctantly let it go. His father looked at the thing and it was a squirrel. A dead squirrel. Scared, the father quickly disposed of the carcass and took Arnold inside the house. He would be starting school in a few weeks and his father didn't want Arnold to make any kind of fuss.
“Don't tell your mother you found that dead squirrel.” His father warned him. “I don't want her upset.”
Arnold looked at him with a blank stare, as was his normal look, and walked away without a word. His blonde hair was trimmed short at the whim of his mother and it gave the boy an air of maturity.
School started and Arnold was admitted to the local primary school. Both of his parents were worried about his interactions with the other children, so they stayed around and watched as Arnold entered the classroom for the first time.
None of the other children paid him any attention and he sat at the very back of the classroom. The other children were rambunctious and lively as they jumped around and played with each other, while Arnold sat in his seat and kept to himself. Dejected, his parents left and hoped that the constant company of other kids would do their non-reactive son a world of good.
The teacher had been advised about Arnold's peculiarities and she was determined to break that little boy out of his shell. She didn't realize that it wasn't a shell, it was just who he was. She still did her best to include him at the front of any activities that she had the students participate in. She worked hard and spent extra time with him to try and get some kind of reaction out of him, and all of her efforts were in vain... until that fateful day the class project was introduced.
Keeping a pet.
For the first time in six months, she saw Arnold's eyes widen slightly and almost sparkle. Her heart was overjoyed that he was finally interested in something, so she dove into the subject with abandon and explained everything she knew about keeping a pet alive and happy. Arnold listened attentively, or so she assumed, because his eyes never left the little hamster in the large cage.
A week later, she came into the classroom early to prep like she always did, and she noticed that the hamster's cage was open and the little thing was gone. She frantically searched all of the classroom's nooks and crannies and all the hiding spots a hamster could get into, and she didn't find it. Saddened at the loss of the class pet, she closed the cage and decided to hide it for the day. When her students came in, only two of them noticed the missing cage and asked her about it.
“Nibbles is just taking a short vacation.” The teacher said, surprised that Arnold was not one of them. “He'll be back in a few days.”
Arnold looked up from his desk and looked right at her, and let a little smile show.
The teacher caught her breath at the sight, because she had never seen his mouth move except to eat, and now she could see his smile. It was striking, and she made special note of it in her class log. She was thankful that hamsters were so cheap and would pick up a couple of them, just in case. She had heard that the little things always managed to get out of their cages somehow.
Every few weeks, she would find their pet hamster missing and would replace it, and no one was the wiser. She would laugh as she added 'escaped hamsters' to her classroom expense report and claim the loss. She was a little worried that the things might get together and create a bit of a problem; but, they never did. Once they escaped from the cage, they were never seen again. The janitor told her that he couldn't find any droppings, so they hadn't stuck around.
The school year ended and as each student came to her to accept their certificate of completion, graduating them into the next grade, they each gave her a hug. She always accepted them as her due for watching over them all year. The last child to approach her was Arnold. She opened her arms to get his hug and he stepped close. She hugged him, a little tighter than she had the other children, because he was the one that had made the most progress in her class that year.
Arnold put his mouth by her ear and whispered. “Thank you.”
The teacher caught her breath and tensed up, because he hadn't spoken a single word the whole year. “You are the best student I ever had.” She whispered back and let him out of the hug.
When he stepped back, once again she was stunned by him as he gave her a full smile this time. She held in her tears and her emotions just long enough for the ceremony to end. She closed the classroom door and burst into tears, because none of the children had ever thanked her on their own before. They had been prodded by their parents to say it and they never meant it. This time... when the silent Arnold spoke the words... she knew he was genuinely thanking her.
Arnold's father drove home from the school, which officially started summer break. He briefly turned his head towards the backseat. “So, did you learn a lot this year?”
Arnold nodded slightly and his father saw it in the rear view mirror.
“Want to tell us about it?” Arnold's mother asked.
