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just wanted to let you all know that there is a playlist to go along with this fic so you can listen to music while you read!
Link here! 
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7fcLvho6BFJacePSO7xVlI?si=17b442c95df143fb

As always comments and constructive criticism is always welcomed, I love hearing what you think about Erin and the rest of the characters! 

R E V E N G E  O F  T H E  S L I T H E E N 

 

‘Okay list your symptoms.’

            ‘Chris I’m not dying and this isn’t a doctor’s appointment.’

            ‘Obviously, I don’t give outstanding medical advice with a kitchen apron on.’ Chris stated as if it were obvious, putting down the spatula and moving the pot of the stove.  

            ‘All I’m saying is I’m fine, I’m not dying, the GP’s surgery is busy enough-’

            ‘Erin.’

            ‘Okay fine,’ I caved knowing he wasn’t going to give this up. ‘Over the last year I’ve missed quite a lot of periods, I’ll have them for two months then not for the next three and the one random one and then not for a while but I’m not complaining cause I don’t have to deal with the bleeding, still get a few cramps though not as often as before this whole thing which is heavenly honestly, then there’s the whole puking if the toothbrush goes near the back of my mouth and the dry cough which makes me puke cause I cough so much…but that can all be explained away without a doctor telling me that.’

            Chris popped a hand on his hip.

            ‘Oh yeah and how exactly do you know that?’ He asked. ‘You studied film not anatomy.’

            ‘Because I know my body, the period thing was probably due to stress, the dry cough due to not drinking enough water and the gag reflex, well let’s be honest I’ve always had a terrible one.’ I laughed waving him off.

            I was rubbish at blow jobs but I found this thing where if I wiggled my toes it made it bearable. Although it was hard to wiggle your toes and give a blow job at the same time. That’s why Chris didn’t get them that often.

            ‘Okay, if I let go of the last two things which sure, could be passed off but missing your period for that long isn’t healthy.’ Chris told me. ‘Your body is telling you something is up, I’m gonna call Moira, see if she can squeeze you in today.’

            ‘Chris no it’s just stress.’

            ‘And when you get a doctorate from university maybe I’ll consider your medical diagnosis but until then I’m the doctor in this relationship and I’m telling you not bleeding isn’t normal.’ Chris said already with his phone in hand.

            ‘Chris it’s just from the stress at work.’ I tried but it was no use as his fingers flew across his keyboard, the bacon still sizzling in the cooling pan.

            ‘If you’ve been missing it consistently then we need to get it checked out in case anything is wrong down there.’ Chris said tenderly. ‘We need to make sure you’re healthy.’

            ‘I am healthy.’

            ‘You were ready to erase yourself from my memory to keep me safe, let me be a concerned doctor for five minutes.’ He said looking up from the phone.

            ‘Okay…that’s fair.’ I admitted, reaching for the pan and putting it back on the stove. ‘How’s your family, you’ve been avoiding talking about them for nearly two days now?’

            ‘They’re fine, I heard from mom that Wyatt doesn’t remember anything and he’s not said anything about work, he thinks he had a great holiday here.’ Chris said bitterly, not even looking up from his phone. ‘They’re all in agreement to keep this a secret if that’s what you’re asking.’

            ‘No I know they are, I just didn’t know how things were going…are they okay? I mean it was quite stressful.’

            ‘I’m more worried about your uterus right now baby.’ Chris said, his arm slipping around my waist as he kissed my cheek.

            I wasn’t worried about my uterus, I mean I wasn’t exactly planning on having kids anytime soon so I was more than happy to leave it to do it’s own thing. Music from the radio blared in the background as I plated up breakfast that Chris forced me to have. We both had a day off today, since I’d yelled at Jack again last night about how his rules had ruined my life.

            That A in advanced Higher drama was really paying off.

            Of course that wasn’t the case, I’d just set up with UNIT that I’d get driven to and from work and they were more than happy to offer a ‘grunt’ as they called him. His name was actually Ross and he was lovely, he said it was a pretty honoured to be driving someone from Torchwood, he’d heard so many stories and was grateful for the institute. That was the first positive review I’d ever heard from UNIT on us so to say my mouth was gaping that first morning, was an understatement. I wondered how quickly I could get Ross promoted. Could I do that?

            Anyway, Jack had given me the next two days off after realising how harsh of a sentence he’d given me, he said I could take all the time off I needed after I said I’d just work from home. All Jack and I seemed to do these days was argue – we should really fix that.

            I won’t lie either, I had told Ianto and Tosh about the Halliwell masterplan, I’d explained the entire thing and surprisingly they were shocked I’d managed to pull it off. In Ianto’s own words he’d said “After Jack said about the protocols I thought you were going to rip his head off.” Which once again, told me that I should of went into acting rather than aliens. However, Ianto and Tosh told me that I had to be careful since Torchwood were watching everything and when they said Torchwood, they meant Jack. If Jack caught wind of betrayal who the hell knows what would happen.

            I’d asked them if I would be given Retcon and fired which ya know, fair play this is intergalactic secrets we were talking about here. However Ianto didn’t think so given the hold the American’s used to have on me. Yesterday Tosh had told me that she’d gotten into the CIA and deleted everything they had on me, just before the Director was given Retcon, along with a few other associates that were in the know. She’d even removed the two calls from the Director on Jack’s phone should anyone come looking.

            ‘Well while you worry about that, breakfast is ready.’ I said, handing him his own plate.

            I made a grab for the orange juice, grabbing the carton and bringing it to the dining table. I made sure to take a few bites so Chris could see and I could take a break from eating for a few minutes before taking any more. That trick always seemed to work.

            ‘Okay Moira says she might have some space at the clinic in an hour.’ He said.

            ‘Tell her it’s not an emergency-’

            ‘The doctor’s in charge here, remember.’ He cut me off.

            ‘Fine I’ll be there in an hour.’ I speared my fork into the bacon, already dreading this.

            ‘Thank you.’ Chris said, kissing the side of my head as he sat down beside me. ‘Now what am I telling Melinda to do about the wedding?’

            ‘We’ll keep it going, I’ll just not invite my friends from work except Toshiko and Ianto, we’ll take a few days off for the wedding and then I’ll be back to work as normal.’

            Chris nodded.

            ‘Well at least-’

            KNOCK.

            KNOCK.

            KNOCK.

            The pair of us froze, since we weren’t expecting company. That was the thing about being in the middle of nowhere, you always knew who was coming and since the postman had already been, no one else was schedule. Chris’ family had just left and mine always knew to let me know well in advance if they were coming.

            I grabbed for the gun strapped to the bottom of the kitchen table, holding it by my side as I slowly made my way towards the door. Suddenly quite annoyed we had a solid door and no windows at either side. I couldn’t see shit – we really needed some camera’s around here.

            KNOCK.

            KNOCK.

            KNOCK.

            ‘Is anyone home!’ The familiar voice of Jack called.

            Fuck a duck!

            I threw myself into the living room, pressing my back against the wall. Frantically looking for anything that belonged to me but thankfully, I’d done some cleaning last night and everything looked quite tidy. That and nothing that belonged to me was visible.

            I knew Jack would fucking check, I thought.

