She let herself cry, if for no other reason than her memories seemed like they were all of bad things now, of her home and family life being so ... so wrong. And even if wrong, the memories might be so incomplete, so not finished, she may as well be without any memories.

And also because she felt hungry, she didn't have access to the space there, so she could not just walk into the kitchen and prepare something. This is why she needed some kind of help; she needed a way to make her own house here; but how? This ground was hard stone.

Plus, she knew she still had no name. She had to pick a name; even if she wanted to know her own name from the last life, she cannot recall it. At least someone in her memories would have called her by her name. Aah what about her friends, her fellow six or seven year old friends from the school. Especially the one girl who showed her the online games things, showed her how to sign up for them and edit her player stuff and play at 'grinding' things.

Jenny ― this was her best friend's name; she could remember this with no problem. Why did she not remember even Jenny calling her by name? Oh, by the nicknames she used in the online games, yeah; but, no 'real' name. But Jenny said too, it's fun to pretend to be adult but sometimes a little girl had to pick another name, just to not use their real name.

"Fine then, *sniff*, fine I will just forget trying to know my name. Or even not think these weird gods and goddesses care anymore-"

At a subtle pop and puff of air from somewhere beside her, she saw-

Another doorway, with a stairs that went down into the rocky ground. It just, appeared right there, right at the very first place she stood when arriving.

A small faint dialog box like in one of those games appeared too, with only the one word "ENTER" and a curly arrow to point inward and downward.

"Am I ... supposed to ... go in? Go inside this, and go down?"

The one word looked like it grew larger, and the arrow shook harder, beckoning her forward.

"... w, well okay, I don't have anything here-"

---

Unlike with the other realm, this stairs did not just go straight, and not even for just one floor's worth of steps. But it curled around, around and around, until maybe she had gone ... hmm, maybe ten flights? She lost count of the steps, not caring anyway, as long as she could come back up them. It would quickly have grown dark to go down this far, and be away from the 'light' showing at the surface of the world, but she saw the glowy stones cut with many facets on them, shining with light of their own. Not a trace of rodents or insects or even dust could be seen, this was a perfect circular stairs going down to nowhere.

At the end, the final door, she entered into a familiar place she'd seen only once before-

"Hello again, young child," said the very old man with the curled beard and whiskers.

"H, hello ― aah I get to see you again? Um, but you are ... are you the one the others called the First One?"

He blinked at her words, then broke into a grin. "First One? Yeah, I'm that. I was ... the first. the most powerful of all of them. But," he let a trace of a frown crease his eyes and cheeks too, "that was so long ago, I've probably been forgotten by now."

"No, no, not forgotten ― I thought when they mentioned you, they were maybe afraid or something. Like, you could still come back, and ... and punish them, or something."

"Hmm, is that so. Maybe so. Yes well if I did, I would be certain to be knocking a few million oversized heads back down to size, that's for sure," he gave a more moderate look to his cheeks and eyes. "But, anyway. I think from what I see of you in the other world, you feel abandoned? Like the deity or deities who should be watching you, just ... left you behind?"

"Yes. And here's what happened to me-"

Probably most like an eager child now, she told and told and told all the things that had happened to her since she had 'died' and been in the other place, at least since she'd first seen this elder man. Through it all, she saw he just listened and took it all in, to finally lean back and stare up into the expanse of sky. Because she wanted to tell it all, she said everything that came to her mind, and all the things she remembered now too.

"Aah they just do not learn properly, do they young girl. Hmm maybe I should come back then," he added at long last.

"Um, then, First One-"

"Please. Call me Grandpa, or Jehave if you want to use a name; maybe Jay for short. Just nothing like 'old man' or something."

"Jay. Why can I not remember a name, my own name, to call myself?"

He looked at her intently, seeing something in her, then looked around for a second.

"Some of your past, you may still face some trauma or ― well call it a strong emotion ― if you were to remember too much, too soon ― it will hurt you too. I am not saying you cannot know; only that, for now ... it may have to stay this way."

"But ... why?"

