“Father, it’s alright. I know that brother only says these things because he cares for me.” Christian decided to speak up quietly. In the inside, though, he could not agree with the brother more. This stupid girl really needed to get herself together. Or he needed to get himself together? Christian rubbed his temples in frustration. It was easy for him to look at this situation from a bystander’s point-of-view while completely forgetting that the real Tang Xuemei was now gone and he was this body’s new owner. Him! A female! Christian did not realize, but this act of frustration reflected like pain towards his new family members. All of them quickly paled.

“Mei-er, it’s brother who spoke too harshly. Don’t take it too seriously. Just pay attention to your health.” In the end, it was the entire family who spoiled Xuemei to such an excessive extent. Even this brother was unreliable as although he would start strict, he would give in too easily. Not knowing whether to laugh or cry, Christian decided that he was not prepared to deal with this situation yet and told all of them that he was feeling tired again. They all flinched hearing the word “sleep” but they still decided that it was her body’s way of recovering. Making sure to lecture some more before leaving, they reluctantly left the hospital room to give Xuemei peace.

The silence in the room was deafening. Christian laid back down and just stared blankly at the ceiling. What was his next step? In his old life, he always had new missions and training to take up his thoughts and time so that he would not have to think about anything else. Having so much down time was extremely weird for him as he no longer knew what to do with himself. Suddenly getting stuck in a new body of a weak young girl was extremely hard to wrap his head around. He couldn’t help but feel bad towards that family as well. Clearly, Xuemei was already dead but they would never know, no one would grieve for this young girl who died too early. Thinking of this much, Christian felt like he owed this young girl because, in the end, at least he was still alive unlike her. With no future plans, he felt nervous as he was always liked to have set plans and schedules. Ever since he was young, he was a goal-oriented and extremely decisive person. Taking advantage of this quiet moment, Christian tried to compartmentalize his thoughts. First things first, he would have to recover and get through physical therapy while also going through all of Tang Xuemei’s memories. Determination filled his eyes as he tossed out his other worries from his head. Yes, things were completely different now, but that just means he has another chance to live his life a little different from before. He would not let himself mope around!

Only Christian did not realize even the first day would be so devastating. Nothing huge happened, he just went to the physical bathroom for the first time. Looking at himself in the mirror then pulling down his pants, he came to the sudden realization that he would have to sit every single time… The change was not large, but if you lived 28 years of your life peeing while standing, it feels extremely foreign to have to suddenly sit. Even the feeling was no longer the same. Just sitting on the toilet, Christian could feel himself shivering. How was he supposed to just get used to this?! Sadly, hanging his head, Christian knew that he would have to come to terms with this new identity of his, but it doesn’t happen that quickly.

His next challenge came in the form of clothes. His mother came into the hospital room with some underwear and a bra. It took all his effort for Christian to keep his expression from cracking, but he managed to persevere. Forcing a smile on his face as he thanked his mother, he took the bag and went into the bathroom. Thankfully, the underwear was not too different. Looking down and no longer seeing his little friend was definitely hard to accept, but after a couple days of this empty feeling, he eventually barely got over it. Pulling on the underwear, he picked up the bra and paused. Almost as if he was a frozen screen, Christian could not bring himself to continue moving. It was like his brain went through an error. Glancing down at his chest, he was also devastated seeing that he was actually pretty big… To think that the next time he saw a girl’s chest was because it was own! Life seemed to find real creative ways to just completely flip your life around. Finally letting out a shaky exhale, he pulled the straps around his shoulders and, after a couple minutes of fumbling around, he managed to get the clasps connected. The feeling was not the best and Christian could not help but feel as though his chest was more restricted. However, there was nothing he could do. It was not like he could walk around without a bra on, his were too big and it would be too noticeable. Afterwards, he just pulled on his hospital clothes once more thanking his lucky stars that he did not have to wear female clothes just yet. Just these gender-neutral loose hospital shirt and pants.

For almost the rest of the month, Christian peacefully went to his physical therapy every single day. He was still stuck in a wheelchair most of the time, however, his limb movement was getting better and he was less exhausted all the time. All this was the same until the first experience with his Great Aunt¹. This entire time, this situation never passed his mind. Sleeping peacefully one night, he woke up the next day feeling extremely uncomfortable. His stomach had sharp pains and he began to have cold sweat on his back due to the pain. Feeling dampness underneath himself, he curiously put his hand to touch but it was dyed red when he pulled it back. In his confusion, he called for the nurse, thinking something wrong had occurred with his body. However, she just laughed and said that she forgot to remind him about his “schedule” now that he woke up to take care of it himself. He blankly stared at her hand him a small rectangle like object covered in a thin plastic wrap. When he finally laying his eyes on this pad, Christian understood what was happening. Period! The rest of the week was like hell on earth for him. Even with the painkillers taking away the cramps, he just felt extremely uncomfortable and irritable. For the first time ever, he had a hard time convincing himself to get up and go to physical therapy. It was rather concerning for someone like him who always prided himself on his self-discipline. Now he finally understood why women always complained of wishing to be male around this time of the month. It really was not preferable.

It was not just the period. Everything was so much more suffocating than before. He couldn’t sit with his legs too spread out. He shouldn’t burp or pass gas in public. He had to eat with better manners. Blah, blah, blah. Maybe not all women suffered like this, but as a rich heiress in China his parents held him up to specific standards. It was not like Christian was some gross slob, either. He had always been neat and organized, almost to the point of being OCD. It was just that hanging out in barracks with other men or undercover with his soldiers, he picked up some less than savory habits during his time with them. His parents let most things slide, however that Tang Xueliang was like an old-fashioned tyrant. Telling Christian to act like this or be more like this. Most of the time Christian was just trying his best not to fight back. He only ever had one younger brother, so he was not used to getting lectured like this all the time. His parents also always focused more on his younger brother than him because they trusted he had things under control. After they passed away, he did not have anyone but himself as the controller of his life. Getting placed in a situation where both his new older brother and parents were so overbearing in their love and control, Christian had a tough time getting used to them. In the beginning, even calling them brother, mom, and dad was hard.

On top of the physical therapy, his parents were in discussion of hiring an etiquette teacher. Completely disgruntled by this suggestion, Christian tried his best to fight it, however they would not change their mind. After he goes back home, they wanted him to also start learning correct manners and etiquette. Groaning inwardly, Christian suddenly did not want to finish his physical therapy so quickly. In the end, he promised he would seriously take the etiquette lessons if they let him start to learn some mixed martial arts after he is discharged. At first, they were completely against it because they did not see the point of their cute daughter learning such a violent sport, but they yielded because she kept begging them about it. Both of them spoiled their daughter rotten and Christian knew this so he easily took advantage of this.