1: Summoned

I had just gotten out of the shower when a bright light appeared beneath me. Next thing I knew, I was standing in what looked like a throne room surrounded by people! I hastily tried to cover myself, but… something was weird.

Uh… this is a notification? Like in a video game? What’s going on? Why did everyone faint or turn into a gibbering mess? Well, except for that one who fled screaming. I know I’m not a beauty, but isn’t this an exaggerated response? I do hope that insanity isn’t permanent.

I tried to take a look at myself. Yeah, tried. For some reason, I can’t see myself? I try to put my hand in front of my face… okay, I see a bunch of tentacles. Except they kinda seem to vanish as they get closer to where my body should be. Reminds me of video games when limbs are just a hand. Doesn’t really explain what happened.

Maybe I can find a mirror? … wait, 

“Status” Oooh, that sounds weird. Felt weird too. Like my mouth didn’t work right. I could sorta tell what I said, but it came out really weird, like massively distorted. My voice didn’t sound human at all. What happened to my lovely soprano voice? Okay, my friends said I sounded more like a muppet than a real person, but that’s not the point. My voice went from a clear high pitch to something more like an electronic warble! … actually this sounds kinda cool, wish I could make recordings. Not good for speaking though.

That status box just makes me think: What? 

2: Mirror

After some wandering, I found a mirror. There may be a few more sleeping beauties outside, but that’s just the price of being seen it seems, and now I have a better understanding of why.

Looking at my reflection gives me a headache. I look like a tentacle monster drawn by Escher. Which makes my ability to walk around and interact with objects without any difficulty all the stranger. I can open my mouth, and stick out my tongue and … oh my, that can go really far… Can I lick myself down … yes… 

Anyway, back to the way I look… limbs don’t work that way, and yet, somehow, it does. It’s like what I feel doesn’t match what I see, and trying to make sense of it just confuses me. My mouth doesn’t really look like a mouth, and my other parts… well, I can’t tell if they exist at all from the mirror. 

It feels like I still have all my parts. If I don’t think too much on it, it feels like I’m still the petite woman I remember being. Yet, my body seems to be made of tentacles that move and bend in ways that shouldn’t be physically possible. It’s like, if just try to do something, it happens, and it feels like I did what I tried to do, except when I pay attention, I realize how I actually did it isn’t at all how it felt. I try not to think too much about it, focusing on the details just gets confusing.

On the plus side, when I went looking for clothes, I found I could wear clothing normally. At least it felt normal, and when looking in the mirror, everything that was clothed, looked as it should. Even had curves in all the right places. 

I got distracted. Tried on lots of pretty dresses I found in a room. When I realized I was wasting time, and tried to find something more practical, I found the doorway was filled with unconscious bodies. Oops. I suppose there were notifications, I just wasn’t paying them any mind.

*sigh* I need something that covers my entire body, and doesn’t look too out of place… I really like those dresses though. I ended up grabbing the plainest dress of the set I’d tried on, and then grabbed a few more, along with a cloak, and boots and … when I was done, I was fully covered even wearing gloves, except for my face, which I had to hide inside the cloak’s hood. 

I’d also packed a few extra sets of clothes inside… uh… me? I grabbed them, but I don’t remember putting them anywhere. I’m just kinda still holding them, but it’s completely impossible to tell, and I’m holding it all underneath the clothes I’m wearing. I tried taking a dress out experimentally while watching myself in the mirror. It just kinda came out from under my hood… I put it back. That was weird to watch. I swear this body makes no sense.

At least the weirdness lets me fit clothes made for someone bigger than my old body. Now I’m taller and have real curves! I just need to be careful no one sees what’s hidden under the clothing. I think I could pass as a noble lady trying to go incognito now. 

3: Adventure!

Seeing the doorway clogged with bodies, I started carefully moving them out of the way so I could leave. They were surprisingly light… or maybe I’m a lot stronger than I used to be. It’s not like I’ve tested that yet.

“Halt!”

Oooh, there’s guards not falling unconscious now! Well, I put my hood back and their eyes quickly rolled up. I don’t really want to go along with guards right now. I just don’t trust them. I mean: Summoning people from other worlds to solve your problems? Not exactly a method I’d consider the sign of a good people. Especially when I didn’t have any choice in the matter. I just got abducted from my bathroom! Didn’t even get to put clothes on first!

With my hood down, getting out of the castle was pretty easy. No one tried to stop me. They’d just faint after seeing me. Was a little annoying, knowing my face was capable of this. At least they don’t turn to stone. That’d be much more worrying. A bit of a nap shouldn’t cause any long term issues, I hope.

