Year 2915

 

I put down the book I had finished and picked up another one.

Another four years had gone by and I was now 5 years old. Despite wanting to change the way my life went, I realized I didn’t really have many options. I was a five-year-old girl, hated by her mother and ignored by her father. With no allies around me, there wasn’t much I could do.

Except to not fall in love with that person.

He was the reason I was executed. Once I fell for him, everything began to spiral downwards. My entire life revolved around him and everything I did, was for him. Sometimes I wondered why. Why did I fall for him? Why did I ever think he would love me back? 

He was the first person to show me kindness. In my life where I was ignored at every corner, he showed me kindness and care. I suppose it was inevitable that I fell headfirst for him. It certainly didn’t help that he was handsome.

I sighed aloud, realizing that none of the words in the book was entering my head.

“Lydia,” a cold voice interrupted my thinking.

I looked up to see my mother standing at the door. Well, that was new.

“My, my, what’s the occasion, mother?”

Her eyes narrowed at my tone, “Who’s been teaching you to talk like that?”

I wanted to say, ‘Certainly not you’, but I held back. I placed my book down and spoke again, “Do you need something, mother?”

“Your father will be back this evening. Make yourself presentable. Do not embarrass me.”

I raised a brow but stayed silent. I mean, would you look at that? I get to see my father for the first time since I was born. Yes. I was 5 years old, but I hadn’t seen my father once. Amazing, isn’t it?

The fact that my first life was already repeating itself scared me a little.

“Your reply?” her voice took on an annoyed tone.

I remained silent, looked down at my book, and began to say, “Y...”

But a fierce hand grabbed my chin and lifted my face, “When I’m talking to you, you look at me. Do you understand?”

She had drawn close to me at some point. I looked into her eyes and couldn’t resist smiling a little, “Yes.”

She frowned at me and tossed my chin away. Then she took out a handkerchief to clean her hand. I moved my jaw a little. She had held it so tight that I wondered if she wasn’t worried about leaving a mark.

She looked at the maid standing by the side and ordered, “Clean her up now.”

The maid shivered and nodded.

My mother spun around, leaving the room and the maid scuttled up to me. She reached out to touch me and I gazed at her. Seeing my eyes, the maid froze.

“What might you be doing?” I questioned with a lazy smile.

“M-Milady.”

“Yes?”

“I need to—”

“No.”

“Huh?”

“No,” I repeated and leaned back into the bed to continue reading. The maid looked at a loss for what to do. My mother wanted me to dress up and ‘impress’ the Duke, but I knew that was useless so why bother?

When evening came, I headed down the stairs, still dressed in a plain brown dress. I came face to face with my mother who looked aghast to see me.

“You—”

The door opened and my father walked in.

He looked just as I remember. Tall and muscular, with dark blue hair like my own, and fierce dark eyes.

“Welcome back, dear,” my mother called out sweetly.

He didn't even glance at us as he replied flatly, “Mm.”

I chuckled inwardly. Just as I expected. My mother nudged me, asking me to greet him as well. Meanwhile, the Duke was already starting to walk away. I considered it for a moment then I spoke, “Welcome back, Your Grace.”

He didn’t pause in his stride, but he gave another flat reply.

I glanced at my mother and saw that her eyes had lit up. I shook my head.

'Why does she even bother?'

I bowed in farewell and excused myself before my mother could say anything. I closed the door to my room and took two steps forwards. Then I spun around and began to count.

5...4...3...2...1….The door flung open and my mother barged in.

“You ungrateful bastard. Didn’t I ask you not to embarrass me?!”

Oh, she hasn’t changed at all. I couldn’t help the sneer that graced my lips, “Ungrateful? What should I be grateful for?”

“Ha. I must look easy now. Even a brat is testing me,” as those words fell, she raised her hand to slap me.

I could’ve dodged it, but I didn’t. My cheek stung and I felt a rusty taste in my mouth. While I laughed at my fate, I mocked her with my eyes, “Let me guess. Father ignored you again?”

The shock in her eyes was palpable.

“You know, mother. Sometimes I wonder why I even call you mother. You’ve done nothing for me.”

She seemed too stunned to reply.

“I suppose you want me to get father to pay attention to you,” I massaged my cheek at this point and cocked my head, “But sadly, Father doesn’t care about me, just like you.”

I saw her raise her hand again and this time, I stepped to the side.

She exploded with anger, “I gave birth to you, you little shi—”

“Oh, yes, yes. I actually forgot that for a second.”

Her eyes narrowed and she slowly lowered her hand, “Who are you?”

I was a little stunned at the question. Then I burst out laughing, “Who am I?” I almost keeled over with laughter then I abruptly stopped laughing, “I’m your daughter, of course.”

She snorted, “My daughter doesn’t speak like that.”

“Because I haven’t bothered to,” I looked her in the eye, “I was going to go along quietly but I realized…why bother?”

“Y—”

“Your Grace,” I cut her off, “I could have dodged that slap just now, but I didn’t. That slap is the first and last time I will allow you to touch me. Do you understand?”

“Hah, do you thi—” she began.

“I don’t think, I know. There are many ways to destroy a lady’s reputation. As a lady yourself, I assume you’re aware of this?” I stopped massaging my cheek and let my hand fall.

Once my hand moved away, her eyes widened before fear colored her face.

“How did you…how...”

I rubbed my nose and walked to my bed. Taking a seat, I looked at her again. She was looking at me like I was some demon.

What I did was simple. I made the simple slap on my cheek turn into something worse. It looked far worse than it was supposed to. The bruise would wane after some time but anyone who saw it would be horrified. A little trick I learnt in my first life.

Anyways, it was one thing to slap your child. It was another thing to slap them so hard it bruised their entire face. Especially if that child happened to be the daughter of Duke Blackburn. My mother’s position in the Blackburn family wasn’t very stable. Especially since the Duke didn’t touch her for almost 7 years so she would be crucified.

My mother had slapped me numerous times in my previous life but the first time she slapped me was much later than this life. It had been a minor argument. I had refused to wear a dress she picked out and she slapped me for it. And afterward, she began to slap me more often, like she’d gotten addicted to the feel.

But I digress.

“I know we won’t get along. So let’s stay in our lanes. Hm? Mother.”

Her face was scrunched up and she looked like she was trembling in anger. She looked at my face like she was searching for something then she froze. She spun around and left the room without a word.

Now, I couldn’t read minds, but I was pretty sure she didn’t care about what I said. She seemed a little threatened but she was probably going to go investigate the maids around me and look for who’s putting stuff in my head. Not that there was anybody.

I tapped my cheek and glanced at the book I was reading earlier. Honestly, the idea of running away was starting to look very appealing. I would if not for the fact that this house was that of a General which meant it was heavily guarded. You can't enter easily and you can't leave easily.

I looked at the door where my mother had just left from.

I was 5 years old. In one year, I would be meeting him for the first time.