            ‘Do not let him in, no matter what he says.’ I whispered very quietly to Chris who nodded, closing the kitchen door behind him.

            We’d drilled this scenario a few times, just in case anyone came looking for me and Chris I won’t lie, was actually kinda good at acting the idiot.

            Chris gave me one last charming grin before opening the door, already feigning tiredness.

            ‘Can I help you?’ He asked.

            ‘Sorry, I’m just passing through and I was hoping to see a friend of mine.’

            ‘I don’t know you dude.’ Chris said, already seeming annoyed and really leaning into that American accent of his.

            Fuck he was kinda sexy all tense and stubborn.

            ‘She used to live here actually, her names Erin.’

            ‘I’ve lived here for years pal, sorry no one here by that name.’ Chris said, already going to close the door but the thud of Jack’s boot sounded against it.

            ‘I’m really sure she does, listen I’m with the police and we’re worried-’

            ‘Whatever it is you’re selling I’m not interested.’

            ‘Sorry mate, this one tends to go in all guns blazing.’ The chirpy voice of Owen sounded. ‘My names Owen Harper.’

            ‘And I’ve got a shift to get to in an hour, sorry I really can’t help you.’ Chris said, finally shutting the door with a bang.

            ‘Poor bastard.’ The muffled voice of Owen sounded through the door.

            Chris walked back to the kitchen and from what I could hear, was carefully lifting the breakfast plates and hiding them in the pantry – why the fuck was he hiding them in there? Oh right we had windows at the back of the house. I dropped to the floor, keeping low as I crawled to the front door, knowing there was no way they could see from the living room window. I’ve worked for Torchwood long enough to know that they don’t just stop once they get the door slammed in their face.

            Once Chris came back from the kitchen I pointed up the stairs which we both tip-toed up and before we knew it, we were hiding in the small study that only had a small window and thankfully, the curtain was drawn.

            ‘I knew he’d come looking.’ I whispered. ‘I knew it.’

            ‘Well it’s a good thing he came when we were in.’ Chris whispered back. ‘How was the acting.’

            ‘Good, you sounded like a right arsehole.’ I smirked.

            ‘Hey,’ He smirked flicking my head. ‘And before you say anything, I don’t care that we have to do this, if anything it’s kinda fun.’

            ‘Our breakfast is getting cold and you find this fun?’ I asked in disbelief.

            ‘Yeah, it feels like I’m Ethan Hunt or something.’

            ‘Right well don’t expect me to do any stunts.’ I smirked.

            ‘So…how long should we give it?’ Chris asked.

            ‘Give it about fifty minutes and then we should be good, I don’t trust the sound of the SUV, there’s two of them so one might stay behind and if Owen finds out, he’ll tell Jack I know it.’ I said.

            PING.

            A text from Ianto had come through.

           

 

            IANTO: It’s probably a bit too late to tell you that Jack and Owen are on their way?

 

I texted back.

 

            Yeah, just a tad but it’s fine we’re gonna wait it out.

 

            IANTO: They said they’re going to knock and if they can’t get in they’ll go round the back. Jack said he wants to keep doing checks like this.

            Why? Doesn’t he trust me? I texted back.

            IANTO: I think he’s just paranoid but just to be safe I wouldn’t mention anything to him when you come back. He doesn’t have the safehouse address, right?

            Nope I said I’d die before I gave it to him and the only guy who knows it is my dad and Ross the driver. Even if I do give it to him it’ll be a fake one.

            IANTO: Owen’s just called to say it just seems like Chris is in the house, he’s asking if there’s a number for the safehouse you’re in. Tosh doesn’t know what to say, she said she’s checking with UNIT now, what do we say?

            Say UNIT won’t give it

 

It took a few minutes before I got a reply through.

 

            IANTO: Jack isn’t having it, he called them himself but they keep putting him on hold.

            He’ll be there all day, listen I’ll put in my records Sarah Jane’s number and I’ll call her to let her know the situation, she’ll cover for me. I’ll just say I put in her number to annoy Jack or something. He’ll probably say something about security and then I’ll say something about not wanting to see him because he ruined my life blah blah blah

            IANTO: Shakespeare would of liked you

            I hope he’d like me too.

            IANTO: Good news, they’re both heading back to the hub, just give it five minutes.  

 

            ‘Okay so that’s that sorted.’ I smiled, replying quickly to Ianto. ‘We just give it five to make sure they don’t come back and then we’re free to do well…whatever.’

            ‘Whatever?’ Chris asked teasingly, his arms tugging me just that little bit closer.

            ‘You know whatever?’ I smirked briefly kissing his cheek before pulling away, quietly heading to the spare bedroom.

            To say that this little ‘catastrophic end to our marriage’ had been beneficial was an understatement. I still made Jack feel guilty and all the while got to come home to the man that was my husband. He was right, marriage was just a piece of paper – he was my husband and that’s all I needed to know. This was our never ending story and I would be here until well after the epilogue.

            I leaned down under the double bed, pulling at the drawers since I knew I’d moved my go bag in here. I’d been struggling to pick a new name, should the need arise so I thought I should go with one that was already in a passport, that way I didn’t need to go through the hassle of getting another one made.

            SMACK.

            Chris’ hand smacked hard on my ass sending me flying onto the bed. I couldn’t help it I gasped, even as he slowly moved my shorts from my hips, letting them drop to the floor.

            ‘You still gasp like a virgin.’ He hummed in my ear and I laughed.

            I tried to turn around but Chris’ hands grasped my own, spinning me to my back and pinning my arms above my head.

            ‘You still use the same old moves.’ I retorted. ‘Don’t think I don’t remember when you did this before.’

            ‘I think a bed is much more comfortable than a changing stall.’ He said snidely. ‘That and you can scream my name as loud as you want to in here.’

            I couldn’t help the heat that flushed through my cheeks or that my eyes averted themselves from his gaze.

            ‘Look at me.’ He demanded but I didn’t. ‘Erin, look at me.’

            I still didn’t pushing against him as hard as I could to sit up but he wouldn’t let me.

            ‘Right, we’re playing it this way.’ He said with a devilish grin.

            He slung his arm around my lifting me from the bed in a flash and pinning my arms above my head against the wardrobe. I really had no choice but to look at him but even then I kept my gaze locked on his chest. I knew it drove him insane, I knew it drove him mad.

            ‘Look at me.’ He demanded but again, I did nothing.

            Even when he grasped my chin I looked at the floor, biting down the smile that was brimming on my face.

            ‘Erin when I tell you to look at me you do it.’

            ‘Medically sure but apart from that I don’t have to do anything you say.’

            ‘I’m your husband.’

            I loved it when he said that, husband, we’d agreed we were already married last night and it sounded brilliant in his voice.

            ‘If anything that makes me less inclined to do it.’ I laughed.

            His warm hand slipped down my loose shirt to my underwear, his finger hovering and grazing my vagina.

            ‘You know I only need two fingers to get the job done, right?’ He teased and I sucked in a shaky breath, my eyes finally meeting his.

            ‘Good girl.’

 

***

 

You know, the one thing I expected on my day off was for Ianto to call me but what I hadn’t expected, would be the reason why.

            ‘All Miss Smith told me was that she needed a Torchwood consult on a story she’s running concerning a chain of different Coldfire school buildings, said it was alien.’