Arnold shook his head slightly. Everything he had learned he wanted to keep to himself.
A month into summer vacation, Arnold's father discovered a bit of an off smell came from under the small shed that he kept his lawnmower and various tools. He was sure that something had crawled under there and died, so he grabbed a shovel and dug at the ground beside the shed. It was looser than he thought it should have been, then he heard a squelch sound and the smell tripled in intensity. He gagged a little and held his breath as he dug the shovel back and down, then pulled it out...
...and found six dead hamsters in various states of disembowelment.
He threw up, because he couldn't be sure that the shovel did all of that damage, even with the sound the shovel had made and the increased smell. He walked back to the house and grabbed a black garbage bag, dumped the ghastly remains into it, then used the shovel to dig out anything that might still be under the shed. He was relieved that there were just entrails and no other dead animals. He added them to the bag and filled the space he just dug, then carried the garbage bag to the back of his property.
A hole was dug, the bag was tossed in, then it was buried. With the horrible task done, Arnold's father thought about confronting his son. He wasn't sure how to phrase it, though. Should he accuse him outright? The boy was only five years old and would be six in a few days. No, that was too harsh. Maybe he could bring it up in conversation somehow. He chuckled and shook his head. There was no real way to do it.
I'll just have to keep an eye on him and see what else he does. Arnold's father thought, put the shovel back in the shed, and went into the house. He didn't notice the bright eyed boy that had been hiding right there in the bushes the entire time.
You know. What are you supposed to do when you see signs of your son killing animals?
Turn him into a child Dexter.
@ktheus , Dexter was traumatized by seeing his mother murdered and sitting in the pool of blood, then wanting / desiring to see it again when he was older.
Arnold is not like that or had that kind of trauma.
@Bokuboy They share similarities though. Arnold was born that way while Dex wasn't.
Look. I'm fine with it if he kills thousands of humans, but killing small and cute things like hamster is a crime punishable only with total eradication of the soul. Disgusting.
I'm working on undoing my shackles of morals to free myself into insanity, but cute things are too much. I love cute things after all. How dare he kill those cuties. Disgusting.
He is your natural enemy, lol
@Erlon I couldn't read further. Some things are beyond limits even for myself.
Even if humans are killed, I won't care much at all anymore, because humans are too selfish, they don't deserve to live.
@IHadSoManyNames arent you human, you have less faith in humanity I guess? There is time I though that way but not anymore
@Erlon Actually, I was thinking of writing a comment about how I hate humans and stuff, but what's the point?
It's too tiring to live in human society, I'm really not made for it. That might be the core reason why I hate being a human.
Then again, I also really desire to be a cute female, so I can feel good about myself. And what's better than being a cute human girl? Exactly, being a cute cat girl. The bonus would be to be able to disconnect from human society by being able to transform into a small cat.
@IHadSoManyNames ...do you mean being female cat rather than being a boy? Or realistically being a cute girl?
I think being a cat is not easy. They met stranger male cats and may get pregnant. Happen in the cat.. I addopt? She came home with bigger stomach sometimes like two times already
Transgendering happen if wanting become a cute girl. And being a cute girl not easy too? I dont know but I think they were judged more because they stand out. Like when they being a bit selfish cold or arrogant and strange and stupid and scary guy sounds annoying.
In the end its about how.
@Erlon Naturally there would be other problems, but they are so much smaller and manageable than being in human society. It's highly toxic.
And I'm sure, being a slightly more intelligent cat, I would be able to avoid any kind of rape done by others of my "new" race. If not, then that is fine too. I just wouldn't really care for my kids, I think? Raising kids was never any intention of mine.
And if possible, I might even let myself be castrated to avoid that problem alltogether. That might bring new problems psychologically, since in the mating phase, I wouldn't be able to mate, but it would be entirely worth it.
And even as a cute girl, I'd still be the antisocial person I am right now, I'd still be lazy, but maybe I'd come to like myself a bit more? That's the whole goal here.