"This ... Camembert ... he's the current system administrator or something? I remember when I first developed the first trace of it, worked out the source code, all neat and proper and stuff. I had to make so many choices, of what to do for this or that situation, to handle problems that came up. Because sooner or later it would become too much for me alone, I also let other lesser ones have a try at it, so not one person would have to bear the responsibility alone."

"... ugh, yeah ... I know all about alone, Jay."

"Yes, I bet you do by now. Still, some of the choices I had to make in those first souls I took care of, they were so emotionally damaged, I had to basically withhold their own memories from them too, until each one could at a later time come to terms with the tragedies that happened. I do not want to say more, because I would rather see you having fun and growing too, while you yet have some time with a 'childlike innocence' remaining with you. Do not feel like you have to move on so quickly, toward becoming what the rest of any society considers an adult."

"But Cam said, puberty will happen to me too, and then sex and I could get pregnant and-"

"All of this is so far down the proverbial road of life, as your state of mind is still that of being a child; you do not have to think so much of it now. Or are you now saying you really would like to have chosen to be a boy instead? This can be arranged; but if what you were thinking and telling me a moment ago, this 'Nissy' would probably be wanting to use you, to escape her punishment, and then go back to the way she was. If Cam was there to 'hold' her there in the way I know of, she cannot escape unless she somehow distracts him too, and evades his grasp."

"Yeah, um, Cam said something too about her using me for sex too, like how she might not care about me but be using me. Would, would she try this with Cam too, and then escape from that?"

"She may try," Jehave admitted. "But if this Cam is half the deity I am, or even half the deity my own first student was, then he'll do the right thing at the right time, and keep her there. This Cam ... I might think could be on my side in my return battle through the realms, but Nissy ... not so much. Not that any one of the billions of deities has the power to escape my grasp-"

"Then I kinda do hope you come back to those realms, so things can be better," she sighed. "I am tired of feeling so alone, I don't know what to do anymore."

"I know, child; how well I know this." He leaned into a gentle hug, his beard and whiskers scratchy on her bare arms but at least her soft tender body had this tee shirt. At least down to the parts of her that were so exposed.

"Can I get some more clothes? I miss being in that small place with the bath and the clean clothes-"

"Here, at least this much may help," he said, making a pair of swimming shorts appear in his hand. "At least for what I think you mean."

She blinked, and considered what he handed to her. "Yeah ... it will cover me."

Hastily she pulled them on, and remained standing here with Jay watching. Good fitting swimming trunks, a medium green like she might see on some leaves in this same forest in fact, and she felt she could move much better now, without worrying over what got shown, if she should meet someone else.

"But I still do not know what to pick for a name. Do you have any thoughts, Jay?"

He smiled calmly and patiently.

"Well I do sort of have a 'master list' of all the names of girls such as you; here, look through it while I also tell you some important things I want you to know too."

A new screen appeared before her, showing such a huuuuuuuuge listing of names. Her eyes bugged out as she tried to count all of them showing on a screen; and this was only page one of, of, over a million pages.

"Don't even worry about counting; it's growing in number even as you try, because people are always making up new names for people and places and things. Just, scroll through for a while-"

---

Much later, she found also she could push one of the buttons at the side of the list, sorting by either alphabetical order or chronological order. She preferred the latter, showing names from the oldest to most recent, of the names from the last time they were given to or taken by an entity in the ... strange word, said something like a meta verse.

What Jehave told her was interesting, and she listened to be sure of all of it; but she still paid more attention to the names list. As the names even from so old a time were given or taken, they would 'pop' disappear from the listing in their places, and reappear maybe at the end of the chronological listing. Or for the newly added names never before seen to this list, they might get added at the end anyway. So for now, she could look and consider names as they were, oldest to newest, only figuring those that popped out of the list she would again see, much further into it.

"Can I sort out those names which might mostly be for elf girl names, or ... do I still go through the whole list?"

"Either is fine; but for sorting, this other button-"

"Oh okay, I see thank you." And she continued, now with a much shorter list.

