Chapter 13
In which Judgement Day comes upon us all
AMBROSIA
I heard Jesus explain, "It's gonna be okay. It's just a matter of helping you recover. Because you and Lucy both had to deal with the trauma of Estheriel's death, I'm going to do what I can to make sure you recover. But first..." Jesus did some sort of weird pulling thing where she pulled the aura of darkness out of me, compressed it into a ball, and then shoved up in Lucy's womb. Noting my blank stare, he explained to, "I'm putting this darkness in a place where it can't hurt anyone. It's not like Lucy will ever have a boyfriend, since she only has eyes for Nevras. So her firstborn child will have all your darkness. But this won't happen, because Nevras is yours." Lucy didn't seem to hear this explanation, as she was so thrilled to have her own body, that nothing else mattered. Even though Jesus had just put her hand on her nether regions, they were both women, and Lucy was far less embarrassed about such things than I. She didn't notice any of that, except to give a brief moan of pleasure as the darkness entered her.
Jesus then told the both of us, "Lucy. Ambrosia. Listen. While the darkness may be sealed away, you may still have things to deal with." I sighed. Oh yes, I certainly did. The darkness was gone from my body and I no longer felt strong urges to kill random people. What I did feel however, was a palpable guilt over all that I had done. Even though it was a different reality, even though in some ways it didn't matter because Jesus healed her, it still greatly disturbed me.
Seeing Sapphire look concerned, she said, "Don't worry, you have nothing to feel guilty over. You did fine." Lucy didn't seem phased, "It's not a big deal. Really. I'm just glad to finally have my own body. For so long now, it was like I was a twin who was expected to dress and act like the other. Speaking of which..." She slid off her brown dress, and rummaged through a bag, pulling out a dress that Ambrosia bought on an impulse (mostly at the urging of Lucy tempting me) but never had the nerve to wear. It was a long green ballgown that hung off the shoulder, showed the upper part of her breasts, and had slit that exposed her right leg all the way up to her upper thigh. "There," she said, "Now I feel like a different person."
SAPPHIRE
Hearing Jesus explain that I didn't have anything to worry about didn't reassure me. I knew that every human has flaws, and just because mine weren't relevant to the situation didn't mean I didn't feel guilt of my own. Indeed, I felt a sort of survivor's guilt. I was the only one who hadn't done anything terribly wrong in this situation, so watching these two struggle with their insecurities made me feel even worse. I was an incarnation of God, like Jesus, but I was human first. There had to be something I could do to help.
Jesus gave the two of them psychotherapy, and also employed a great deal of massage techniques, explaining that humans on an instinctive level want to be touched, but have all sorts of rules about touching. But therapy begins when we put all of that aside and the person feels loved. I listened in, while acting like I was just standing nearly. It would be super embarrassing if they knew that I was just as shaken up by events as the two of them. But nothing could really relieve the need to be touched. Nevras was standing nearby as well, but he just sat and watched, apparently being turned on by seeing girls rub each other's bodies. Eventually he could take it no more, and joined in on the fun, focusing mainly on Ambrosia will ignoring Lucy and me. Look, I get that Nevras is very monogamous, but it still hurt being passed up by both Jesus and Nevras. Then Jesus noticed me and I felt her warm touch on my back and shoulders. After a few minutes of what she called therapeutic touching, she moved on to more verbal forms of therapy.
Jesus shared some of the same talking points as a typical therapist, but it was far less clinical, and far more what you'd expect from a good friend. He didn't quote Jung or Freud, he just gave a good talk. But Ambrosia was clearly wallowing in her own guilt... well, more so than I. "I just feel so sinful," she said.
AMBROSIA
Jesus asked, "Is this the day? Is today Judgement Day? Is that what you would like?" I had visions of end times with him punishing all the sinners. Noting my hesitation, he said, "Very well, Judgement Day is upon you!" I gasped in horror, as he continued, "And here it is. Who will judge you?!?" Jesus, who before had been the picture of femininity now towered over me with a body much like Gandalf. Well, or would be if Gandalf had a body like Arnold Schwarzenegger. It looked like he could crush me with his yaoi hands, but here he was asking me a direct question that completely blindsided me. "...What?" I asked. "You heard me, " Jesus repeated, "Who is going to judge you?!?"
I sat there dumbfounded, "Wait, I thought you were going to judge me." I had read the Bible in my spare time, but I don't remember this particular exercise being mentioned. "My mother!" I blurted out, referring to the one who adopted me, "She was always scolding me. Alway with the lectures about how emotional people are evil. I locked a part of myself away. I never allowed myself too feel strongly before I met Nevras." Jesus shook his head, "You mother is dead! So is your other mother, and the only thing she did was give you up. Neither of these women can accuse you." I fumbled for another name before choosing the most common one, "What about God? Doesn't he condemn my sins?" Jesus shook his head, "I and my Father are one. And I don't condemn you. You must understand that all people have sins, and the price of those sins is death. But both of us, and Sapphire over there, none of us condemn you. I died to forgive all of the sins of others. Who is judging you?" He looked at me as though he wanted me to come to a particular conclusion, but I didn't have any answers. So I did what anyone might do. I guessed, starting with Yazim Jianne as prime candidate. I knew he was up to something. He shook his head for each of these, and became more confused and anguished with each round guess. "Surely not Nevras?" I asked as he shook his head one more time, "Then who?"