            ‘Aliens in a school?’ I asked, leaning back against the wall. ‘I mean I’m not saying it’s impossible but seriously?’

            ‘She also asked for you specifically.’

            ‘But she hasn’t called me.’ I said, a little confused, putting the phone on speaker and quickly checking through the call log in case I’d missed her, which I hadn’t.

            ‘Apparently she wanted to go through the official channels, she phoned Jack.’ Ianto said.

            ‘How is he?’ I asked.

            ‘Oh you know, same old same old.’ Ianto said and I could hear the grin in his voice. ‘Anyway, I’ve got the plane fuelled and waiting for you at the hanger, sorry Erin I know it’s your day off.’

            ‘Oh it’s fine I mean if Sarah Jane’s calling the world may be forty minutes away from imploding.’ I huffed.

            ‘Is it?’ Chris asked a little alarmed, peaking his head in from the balcony, his eyes flitting to the sky.

            ‘I need to go to Sarah Jane’s to find out.’ I smirked, turning back to the phone. ‘Thanks Ianto, if you still have her on the line tell her I’m on my way.’

            ‘I will do, have a nice flight.’ Ianto said before he whispered. ‘Oh and Tosh has started chatting with Lizzy.’

            ‘Oh my god!’ I squealed. ‘Really?’

            ‘Yeah so – I’m just on the phone to the hanger now Jack, Erin will head there in ten minutes.’ Ianto said, clearly being caught by Jack.

            ‘Well while she’s down there get her to tell Miss Smith we’re not always going to be at her beck and call!’ Jack’s voice sounded in the background. ‘We have our own jobs to do here and I don’t appreciate her stealing my staff!’

            ‘I’ll text Tosh on the plane, chat later Ianto.’ I hung up, slipping my phone in my pocket. ‘Okay so good news is that I don’t need to go to work but I’ve gotta go to Sarah Jane’s the now, but I should be back by tonight.’

            I grabbed for my work clothes in the wardrobe but what made me stop, was Chris’ excited grin as he walked in from the balcony, rubbing his hands together in the cool air.

            ‘So we’re going to investigate aliens?’

            ‘No – I’m going to investigate aliens, you are going to stay here.’

            ‘Oh what? Come on I know everything now, it’s not like you need to hide it from me and I would be purely there as a scientist.’

            ‘And when the alien has it’s claws around your neck how are you planning to scientifically getting out of that one?’ I countered, grabbing for a blouse and trousers, than the black rucksack at the top of the wardrobe.

            It had all the essentials; spare money, a gun, a knife, ammo, a pocketbook, a compass, small toiletries, a book in case I had some time to kill and a tablet so I could report anything back to the Hub.

            ‘I have the day off too ya know and you might need a doctor.’ Chris said, clearly trying to reason with me.

            ‘Chris you knowing is entirely different to dealing with aliens in the field.’ I said, checking over the bag. ‘Besides-’

            ‘You’ve got a doctor’s appointment.’ Chris said.

            ‘The world ending in forty minutes is kinda more important than the womb hun, especially when I know it’s nothing drastic.’

            ‘Or we could go to the doctor’s appointment and then I could go with you to London.’

            ‘You’re not shifting on this, are you?’ I asked, cocking my hip.

            ‘No.’

            Well it would be fun to have him there, oh screw it.

            ‘…Grab your medic bag and your shit, we’re leaving in five.’ I grumbled, already hating this idea – okay maybe I loved it.

            I rolled up the top of the rucksack, hooking it closed and slung it over my shoulder, heading down the stairs. I knew bringing Chris along would be a benefit, since he was a doctor and if things went horribly then at least you’d have someone there who’d know how to deal with it.

            I knew he could get hurt, I knew there was always chance so was it selfish of me to bring him along? I’d always wanted to because I knew he’d enjoy it. I could show him the wonders of the universe, I could do that – but what would it do to him? I’d spent my entire life trying to find the Doctor and it had brought me to amazing places and let me meet great people but there was always that hunger inside, the hunger for more. The dreams of time and space flew through my mind nearly every night – the glory of being able to run away and never look back. 

            Chris actually got changed quickly, meeting me at the bottom of the stairs, car keys in hand. He’d changed into a casual t-shirt and jeans, a lightweight jacket on top and medic’s bag strapped to his back.

            The medic and his time traveller wife – that sounded like the start to a really bad joke – wait wasn’t that already a book?

            To say that Chris was surprised Torchwood had it’s own plane was an understatement, first he’d gushed at the luxury of it all and then questioned why I’d let him drive down to London the last time when I had this. To which I’d told him I didn’t think he’d believe I’d suddenly won the lottery overnight.

            After our little fun this morning I’d shown Chris more of the Torchwood servers and let him look at the reports I’d created over the years. I told him the truth behind the Bubble Shock factory and all the pictures we’d caught of the Bane. To say he was interested was an understatement. I had the full breakdown of everything they were made up of from Mr Smith and Chris spent half an hour writing everything down to research for himself. I had to hold down an excited squeal when he showed interest in my work, not that he wouldn’t but he seemed to jump at the idea. He was curious about the aliens anatomy and how to go about it dissecting it. I’d told him I could get Owen to film his next autopsy when the next one invades, to which he nearly jumped out of his seat in delight.

            It was only when we got on the plane and he was triple checking his medical kit, that I said.

            ‘You know it’s really nice having you here.’

            He looked up at that.

            ‘Well I’m excited to help.’

            ‘But your family Chris we – I drugged your family, I crossed a line and we keep going like everything is normal and nothing’s changed-’

            ‘Because it hasn’t.’

            ‘I crossed a boundary.’

            ‘And I understand that.’

            ‘But-’

            ‘Erin.’ He cut me off. ‘If I was mad or upset I’d tell you, now I know what you do believe me everything makes much more sense – you’ve held all these secrets for so long but you don’t have to hide this part of you anymore.’

            ‘I wasn’t hiding I was just…avoiding talking about work.’

            ‘Well at least now you don’t have to spend so much money on colour correct and concealer.’

            ‘Huh?’

            ‘I never said because I knew that you’d just worry more about me finding out but I know how much you get hurt at your work, you spend at least thirty minutes some mornings covering up bruises.’

            Shit – he’d seen? Since when was this a thing? I always got up in plenty time so he wouldn’t see! I’d even convinced him to let me use the study to get ready in the morning so I wouldn’t wake him up. Are you telling me I got out my warm bed in the morning for nothing?

            ‘I also found your diary not too long ago, the one you keep with all your to do list’s in them.’ He admitted.

            What?

            ‘I have Torchwood written all over that thing-’

            ‘Yeah but I didn’t want to just come out with it, that night at the water tower Erin scared me to death, I’d never seen you look so afraid and you’ve never run faster away from me.’ Chris said. ‘I knew that Torchwood was to do with secrets in the government but I never knew just how fucking high up and secretive it was – especially with the shit the CIA pulled.’

            ‘So you knew this whole time?’ I asked. ‘You were just waiting for me to tell you?’

            ‘The look in your eyes at the hospital told me you’d seen something like that before, the way you acted and didn’t even break a sweat over the fact we were on the moon…I didn’t know what Torchwood was really I didn’t and I didn’t know about time travel, since that’s now a thing. You saved me and my family and I didn’t even know it.’