He chuckled. "You catch on real quick, it's nice to know this, but ... sometimes wait for an explanation too, okay? It might help in the future."

"... okay?"

"Trust me. Sometimes leaping to make a choice or reacting to something can be worse, if thinking you already understand the details. My own first student, clever as she was, only learned this the hard way, through experience. And it's possible, in the future you might actually meet my first student, Chun Fa, and she may tell you her tale."

She nodded; what he said really didn't need a reply, but she did know this now.

From all Jehave told her until now, she knew this place was something like in one of the games she played, sort of a mini lobby connected to a 'dungeon'. She might find doors in this place, which might allow her to go adventuring too, to gain some objects to use, even if she obtained anything from the 'Pay to Win' system. In truth, she might just only trust what she could gain from the work she put into it, not something obtained from the system the other deities had 'fixed' for her-

"So, the final point I need to have you know is, this place is like a 'game lobby' like you said, yes; but it's connected to the same forest you saw as the 'third floor' from the other realm. So the goblins you saw earlier, they are still there, in that area. and as you are now ― a few of them could swarm you, and overwhelm you, and then you alone could not stop them from having sex with you. Even if you did not want it, they would not stop."

"Then I only have to stay out of their way. But it would be an adventure like in the games!" she squealed with barely restrained glee. "I'm fine with trying to have an adventure. No I don't want to lose my virginity by one of them like this, not to a goblin, not be pregnant by a goblin; but. I kill them, they can't do that to me, right? If this life is like those games, an elf like me should be capable of using a bow and arrow, right?"

"Yes, it should be ... but you don't have any bows or arrows yet, do you."

"... oh. Well then I will find one, or make one ... somehow."

"And, even if you did ― with only yourself, can you defeat all of them from a distance before they got close to you? I sense if you find a name for yourself, you might be able to get a companion, to go along with you. Just, be careful, is all I will add. Goblins in that forest, in any forest, and all other sorts of monster creatures ― they know sex, but they don't know love or romance. They just mate like crazy. If even one catches you out alone, they may either try to kill you outright, or have sex with you until you are pregnant with their monster spawn ― their children."

"I heard Cam say this before. The romance thing. What is romance? Not just sex, then, but more? The 'love' stuff? Like Mommy and Daddy saying they love you before bedtime, but more?"

"Yes, much more. A person or persons could have one without the other. Romance is more, the caring about and having feelings for another, and what one does to express it, or prove it, in their own way."

"Oh. Then it means a person should not do the sex things until they have the romance."

"Yes, I think so too, but in most realms now it seems the tendency is for couples to just go ahead without considering what romance or feelings are between them. Or that they mistake one for the other. This is also another reason I left the many realms; because so many of the others deities decided 'just let the mortal souls do as they please, their lives are so short anyway'. I don't want to be part of that; or, if I do come back ... this is one perspective I intend to force to be changed."

"But ... then ... Jay. How will I know if the romance is, um, right-"

"Hard to say for that. One side of it is in all persons having free will ― until we discuss the topic of slavery. Another aspect is lust. Aah I see you have heard this word also. Lust is all about what a person, him or her self, does to get their own happiness. The act of masturbation could be called lust for oneself; as is using another person for sex without caring for their side of a relationship, lust for them ― but for a person's own advantage. Even if one side or the other in a couple considers their partner, it's still too easy for either of them to infer what they want of the other person, to assume the other half is in the relationship for the same reason. As Cam told you ― if Nissy were to pull you into a sexual relationship, she would be using you for her own needs. She may even make you think she cared about you, but such a thing is something that would only be true if she didn't pull you into having sex with her, but let it be both of you wanting it together."

"I still, want to try, someday, for the romance ... and sex. Because Cam said it's supposed to be enjoyable!" Her cheeks burned from his words, and hers, but she knew maybe he was right. "I know if someone tries those things with me now, I'm ― I'm not ready yet-" she added hastily.

"Okay then; you are a good kid, you have a smart head on your shoulders. Have you picked out a name?"

"Sort of. I think like I have seen other players pick for their girl elf characters, I want a family name, and a personal name. Can I do that?"