Then it dawned on me, "Wait, am I the one judging me?" He nodded in the affirmative. The form of Jesus softened again, and he was no longer a muscular man of imposing height, Jesus looked like a kind woman with brown hair and very gentle eyes. These eyes were filled with such compassion that I broke down in tears. Jesus embraced me with a long hug before Nevras cut in. Unlike many men, Nevras didn't get aggressive when he was jealous. He wouldn't hurt Jesus, but Nevras did want a piece of the action.
JESUS
At some point after this, Ambrosia went from receptive and vulnerable to catatonic. She didn't like the answer I had given her. When I try to help people, sometimes they delusion and self-accusations take over. I tell them "You don't need to feel bad about your dog dying," and somehow they hear, "You're not allowed to feel bad about your dog dying." Or hallucinations and distorted reality comes and they literally see me as intending them harm. This is particularly pronounced when they have a demon. But I can banish demons. What I cannot address is free will.
All of this would be true of most people, but Ambrosia took what I said to heart. And I am afraid that was precisely the problem. Human beings need Knowledge of Good and Evil in order to function. However, now that she saw herself as simultaneously sinful but also forgiven, her mind and heart didn't know how to cope with this information. It looked like she was trapped in a sort of paralysis where she was worried that anything new she did might further displease God. You see this choice paralysis with certain animals where a dish is set down before them from two different sides at once. Both look equally tasty and delicious, both are the same in every war, and cats being naturally indecisive, the cat starves to death trying to choose the better meal. Actually, no, this is an urban legend. But my point remains! Ambrosia had just figured out that since Adam and Eve's first disobedience, every choice was a sin, only differing in degree of sinfulness. Everything was also forgiven by me, but in the human mind, that doesn't matter so much. If everything is acceptable, everything is also meaningless. How did I know this is what she was thinking? Well, I'm God of course. But also because when I was deciding to become incarnate, I also tried several other ideas. One of these was to simply take away Knowledge of Good & Evil, only to find that humans lost all free will and ability to decide. I knew this look as one similar to what I had experienced. "Ambrosia needs medicine or she will die," I explained. Nevras looked at me angrily, "What did you do to her?" I explained what I have told you, the audience, as clearly as possible. "...And because the Yin and Yang are unified in her mind, she can see images and creatures that other humans cannot." Tamashii blinked, "Wait, so Ambrosia now has schizophrenia? Seriously, what have you done to my mother?!?" I sighed, "I was trying to treat her guilt, but I guess I went about it the wrong way. I'm human too, remember? Anyway, there is good news. I have a cure."
Ambrosia was having some sort of intense hallucination. One of the quirks about her Oracle powers was that if her power was out of control enough, she could start projecting things. And sure enough, when she wasn't showing us flora and fauna of the astral world, she proved that she hadn't totally tuned us out as the following message appeared from thin air:
If you or a Loved One are suffering from Catatonic Schizophrenia
Please call this number: 866-903-3787
There is Help. Operators are standing by.
Then the image faded, and she went back to seeing winged fish, and strangely colored plants and insects with odd or grotesque limbs, and furry beings floating in midair. She was deep in her own world. Elias asked, "I do hope you will not tell us that it is a suppository? Or will you lay your hands on her similar to the style of reiki? Is there something that we can do in order to help?" I nodded, "In a manner of speaking, yes. Some of you will have to go on a quest..."
Tamashii rang her cellphone, "Hey guys! Yes, we're back. It was intense, and it looks like Mom has some mental issues now. This Jesus guy was able to cure some of them but..." She saw that I was a bit impatient, so she said, "Hang on, lemme put you on speaker."
I said, "Right, so we're going on a quest, and you are invited if you want. Our mission is to find the Tree of Knowledge of Good & Evil, as this should cure her condition. Meet us in Kushiyama, near... well, we should be hanging around the entrance to the town anyway." Tamashii chatted with her friends before hanging up. "Wait, why is it that you cannot heal my mother anyway?" Tamashii asked me. So I told them the story about how one night, just around when Easter came, a fox girl named Rena gave up her body in order to be with her boyfriend... erm, girlfriend Alicia. "After that," I said, "I had an immortal body and an eternal spirit. I technically can heal your mom but it is also a matter of her free will. It's also much more meaningful if you do it."
