Stephanie and Andrew had driven for only an hour before the talk turned to her parents - and their inevitable reaction when they heard the news she and Andrew were dating.   I really don’t want to talk about this right now.  Stephanie thought, trying to concentrate on the highway traffic. But if I don’t say something, well both get in a bitchy mood and today will go right out the frigging window.  “How about we stop a bit at Timmy’s when we take a pitstop, and talk there?   The traffic is really shitty, okay?”

 

Andrew nodded.  It was a compromise he could live with - they were only 15 minutes away from Bowmanville anyway, and the traffic was pretty bad.  There were a lot of trucks on the road, and the road conditions were wet and sloppy – they’d had a light snow and instead of it disappearing like much of it, it instead turned to a thin layer of sloppy mush.   Steph had driven in much worse - but given how upset she could get when talking about her youth, it might be better that the car was parked when they discussed it.

 

They travelled in silence for a short while, and turned off the highway.  Tim Horton’s was packed - as usual - so they parked and sat a moment.  “You want to get your coffee and timbits now - or after we argue?”  Stephanie asked, only half joking. 

 

“After, if it’s all right with you, love.”  Andrew said. 

 

“Fine.  What did you want to talk about?”

 

“Well, for one thing, why the hell are you so worked up over your parents liking me or not.  I already know they think I’m just the boarder in your apartment - so I know they won’t approve.  Why are you making such a big deal about it?   Do you really care if they like me or not?”

 

“You’re not just a boarder, dammit!  You’re my boyfriend!   If they weren’t so damn oblivious, they’d have noticed something by now - that we’ve been best friends for 15 years, perhaps?   And for as why it’s a big deal, you know why!”  Stephanie was getting a bit red faced, obviously irritated or upset by the question.  “I want them to accept me for who I am, and part of that is realizing I’m going to have relationships - adult ones - with people I care about.  That it won’t be like last time - with Deedee.”

 

Andrew nodded, but was obviously not satisfied.  “That’s not good enough, Stephanie.  So you made a bad choice in the past - and it didn’t work out in the worst possible way - but why do you need to seek those assholes approval of me?  Why do you care?   I know they raised you - but you’ve almost written them out of your life for good reason!   They’re completely toxic, and they have been since your sister Susan died.”   Oh god, I’m going to have to tell her what they said, aren’t I?  Andrew thought.   The many times her parents had visited both before and after Stephanie began to transition had been quite illuminating for Andrew.  How he was practically invisible to them - after all, he was a failure on government disability, not a rich business executive.   How they thought Steph would grow out of this weird tranny phase and be normal again.   How much they wished their son Keith (now Stephanie) had died instead of Susan?   It was sick and depraved, and it made his stomach go to acid.  I hope to god I don’t have to bring that up.    

 

“I don’t know why!”  Steph shouted.  “I need someone’s approval - I need to know I did something right, that I didn’t cause all the shit that happened in my life.  I hate them, and I can’t let go of them... it’s like an anchor weighing me down, Andrew.  That fucking letter - sounding so sweet and worried - and then followed by decades of what happened after!  It’s so two faced it makes me ill.   You know how once Susan was born they ignored me - how she became the golden child and I was thrust aside?  It hurt - it hurt a lot.  I thought maybe I upset them - that maybe it was my fault.   No... it was just I wasn’t their real kid - just some frigging waif dropped on their doorstep.  I don’t even know my real Dads last name.”

 

“It’s not healthy, Steph.”  Andrew argued.  “If you hate them, and they don’t love you, why do you go through this charade?  Why do you care?   It’s not like we can magically change them or their attitudes...  What happens when we go, and they say something stupid, and you get even more upset?”

 

“More upset than now?  I guess only 911 will know, dammit.”  Steph growled.  “Seriously - I can’t put it aside.  I remembered when I was young they loved me - they spent time with me.  And everything changed when I turned five...  Susan was born and it was like a switch turned off inside them, and they just started going through the motions instead of meaning it.  It’s not Susan’s fault - she was my sister, and I loved her - but man did it hurt at times seeing her get everything and me get nothing.   Who got horseback riding lessons?  Sue.  Trips to other countries?  Sue.   Played on Sports teams?  Sue.   And you know what - although I resented all the attention she got, I never resented her.  Did you know she was embarrassed by it too?  She turned down a trip to Aruba for her first year of college, because she knows how much it pissed me off that they didn’t even consider sending me to college, let alone buying me a ticket to go with her.  And while she was doing all the fun stuff - I was doing scut work at home.  Or being locked in my room.  Or tied to my damn bed.  Or just plain ignored.”