            ‘It was the least I could do.’ I said to his empathetic smile.

            Okay – where the hell had this guy come from? Seriously I was starting to worry he was a fictional man brought to life from a book that was written by a woman. You know what even if the CIA had pushed us together that hadn’t changed him as a person, Chris was such a sweetheart and a gentlemen.

            A gentleman with a motorbike in the garage.

            The roar of the plane’s engines started as the pilot geared the plane into position, the small hanger moving further and further into the distance. Then as we started to edge down the runway, Chris moved from his seat to the one next to mine, quickly securing his med bag and taking my hand.

            ‘Now, tell me did your anxiety about take-off and landings come from some horrible alien invasion where you nearly fell out of the sky?’ He joked and I laughed.

            ‘No it’s just you’re plain old regular fear.’ I said.

            ‘Well that’s good then, now we’ve got about an hour to kill so what do you want to do?’ Chris asked.       

            ‘You said you wanted to know about where the whole Lady title came from?’

            ‘Yeah but you said it was complicated.’

            ‘Well it is, I was dubbed the Lady of the Torchwood estate in 1879 by Queen Victoria after being chased for the better part of a night by a werewolf  that had evolved from a single cell after a meteor had crashed into a glen in Scotland, it was so weird the monks at the abbey nearby had turned from God and had started worshipping it  – athletic as hell mind you.’

            ‘…Right.’

 

***

 

The flight actually passed quicker than I expected and by the time I knew it, I was already at Sarah Jane’s front door, walking straight in.

            ‘Afternoon!’ I yelled, holding the door open behind me for Chris. ‘Did some call for a consult?’

            Sarah Jane’s house was as warm and cosy as usual but what I hadn’t expected was for her to come rushing down the stairs.

            ‘Oh thank goodness you’re here!’ She exclaimed but froze. ‘Chris?’

            ‘Oh he’s in the know now long story, what are we dealing with?’

            ‘Slitheen.’

            ‘…fabulous.’ I said through gritted teeth, turning to Chris. ‘You know how earlier I really didn’t want you to come.’

            ‘I promise to be careful, now let’s see what the situation is.’ Chris said kissing my hand, leading me up the stairs behind a very confused Sarah Jane.

            I knew three people in the attic didn’t exactly make it busy but for Sarah Jane’s house, it was heaving. Especially with the three of us walking in. Maria, Luke and another boy paced anxiously in their school uniforms, their bright eyes darting to us.

            ‘I’m guessing this isn’t study club.’ I joked, sitting my rucksack down.

            ‘Erin!’ Maria exclaimed, rushing over to hug me. ‘I’m so glad to see you, I got chased by a Slitheen!’

            ‘Eh excuse me, so did I.’ The new boy said pointedly. ‘And who’s she?’

            ‘She has a name thank you very much.’ I said to him.

            ‘This is Erin, she deals with this kind of stuff all the time.’ Maria said excitedly. ‘So she’ll know what to do.’

            ‘I’m glad you think so highly of me but let’s get all the facts shall we?’ I asked, looking over to Luke. ‘How are you?’

            ‘Good.’ He said shortly.

            He looked a little uncomfortable but only being alive for a few months will do that to a person and high school. Would Luke go through puberty or had he reached maturity? Okay not the time Erin.

            ‘Was anyone hurt?’ I asked, coming back to the situation at hand.

            ‘No, we’re alright.’ Maria nodded.

            ‘Speak for yourself.’ The boy said.

            ‘This is Clyde by the way, he’s from school.’ Maria told me.

            I smirked thinking, right Sarah Jane’s starting to heard school kids now.

            ‘Everyone this is Chris, he’s our medical consult for today.’ I said, pushing Chris forward a little, to say I was proud he was here was an understatement, he was a great doctor, I just had to get passed the impending feeling of something going tragically wrong. Again.

            ‘Hi.’ Chris waved, a little awkwardly. ‘Is no one going to explain the giant computer thing poking out the wall with all the lights of a Christmas tree?’

            ‘Alien super computer.’ I told him.

            ‘Gotcha.’ He nodded.

            I reached into my bag, pulling out my tablet and loading up the Torchwood server, logging into the archives and scanning through what we had on Slitheen. Rose and the Doctor had told me all about what happened in Downing Street, I wasn’t there sadly but it did sound fun…except for all the dead people of course.

            ‘Mr Smith when it comes to the Slitheen the main thing I’m concerned about is what they’re doing here in the first place.’ I said, turning to the computer and going straight into work mode. ‘They tried this once before, well twice if you count the nuclear power plant but what are they doing back?’

            ‘They’ve done this before?’ Clyde asked. ‘Those big green alien things have been here before?’

            ‘Yup.’ I said popping the p.

            ‘Their current motive is unclear.’ Mr Smith said.

            ‘They’re out to make a profit they have to be.’ I mused over the thought. ‘Mr Smith I’m sending you what we have on them, can you put it on the screen?’

            ‘Of course, one moment.’

            The small shuffle of Chris’ feet sounded behind me.

            ‘The computer talks?’

            ‘Yeah.’ I smiled. ‘You know you can have a freak out if you want to?’

            ‘No way, I’m not gonna be the only one freaking out here.’ He said, his hands pressing on my shoulders. ‘So this is what you do?’

            ‘Not all the time but yeah mostly.’ I said, looking back down to my tablet as the last of the files were sent through.

            A electronic blip sounded from Mr Smith and the archive data we had on Slitheen appeared on his monitor, the beastly thing taking centre stage.

            ‘Okay take a seat and listen up,’ I started, spinning around to the group. ‘The species of Raxacoricofallapatorius are Slitheen, the outcast family are scavengers, thieves of others technology, they are notoriously known to infiltrate low-tech planets by hiding in the skins of the dominant native species.’

            ‘Their skin?’ Chris asked.

            ‘The science teacher did that,’ Maria said. ‘It was like something at the top of his head like a zip, then there was this glowing blue light and his whole skin just dropped to the floor like some kind of suit.’

            ‘Yeah and because they’re so big they need bigger people to hide in, although from the size compression they leave themselves vulnerable of discovery.’ I said. ‘Since the compression often results in-’

            ‘Farting.’ Luke said cheerfully. ‘Farting’s funny.’

            You know what, maybe he wasn’t that far off being a normal kid after all, I thought.

            ‘The Slitheen must have taken over Coldfire Construction, put up buildings all around the world, why?’ Sarah Jane asked.

            ‘Mr Smith can you bring up a map of the world for me, then highlight all the schools set up by Coldfire.’ I asked.

            ‘Certainly.’ He replied.

            ‘I think I know why,’ Luke offered. ‘There’s a hidden room in the school, I saw inside.’

            ‘What’s in there?’ Maria asked.

            ‘I’ve got a theory – well it’s Erin’s theory.’

            ‘I don’t have a theory I’m just spit balling.’ I said, a little amused. ‘Come on big brains – you take the floor.’

            I tucked the tablet under my arm, watching as Luke’s eyes darted about the monitor.

            ‘Mr Smith, instead of bringing up an image of the whole world, bring up our satellite image of London please.’ He said and in a blip the map appeared. ‘Now plot the positions of every school put up by Coldfire.’

