“It’s not common for a human to speak with a demon.”
“I’m hardly common.”
“So I see. Surely you’ve heard the tales of how dangerous and scary we demons are?”
“I’ve heard them, yet I’ve witnessed how dangerous and scary humans are. It hasn’t even been a week since the last time someone tried to kill me.”
“... I suppose I had heard that humans were terrible... I really don’t know what to do with you. Normally when I show myself, humans either flee or attack. You’re the first to just say ‘hello’.”
“If you want me to do something, you could try asking.”
“Where would the fun be in that?”
“Novelty?”
“I suppose you’re right, that would be novel. Still, it’s a boring way to solve a problem if I just ask you and you do it.”
“What is the problem?”
“Well, this is my territory you’ve entered.”
“Do you want me to leave?”
“I did, but I’ve begun to second guess myself on that. You are a very strange human.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“I suppose it is, given what I consider normal. I did kill 42 humans over the past week.”
“That’s it? I killed 69 just yesterday in a giant brawl over a valuable artifact.”
“... y’know, I’m trying to be intimidating.”
“Maybe you should try boasting about who your father is or something. That’s what humans seem to do a lot.”
“Do you feel intimidated by that?”
“No.”
“Then obviously that wouldn’t work. I’m not trying to intimidate some random human.”
***Author Note***
Just a random thought. Demons are so often treated as evil, yet stories often have so many evil humans in them, that I thought it'd be funny if a demon could not convince someone that they were more evil than humans are.
If you read some stories involving the devil in Europe, One can reach the conclusion that the devil is a honest hard-worker and humans and saints are tricksters that by all means trick the devil to work for them and then found a method to avoid paying the poor devil, I'm no jocking, the are a lot of histories that involves the devil making a pact to build a bridge in exchange for a soul, and then the humans sabotaging the devil so he can't end the bridge (sanctifying the last stone so the devil can't tough is one of those methods) or at the moment of the payment finding a loophole so they don't give a soul to the devil (making a cat cross the bridge first, because the devil will collect the soul of the first individual to cross the bridge)
no No NO! I saw you go for a long time without using the evil popcorn Emoji hoping that you wouldn't return to the corruption. Now I must take drastic measures to ensure you never again fall to corruption and show you the holiness of the cookies
! BY THE HOLY POWER OF COOKIES GRANT ME THE POWER TO CLEANSE THIS ONE'S SINS AND TURN THEM TO THE LIGHT WITH TELEPATHY(it attempts to change your brain patterns to use cookies instead of popcorn) !
@sereminar ... i was not expecting that response.