“Anybody can become angry — that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way — that is not within everybody's power and is not easy.” 
― Aristotle

Hokage’s estate is… She doesn’t know what it is. She doesn’t even know what she’s been expecting, to be frank, because neither manga nor anime ever really covered the inner workings of the Narutoverse. A little bit of – painfully obviously – Japanese culture, a bit of laws, a bit of scenery, and that’s it. No actual inner workings of society, and civilians? Absolutely nothing about them. Nothing, zero, null. Not that she cared for non-ninja people, but it was annoying.

As to where who lived – that, too, had much too little content thus, when following Hokage to his house, Ren had a little idea as to what she will get. Traditional Japanese house on that funny, short terrace-like foundation? Or a villa like from wet American dreams? No idea whatsoever. Do they live alone, or with servants? Do they even do servants in this universe? Does he live alone, or does he live with his family? Will there be a four-years-old Konohamaru running on and about? Will there be Asuma, or is he still with Twelve Guardian Ninja?

Ren finds herself frustrated. It’s not also lack in social activities, laws and culture, but what about timeline? Kishimoto never cared about it – Kakashi became chunnin at age of six, and still took part in exams five years later with Team Minato. But then, Naruto timeline is painful thing, and almost impossible to make sense of without alterations, and she sincerely hopes that she will make sense of it now. This is real world now, and it’s highly doubtful that time and space machinations alike of those in media will occur.

Ren sighs and shakes her head, pretending to not to notice how Sasuke clings to her sleeve, lest he shakes him off. She doesn’t suppose it would to any good to the boy, since she has already decided that he doesn’t leave Leaf – not under her watch.

“Will there be someone watching over us? You will probably be busy, old man,” she asks as they turn into one of smaller streets. She’s long since stopped trying to keep track of where they exactly were, except for the obvious – in forest. Currently, that is. She always marveled as to how Leaf – big village with many residents, still managed to have about half of its area covered with trees. Not so much after Pain Shinra Tensei’ed it to the ground – yet another thing to prevent. She was here for how long? Five days, and most of it in hospital, but Leaf was pretty, and she preferred it to stay that way.

“Ah, yes,” Hokage smiles. “I assigned two ANBU to watch over you; Hound and Tiger. If anything happens, you can contact me through them.”

Ren almost choked on a snort, but managed to keep the outburst inside, with only her lips bending into a smirk. Hound, or rather, Hatake Kakashi, assigned to be two brats caretaker. He sure must be delighted in thought, but Tiger? Distantly, she realizes, Yamato alias Tenzo alias Kinoe wore something tiger-like. Then, the duo would make perfect sense – the two were strong, and, above all, actually were in ANBU squad with Itachi. Had he decided to return (which was unlikely, yet, she was here so canon was already partly ruined), they would be able to at least take her and Sasuke to safety.

“We don’t need caretakers,” Saskue mutters, puffing his cheeks.

“Oh but Sasu, darling!” Ren chirps. “Imagine all the possibilities for bothering not one, but two ANBU – Leaf’s very elite! I always wanted to see how far one needs to go to annoy one…”

“Not too far, brat, I assure you,” a new voice cuts in, and Ren’s head snaps in that direction. That’s… A lot of Kakashi in Kakashi, honestly. And the fact that he confronted them head-on, mask and all, means that they aren’t supposed to be watching Ren and Sasuke from shadows, but actually be there, had they need anything.

“Hey, ANBU-san, can you cook?” she asks, fluidly changing the topic. Kakashi – Hound – looks at her through the mask, surprised, and she completely ignores the very amused Hokage, and somewhat suspicious, yet amused, Sasuke.

“You will have someone to cook for you,” he answers after a while, but there’s something uncertain yet hopeful in his voice, and Ren bends her face into a pout, crossing her arms on her very flat chest. If she’s in a body of a kid, she might as well act as one – and, honestly, it’s been a long time since she had luxury to do so last time.

“But- But I wanted to see you in pink apron!” she bemoans. “It’s so unfair!”