"Yes, this is usually expected of elves who grow a community; the sooner a single elf creates their identity to form a clan or tribe, the better. You may have a long time yet before this is so evident, before you would gain any benefits from the name; but all the better if it works for you. It should be something you are willing to say, when introducing yourself to others."

"Okay, I got one then. I want to not say it until later though. And, I am ready to go exploring."

---

Jehave let her go about her business of exploring this place, as he disappeared from view and left her alone to her thoughts.

This might be the same 'forest' as the one she saw before; but she did not see or hear any other goblins, or other creatures ... other than the normal birds and insects making their usual calls. Maybe goblins and other monsters just didn't want to be seen ... and this made them be so dangerous. They see you before you can see them.

"Eh which way, where is the north in this space-"

It didn't seem to matter; from what Daddy had said, one could tell by the place of the sun in the sky. But here, it had no sun, only an all sky glow about this place. As if a perpetual mist or something high in the sky made the light seem to come from everywhere above her.

"... map? ... game map? ... uh, guess not-"

A low growl off in the distance reminded her of the sound of a lion from a television show.

Somehow feeling like she was watched, she crouched low to the ground, looking around as noiselessly as she could. Yes this might be a dangerous place to be; any animal in the forest could maybe see her before she could see them in the trees, so they could chase her like this. Not so hard for a little girl to understand; the nature program showed the lion hunting its prey too, so she knew some creatures might be planning ahead of what she knew of their existence.

In the direction of what she would call 'southwest' maybe could be heard water flowing, lots and lots of water. Hungry and thirsty too, she decided: she would have to go that way, if she wanted something to eat or drink.

Step by step, crawling on the ground even on her hands and knees, she made slow progress ― progress was the word some games used to mean the player or the avatar got better then ― she made progress to the water. A path through the trees had formed by almost constant use of animals and monsters maybe, through this place, but still she moved forward, keeping her body low. At the sides of the trail, some bushes with berries on them grew, and as she reached for one, a screen popped up to tell her what these things were.

• ITEM DETECTED: Purple Jungleberry
  High in natural sugars, this fruit will sate any creature who eats it for a time.
  All biological activities related to digestion and elimination are sped up.
  But two hours after eating it, the one consuming it will be twice as hungry.
  The hunger will continue until eating another of this kind of fruit again.
  Any other food will only reduce the hunger to half of what it was before.
  After a whole day of not eating this fruit, the hunger returns to normal.
  Jungleberry fruits come in many colors; each color has their own effect.

Two hours, that seemed like a really long time. Like, from the time of going into the school in the morning, until letting out for the day? No ... then maybe more like from going into school, until going to lunch? It might be, and this still might be a really long time. No, maybe not that long either. Which made her worry she would have to eat again, so soon. Would this be something she should eat, or not?

Softly, one came to her lips, and she sniffed, and then licked at the fruit. Then bit into it. Mm, super sweet! Okay it was decided, even if it made her more hungry later, she would fill up on these fruits.

---

Half an hour later (at least, maybe it was, she did not know) she found herself at the water's edge. A large catlike creature across the far side of the river stared back for a second while she stood fixed in place, then it left to turn into the trees and vanished.

After another few quiet seconds, she knelt down to the water's edge-

'Is this my reflection? How I look as a girl now?'

She thought maybe she was pretty. Maybe more pretty than Bethany had become. Her own face had a more slender look, the ear tips curving so gently at the upper parts out from the head, and she saw she even wriggled them so slightly too. Her teeth were all fine too, nothing wrong with them, not a one of them loose or having a gap or anything. Her nose might be a small bit tinier, more narrow across where it became her cheeks; Daddy always said she shouldn't stick her fingers in her nose anyway, and especially not fingers she also sucked on.

A gurgle lower in her belly let her know, she might have to find a toilet soon. Oh. No toilets in this place.

