ERIN SWANN
ST MARY’S HOSPITAL – CARDIO WARD

It had taken almost a week for me to get everything put into place, a week of nothing but stress and running about like a blue arsed fly. Chris had only came back from his birthday week in San Fransisco yesterday, crashing at the hotel airport and then coming into work later that day due a staff shortage. From the moment he landed however, I was already prepped and ready to go, all I could think about was what we’d set up at Torchwood.

            Ianto had detailed an entire workplan of sorts, once the news had spread to the team and Owen was well enough to come back to work, he’d been right on it. I was on desk duty unless absolutely necessary, anything to do with rogue alien fights or chases I was to go nowhere near. Owen had gotten all my pregnancy vitamins set up and had made an appointment for me at St Mary’s, with one hand, since his other one had been mauled. I had threatened to hit him but didn’t want him to be without use of his arms entirely. Tosh had designed a panic button for me in the shape of a metal chained bracelet, for just in case, she’d said. She’d also put another firewall and hidden a lot of my records from UNIT and other branches of Torchwood, since everyone was a fan of keeping this pregnancy a secret. I was pregnant and I was not ready for the enemies of Torchwood and the Doctor to use it to get what they want.

            I’d spent most of the week at work covering up any part of my life, deleting any sort of records and photos that included me, even some personal ones that I knew only physical copies remained at Jackie’s old flat. I made sure that no trace of me could be found, not unless you had Torchwood clearance and even then, you had to have Jack’s clearance. I was going to hide my life from the world, I was going to hide my name, my family and my child if it meant keeping them safe. I would do anything to keep them safe. I’d spoken to Ianto, told him about the purging, how I wouldn’t have if I knew I’d of been hurting the baby. Guilt ran through me like a disease on the UNIT base, the amount of times I’d stuck my fingers down my throat almost broke me into tears. Ianto and I agreed though, if I was struggling I’d talk to him. Day or night, rain or shine.

            Ianto was also on-top of me like a mother hen, not that I minded much since I appreciated the company. When it came to meal, vitamin, water or exercise time he was there. I admit, up and leaving Mia and Ross at the UNIT base with no context wasn’t fair, but after a detailed text to Mia and a long phone call with Ross, they more than understood. I’d also invited them to the wedding, since honestly, they were great people and I wanted to get to know them a little more, I wanted them to be more than work colleagues. I was a little nervous for Ross to see me out of work mode, especially since I’d invited him to Chris’ stag doo, that his friend Dominic was organising and Mia to the hen, that Tosh was organising.

            It was through all this chaos however, that I’d come to terms with the fact that this baby was a good idea.

A baby was pure, a clean slate and someone who I was in charge of protecting from the world. Chris always wanted children, we just never thought it would be this soon. It’s why I’d gotten his best friend Dominic involved in this little game, since I knew Chris wouldn’t be expecting me to show up as a patient. Would it freak him out? yeah but it would be worth it.

‘Chris!’ I heard Dominic yell from behind the curtain. ‘I need a consult for bed eight!’

‘I just wanted to sit and have a coffee Dom, two minutes max—’

‘Oh you’ll get your coffee in a minute.’ Dominic groaned.

            I shifted on the hospital bed, tugging at the bottom of my top as I heard a pair of footsteps from the other side of the curtain, smack against the hard laminate floor. I’d made sure to wear a slightly smaller top, that emphasised the bump a little so that Chris could see that I obviously wasn’t there for anything heart related.

            I mean I didn’t think anything was wrong with my heart, it jumps out of my chests and pumps enough to keep me alive. I was in better spirits than the UNIT base last week and I could help the smile on my lips as Chris tore back the curtain, coffee cup in hand.

            ‘So what seems to be – Erin?’ He stuttered. ‘When did you come in? You didn’t tell me you were here.’

            ‘I admitted her.’ Dominic told him, handing him my file. ‘Take a look.’

            ‘And you didn’t tell me?’ Chris nearly yelled, his eyes nearly bulging out of his head as he frantically flicked through the folder. ‘My wife is on a heart ward and you thought – you know what I’m not gonna call her husband because that would only make sense! She’s doesn’t have a history of heart issues this could be something serious!’

            ‘Again with your bed side manner Dr Halliwell, you’re scaring the patient.’ Dom joked before turning to me, clearly trying not to roll his eyes. ‘Why don’t you list your symptoms?’

