After getting off the bus, Jack walked the last few hundred meters to college. He took his right arm out of his hoodie’s pocket and checked the time. It was just about 9 AM. He sighed. He really would’ve rather still been at home, in the comfort of his bed. Especially considering what was going on today…

But he really had to return this book to Jeanine, he couldn’t leave his friend hanging for even one more day. After the rush of exams, he needed something to unwind, and so she offered him a book she just got done reading. Jack usually wasn’t a huge book person, but he figured it would be about as good a distraction as anything. He finished it in a single afternoon and struggled to remember much of the plot even now, just a week later. It was some sci-fi romp, entertaining enough, but it just didn’t grab him as much as he hoped.

Not wanting to seem like he had just rushed through it, he only messaged her two days later, telling her that he was done and that he’d return it as soon as he could. However, his usual clumsiness led to him forgetting to do so on each day up until this one. He really wished the same would have happened today, at least then he’d have an excuse to head back.

Jack didn’t quite know what to expect as he turned the last corner and headed to the gathering place on the campus, but what he saw was about what he feared. “Gender Swap Day” always felt like a silly concept to him, and silly was precisely what the scene playing out before him was.

The guys either wore frilly dresses and acted like a stereotypical princess or played out their presumed hotness and strutted around in skin-tight clothes. On the other hand, there was a bit more variety for the girls. Some of them just wore hoodies or other loose guy clothes akin to Jack’s usual attire, others worse suits that often looked comically big on them and a few got fake mustaches or other kinds of facial hair.

He glanced over at some of the guys again, and while most of them seemed to have shaved this morning, the traces were still obvious. He felt his chin with his hand, and got somewhat disappointed at the roughness. Another sigh. It was obvious that it would be there, just as it always was, and yet he couldn’t help but feel a little sad.

Overlooking the crowd again, it became clear to him that they were all just playing a role, fitting into a stereotype. The guys especially just reduced being a girl to a few obvious assets and played them up until it was hilarious to them, all for the entertainment of them and their friends. One of the guys in hot pants, a small top filled with obviously fake boobs and a disgustingly fake, blonde wig was strutting over an imaginary catwalk to the apparent amusement of the group. Good for him, even though it made Jack feel a little nauseous.
Most of the guys didn’t even bother shaving their arms or legs, which was especially apparent with the hotpants guy, considering how much he seemed to enjoy showing off his legs. Jack has always hated body hair of any kind, especially his own. But there wasn’t really a reason he should be shaving it off, if not even those guys did it for the occasion.

Among all those thoughts, Jack finally realized that he had been basically frozen in place since he entered the campus, watching the event fold out from afar. He really didn’t want to approach them. The thought just made him uncomfortable and he didn’t even know why. He really disliked how they played up certain aspects of each gender, and he was constantly wondering how some of his internet friends would see this.

Almost all of them struggled so much just to be seen as their gender, and a lot of them had issues with their family. It was just not fair. They were struggling so much, and here those guys were, just putting on a performance and playing it up for laughs.

Jack was cis himself, but he really wanted to be a good ally to his friends and the LGBTQ+ community in general, so he always tried to point out casual transphobia and whatnot whenever he could. Thankfully, most people reconsidered when a cis person like him pointed it out, though some others just doubled down. Either way, it felt good to help, to inform others about the actual medical process behind HRT and other aspects related to transition. Sometimes he went into so much detail that his friends joked that he was a trans woman in a guy’s body.

Naturally, Jack has questioned his gender identity. Many times in fact. But no matter how much he’d like it, he was just not one of them. They had actual dysphoria, he had, like, what? A few dreams in support of it? He rarely felt uncomfortable with his body. Sure, he didn’t care too much about it, but he could live with it. It was just a fetish for him, one he was very ashamed of. He couldn’t let any of his online friends find out about him, they’d all just think he was a chaser or an intruder or–

Jack felt a hand on his shoulder, and it immediately shook him out of his intrusive thoughts. Idiot. He shouldn’t be thinking about these things out in the open. He turned around and saw Jeanine looking up at him, wearing a suit that actually seemed to be tailored to her figure in comparison to many of the other girls. A top hat, well, topped it off and made her look kinda goofy, her curly brown hair spilling out of it. He chuckled.

Sure, it was a suit, but it still clearly looked female. For a second he got jealous, before he remembered that, duh, he was a man, he could just wear a suit whenever he wanted. In fact, he had, just a few months ago, for a relative’s wedding. But he didn’t really like it very much. Well, a hoodie and some jeans did just fine.

“Do I really look that silly?” Jeanine pouted, and Jack couldn’t help but smile. “Oh, no, no, I’m sorry. I was just… thinking about some things. You look like you’d fit right into a wedding, especially in comparison to those guys,” he replied, pointing behind his back at whatever the group of guys was doing now. Jeanine smiled at him. “And, do you like it? I got this one from one of my moms, she actually wore it for her wedding. What about you, though? You don’t look much different.”

Dangit. Attendance wasn’t mandatory – exams were over, after all – but Jack certainly looked out-of-place with his everyday clothes. He wondered how many people were already staring at him. “Erm, well, my part-time job has been busy lately, and between that and the exams I didn’t have too much spare time to prepare anything, I’m sorry.” He hoped that was an acceptable excuse. It wasn’t even technically wrong, he has certainly been more busy than usual. Although, if he really wanted to, he probably could have prepared something.

“Oh yeah, before I forget, here’s your book back!” He put down his backpack and rummaged through it for a few seconds before handing Jeanine the sci-fi novel she lent him. She let out a small laugh and it inevitably made Jack smile in turn. “Oh man, don’t tell me this is why you came? I told you, it’s okay, you could’ve just returned it another day.” She certainly did say so, but what if he just kept delaying it? She’d suspect he lost it, and he didn’t wanna betray her trust like that.

Jeanine put the book away into her own backpack. “Don’t take this to mean I don’t appreciate this, though! Coming all this way, just for a book… Thanks a lot! So, uh, do you wanna come with me to the crowd or do you wanna head home?”

Jack certainly would’ve liked to accompany her, but he also didn’t really want to interact with any of the guys there. “Thanks, I’m fine, so I’ll, uh, just head home. I really need to catch up on some sleep, I stayed up late again!” Another lie, though he really was sleepy. He felt awful, but he just couldn’t tell her how uncomfortable this event made him feel. These people were just having innocent fun, it shouldn’t be any of his business.

They gave each other a quick goodbye before Jack headed back outside of the campus and Jeanine jogged towards the group, waving to some of her friends. She seemed to be enjoying herself, only further proving to Jack how irrational he was being.