But when the family camped the time Uncle Herb could not go too, that one weekend they went on vacation without Uncle Herb, Daddy showed her where they might have to pee and poop outside, in nature. She had to learn to dig a hole, hold her body just so, and go, and then remember to cover it over again. She had to know where a stick was so she could scrape through the dirt that time; now, she had plenty of sticks, fallen twigs and branches from the forest.

Scraping the hole quickly, she pulled off her swimming trunks, wet too because she didn't make a hole in time, then squatted and let her body do the rest in the ground. After, she found a handful of leaves within her reach, to wipe her behind with, the front side not wet enough to care about now, and then she covered over the mess.

But in the same covering motion, she heard another noise from nearby.

"Gubba gubbua-"

Goblins!

She froze, at the same time the small group of four little green boys came into the clearing here from a different trail. Four males, more naked than she was on top, but the bottom half having some small cloth over their parts, and looking like behind the cloth they had this erection that Cam told to her to see what the boys had. She might only be a head taller than the tallest one too; they were not so different in height. One held a simple stone knife, the other three had wooden clubs, more like branches she had passed just a few feet away.

They saw her, and ... their faces, they turned to ones of anger! Racing toward her, she had only to grab the branch she just used to dig in the dirt, to cover her poop and pee, and swing it as hard as she could.

"No! You will not have sex on me!" her screech grew louder and angrier.

These goblins might have been young, maybe just at puberty and now out in the forest, and trying their first hunt or something. She remembered some words of this saying how goblins were 'tribal' and might hunt in packs of a few at a time, earning their keep in a tribe, earning their equipment out on the hunt, trying to outsmart their prey. Well; she would not be their prey, she had only to outsmart them. But how!

She would keep swinging her branch ― ah a rotten branch, the one bigger guy swung a stone knife and the branch broke. Really? The stone knife broke the branch? But at least she had a half of the branch to hold in each hand.

All of the goblins were salivating, like they were hungry, but she knew why ― they looked at her exposed part 'down there', and she also saw their parts grow bigger too, as they smiled like Uncle Herb did some of the time.

"Eew."

The smallest one of them just shot out a sticky whitish greenish strand of something from his p, penis, and the rest of them cackled. They figured maybe that meant one less to do those sex things with her? The rest still touched themselves, on this erection of theirs, and circled around her, holding their weapons. She couldn't watch all sides, and sooner or later one of them would-

BAM-

One of them hit her from behind; not as hard as she feared, but still she felt it and it did hurt her shoulder. She swung back with the branch, and somehow knocked the guy over. Then one from the other side, he got knocked down too, but got up again right away. The first one she hit might be dazed, so he didn't jump up yet, but she turned to the one next ready to attack, and swung but he jumped back.

Like in a game, these things were acting tricky.

"Stay there and let me hit you!" she called. "Why aren't you like in the game!"

The one standing back seemed like the boss, maybe like the bully boy in her class who had told everyone what to do until the teacher came back into the room. He called out to the others, getting them to move more to his words.

"I need a friend too ― where's my friend Jenny to help at a time like this!"

It was always Jenny. Jenny was an adventurous one, in games and in real life. Well, Jenny always chose the human warrior girls or sometimes human warrior boys, and told her she had to be an elf girl ... just because. She didn't object to Jenny's demands, because she liked Jenny, and Jenny liked her ... most of the time-

Oh. Even in the middle of fighting with these goblins, she wondered if maybe Jenny was only using her as a friend, because it seemed maybe Jenny didn't have friends in all the other boys and girls at school. Like how maybe Nissy might try to use her ― she knew what words Jenny used before; so if Nissy said the same things, in these next days-

But still. The things Jenny said in playing the game did make sense, and may even help her live to end this fight. She recalled some of those things, tried to duck and roll and avoid them, while somehow only knocking this one or that one out for a few minutes. Even the boss guy, she knocked his blade away for a while, and got it before he could, then knocked him back again, and stabbed at one of the others who came too close to her.

Before she knew it ― she won. The last one fell, and did not get back up. But unlike the game, none of the bodies disappeared from her view.

"... yay me ... ?" she tried to copy Jenny's victory pose, but maybe it didn't work so well ― standing here, exposed, in this place.