            Tens of buildings popped up in little red dots all over London, God how many were there?

            ‘Oh Luke I like you.’ I smirked, seeing where he was going with this. ‘Now Mr Smith bring up an global image and plot the position of every Coldfire building set up over the last oo…eighteen months.’

            ‘Accessing.’ Mr Smith said as the red line zipped around the globe.

            ‘Paris, Sydney, Beijing – I mean not all capital cities, they’re spread out all over the place, they look pretty random. Wait, underground railways – they’ve all got underground railways!’ Sarah Jane exclaimed. ‘Link them!’

            Even though we’d cracked the code and even though we were in a better place than twenty minutes ago, the list of buildings gave me no comfort.

 

London
Barcelona
Washington
Santiago
Los Angeles
Sydney
Beijing
Moscow
Naples
Paris

 

 

‘There’s one Slitheen at every site.’ Luke said.

            Oh this was not going to end well.

            When the Slitheen were in Downing Street they’d infiltrated government, they never did things half arsed. They’d set up these buildings all around the world but what for? Sure they’d infiltrated but what now? Had they planted a bomb somewhere? Where they wanting to sell the Earth?

            ‘And there are ten cities, ten sites – right call the army.’ Clyde said.

            Oh I don’t know if I could take UNIT swarming in like they did at the police station, I don’t think my nerves could take anymore of it.

            ‘Right, cause that always makes things better.’ Maria rolled her eyes.

            ‘You don’t need the army Clyde,’ I smirked. ‘That’s why I’m here.’

            ‘And what are you gonna do exactly?’ He asked. ‘You haven’t seen them, they’re massive and they’ve got claws longer than my auntie Mel.’

            ‘There’s cleverer ways to go about this Clyde but I want to know what it’s all for, what are they doing?’ Sarah Jane asked, clearly frustrated as her brows furrowed like a fire. ‘Secret room Luke, what was in there?’

            ‘Sarah Jane I’ve done something really stupid.’ Luke admitted. ‘A really bad social mistake, I told the Slitheen how to destroy the world.’

            A social mistake? That wasn’t a social mistake, a social mistake would be not reading the room after someone died.

            ‘Oh great.’ I muttered.

            ‘Wait I’m sorry but how did you tell these alien freaks how to destroy the planet?’ Chris asked a little sceptically. ‘I know I’m new and you’re a whiz at academics but come on.’

            ‘It wasn’t working until I gave them the answers.’ Luke told him. ‘In science club our teacher showed us a circuit and asked us to fix the problem, so I did.’

            ‘The same science teacher than was a Slitheen?’ I asked.

            ‘Yes.’

            ‘Well that’s fabulous.’ I rolled my eyes. ‘Right so what was the circuit built to do?’

            ‘To store energy.’ Luke turned to me. ‘That’s what Mr Jeffrey’s told us.’

            ‘Then that’s what they’re doing.’ The thought hitting me like a train. ‘Slitheen are always out to make a profit so they steal the energy from Earth and then they store it in those secret rooms and sell it to I dunno…the alien electric company?’

            ‘The alien electric company?’ Chris asked sceptically.

            ‘Oh shut up.’

            ‘The power cut last night was a test run.’ Luke said.

            ‘We didn’t get a power cut.’ I said.

            ‘It must have just been a test over London then.’ Sarah Jane said.

            ‘But our candles went out and that’s not electric.’ Maria said, looking over some circuit plans that Sarah Jane had pulled from her bag.

            ‘When the capacitors are charged up they act as transducers converting heat and light into electrical energy, that’s how the loop works, it’s not connected physically.’ Mr Smith chimed in.

            ‘But what has underground railways got to do with that?’ Maria asked.

            ‘The system must generate enormous heat, the underground railways act as a cooling system.’ Sarah Jane explained.

            ‘Oh yeah, glad we sorted that out.’ Clyde muttered.

            ‘people getting ill, food going off that’s the effect of living or working next to one of the capacitors.’ Sarah Jane said.

            ‘Indeed.’ Mr Smith agreed. ‘Even on standby transducers would cause cellular decay in organic matter.’

            Oh I loved dropping in the middle of all the chaos, you miss half the clues – better include this in the report when I get to it.

            ‘With this system they can drain every last drop of energy on Earth, our schools the last link in the chain.’ Luke.

            ‘But it needs the whole chain to do that – yeah?’ Maria asked.

             ‘Yeah.’ He nodded after thinking it over.

            ‘We bomb the school?’ Clyde asked excitedly, which made me laugh.

            ‘Sadly no.’ I told him.

            ‘If we could get in there could you destroy the entire system safely?’ Sarah Jane asked Luke.

            ‘I think so, if we reset the system, shut it down for just a second, I’d need a cutting tool.’

            ‘What about this?’ Sarah Jane asked, whipping out the sonic lipstick.

            ‘Okay seriously now where do I get one of those?’ I groaned. ‘That would be so handy.’

            ‘But how do we get passed the Slitheen?’ Maria asked.

            ‘We bomb them!’ Clyde repeated.

            ‘Sarah Jane, I’ve just picked up this report on an American news channel.’ Mr Smith intervened.

            ‘Breaking news,’ The newsreader said, her image appearing on the screen. ‘There’s a massive loss of power on the west coast of North America, Los Angeles has gone dark.’

            ‘It’s starting.’ Sarah Jane worried.

            ‘And I told them how to do it.’ Luke said. ‘The day I was born I saved the world now I’ve helped destroy it.’

            ‘Now come on Luke, there’s only room for one dramatist in this family.’ I said, slinging my arm around his shoulder. ‘And we all have bad days, besides you’ve got someone that knows how to fight Slitheen.’

            ‘Who?’ He asked.

            ‘Me.’ I smiled. ‘Now Slitheen are calcium based life forms but the way to defeat them isn’t with guns or bombs Clyde.’

            ‘Then what do we use?’ He asked.

            ‘Vinegar.’

            A hollow groan sounded around the entire house, enveloping us in darkness as every light, computer and phone switched off.

            ‘You know for dramatic timing that was quite good.’ I nodded.

            ‘I’m guessing that’s not good.’ Chris said, a little unnerved.

            ‘Nope it’s starting now all we need is the sonic…that’s not working now either is it?’ I asked turning to Sarah Jane who looked at the thing like a dud. ‘Right, everyone downstairs, we’re gonna do some chemistry.’

            ‘You’re not doing chemistry!’ Chris exclaimed.

            I set fire to the kitchen one time!

            I jumped up, running down the stairs as fast as I could and into the kitchen, flinging all the cupboard doors open.

            ‘Chris grab anything that even resembles vinegar, that’s what we’re going to use.’ I said, not even checking to see if he was behind me.

            ‘I don’t get it, why would vinegar do anything?’ Maria asked.

            ‘They’re calcium based life forms, which means on contact with vinegar they well – you’ll find out but I know people who’ve fought Slitheen before and it worked, you’re gonna have to trust me.’

            ‘Why should we, we don’t even know you!’ Clyde exclaimed. ‘Not that I’m complaining of course but you’ve just swanned in and told us what to do.’