There’s a sound that sounds oddly like choking, and something falls of a tree but apparently manages to either catch on a branch or land fluidly, since there’s no characteristic thump to be heard. Kakashi gives Hokage a look that means something in between help and what the hell and oh god why me, but old man just smiles at him, and Ren can actually feel Sasuke’s smugness behind her.

“That…” Kakashi says, visibly at the loss of words. Surely, it’s not something he’s been expecting; and, truth to be told, Ren wasn’t expecting to say it either. It just happened, but she was more glad than not that it did.

“Even if I ask nicely, ANBU-san?” she asks, cocking her head and morphing her face into the most innocent expression she can muster at the moment. And world be damned if Renee Archer wasn’t a good manipulator; she did, after all, learn from her mother and grandmother, and those two always got what they wanted.

“Ren, Sasuke, we’re almost there,” Hokage reminds them politely, saving Kakashi in the process, and the silver-haired man looks really relieved at that. Ren is willing to bet that he also regrets showing up to say hello. And… Well.

If in about six years from now Team 7 will make it their life goal to make his life harder than it should be? Ren might or might not have her own input in that.

(It’s not because she dislikes him; quite the opposite, actually. And, she loves seeing her favorite people suffer from embarrassment and antics of others.)

The house is quite big, really, and somehow in weird, nostalgic way reminds Ren o her childhood home, when world was brighter, her family nice and world didn’t seem to hate her almost at all. The days when Renee Archer was a happy child were long, long gone, and for Ren – she would graduate Academy soon, if what people said was to be trusted, and thus, she would become a shinobi (if she passed), thus becoming an adult according to law. But before that, she had about half a year to be a kid again. Whether she intended to use it or not… She would decide some other time.

But back to the house, it was Japanese alright - it was big, built like a wall to embrace the small yard with gigantic weeping willow in the middle of koi pond. But then, it also wasn’t exactly Japanese, even with the roof and specifically painted walls. The windows were normal, the door leading into the house – big, two-winged – were more suited for a modern European villa rather than Japanese estate.

The garden, however, surrounded by the house, was as Japanese as it could possibly get, if not more. There was said koi pond with weeping willow (Ren wasn’t the one to argue, her knowledge about Japanese flora ended with cherry blossoms, bamboo shoots and red maples) surrounded with stones and grass, and there were only small passages leading around it and into the house. There were some bamboo shots in the corner, few red maples scattered around, but no cherry blossom. Instead, there were flowers Ren couldn’t name, but they looked like a rainbow.

She felt like in a story or something.

…wait. She was in anime. Even if it was hardly explained how she got there, remembering this small detail would make understanding world easier. A bit.

“Do you like it here?” Hiruzen asks, smiling, and Sasuke nods his head shyly, only twice. Ren, however, smiles widely, spreading her hands.

“I’m gonna have a garden like this once I have enough money to keep it,” she decides, ruffling Sasuke’s hair, who only buries his face in her shirt to hide his face and its expression. “And you, squirt? Sure you can do better than nod.”

“I… I like it,” he admits weakly, but there is a gentle smile dancing on his lips. That’s good, Ren decides. Keeping him occupied from thinking about the massacre and Itachi is something she definitely can do.

And once she schemes Sasuke into befriending Naruto (or the other way around either works, really) she won’t be alone. And she doubts he’ll have much time to think and mop with the little hellion dragging him around. Honestly, she doesn’t even mind Sasuke growing up into a prankster, really. As long as she gets to keep his smile. (When did she become sentimental?)

“You will be staying in left wing,” Hiruzen says, “we have guest rooms there.”

“I want to sleep with Ren,” Sasuke promptly decides, “I don’t want nightmares to come,” he adds, lowering his head, and Ren sighs heavily, wrapping her arm around the boy in half-hug. He’s so short he can fit under her arm just fine, and Ren doesn’t really know if that’s correct height of an almost-eight-year-old or not compared to hers, but she isn’t going to ask.