Once I was out of the castle, I found a nice abandoned alley to put my hood up, and walked into town like I knew what I was doing. Hopefully the random people who saw me before I put my hood up won’t remember what I was wearing. I don’t want to deal with unpleasant questioning and accusations when I haven’t even done anything! … okay, I suppose I did send a bunch of people to the land of dreams, but they should all be fine, and it’s not like I had a lot of other options. 

So, seeing as I’ve been summoned to what seems like a fantasy world with swords and sorcery, the obvious thing is to go looking for an adventurer’s guild. That’s the common trope, isn’t it?

“Welcome to the guild, how can I help you?” Such a gracious receptionist! Cute cat ears too!

“What are the requirements to become an adventurer?” I tried to ask.

*clatter* Oh dear, they dropped the tray of food, and drinks. I’m sorry. I guess speaking isn’t really a good idea.

“I’m sorry, did you say something?”

At least the receptionist recovered quickly. I’m feeling a little too disappointed to try again though. I just shake my head and wander off.

4: Wandering

I ended up wandering aimlessly for a while. This whole situation confused me. I’d somehow become a sanity breaking horror who’s very existence defied the natural laws. Possibly the supernatural ones as well if this was a setting with such powers.

How I ended up here remains unknown. Why I ended up here remains unknown. Whatever the king or others there wished to tell me, I never got a chance to hear, and after what happened when I appeared, I don’t think I want to see them again. 

If I am what they were trying to summon, then they are woefully unprepared. If I am not, then something went wrong. If I simply appeared through an act of god, then that god must not like them, and I doubt they’d be friendly to me. If it was mere random chance, then they’d probably just consider me a monster to be slain.

“Hey, what’s this? A lady get lost? C’mon, lets take a look at ya.” 

Oh, I suppose this was the cliche thugs trying to cause trouble? Removing my hood to get a better look at my face was a bad idea sirs. I put my hood back up.

After some more wandering I found something I didn’t expect. Perhaps I should’ve though. It’s a staple of so many stories, despite being so awful. I found a slave market. There really isn’t a lot I can do for them. This world has magic contracts, and such things are readily used for enslavement. Magically enforced contracts may sound like a good idea, except if there’s no rules on it, then all sorts of horrid contracts can be made. 

I can’t end the contract unless I convince the store keeper to transfer ownership, and I listened to his explanations long enough to realize there’s a problem. Contracts are signed with blood. 

Upon testing the needle they have for people who didn’t bring anything with them, I found I don’t bleed properly. Sure a bit of black something comes out, but it’s not red blood like it should be, and it looks sorta like a black sand instead of a liquid, and it’s moving. Are those... legs? I bleed spiders, tiny spiders, and they are crawling all over the table now. Yeah, no signing contracts in blood for me.

I really don’t get this. I’ve been brought into this world, but for what purpose? I can hardly do anything. I can’t be an adventurer, I can’t even free slaves, or buy them, so no harem. I can’t talk to people. Unless I want to go on a murderous rampage (ew, no) there’s hardly anything I can do.

Eventually, I found myself wandering down a road outside of town. While I may be frustrated at how little I can do, at least there seems to be nothing I need to do. I don’t get hungry, I don’t get tired, and I can see as well at night as during the day. Maybe I should just take this as an opportunity to go sightseeing. There’s bound to be lots of interesting things to see in this world.

Oh, but I might need to be able to communicate if I want to learn where all the interesting things are. *sigh*

Meanwhile, back in the castle…

King: “Oh no, the gods are after me! They sent an abomination to kill me! To destroy all I’ve worked for! I can’t let this happen, I can’t let this happen, I can’t let this happen! Steve! Hunt down this abomination and slay it! We can’t let this thing destroy our country!”

What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? How do I appease the gods? Why are they even angry in the first place? Is it the taxes? I’ll lower the taxes. Is it the war? I can’t just end a war! … I know! If I am not the king anymore, I can’t fail the gods! Then I won’t be hunted by things that shouldn’t exist!

Head Knight Steve: “Sir, yes sir!”

Uh… yeah, I’ll get right on that. I’ll just carefully check every bar, and taste test every kind of ale or wine they’ve got for taint. Then in my great wisdom and determination to never fail, I’ll not come back until I’ve found and slain the hallucination. There’s no way something like that could actually exist right?

Head Mage: “I think it’s time I retired… somewhere very far away from here. Very far.”

Suddenly, my interest in studying forbidden magics seems to have vanished. After seeing that… thing, I find myself completely unmotivated to look outside the known realms now. Maybe I should take up painting.

*** Author Note ***

This is something I started writing that I don't think I'll ever finish.