            He didn’t flinch when Chris yelled at him, he didn’t even seem bothered at the anger brewing on his brow, perhaps because he knew what was coming next.

            ‘Sure, um well I’ve been throwing up nearly every morning, had quite a lot of acid reflux.’ I started as Dominic smirked, stepping away quietly.  ‘Had a lot of back pain, some weird cravings.’

            Yeah…we weren’t going to talk about the sea salt crisps and Reese’s Pieces chocolate spread.

            Chris threw down the file on the bed, grabbing for his stethoscope and pulling me gently forward to sit, pressing the cold instrument to my back. Although, it was clear he wasn’t listening to a word I said so I tried again.

            ‘I’ve also gained some weight.’

            ‘That’s not really concerning right now, you’re on a cardio ward Erin.’ Chris said pointedly. ‘You’re on a cardio ward, my ward and you didn’t think to call me when Dom admitted you? I can’t believe you didn’t say anything, I’ve been sitting twelve feet away from you all day – I don’t question how you do your job and I respect that, when you tell me to stay away from your work because of the danger I do because I respect that, the least you could do is respect that I’m a doctor and if you’re on my ward, you tell me!’

            ‘How can you hear my heart properly if you’re yelling at me?’ I asked.

            ‘Erin.’

            ‘Maybe if you checked the HCG levels, you might get a clue as to what’s going on?’ I suggested, holding the file in my hand, trying everything I could to keep the smile off my face.

            He was angry with me but I had a feeling he wouldn’t be for long.

            ‘I’m the doctor here I think…why would say to check that?’ He froze, slowly taking off his stethoscope. ‘How do you even know what HCG levels are?’

            I didn’t say anything, just held out my file which he took carefully, flicking to the first page where I’d made sure to staple the most recent blood and urine work.

            ‘But this…’ Chris trailed off, almost in disbelief. ‘This means – you’re pregnant?’

            ‘Yeah.’ I whispered, nodding. ‘And I don’t have any heart issues so we’re clear this whole thing was just…ya know, a bit of fun.’

            A grin broke out as Chris’ eyes scanned the paperwork again, then flickered down to my stomach.

            ‘Oh yes!’ Chris yelled, grabbing me from the bed, spinning me around, his arms cradling my back. ‘Yes! I’m gonna be a dad!’

            I couldn’t help it, I laughed along with him, laughed in pure glee as whoops and cheers sounded from the nurses station. I pulled away for a second to see a group of nurses and doctors standing there, some with flowers, some with cards and even some with chocolates.

            ‘How far along?’ He asked excitedly.

            ‘Just about four months, nearly anyway, but I only found out a week ago.’

            ‘Four months but that – you got shot— the hospital.’

            ‘Shrapnel, believe me I’ve had the works when it comes to this baby, so the bullet pellets and any trauma from the lack of oxygen didn’t touch the baby.’ I told him, cupping his face. ‘The baby is safe and sound in there, I’m also on desk duty for the foreseeable future.’

            I lifted my wrist to show him the chained bracelet.

            ‘This is also a panic button, should I need it, Tosh made it.’ I told him. ‘But we can go through all the technicalities later, why don’t we just enjoy the moment for now?’

            ‘I’m going to be a dad.’ He gushed, looking down at my stomach for a second time. ‘Thank you.’

            ‘For what?’ I laughed.

            ‘You’re making another human being in there.’ He stated.

            ‘Well yeah but I didn’t exactly hit a button and put all the ingredients together, I mean I don’t know how to make an eyeball, that’s actually a question I had, how on earth do I make an eyeball in the womb? Like how? Physically, how? Cause it doesn’t make sense. Tastebuds – I grow them for the kid, how do I make tastebuds.’ I asked looking down at my stomach.

            Seriously though, how did I make tastebuds?

            Chris chuckled, shaking his head, pulling me into a tight hug and kissing my hair.

            ‘You’re amazing, you know that?’ He asked.

            ‘Well I try.’ I teased, swaying a little in his hold. ‘Now um, you may want to go to your fabulous medical team over there because they’re dying to give you the card.’

            ‘I can’t believe you colluded with them.’ Chris pulled back, hands on his hips.

            ‘Well someone had to draw my blood and take my pee, Dominic and I have become that much closer because of it I think.’ I joked. ‘I mean, he had my pee, that’s personal.’