There was a shrill screech. Half asleep for an unknown amount of time, I cracked my eyes open.

 “…sister?” I mumbled, squinting from the sunlight.

It seemed I slept to mid afternoon. Uh…what day? I don’t know.

The culprit of the screech was a small falcon perched a distance in front of me on the branch. Orange on the rim of its round and circular eyes…it screeched again with that curved, sharp beak. When the insides of my head began to churn and function, my eyes went wider.

“Enjoying the scenery?” it was a deep voice. It sounded strained, as though holding back a large amount of anger.

Well, this isn’t good. Within gaps of the leaves I saw Zhou Liang standing at the base of the tree. He had a taunt, insincere smile, like he was about to skin me alive. Luckily, I’d imagined myself getting disemboweled by wild animals last night over and over and over, so skinning me alive didn’t make me nervous.

“Oh, if it isn’t General Zhou,” my voice was so scratchy, I couldn’t recognize it. “Um, I thought you planned to make haste to Xi’an. What are you doing here?”

“Come down.”

I chuckled with giddiness, it was a matter of satisfaction and pride to see that I had succeeded at angering Zhou Liang even if I did not have the final victory. And it was also a sort of sleep deprived craze, otherwise I probably wouldn’t find it this funny.

“No!”

“You-” his hands clenched. “You’re causing a lot of trouble! I promise to drag you down that tree myself if you-"

“How did you find me? No...why did you find me? I was just going for a walk in the woods, ahaha...”

He put a hand over his face. When he took it away, he seemed to have calmed. His boot stepped onto the dead tree, and for a moment he looked over the white roots with admiration.

“I hired a huntsman and tracked you. Horses don’t often gallop on the paths here...yours left obvious tracks. As for the villagers, they don’t go into the forest other than hunting or cutting wood.”

Zhou Liang took another stride up the tree.

I glanced around and said, "I don't see any huntsman?"

"You were asleep, so I sent him back. Is that important?"

I never even considered these things, but I suppose for a clumsy person like myself, it was impossible to cover my tracks from the start. My chest deflated from the sense of defeat, but I didn’t have enough energy to feel too much vexation. But I did have enough energy to continue to anger him. 

I gripped the squash in my lap, smiled and said, "Don't come up here, or I'll throw my squash at you. I threw it at a vicious animal last night and it was completely scared off."

Zhou Liang actually laughed angrily at this threat, then there was a creak as he made it to below the branch I was on.

“You look awful,”  he said. He was reaching towards my arm, about to pull me down. “Hold on, I’ll-!"

I had leaned in the opposite direction and fell right off the branch.

An arm caught my waist and slammed me against the tree. I lost my senses for a while, and when I came to, Zhou Liang had was grimacing, his chest lifting heavily.

“Fang Shuren—I swear…if you pull anything like this again, I’ll tie up your hands and feet, and you won't be allowed to do anything on your own anymore.”

Closing my eyes to rest felt so good I could almost sense my soul ascending up into the heavens, but he slapped the side of my face lightly.

“Don’t sleep! Are you listening?!”

I mumbled, “What…? Why can't I sleep?” 

"It looks like you'll just drop dead if you sleep."

He then dragged me over and folded my arms and stuffed me against his chest, he climbed down the tree, dropping off a branch to the ground. He stayed kneeling, lowering me so my back and head were propped up.

“This is…” I felt him lift my arm, then a light sting, “You were bit by something? What was it?”

Lifting my eyelids, I saw an abstract splotch of red on my forearm wobbling here to there. That was on my arm? …I didn’t even notice. So was I actually attacked last night, but I was too delerious to really remember or know that happened? So my squash actually failed me?? There was nothing but confusion buzzing in my head.

"Fang Shuren!" 

“I don’t know…” my throat hurt to answer.

Although he sounded like he was concerned, I just didn’t care much about anything now and just felt slightly perturbed that he wouldn’t let me sleep. I heard him shake a waterskin, then there was a chill sting on my arm.

“So it wasn’t from an animal? If it is, that’s dangerous. It could get infected very easily.”

Pitifully, I said, “I don’t remember…can you…take my squash? It’s not safe.”

Zhou Liang was looking at me like I'd gone crazy without a doubt, and maybe I have. 

“Okay, fine..." he sighed. "You…just have some water.”

There was a long silence. So much that I near forgot Zhou Liang was here. I was listening to the forest when I felt his hand slide up my back to under my neck. This was like the sensation of a crawling spider, to make it worse, his hand ended up placed against the most vital part of a person, their throat. I squirmed with an unconscious fear.

Oh...that's right, the water. I was supposed to take a drink, but forgot seconds after being told. Is he going to try and force me now? Ah…I’m really too tired for this. I think I might be getting vision problems, everything is a strange shape and color and tilting…

“Fang Shuren, don’t be stubborn…”

I almost jumped awake, Zhou Liang didn’t sound as though he were about to force me to do anything, instead, his tone had switched to what a person would use to whisper sweet nothings to a child. A low and reassuring coax that made my very soul shudder in horror.

He continued, “What am I supposed to do if you die while I carry you back? I’ll admit, I looked down on you these past days, but I won’t be as rude from now on…and your gourd squash, I’ll take it with me.”

I opened my eyes wide at his face…huh? Is this the same person as moments ago? How sickening! I tried to push him farther, but my arms could hardly move. He used a hand to caress the side of my face, sending shivers down my spine.

