Oh, goddess, I want to squeeze her. I want to embrace her. I want to fill her with ink until she’s bloated. I want to wrap my tentacles around her neck and bring her to the edge. I want to birth monsters from her…

Aah, it’s no good, Uzume already had me all worked up and now that I know what Mie is, I want to show her the true beauty of the abyss! Aah, I want to show her who I truly am, I want to hold her hand, I want to kiss, I want to –

bump

oh, right, kaiju.

“S-should I strip?” Mie asks, but I open my lips and drool a tiny little bit of ink onto my fingertips, and push my fingers into Mie’s lips. Aah, it feels so good to watch her suck my ink. To swallow it. Aah, she’s got such a needy look on her face, I want to eat her, but I need to protect the creatures of the deep, too!

“Not here,” I whisper. “Not until it’s safe. I’ll need to dispose of that unwelcome guest first.”

Yes. Not until Mie is safe. I need to keep her safe from those no-good magical girls who don’t understand her desires. Who can’t understand the beauty of monsters. Who don’t realize how much Mie needs this, from the very bottom of her soul.

Aah, she smells delicious. Can the kaiju smell that? Surely, if they could, it wasn’t all Mie chasing them down. Oh, sweet Mie, you sing to me. It’s so hard to not just take her right here, in front of everyone. It’s –

bump

okay fine. Ugh, so rude.

“Let me…mmh. Give you something to remember me by.” Aah, I let it squirm from me, and I hold up the tentacle in my hand, and Mie looks so excited, her face looks so hot, so fucked, I want to fuck her into the ground and fill her with tentacles until they come out her ears, and –

“Heh. I knew it. I knew that you were here the moment I cased up that whale kaiju! And you think you can just keep handing girls tentacles and get away with it?”

Oh.

Oh dear.

“If my friends were here, we’d all be ready to rock, but today it’s just me.” A tanned magical girl clad in golden armor, with short blonde hair…“On behalf of the rest of Rock Lobster, let’s make a toast to the damned! I’ll take you down right here and now, Maledicta!”

It’s one of the Rock Lobster! Thunder Rocket, whose fists will never forgive evil! W-why is she here?!

“We discovered what you did to Nabeshima Hikari of the Kagoshima University, you know. And here you are, stalking her little sister Shiori! Just like her, you’re brainwashing poor Uchikoshi Mie to spread your tentacles! Let go of her, that girl’s had enough without you fudging with her brain!”

W-what?! B-but the tentacle I left inside Hikari should’ve just melted when she was, um, ‘finished’ with it! A-and she’s been following me around this whole time because she thinks I did something to her?! What an absolute disaster!

“I’m not brainwashed!” Mie sticks her tongue out at Thunder Rocket in disgust. “I know the truth now! You magical girls are just interfering with the natural order of things!”

“Heh.” Thunder Rocket pounds her hands together. The Rock Lobster have an almost scandalous look, with armor pieces over shiny skin-tight undersuits and bare patches of skin. Aah, she looks so delicious, a lot like Uzume in fact! “That’s exactly what someone brainwashed by the ‘leaderess of evil’ would say. I admit I was pretty skeptical at first, Maledicta, but here you are. Committing acts of evil right before my eyes!”

“I-I was just here for a date,” I yell! “And this kaiju interrupted it!”

“Funny. I have a date to get back to too.” A-aah, how does she make these threatening sounds of thunder happen when she poses?! “So why don’t you let go of that innocent girl and fight me, mano a mano?”

“Y-you can’t have a battle here, Thunder Rocket!” I yell, muffling Mie with one of my tentacles to keep her from causing further trouble! (T-the moans she’s making suggests she likes it, at least!) “Think of all the oceanic creatures that will suffer from the damage! Think of the fish, the sharks, the coral, the crustaceans! The squids, Thunder! Won’t someone think of the squids!?”

“What, and let you have your way with Shiori like you are with Mie? Summoning a kaiju in an aquarium like this…I didn’t think much of you when I saw you in the news, but you’re playing dirty, aren’t you, ‘Akuma’?”

“I didn’t summon anything!” (Um, I think!) “I-I’m just trying to enjoy my date at the aquarium!”

“Who the fudge would want to date you? You’re the manifestation of all the world’s evils!”

“W-well, um. Nobody’s perfect?”

“Anyway. Doesn’t matter to me if you made this kaiju appear or not. Pray as I might for the lives of the innocent creatures of the sea…” With each punch of Thunder Rocket, the air crackles around her! “My fists and my life – both will never forgive evil!”

“T-that’s so rude! In that case, I, um…” Wait, I need a cool line! “I fight for the users!” Wait, no, that was that Daft Punk movie! “Um, I mean the squids! I fight for the squids!”

(“You tell 'em, my Queen!” I hear from Mie in my tentacles, and I quickly put her aside and tie her up with them so she’ll be…um, hopefully safe? S-she should enjoy it at least, I can already hear her muffled cries of pleasure…)

“Squids? I think that’s my line.” Thunder Rocket licks her lips, and the armor on her back separates away into funnels! Her armor is such a beautiful metallic gold, that can even reflect beams! “I’ll stop you and then the kaiju! Just be sure to make the first move. Take a good swing at me, and everything is even~”

Oh.

Oh, right.

I’m fighting Thunder Rocket of the Rock Lobster, who can fight Shin Godzilla-sized kaiju single-handedly…

this isn’t going to end very well for me, is it?