“You can sleep with me,” she agrees, but doesn’t think to mention that she likes how Sasuke is basically a heater and she always liked warm when sleeping. “But you need your own covers, remember.”

“Okay!”

(This is good, she decides. Seeing Sasuke like this, a bit happier, a bit brighter, a bit better. And maybe, just maybe, she dislikes him a little (a lot) less, but there’s no way in hell she would ever admit such a thing.)

Hiruzen just smiles at them fondly, and Ren has hard time fighting an eye-roll, but somehow, she does.

“Don’t you have duties, old man?” she asks, cocking her eyebrow, and he tries to hide a nervous chuckle with a laugh, visibly not very fond of idea of returning to piles of paperwork on his desk. She can understand how it feels, really, paperwork was big part of her former life, too, but somehow she can’t muster any empathy to feel bad for the man, as she’s never been able to before.

“OLD MAAAAN!” something yells in even tinier voice, bursts through the door and barrels into Hiruzen, and old man actually almost trips over the bundle of yellow shirt and green scarf, and Ren doesn’t even bother fighting a snort, while Sasuke looks pretty much just flabbergasted. Konohamaru, all of three and barely even walking, honestly, latches onto his grandfather’s leg and doesn’t let go.

“And what is this little monkey supposed to be?” Ren can’t help but ask, crossing her hands on her chest, which most likely looks slightly comically, witch Sasuke still latched to her side. So, she just settles her elbow on the top of his head and decides to call it a day.

“I’m Konohamalu!” boy yells, but it sounds more like a shriek with his tiny voice, “and I’m goin’ to be next ‘okage!”

Yeah, right, Ren rolls her eyes. Good luck getting there with Tsunade, Kakashi and Naruto at hand. As far as I know, you end up as a sensei of your rival’s kids while he gets the hat, sunshine.

Of course, she doesn’t say any of this, but lets sheer amusement to flood her expression instead, and takes way too much pleasure in seeing the brat puff his cheeks like a Fugu fish.

“Who ale you?” Konohamaru demands, letting go of his grandfather’s leg and crossing his hands on his chest. It doesn’t look very serious, really, since he barely reaches to Sasuke’s belt, being three and all. Sasuke quite confused, frankly.

“I’m Ren, and my shadow is Sasuke,” she says. “We’ll be living here until I make genin this year.”

Konohamaru narrows his eyes, and then asks; “you don’t have youl home? Youl mom will be mad at you if you stay hele.”

Ren feels Sasuke clench his fists at her shirt, and she knows exactly what’s coming, and she isn’t fast enough to stop it-

“My mother is dead!” he yells so loud she winces. “So is my father, and everyone else! He killed them all, and we have nowhere to go! Our parents are dead, and we’ll never see them again, never hug them again, never… Never…”

Ren wraps her hands around the boy tightly, pressing him to her chest and gives Konohamaru the most ‘I’m so disappointed in you brat’ look she can possibly put on, and it’s very much like that, given the situation. The boy looks close to crying, but she doesn’t feel bad about him.

“You think you’re so smart? So great? So untouchable?” she growls. “All because you have parents, and your grandfather is the most important person in the village? Well, not everyone does!”

Why is she jumping at him for Sasuke, though, she doesn’t know.

“I wanted Konohamaru to show you around,” Hiruzen admits quietly. “I don’t think it will work now.”

“It won’t,” Ren growls, and hauls wailing Sasuke up, allowing him to wrap his legs around her, and she carries him into the house.

And if she smacks Konohmaaru on the head as she passes, well. If thirteen-year-olds, sometimes even much younger kids, are expected to be acting like adults, she can expect three-year-old to be at least smart.

(She doesn’t hear him sniff and cry, and see him latch onto Hiruzen for comfort. She doesn’t care, because she has Sasuke in her arms, kid who just lost his entire family one way or another, and she can’t occupy her mind with some kid who tried to be too smart for his own good.)

If only she could be smart, and not so emotional. That would help a lot.