            ‘I work with people who deal with aliens, remember last Christmas with everyone walking to the rooftops, ready to jump and then a laser destroyed the space ship in the sky?’

            ‘Yeah?’

            ‘That was the people I work for,’ I told him, pouring everything I could into plastic squeezy bottles. ‘I didn’t agree with it but that’s what I do, I deal with aliens now you can either stand there asking questions or you can help.’

 

***

‘So all this fighting alien stuff, you’ve been doing it for years?’ Clyde asked as we barrelled down the street towards the school.

            ‘Not now Clyde.’ Sarah Jane told him.

            ‘What? Did you go up to the career guy at school and say, I wanna defend the planet from alien invaders?’

            ‘Not exactly.’

            ‘So what happened? How did it start?’

            ‘It’s a long story and if we survive I’ll be happy to tell you.’ She said.

            I kept behind Sarah Jane, Luke, Clyde and Maria as we ran taking in as much as I could, cars had just stopped dead in the road, angry civilians throwing their hands out in frustration and yelling this is why they should’ve gotten Atmos when there was a deal on.

            ‘You alright?’ Chris asked, jogging beside me.

            ‘Yeah fine.’ I said. ‘Running towards impending doom is kinda in the job description.’

            WHOOSH.

            A shroud of shadows captured the street, it was so dark I thought it was night but it wasn’t, the sky was still blue but so was the sun.

            ‘What the fuck?’ Chris asked, a deathly volatile chill tainting the air.

            ‘What’s going on?’ Clyde asked as an icy cold blue burned through the sun.

            ‘It’s transduction, like the candles.’ Luke said.

            ‘They’ve switched off the sun.’ Maria cried.

            Coldfire – those bastards this was their plan from the beginning. The cold fire of a sun.

            ‘They’re draining its power.’ Sarah Jane told us.

            ‘We’ve got about thirty-two point five minutes.’ Luke said.

            ‘Oh you’re just like Ianto, you and his stopwatch and you’d have no problem determining when the world would end.’ I grumbled.

            ‘Everyone’s gonna die.’ Clyde said.

            ‘I told you!’ Sarah Jane exclaimed. ‘We’re gonna stop them!’

            Then just like that we were off running again, pushing through the shrieking and worried crowds all staring at the sky in horror.

            ‘What the six of us?’ Clyde asked. ‘With vinegar in plastic squeezy’s?’

 

***

 

Finding the doors to the school unlocked was a little creepy, considering these Slitheen weren’t that thick, they probably had cameras all around the school. They had to of known we’d be coming if they’d caught the kids earlier.

            I wanted to know if they’d laid any traps, I wanted to know if one of them was waiting around the next corner ready to slice our heads off. I remember Rose telling me that the Slitheen love the thrill of the chase and that they had enhanced smell and can get a person’s gender and age alone from it. Whether that was a curse of a blessing to them I didn’t like to speculate.

            ‘Okay we stick together for now but if the worst happens we split into groups of two, Chris you’re with Sarah Jane and Luke, I’ll go with Maria and Clyde, we all meet at that secret room at that back of the building.’ I ordered, looking over the plastic bottle in my hand. ‘Got it?’

            ‘I don’t like splitting up.’ Sarah Jane said.

            ‘Well neither do I but this is the worst case scenario.’ I said. ‘The planets gonna freeze and I’d rather know the two teams had at least one competent adult on them.’

            ‘Are you saying I’m not competent?’ Chris asked.

            ‘When it comes to aliens darling not really.’

            ‘Ah, human children, the stench of Haribo and chicken nuggets.’ The slimy yet grainy voice of the Slitheen taunted.

            Just as Sarah Jane did, I pushed myself in front of the kids and Chriss, really wishing I had a gun. I knew it was a bad thing to think of or be the first thing to reach for but the Slitheen was huge! Nearly seven feet in height, bright green with round black bulbous eyes and claws that could slit your throat. It’s neck wrinkly in fat, all held tight by the thick black colour around it’s neck. If I didn’t know it was a compression unit I would think that even aliens were into some kinky shit.

            ‘Get off this planet!’ Sarah Jane ordered.

            ‘Oh shush now,’ The Slitheen blathered. ‘It’s time to hunt, the hunt is an instinct with us. The only way to keep our food safe in the days when the Baaraddeleskelliumfatrexuis beasts wandered the plains of Raxacoricofallapatorius.’

            ‘The what?’ Clyde asked, beating me to it.

            It was a really good question though, seriously what the hell was a Baarad – whatever?

            ‘It’s sort of like giant squirrels, we killed them all centuries ago but the hunting instinct remains!’

            ‘Now!’ I yelled pointing the squeezy bottle at the Slitheen and plugging – well it was vinegar so I wasn’t exactly plugging anything. Maria and Clyde stood by my side covering the Slitheen in the acid.

            ‘Didn’t like that did you?’ Clyde sneered.

            ‘Vinegar get back!’ Maria chimed in.

            ‘This way!’ Luke said, grabbing Sarah Janes hand.

            ‘Maria?’ She asked.

            ‘I’ve got them just go!’ I yelled stepping in front of the pair. ‘Chris you too!’

            ‘Erin-’

            ‘Go!’

            The three of them darted away from us down the corridor and I had half a mind to watch after them since my husband was amongst the group but I didn’t have time, as Clyde’s and my own bottle ran out. Well shit.

The Slitheen laughed, stalking towards us like prey and corning us against a wall.

            ‘You’re afraid.’ It said.

            ‘Of you?’ I asked. ‘You’re like a frog on steroids mate if anyone’s scared it should be you.’

            ‘What are you doing?’  Clyde asked me but I didn’t answer him.

            I eyed Maria’s bottle seeing she still had a quarter left, I nodded to her mouthing ‘wait’ before turning back to the Slitheen. I just had to hope she knew what I meant.

            ‘A Slitheen girl your age would do it, wouldn’t think twice.’ The thing continued, clearly talking to Maria.

            I could see she was afraid, she looked terrified and my arm across her chest was hardly going to stop a Slitheen. I felt Clyde’s hand on my arm but didn’t move to reassure him, we had to look strong right now, this thing thought it was winning – sure it was right now but not for long.

            The Slitheen continued.  

            ‘But now all the fight’s gone out of you, you just stand there shaking in your shoes. That’s why we survive, that’s why you’re losers, all of you on this rubbish planet.’ I slowly turned to Maria and nodded. ‘That’s why we win!’

            I ducked out of the way bringing Clyde with me as Maria doused the Slitheen in the remaining vinegar and I smirked as I could already hear it sizzling. The Slitheen cried out in agony, writhing in front of us before he ultimately stopped.

            ‘Oops.’

            In one large belch the Slitheen exploded, wet, warm and slimy remains spraying all over us, soaking every inch of my body. Like plastic bags filled with wet clothes that mulched and squelched, the remains of the Slitheen hit the white walls, some smacking off Maria’s face and my hair, before dripping to the floor in a heap. Immediately I spat, worried in case anything had gotten in, wiping at my face and eyes. Slitheen didn’t carry infections right? That was the last thing I fucking needed.

            So this is what Jackie meant when she said the Slitheen exploded like that thing from Alien, minus the alien bit.

            ‘Oh great.’ Clyde groaned, wiping at his shirt.