“Come on, now that I’ve caught you...” he held up the water again, slowly placing it against my chapped lips.

I furrowed my brow. Feeling the cool liquid touching my lips made it much more tempting. And it didn’t help that Zhou Liang was acting so disgusting. How much longer would he keep at it if I didn’t drink? I grabbed the flask with my hand and started drinking. Reviving my parched throat like a desert receiving rain, the water was wondrous. Tiny specks of light danced in my vision amongst the vibrant forest, a beautiful and dizzying sight and I felt rather content.

“We’re going,” Zhou Liang hoisted me onto his back, so I wasn’t a sack of rice this time. “Hold onto my neck.”

I followed what he said, still watching the spots of white flit about.

“Those mercenaries aren’t pleased with you,” said Zhou Liang, “but they’re imprisoned until they pay the damages done to Shi village. It’s fortunate I didn’t make some of their heads roll…then you’d have blood on your hands.”

 I was half listening.

“Are you also called Du Zhong*? How do you come up with all these lies?”

“Why so noisy…” I complained.

“You also used Qin Fengge’s money and have to pay it back.”

His talk was endless, and my ears rung, eventually I just passed out, vaguely wondering if he took my squash with him or not.

…

“Third Young Master¹Means that Fang Shuren had two older brothers, Madam Fang said we can go out and buy some snacks today.”

A-Yao, our attendant since we were infants, was always extremely patient, and her voice soft as feathers. I was overjoyed, throwing my chubby little hands into the air with impatience for her to grab and hold them. 

“Settle down!” teased my second brother, “what, don’t you already get to eat sweets every day? It’s why you’re fat.”

He was also coming with us to buy sweets, but there was nothing I could do about that but pout my lip.

“Not fat. I’m not fat!”

He latched onto my cheeks with two hands and started pulling each one. “Then why do you have such a fat face?!”

“It's nooot!”

"It is."

"Noooo!"

It was probably just because I was small and more adorable than my brother that he always made fun of me and called me names, but I would never really know if he meant it at this point. My mother was sitting at the table outside, watching the scene.

“Shh. Settle down.” She did not deny my fatness, then spoke to my brother. “Ah-Min, your little brother loves sweets, and he hasn’t gone to the market to pick them out himself before. You’re looking forward to it, aren’t you, Shu’er²Endearing way to call Shuren's given name, by adding "er"?”

I nodded my head violently. “Mn, mn³A way of saying 'yes', or agreeing, in Chinese, it's common enough I figure I'd just add it in as is. ! Mom, how many can I get?”

My mother gave Ah-Yao a side glance, her thin hair stirring from a breeze. “Three, otherwise you’ll get a stomachache.”

Ah-Yao nodded wordlessly in acknowledgement, pupils darting about, and her hands were turning white from clenching at her sides as though me going to pick out candies was a momentous event.

Mother repeated, “You only get three, so think over it carefully.”

“Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!”

I grabbed my brother’s sleeve and started pulling.

“Knock it off!” he slapped my head, but held my hand anyway. 

Right before we went out the front gate, my Mom reminded, “Remember to stay with Ah-Yao and your second brother. Watch your speech and don’t be improper.”

Ah-Yao gave an anxious bow and followed us out.

Being able to choose and buy what you want to eat for the first time is truly a splendorous occasion. It’s like that for any child, perhaps a little less for the wealthy spoiled ones, but still holds. My second brother was two years older than me, so he pretended not to care as much. He and Ah-Yao were waiting while I picked out a stick of tanghulu⁴Sweet candied applies from the stand. Red and shiny and very bulbous, exactly what any toddler would adore, but picking one out was a troublesome, for all the sugar-glazed treats appeared exactly the same and were all made from the very same red hawthorn fruit.

I heard brother and A-Yao talking behind me.

“A-Yao, is that the Duke’s carriage?”

The crowd was parting to the side, it must be nobility that could afford to be transported like that.

I was still picking out my snack when my small ears heard a loud, strange noise. One moment it was the talking, clops of the ox and wheels churning, but the next it was silent. There was only a crunching and scrunching noise that sounded like a melon got beat in.

Then there were hysterical shrieks and gasping, low murmuring, and a stray dog started barking.

“Did she push him…?!”

I turned around to see A-Yao crumpled on the ground with red stuff on the bottom on her skirt. Tears were flowing out of her eyes and she was gripping her head and wailing at the top of her lungs.

“A-Yao what’s wrong? Don’t cry…” I repeated this over and over and over. At some point, I realized there was something else not quite right. “Where’s Gege⁵Simple way to say 'brother' in Chinese?”

A-Yao could only wail and cry even louder. The fancy cart of the noble had stopped and the man driving it was angered and alarmed, but what could he say and whom could he blame? The whole capital seemed agitated and wrong…that in the short time my back was turned everything changed.

That thing underneath the carriage sort of looked like my brother. It let out a long, distressing wheeze. There was blood pooling under my feet and the mushy pink flesh of a head lie scattered. A little was stuck on the bottom of my shoe. Not a sound came out my mouth.

My father’s heard the rumors and had A-Yao flogged forty times. I watched as she screamed and writhed and drooled on the ground as the strikes fell…but was she really the one who pushed him?

It can't be, right?