---

She collected their items into a pile, looking at the clubs and the one stone knife, and their ... eew gross, their loincloths ― that's the word, that's what the status screen showed. Did she even need a loincloth for any reason? Loincloths covered in so much of the same whitish green fluids, Cam said it is sperm ― to cover the genitals of sentient beings. Sentient meant smarts. Did this mean goblins were sentient or not? And if sentient, how were they also monsters and listed separate from the other sentient races she could have become?

Her own swimming trunks stayed wet from her pee because she couldn't dig a hole quick enough and take them off soon enough; so she wasn't ready to wear wet shorts so soon yet. She could wait for them to dry; a small time more without pants on would not hurt her. Besides. She'd just defeated four goblins, too, like this.

Intent on the heap of items before her, she tried deciding: did she want to take this stone blade along, or did she want to try a stronger branch, or some other item to be made into a weapon? Jenny always said, some of the hardest choices in the game was in what things you want to put on, to what class you wanted to be. Some players could only be this or that class, and could only have this or that item on them to use. Did she want to bash something, or slash something, or use magic, or aim from further away-

That. The last one. An elf would have need of a bow and many arrows. Currently, none of these goblins had a bow, or anything that could be aimed from one; but even if they did, she would want one of better sort of strength than that anyway.

But no, even if she did find or make a bow, she would always have to stay far from the target, or they would (as Jenny said) overrun her ... and here she didn't have Jenny to run interference for her. So. She would have to handle both parts. Fire from far back, and hit with some blade or pole or something, when up close. Jenny, help-

A body leapt onto her back-

"Guah!" came the guttural cry of victory.

She was beyond afraid; she was terrified-

The creature at last let go, and rolled off of her back, and walked away chattering and cackling about something. And she could only turn over, crying, face upward toward a fake sky, and then hope this stuff got out of her.

She cried. Like never before, not even when crying because she missed Mommy, as this whitish greenish stuff leaked out of her, mixed with the brown poop and a little pee too.

No; she had to stop crying. Crying made you weak, or not notice things. Jenny told her to stop crying the first time she played the online game; her character got knocked down and could not move for a few seconds. In the same amount of time, Jenny's character was moving all over the place, trying to fight off the creatures around her until she could again stand up ― and then she was fine and didn't need to cry then. But in this time, Jenny had shouted she should not be crying, to try to be ready for moving again.

Maybe it was like that. The goblin did not do some sex with her, he only put his half of the baby stuff into her behind. This was not in her private part, not the place Cam had told her would make a baby. None of his fluids had leaked to her little slit, because it still was wet from her peeing slightly in fear as the goblin leapt away. Well then ... she should be able to just, let it wash out of her, force it out of her by trying to go more-

Even if she had the thought to do that, to think it and to do it were two different things. Can a girl force herself to go potty, when her thoughts or feelings were so scary? She didn't know, she could only try to poop or pee or something, now-

What if she went to the water and tried to wash it ... but what if that same thing washed this stuff into her vagina instead of out, and she got pregnant from trying to prevent it? She could not have this. So, it meant she would have to ... not move so much from this place or it might go inside her, she must try to wash it off somehow ... but the only liquid she had to do anything with was ... her own pee?

She felt down there, cupped her hand over the part where the pee came out, and felt it had not had this gooey slimy mass of sperm yet; but further behind that, it was there, where her longest finger reached. Ick; she already did not want to be touching that stuff, and it did not come off her finger when she tried to shake it off to one side. But she had to do something, before something more happened next. So she cupped her palm and fingers over this private place, and ... pushed to pee, all that she could.

She felt it working, somehow. Her pee splashed on her hand, ran down her fingers, washed off the icky stuff, and splashed back onto her body to wash this away slowly too. At least it pushed that further away from the front part of her body, away from where it could enter where it should not be!