            Maria laughed.

            ‘I did it, I exploded the headmaster.’

            I patted her shoulder, wiping off some of the green gunk from her hoodie.

            ‘Well Maria if you ever wanna job when you’re old enough feel more than free to give me a call, cause that was amazing.’ I told her, wiping some of the goop from my eyes knowing my mascara had to be running down my face. ‘Come on, let’s go find the others.’

            ‘Luke showed me where the secret room was, come on!’ Clyde said, taking off in a sprint. ‘But we’ve gotta stop by the toilets first!’

            It only took five minutes to get to the secret room but as we approached and I saw the flickering electric lights crackle and pop, I grabbed the pairs arms.

            ‘No,’ I said. ‘No we’re not going in there.’

            ‘What?’ Maria exclaimed.

            ‘No way! I’m not staying out here the water thing will work, they can’t tell if it’s vinegar or not!’ Clyde agreed.

            ‘The Slitheen have a heightened sense of smell they’ll figure it out straight away, my job is to keep you alive so I’m not leading you to a slaughter.’

            ‘But we have to!’ Maria told me.

            ‘Don’t you think I want to go in there?’ I asked. ‘Chris is in there and so is Luke and Sarah Jane but I need to trust them, I need to trust they’ll be alright and that they trust me to look after you.’

            ‘But we can take care of ourselves.’ Clyde demanded.

            ‘Your first idea was to bomb the school Clyde so don’t judge me for not believing that last statement.’ I said to him. ‘You’re kids and you don’t belong here, it’s too dangerous.’

            ‘I signed up for this,’ Maria told me. ‘I told Sarah Jane I wanted to see the stars and the wonders of the universe.’

            ‘Yes but the wonders come with the monsters Maria, the Slitheen are just one species that want to destroy Earth, just one of the many people who will kill you if you get in the way of their master plan.’ I said, finally turning round to look at her. ‘Because believe me your dad won’t take comfort in the fact his daughter saved the world when I tell him you’re dead.’

            ‘I won’t die!’

            ‘Not with me here you won’t and neither will you Clyde.’ I told them.

            ‘Run!’ The frantic voice of Chris yelled as he barrelled out of the secret room, grabbing Luke’s arm and shoving him forward before going back for Sarah Jane’s, her crème jacket flailing behind her as she caught her breath, leaning on Chris for a moment.

            The white door to the secret room slid shut but stopped short as two Slitheen were caught at the edge.

            ‘Use your sonic device open the door!’ The taller one yelled. ‘He’s my son, please let him live.’

            Oh fuck I hadn’t even – a child Slitheen.

            We couldn’t let it go, it could come back and…God I’d worked at Torchwood for too long.

            ‘Luke.’ Sarah Jane held out her hand.

            ‘You can’t let them out!’ Clyde protested.

            Luke shakily handed over the sonic lipstick.

            Just as the Slitheen began to shriek in pain, the sonic whirring of the lipstick sounded and a beam of light encased the Slitheen child, as he teleported to safety. With another squelch the Slitheen exploded and the secret room door shut with a snap, the person I was more concerned about however, was Sarah Jane. She looked heartbroken and I knew why.

            She’d done the right thing, I would of done the same – right?

            ‘The circuits burnt itself out.’ Luke said happily as the school lights flickered back on.

            ‘We did it!’ Clyde cheered proudly.

            ‘He was a child, twelve years old.’ Sarah Jane said solemnly.

            ‘But it was them or us.’ Clyde said.

            Sarah Jane’s head flicked back but she didn’t stop, marching towards the exit. I checked in with Chris who nodded to tell me he was alright before I darted after her, grabbing for her arm and looping it with mine.

            ‘You know he’s not had the greatest ideas today but he does have a fair point with that one.’ I told her. ‘The moral high ground disappears when it’s kill or be killed, I know you don’t like it but it’s the way of the world.’

            ‘He was a child.’

            ‘And maybe wherever he is now will raise him properly, at least he’s alive, focus on that.’

            Sarah Jane smiled sadly but quickly changed the subject.

            ‘Chris was great in there.’

            ‘He was?’ I whispered, already desperate to know more.

            ‘He’s quite the scientist, him and Luke worked together to figure out that the circuit would explode rather than store the energy, he distracted the Slitheen long enough for me to get the sonic lipstick to Luke.’

            I smiled, turning back for a brief moment to see Chris laughing with the three kids, pretending to puke at Maria and Clyde’s school shirts that I knew were stinking, considering the gag I was holding in myself from my own stench.

Despite the power coming back on we still ran to school so we had to walk all the way back, which meant my arm was looped with Chris as my hips were tightening and I was tripping over my feet more than usual.

‘So first hostile alien encounter, how was it?’ I asked.

‘Good.’ He said promptly.

‘That’s it – you met an alien that tried to kill you and it was good?’

‘…Okay I nearly shat my pants is that what you wanna hear?’

‘Oh yeah that’s what I want to hear.’ I laughed.

‘Well I nearly did but thankfully I did a bit of engineering and physics before I committed to being a doctor so you know what, I think I actually contributed today.’

‘You did, Sarah Jane told me.’ I said proudly. ‘First alien and-’

‘It exploded on you.’ Chris cut me off. ‘Like exploded?’

‘Yup, I need a shower cause I stink.’

‘Great thanks, much love to the Brig.’ Sarah Jane chirped happily as we came to a stop just outside her house. ‘Just sorted our little chain problem, some friends of mine are going to clear it all up.’

‘UNIT?’ I asked.

‘Yes.’

            ‘Oh thank God I couldn’t be arsed calling them.’ I said thankfully.

            ‘Uh excuse me, language.’

            ‘Oh arsed isn’t a bad word.’ I said. ‘That’s like in the British handbook of words that you can say.’

            ‘No it is not.’ Sarah Jane countered.

            ‘The kids go to school ya know and a public one, they all swear and dance at those ones.’

            ‘Dance?’ Luke asked.

            ‘What’s UNIT though, a furniture shop?’ Clyde asked.

            I laughed.

            ‘Oh I’m so using that the next time I’m on the phone with them.’

            ‘Where were you?’ A woman shrieked racing around from Sarah Jane’s front door. ‘Come here!’

            ‘Hi mum.’ Maria said sheepishly.

            Oh that’s why I recognised her, she was Maria’s mum.   

            ‘Oh where have you been?’ She mother grimaced seeing the stains on her shirt.

            ‘That’s our fault sorry,’ I cut in. ‘Hi my names Erin I believe I met Alan the last time I was here, I work for the government and we’re in the area to work with groups of kids, developing their volunteering skills as well as their future careers, we were at one of the labs earlier after school and someone,’ I smiled, slinging my arm around Chris’ shoulder. ‘Got a little handy with a catalyst and things went boom don’t worry it’ll come out in the wash just need to soak it in cold water for an hour and then chuck it in the machine.’

            ‘Sorry Erin?’ The woman asked.

            ‘Yeah, Erin Halliwell.’ I said not bothering to shake her hand seeing how disgusted she looked by it, yeah I wouldn’t shake hands with me either. ‘Anyway, we better get going we’ve got to get back to Cardiff now that the whole work experience, thingy-me-bob is over so we’ll be seeing you.’