 

Andrew scowled.  That was another thing that pissed him off - how she could so casually dismiss abuse like that.  From what she said to him a few years ago, it wasn’t uncommon for Keith’s parents to lock him in his bedroom for hours at a time, with nothing other than a small television set, and some of his books and toys.  Keith grew up antisocial because of it - never having friends at all, save his sister when she had time for him - and not really understanding people.   And the bed thing, fuck that pissed him off!  His parents Jan and Phil tied Keith to the bed, from the moment when he went to bed, to the moment they woke up - so tight he couldn’t move, get up, or get out of bed.  ‘To keep him safe’ was their excuse.   Of course, when Keith developed a bed wetting problem, they sent him to a shrink and put him on pills - instead of realizing he was only wetting the damn bed because he couldn’t get up to go the bathroom.   “Goddamn idiots.”  he muttered.   “You know, you could have died if there was a fire, when you were tied to your bed, right?”

 

“I know.  I figured they didn’t care.”  Steph hugged herself, tears falling across her face.  Her mascara was messed and running.   “I just need to go to see if they can change - even a little bit.  I need to know if they can accept this.”  She said, motioning to herself, and to Andrew.   “I need to know the last 40 years of my life meant something to them.   I don’t think they do.  I don’t think they do.”  

 

Andrew leaned over and gave her a hug - a hug that said ‘I care. I love you.’   She held him back for a while, as he stroked her long brown hair.  “You’re going a bit silver, love.”  He said.  “It’s nice.”

 

“Really,” Stephanie sniffed.  “I was planning on dyeing it.  I don’t want to be old.”

 

“Me either, but it looks okay.  So is this visit really it - all or nothing, the last straw?”  Andrew didn’t really believe it was - Steph often ranted, but didn’t take action.  It was like the act of her ranting blew off enough steam for her to put off the problem away to another day.  He wasn’t sure it was a healthy thing to do, but it was the way she did things.  

 

“Yeah.”  She said.  “I think it has to be.  If they can’t accept you and me, then I’m done.  I’m done with them, and I’ll never look back.  I can’t keep revisiting this - but I need to know just this once.”

 

“Okay, love.   Let’s go see them then.  Just try not to get your hopes up, okay?  It can be pretty hard for a leopard to change his spots.”  Andrew brushed some hair out of Stephanie’s face.  “You might want to redo your makeup while I get my coffee and donuts.   You look like a melting racoon.”

 

“Yeah, great.”  She smiled.  “I guess I could always go like this?  Maybe mom would be so busy lecturing me on my appearance, she wouldn’t notice me introducing you as my boyfriend?”

 

“Riiiiiight.  Keep dreaming, love.”

 

They got out of the car, and went inside.

 

*              *              *

 

 

Meanwhile, a very special, very tired raven was flying overhead, and spied the deep purple Hyundai Elantra.  “Finally.”  He said.  “About friggin time.”  He banked to one side, and flew down to the car, landing on the hood.   “I hope they get something with sprinkles.”  The raven said, sitting down to wait.  

 

*              *              *

 

Stephanie wiped away the tears and the runny mascara in the washroom.  It was busy as usual - and a few people were giving her odd looks...  The odd looks that said she didn’t quite pass as a woman, and might never pass, but that they wouldn’t make a fuss of it.   It frustrated her to no end.   I wish I’d known what I was earlier.  I wish I could change what testosterone has done to me, but I can’t.   I can’t afford facial surgery, and god knows my mom and dad would never spring for it.   Dammit.   During her musing, she reapplied her foundation and blusher, and redid her eye makeup.   At least she looked presentable.   She was wearing a grey woolen skirt with a blazer, and a white blouse with a red sash, along with some jewellery that Andrew had bought her.  She had nothing of her own - and she refused to wear Deedee’s jewellery.   Oh god, what a mistake Deedee was, she thought.  I should have left her years ago - definitely when she started hitting me - but I held on, thinking I could change her.  What a fucking mistake that was.  I’m glad she’s gone.  I swear if mom or dad compare Andrew to Deedee I’ll fucking lose it, right there.

 

She gave herself a once over - and was satisfied enough to put away her travel makeup.  Better go see what the big guy is up to, she thought.   I hope he took a bathroom break – there’s no stops between here and St. Catherines.   Stephanie expected tonight to go poorly - but she still held out hope that it might go okay... just not enough hope to avoid booking a hotel for when the worst happened.  There’s no way in hell she was spending the night at her parents’ home.  

 

Leaving the bathroom, she found Andrew outside, looking at a large black bird on the hood of her car.  He was holding a coffee, a bottle of pop for her, and a small box of timbits.   Exiting the building, she called out.  “Hey Andrew, what’s with the bird?”

 

“I’m not sure, sweetie.  It’s a big raven - and it’s on the hood, and it won’t fly away.”  Andrew replied.

 

It surprised them both when the raven turned to both of them and said “I can’t leave till I talk to her, doofus.”   He hopped up to the front of the car, and bowed with one wing swept before him.  “Names Jurin, Raven 3rd class, at your service, ma’am.”

 

Stephanie stared a moment, surprised.  “I guess it’s no weirder than sprites in a leather pouch.”  She said, kind of to herself more than to Andrew.  “Sure, let’s talk.  Shall we go in the car?”