But now, to do something with this sperm, still inside her butt. With a separate leaf each time, she tried to wipe, and go more, and wipe more. After that, go wash in the river, let the water wash it all from her rear and flow down the stream. Maybe this time, she got it all? She would not ever let this happen again. Only hoping, none of the goblins or other creatures let their sperm go into the water from upstream-

Before, she was worried of a goblin doing something more than this. Now, she hated the goblins even existed ... even forever.

She would hunt every last one she could ever find, until they were gone. She swore it, as an elf girl ... to the last days of her life in this world!

This elf girl will hunt all goblins, from the first one ... to the last one.

---

After finally pulling on the swimming trunks she'd soaked in the river and squeezed as dry as possible ― dry or not, she dared not keep them off any more ― she sat, thinking more on things.

That goblin. He was the first; her first.

The First One.

The First One to touch her in such a ― what's the word the adults would say ― sexual way. Is this right? This word was the kind of word the adults might use, when describing what they do with each other? Jehave said it too, 'sexual relationship', she didn't know this but thought it meant a relationship only using sex as the meaning. Using the word sex before the word way, to mean what he did was meant for sex, but not sex, but the same kind of meaning?

The First One? Was it so she should feel something for the creature, or the first time of having this happen? Uncle Herb said ... well he said a lot of things she didn't want to think about now ... but he said once, 'the first one was supposed to be special to a girl', but Daddy slapped him so hard. First one what, first time something fun happened, or first person she did something fun with? She had not understood a single bit of it at the time; but for now, she did get it. He said girl ― not just a person in specific, not even to include a boy, but girl. But then someone else said something like it, for a different thing, 'the first one was supposed to be the hardest'; and thinking of what this may mean, she felt confused again.

This was not romance. A human or elf, a smart person, could not really romance a goblin, a monster. Romance with another of the same race, mostly yes ― but with a goblin, no. They just ... like Jehave said. They would just try to have sex when they could. Maybe this was all they ever did, in life ― be born, eat, hunt, sex, eat, hunt, sex, eat, hunt, and more sex too. And make children. Romance meant as Jehave said, caring for another person, but this 'first one' did not care about her, but used her body for his own need ― not romance, maybe lust? No, not even lust, but something ... worse.

Lust then she thought might only be if he knew her more than he did. Instead of just coming across her here the one time, if he saw her more times and maybe had feelings for her but those feelings just meant what he could do to her, each time. That is lust.

Somehow, she's tired. Tired, and she wanted to sleep, but not sleep here because if she did then more goblins would find her and then after that- she would be pregnant. Or wait, she did not have the men, mens, um, the 'period' thingy. She felt the pain earlier, but this pain went away when her body changed from a human to an elf. So then the period did not happen, for this body? Good; she cannot get pregnant even if the goblin did put it in her vagina then. But, she didn't want to risk it, for fear she might be wrong.

Her thoughts ran to scary things. Things Cam and Jay might have only just given a hint of, things they could not say in full, of the things to happen in sex or mas- um, well when things happened with the body parts. Or when a person touches another person, when two people want to, or one person wants to but the other one does not ― sort of like her and the goblin? She did not want to; yet he wanted to so much, so he did it, because he had more strength than her. He did it, and then left her alone. He didn't want to kill her? Why would he. Maybe he did not know he put it in the wrong hole for what he meant to do; maybe he thought she would be pregnant from this, and he did not want to hurt some girl who might carry his baby, to make more of his family. But why leave her here if he thought she would be pregnant?

That one. The tallest one of the four goblins; as he walked away she made a note of the details about him. The staggered walk, still dripping some fluids from the penis that again got hard; a large cut in the left arm, maybe from fighting some other creature out there before and then healing slow; and the way the tip of his right ear looked like it had been bit off one whole inch. All signs she would keep an eye open for this same goblin.

And, kill him.

A very scary thought. Not kill in a game way, but kill in person, face to face, in this life.

Because she had to do it.

... but first she had to crawl back to the doorway with what items she could carry or drag along, and get back up the stairs. Three clubs, one knife, four washed off loincloths, two rough sewn purses with some seeds and dried meat and more of those fruits, and one pair of leather moccasin type shoes.

Who knows how soon she will want to return.