Chapter 20
In which the author deliberately inserts a tearjerker movie scene
TAMASHII
Atreyu dismounted from his horse Artax, after the narrator had finished talking about the Swamps of Sadness. "C'mon boy," Atreyu said. After some hesitation, he managed to pull Artax a bit. He struggled along pulling him, while Artax lifted a foot at a time, like someone managing to put their clothes on one arm or leg at a time, to do the dishes when life was awful. Artax stopped a bit, and Ateryu had to pull him over the hump. "That's a boy," Atreyu said, as he led Artax past a tree.
I ate popcorn while watching the scene on the Crystal Mirror. While Bastian Bux was reading this all in a book. I was watching a movie about a book about another world. I was sure this would never happen to me, so I just kept munching away. It was my first time watching this, but though the crystal inserted into the mirror was of a film made actual millennia ago, the clarity held up perfectly. I ate another kernel of popcorn while my friend Sastra said that this was the best part. Portia told me not to listen to her, and that this was actually the worst and most horrible part. Having never seen it before, I didn't know. I ate some more popcorn then washed it down with a drink just as Atreyu said, "S'okay," and they switched to narration. Bastian Bux read, "Everyone knew that whoever let the sadness overtake him would sink into the swamp..." Am I going to like this scene?
"You're doing fine, Artax," Atreyu coaxed. He pulled Artax on through the muck with a nearby grass thicket, telling him, "That's right." Then suddenly he pulled, and the horse wouldn't go. The film zoomed to Atreyu turning around, while Artax stood in place and refused his pull. Atreyu said, "C'mon, Artax," but this time it was as though the horse could speak, although faintly. "No, I can't," he seemed to say. Atreyu pulled harder but then lowered the bridle, "What's the matter? What's wrong?" He pulled again. Again, Artax's emotions seemed to speak for him, and I distinctly heard, "No. Leave me alone. Stop please." Atreyu insisted, "C'mon boy! What the matter?" Artax's face said it all as he looked around, "All this darkness and gloom is getting to me." Atreyu smiled, "I understand." He walked into a deeper area, an area that had not only muck but actual water, before stepping on to muck on the other side. Had Atreyu had any sadness, that watery place would have been too deep for him. But he was fine even in deeper waters, as he said, "It's too difficult for you." It was then that he noticed Artax sinking. "Artax!" he shouted this time, "You're sinking! C'mon! Turn around! You have to, now!" But Artax had the look (for a horse), of a person contemplating suicide. Atreyu pulled pivoted his body while holding the saddle, running half around Artax in an attempt to get him to move somewhere, anywhere, if it meant moving out from the sadness. The film gave us a money shot of Atreyu's concern as he shouted, "C'mon! Artax!!!" Then they switched perspective to Atreyu from the back, pulling Artax, "Fight against the sadness, Artax..." He pleaded, moving close to Artax who was now in muck up to his neck, "Artax, please? You're letting the sadness of the swamps get to you... You have to try... You have to care... For me. You're my friend. I love you." But Artax was too caught in his sadness. Atreyu tried to pull him out of it, angrily shouting at him, "Artax!!! Stupid horse! You gotta move or you'll die!" He begged, "Move, please..." And then he told the horse, "I won't give up. Don't quit. Artax!!!" The scene cut to black. They zoomed into Atreyu crying. Then Bastian was crying. But I wasn't crying at all, not a bit. But then I noticed my popcorn was was salty and wet. Okay, maybe a bit. But don't tell anyone, you got that?
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I dunno why I thought about this memory. It's not like anything like that would happen to me. Though strictly speaking, there had been that one time that Azrael had to visit Niraya, and cut a big gash in the place getting me out. But that was a fluke, it wasn't like I was prone to things like that.
That day, Portia and I agreed that Sastra's taste in movie scenes, and possibly her taste in movies could not be trusted. Sure enough, not long after she treated us both to The Boy in the Striped Pajamas. We both called her a demon for liking this, but she defended its evocative feel and artistic quality.
And here we were face to face with a real life Swamp of Sadness. Only, Lucy said, "We should call this the Dark Swamp of Darkness." She had clearly not paid attention when this movie played. Before, we had thought that the secret the Council was keeping was the wonderful plenty within Eden. And indeed, we filled the boat with baskets of fresh fruits and vegetables, along with plenty of meat. But now, we understood what had happened. But Lucy told it anyway for the benefit of you readers, "All this time... To keep such a secret. They've been poisoning the Garden! It's probably to try to kill either the Tree of Life, because they thought that such eternal life represented a threat to a stable population. Or maybe they thought eating from the Tree of Knowledge might make people relearn war or big government." As Lucy explained it, the Council didn't seem so bad, just overzealous. She continued offering very detailed theories, which sounded right. Lucy was a barrel of exposition right now, knowing motivations that she could not possibly have known, short of reading them from a script.