GOD
Reset. I wasn't satisfied with that scene, so we played it over until we got it just right. Oh yeah, my son did like to touch people, but there's a difference between skinship and going too far with a married woman, even if Jesus was also a woman. And so, while Jesus did my best to give her positive words, I came to Nevras the day before in a dream and tried to warn him that Ambrosia really needed a good back rub. Sapphire's part in the scene was unchanged. While Nevras was giving her a good cuddle, Jesus talked with Lucy and Ambrosia, and then saw how Sapphire longed to be touched and went ahead with it. The scene didn't make any sense now, though. Should I just consider removing it?
In any case, the rest of things, played out as before, and they were ready to search for that tree.
AMATERASU
Long ago in Ancient Japan, the universe was a shapeless sea of stars. There was a Male and a Female present over the water. His name was Izanagi ("man who invites"). She was Izanami ("woman who invites"). Izanagi and Izanami thrust a jewelled spear into the ocean, and the first land formed where the spear touched the water. This was the central island of Japan. And the two married and discovered intercourse. The first child, Hiruko, was born deformed and weak, and they later abandoned it. They decided that it was because Izanami speak first during sex. After all, men should take initiative in sex. Am I right, gals?
Anyway, many more children, each of whom represent an island and/or a kami nature were born. Finally, Izanami gave birth to the kami of fire, and wound up dying. She went to the underworld Yomi, where Izanagi tried to visit. She begged and pleaded Izanagi not to look, at least not until Izanami requested to be brought back to life. He did look though, and discovered that Izanami's body was in a severe state of rot. He ran away frightened, and Izanami chased after, hoping to force Izanagi to stay in Yomi. He escaped and blocked the entrance with a large boulder. Izanagi went to the water to purify, and out came two other kami, Susano and me. Who am I? I am Amaterasu, the Sun goddess.
My brother was a storm kami and somewhat of a mess. He made such trouble that Susano was banished from the heavens. This pissed me off, and I decided to sulk for awhile. What? I was still fairly young, as immortal beings go. And so I made my way to a dark cave and rolled a boulder in front of it. Kami cannot undo the power of each other, so while I was in the cave, nobody could roll the boulder away. But when I was in the cave, depressed and sad, and unable to see any way out of things, I had managed to take the sun with me, turning what was in the sky into an extended eclipse that lasted for about three hours. Later historians would date this event to exactly April 3, 33 AD. My normally upbeat and vibrant personality was gone, as I cried my eyes out and wanted to be alone.
Now, you wouldn't think the sun being dark would be a big deal for only three hours, but you'd be wrong. For those three hours, the sun was not simply occluded like it was for above seven minutes or so during a typical eclipse, it was actually gone from the sky. For three hours, the land froze to the point where crops couldn't grow, and living beings began to die. I'm told during this exact time, something else was happening in history, but keep in mind, Ancient Japan is not even the same timeline. This happened much earlier. Nevertheless, as I went out that night, the sky was very interesting. The planets aligned to form what appeared to be the shape of a man hanging upright with his arms outstretched.
They asked me to come out when I first got depressed, and they noticed things were dying, but I was in a sulky mood, as I said. But then I rolled away the boulder when I heard a party going on outside. I wanted to be in the party! When I asked what the celebration was about, they showed me my own bright reflection. Awww guys! I was incredibly pleased, but less so when they dragged me off to do my duty the next day. I wanted to keep partying until the sun came out.
RENA
I was pretty young when it happened. While most of the genetic hybrids died thousands or maybe even millions of years before I was born, we were in a time of turmoil. Statues were being smashed, people were being silenced for crimes of thought, and society was out of touch with reality. There were tyrants in the political sphere as well as the religious groups. Harsh laws, intolerant people, great illness, high taxes, all of these things coincided around the same years. It was a time perfect for Jesus to be born.
Now people might tell you 536 AD was scientifically the worst time to be alive, but that's a load of crap. An active volcano spewing ash doesn't even rate with the sheer amount of authoritarianism, dysfunctional religion, poverty, and disease that all happened around the same time. Worse yet, the hybrid experiment had been rediscovered, and that meant that people could expect to be hunted as a "demon" is someone gave them vaccines that made their features too animalistic.
Some of these genetic splicing technology washed ashore deposited from the ocean on dry land. By dumb luck, these things made it very people who could analyze it, and turn it into a widely used serum. They thought they could make some sort of super soldiers, so a lot of children were jabbed with this drug without even giving consent. They claimed that there was a sickness going around that this medicine would treat, but nobody that I knew was coughing or sneezing.
Before I was injected, I was a little girl named Mary from a remote town of Magdala. But after that, the scientists called me Rena, meaning "Fox." I developed ears and tail of a fox, which led to my being hunted by people with hounds. It also led to me being unable to remain at home, as it wasn't safe for me there. I was a wandering mostly homeless girl, sick with the side-effects of the vaccine, and possessed by seven demons. That is to say, as a foxgirl, I had grown seven tails (which later increased to nine). It was then that he came. He called me by name. He didn't make me human, but rather healed my side-effects and made me stronger. While the rest of the world thought I was demon-possessed, he gave me a purpose and a place to live.