 

“Up to you.”  Jurin said.  “I won’t do anything bad, so it’s okay with me.”

 

Andrew nodded.  His tolerance for weirdness was growing daily, just as he expected Stephanie’s was.   Pretty soon stuff like this would be de rigour.  How weird was that?   He got in the car, and waited for Steph and Jurin to get inside.

 

“So what’s a raven doing here - are you related to Hugin and Munin?”  Stephanie asked.

 

“I wish.  Those guys have it hella easy.”  Griped Jurin.  “Sitting on the All-fathers shoulder all day, rolling in treats and chow, bossing the rest of us around.  Not slugging it out carrying messages all over the frigging world and overworld.   Seriously.”  

 

Stephanie smirked.  It seemed rank hath its privileges even in magical worlds too.  “Well I’m sorry to make you come all the way out here.  What is it you had to tell me?”

 

“Well, your mom sent me with something for you.  I got it right here somewhere...”  Jurin stuck his beak under his wing, and somehow produced a steel necklace with a pair of dog tags on it.  The name and info was written in Norse runes, so Stephanie couldn’t read it.  “This is for you.  It’ll let you summon a guide and protector.  His name is Bili.”

 

 

“Billy?”  Steph asked.

 

“Close enough.”  Said Jurin.  “Oh - he can be a bit of a handful, so don’t be afraid to slap him down, kay?   Sif thinks he might be a good fit for you... hell if I know why.”

 

“What about mom?”  Stephanie asked.  “Why did it take so long for you to come and meet me?”

 

“Well, it’s like this.”  Jurin said.  “I had to fly here from another FRIGGING dimension, and by the time I got to your home town, you’d hit the road.  Did you know Peterborough has four different Stewart Streets?   Seriously - who the hell failed city planning on that one.  I nearly dropped off your necklace at a drug lab and an alcoholics place across town, until I realized someone got the address wrong.”  Jurin took a breath.  “Then, by the time I found your place, you’d moved out and left town - so I chased your damn car from Peterborough all the way here.  I’m pooped - but I’m sorry you had to wait on me.”

 

“Damn.”  Said Andrew.  “Want a timbit?”

 

“Does the pope wear a funny hat?”  Jurin quipped.  “Yeah, if there’s one with sprinkles.”

 

“You like donuts?”  Stephanie asked.

 

“Eh... they’re okay.  I prefer eyeballs, but most people don’t keep them around anymore.  Not like battlefields in the old days.  Those were some good eats.”

 

Steph grimaced at the thought of ravens pecking the eyes of the dead on a battlefield.  “I suppose it make sense - but it still hits my squick factor.   I’ll try to keep a few in a cooler for next time, okay?”

 

“Hey that’s nice of you.  Thanks.”  Jurin replied.  “Oh – there’s one other thing.  Bili can teach you a lot of stuff - but he can be a bit reckless.  If he gets himself killed, you can bring him back by offering him food and drink.  If he says anything else, he’s lying, kay?   He’s a bit of a joker.”

 

“Uh... thanks Jurin.”

 

“De nada.  Welp, I’d better get going.  A raven’s job is never done, you know.  There’s a guy in Minnesota I gotta go see later.  I hope the weather is good.”   Jurin flew out of the car, and landed on Steph’s side mirror.  “I heard you got it tough, kid.  Just remember your mom Sif really does love you...  She just wants to make sure she’s not making a mistake first.  I think you’ll do her proud.”

 

Steph looked surprised, and muttered “Thanks.” as Jurin flew off.  “Well that was weird.”

 

“Tell me about it.  You feeling any better?”  Andrew asked, squeezing her hand.

 

“Yeah a bit.  I guess I needed to get that venom off my chest... again.  Just don’t let me chicken out at mom and dad’s okay - this has to be it.”

 

“You got it, sweetie.  What about the necklace?”

 

“I guess it’ll have to wait for later.  I’ll see what Billy’s like at the hotel when you bring out your wood sprites.”

 

“Okay, hon.”

 

*              *              *

 

The rest of the drive was fairly uneventful, and they reached St. Catherines without further delay - although none of the timbits survived the journey.   Jurin had polished off one, and Stephanie perhaps six - the rest Andrew finished.   They drove up the nice suburban road, with the rows of expensive houses until they found the right one - Split level Bungalow with two new Lexus in the driveway.  Fancy Christmas lights all over the place, and everything picture perfect.   Of course, Steph’s parents didn’t do any of that work - they had people to do it for them.

 

As they parked and got out of the car, Andrew grabbed a bag from the back seat - a bottle of wine, and some nice cheeses Stephanie had picked out for the occasion.  Steph’s mom Janice came to the door.  She was dressed in a Christmas sweater, and her short greyish brown hair was swept out of her face, showing a stern face with a pinched, disapproving expression.   Oh hell, he thought.  It’s starting already.  Great timing, Jan.   The two of them went inside.