Speaking of barrels. There were barrels of arsenic trioxide, hydrogen cyanide, nitrous oxide, phosgene, PFOA, and many other chemicals that were either dangerous to the human body or to the environment. They had thankfully combined in a way that was not poisonous, acidic, or carcinogenic. You'll notice that I didn't say harmless. In actual fact, all of the plants around the Tree of Life and the Tree of Knowledge of Good & Evil were totally dead, and the moisture combined with the toxins to form a miasma in the air, and a morass on the ground. Yes, we have one of those "word of the day" calendars.
I sighed, thinking about the pointlessness of this quest. Ambrosia got herself off the streets, then did her duty again only to get into this catatonic state. I wasn't sure that what I did would make any difference. She was just gonna die anyway, and in fact so would I, one day. Why did any of this quest matter? Why, they entire thing was depressing... "Tamashii! you're sinking! C'mon, turn around! You have to now." said Portia. "Fight against the sadness!" Sastra chimed in. And Portia said, "You have to try... You have to care... For me. You're my friend. I love you." Okay that one I believed. But I wasn't really sad, I was just feeling gloomy about our outlook, that's all. All the same, it was depressing to have people worry about you. I didn't want to feel like a burden to them. I was continuing to sink, when I realized that without intending to, my guilt about making others worry had in turn made me sad. That as much as I might deny it, there were parts of me that were rather dark, just like my mother. "Hey kiddo," I heard a voice say. I looked up to see Nevras. Realizing that I was now in the Swamp up to my neck, where everyone else was was only walking in muck that reached their ankles, made me feel even more guilty and miserable. I was sad about being sad.
"That's enough of that," he said, "no child of mine will wallow in self-pity. Not when there are things to do." And indeed, some future self of mine was a writer. She'd finished the book that I read over and over again about the care of my favorite pet. We'd left the little bugger on the ship, as we weren't sure what to expect here. And I wanted to go exploring. But mostly, just hanging out with my friends might be enough. I didn't have to have such all-or-nothing unrealistic expectations for life, it was okay to just be. Grabbing me and hoisting me up in air before setting me down on a rocky area, he asked, "How would you like to get a piggyback ride across this swamp?" I shook my head, "Nahhhh dad, you're too uncool! I like my other Mommy better." That cut him down to size, "My daughter doesn't think I'm worth anything..." Lucy bent down, and gave him a kiss, "You're worth it to me." I am told these are the same words that Ambrosia uttered to Dad when he was struggling in an illusion the very night I was conceived. Lucy and I helped pull Dad out of the sludge, and they walked together holding hands and with me on her back, the very image of a happy family. We walked along until at least both Trees were in sight.
Still, a prevailing miasma of hopelessness prevailed. The swamp itself caused sinking but the miasma created a choking feeling. I know it was hard getting there, but... I wondered. Would we be able to make it back as easily as we came?
JESUS
Awhile back, my disciples looked at the temple and how it was filled with statues and polished stones, and so on. They mentioned how lovely it was. Disgusted with their worship of a piece of stone, I blurted out that not one stone of the original building would remain. They often point to the Wailing Wall as proof that I gave a false prophecy, but I never said that the walls might not remain. The outer walls surrounding a building are not the same as the building itself. It is entirely possible for a meteor to hit a build yet leave its walls.
But I was referring to the Temple that is my body, not some bit of stone. They didn't get it, so they asked what sort of sign there would be to such an event. So I gave them the signs surrounding my death, signs of heaven and earth, such as perhaps a darkness over the land that lasted several hours?
I had been arrested and although my people tried to fight for my freedom, I refused their help. They cut someone's ear off, but after telling them to stop, I touched the guard's ear and immediately time selectively reversed, leaving him with a whole ear.
They took me before a trial, and people testified against me while I said nothing. It didn't matter, as the accusers couldn't keep their story against me straight. So the judge asked me if I had anything to say, whether the accusation against me was true or not. I explained to him that the sort of kingdom I was making was not a political one. So he sent me to a Jewish official. After I didn't do any miracles, he agreed with the judge that I wasn't a real threat. He intended that I be whipped and set free, but the crowds demanded that I be executed. I had betrayed their faith in the Messiah. They even called for some other Jesus to be set free in my place. I was the scapegoat, after all. The Passover animal.
I was whipped, I had my clothes torn, but back then the Atlanteans didn't do crucifixion. Their practice was to throw people into the air, and impale them on a tree with their tridents. With people they particularly hated, the made a game of it, seeing how long the trident stayed pinned, and seeing how long a person could hang before dying. This fulfilled two passages, one about how "Cursed is everyone who is hanged on a tree," as I in effect bore a curse for the sins of others. The other was about how "they have pierced my hands and feet." You see, the Atlanteans could easily go through my torso, but it was more of a challenge to pin my hands while I was in midair. The symbol of me that my followers wore looked like a tree. But the symbol that later Atlantean followers chose looked more like the trident from Dragon Quest.
You know the rest. How Peter denied me three times before the rooster crowed. How Judas (apparently) died. Actually, she faked her death, and used the abilities I had given her to take a different form. How a field was bought with blood money. How the curtain of the temple tore apart that day. And how after this, all my disciples hid in the upper room.