            ‘Wait – you’re just leaving?’ Clyde asked as I pulled Chris towards the house. ‘But what about-’

            ‘The follow up job placements?’ I asked. ‘I’ll call you but Sarah Jane we’re just going to grab our stuff and go, I’ll give you a call later tonight, nice seeing you again Alan.’

            ‘Nice seeing you too.’ He smiled.

            Before Maria’s mother could say anymore I’d already closed the door behind us, running up the stairs to get my tablet. I stuffed it into the rucksack and texted the hanger in London that we’d be there in twenty minutes.

            ‘I thought you’d want to stay.’ Chris said, lingering in the attic door. ‘Or at least go for a shower before you leave.’

            ‘Nah, I’ll get out of Sarah Jane’s hair and besides there’s a shower on the plane.’ I told him. ‘That and I want to sleep in my own bed tonight, may as well write the report of today from somewhere comfy.’

            ‘You need to write a report?’

            ‘Yeah, as well as update the archive on what we have on the Slitheen.’ I said. ‘Maria managed to kill a Slitheen with a quarter of her bottle so I’ll figure out how much that is in millilitres and then we can add that to the weaknesses, then I can link that to this report so they understand the circumstances leading up the scenario.’

            ‘Don’t you want to stop and I dunno, take a nap?’ Chris asked, a little exasperated.

            ‘Do you?’ I asked in return. ‘Because we can I don’t mind, I’m just more used to all go all of the time.’

            ‘Yeah I can tell,’ Chris laughed. ‘But if there’s a shower on the plane than we can grab one there together.’

            ‘Oh you really wanna be in the mile high club don’t you?’ I asked. ‘We just saved the world from becoming a ball of ice and you’re thinking about-’

            ‘I’m thinking of bodily and oral hygiene get your head out of the gutter Mrs Halliwell.’ Chris said charmingly, kissing me on the cheek. ‘Come on let’s head home.’

 

***

 

It took nearly two hours to get home after all the quick goodbyes and travelling time but when I fell into my bed I revelled in the soft sheets, wiggling my legs back and forth as I wrote up the report of what had happened. Chris had stuck on the record player in our bedroom, tapping his feet on the bed to Mister Holland as he read one of the files I’d brought home from work. I’d told him on multiple occasions that his glasses were sexy as fuck but he thought it made him look ten years older. As he read and took notes from the autopsy on a string of Weevil attacks however, I wanted to take him there and then.

            Sure, my glasses added some IQ points to the average passerby but Chris looked like the hot professor everyone wanted to sleep with. He had to wear his glasses at work, right? I wondered if any of the new starts ever hit on him? I’d have to get a ring for him to wear one day, not right now since Jack was checking in any chance he got but in the future. He didn’t wear anything that told the world he wasn’t on the market – okay that sounded bad. He wasn’t an object to sell but had he seen himself in those glasses? Fucking hell I needed a mop.

            I quickly sent a message to Mr Smith, asking him to track where the Slitheen child was transported to so we could keep an eye on it. Him, not it him. Didn’t need him coming back with a vengeance after his father’s death. Slitheen weren’t the most difficult to deal with but they could be lethal, they didn’t have a moral compass so to speak, with them everything came back to money. They were ready to freeze an entire planet for wealth. Sure I agreed with the Slitheen, at the best of times we were a rubbish planet but there were moments, fleeting ones but all the same brilliant. Where the human race were amazing and one day I knew we’d spread out across the stars.

            ‘Moira texted by the way, she said she’ll get the blood results back from the appointment later this week.’ Chris said, bringing me from my thoughts. ‘She doesn’t think it will be anything too serious but obviously she can’t say anything for sure until she gets the results.’

            Oh fuck I’d forgotten about that, the appointment was quick enough cause we’d initially went in and said we need to run so Moira stuck a needle in me, then we left after I’d bled enough. My uterus wasn’t high on my list of priorities and if something was seriously wrong I’d know.

            ‘Oh no of course.’ I nodded. ‘It’s probably just a lack of iron or estrogen.’

            ‘Uh huh, you remember what I said earlier?’

            ‘That you won’t consider my diagnosis until I go to medical school.’

            ‘Oh yeah, that’s right.’ He joked. ‘My old age and everything I forgotten we’d already had this conversation.’

            ‘You’re not that old.’

            ‘I’m married to a twenty-four year old, that’s eleven years.’ He stated. ‘At least when you were twenty-five I’d made my peace with a ten year difference.’

            ‘Oh there are more important things in the world than that and besides, Catherine Zeta-Jones is living it up with her husband.’ I told him. ‘I just said I was older when we started dating so you wouldn’t think I was a total baby.’

            ‘When we came back from the states last summer they questioned if you were eighteen because of your face.’

            ‘That was not my fault!’

            ‘They patted me down like I was trying to smuggle you across the border!’ Chris laughed. ‘And anyway, babies are well…do you want to have kids?’

            Oh shit – that’s where he was going with this. I – uh – fuck what did I say?

            ‘I mean with our jobs it would be kinda hectic to try but uh I dunno.’ I shrugged, laughing nervously. ‘I just…I have no idea how to be a mum Chris, there’s so much you need to know and then you need to figure out when to feed them and what their different cries mean. You’re one job is making sure that little human doesn’t kill themselves and then while you’re at it, shape their morals and make sure they don’t turn into some entitled asshole.’       

            Chris smiled.

            ‘So not any time soon?’

            ‘No I mean, maybe when I’m twenty-six or seven but right now I dunno with my periods being all over the place I don’t even know when we should try.’ I admitted.

            His warm hand took mine.

            ‘For the record, you’d make an excellent mom.’

            ‘How do you know?’ I asked. ‘I have no idea what I’m doing, I didn’t even have a mum and with my job they don’t exactly offer daycare and then what if the worlds ending or the sun goes out again?’

            ‘Well if you ever were pregnant I’m sure we’d figure it out.’ Chris told me. ‘There’s always something we can do.’

            I did feel bad for the most part when it came to kids, Chris wasn’t getting any younger but we’d just ‘unofficially’ gotten married, kids was a big jump. One kid was a big jump actually and I was only gonna do it the once, I don’t care if he grew up with siblings, once we had one I was getting my tubes tied.

            ‘I know that you want to have a baby, we’ve spoken about it a lot.’ I said. ‘I just don’t know right now with all the stuff going on at work.’

            ‘I know.’ He said. ‘And I want to be the last person to push you into doing this, you’d be the one carrying the baby after all, we can wait a few years.’

            ‘But I know you don’t wanna be doing the school run in your forties.’

            ‘I think I can grumble about it when we get there.’ He said, tugging me into his arms. ‘But for now let’s just stick to the doctor’s appointments until we can figure out what’s going on, yeah?’

            ‘Okay.’ I agreed, kissing his cheek. ‘I’ll be back to work tomorrow so I’ll keep my phone on me in case you wanna chat.’

            ‘I don’t need to call you through that fake number, right?’

            ‘No my burner will do but only if it’s an emergency, I don’t want Jack catching on, as far as he knows I’m a scorned woman.’

            Chris laughed at that.

            ‘Okay Mrs Halliwell.’ He grinned kissing my head. ‘Okay.’