No matter who or what you are, life always brings troubles. Sometimes small, sometimes big.
But that's why I want to be a "cat spirit". Usually they are detached from mortality, unable to mate, don't need to feed or do anything that would require endless work.
That's how it should be, but of course, until it actually may happen, I wouldn't truly know.
@IHadSoManyNames Highly toxic? well some of them I believe so, but not all of them. Its just hard to find the not one.
Its debatable. Me and you could be called toxic by norm and productivity, as one of four type for toxic people. I suit the word unruly, and you I dont really know, antisocial?
If you mean by cute girl gene, its still hard to maintain being cute if they lazy. Maybe they become chubby or weak or getting some health problem.
Even as homie, in school antisocial cute girl could be bullied, or some unspeakable thing. Well they can act, but still... I dont think they will be happy?
I dont understand why you want to be a cute girl. Are you actually girl? So far I though you are a boy.. and.. i dont know, strange?
Even if I have an imagination somewhat like those, I dont think its logical to happen. At least before death. And who know how exactly after dead?
@Erlon Well, I'm fairly certain I am a boy right now. I don't exactly hate that fact or anything, but I just don't really like myself like this. I think I'd prefer being a female instead, but I wouldn't know until I'm actually a female.
And I won't do anything stupid like transitioning, that's not the real thing, at least for me.
As I said, there will be other problems even if one is a cute girl. But that is beside the point.
What I am actually saying is, that I wish to try being a girl to see if life would be more comfortable that way. If I could be happier.
If I'm not happier, then that's fine as well. Life is not really that great anyway.
Life is too troublesome. As a human, there are too many rules and morals you need to follow. That all is eliminated when you become something that transcends humanity.
For example, a cat spirit. Those kind of things are in the realm of fantasy and as far as I'm concerned they exist solely in my imagination.
I'm not actually expecting to become something in my life, but I'm willing to pray and wish for it anyway.
The whole point of becoming something like a cat spirit, is to be able to finally, fully disconnect from humanity. The freedom that would bring is unimaginable at this moment in time, but it needs to be liberating, it needs to be.
@IHadSoManyNames ..I think 'cat spirit' is just an existence made by someone or fictional, not actually exist?
Human is not that bad actually, if cat girl exist they will still human, with cat ears race. Its race, well im not racist but its biologically and mentally logical.
They think, they have believe, they living, they get trouble, they run, they fight, they slaved, they killed, they hunt.
Nah, I think, they dont exist.
Sometimes I imagine if I could experience become a girl. The first thing is I will avoid any close relation to men, I think I would be a dangerous one? As i believe I can knock kill or scheme them for how far men get close.
I will never want to be feminism, so even in girl body, I will still like girl. And I will want to can switch back to boy body, those heavy thing is not man.
The only way to escape as humanity is, I dont know, become angel or demon? Or just be far from bad human.
@Erlon Nah you don't seem to grasp the concepts I have explained numerous times already. But let's leave it here.
It's kinda tedious to explain the same thing over and over again.
It should have become clear already, that cat spirits are not real at all. They exist solely in my imagination. They are made up. And that remains so, until I actually see something like that.
They are just like god. Not existant until I see them.
But let's really leave it here, you don't seem to grasp what I am trying to say at all.
@IHadSoManyNames, actually, there have been cat spirits spoken of and written of in ancient literature from Egypt and China. I haven't researched it any further than that, though. I do know that cats were revered in Egypt and even had their own chambers inside the tombs of the kings buried there. Oh, and they guard the land of the dead or something. Protect the king's spirit to let it go to heaven maybe? (shrugs) It's been years since I read about it. LOL
@Bokuboy Sure, I heard of that as well, but until I actually see it with my own two eyes, it will still be uncomfirmed.
Some thing, we believe in without thinking, but things like god or the supernatural, are only believed when we actually see it. Words of ancient literature are not easily believed.
One of cringiest sh*t I've read in some time 😅
@Hmmm Some people need to take LTGs speech seriously.