DetectiveRed

So, as always thanks to Trismegistus Shandy for looking over this chapter.  Check out their work on TGstorytime here and Big Closet here.

This upload is a day late. I had a couple of problems with medications. ADHD meds made me unable to get anything done for two days and I didn't plan ahead. I'm still trying to get used to these meds, but hopefully, I should be able to get more done so this doesn't happen too often. I was also able to dot point some story beats that are gonna happens and ideas I want to include while rewriting. Unfortunately, that took away from publishing the next chapter. Good news for those who are getting tired of this weekend stuff. The next chapter is the end of that, and then we get into the school week.

Katie wanted to run as far from him as possible. It was frustrating; after a day of trying to forget about what had happened between them, all it took to remind her of what he had put her through was a damn haircut. The way his hair framed his face made him look like the same asshole that had tortured her with his mates. All he needed now was his old asshole smirk.

"I'm sorry I don't know anything about this. Where do we go next?" James asked quietly. Hearing that small voice reminded her of why she was there.

She took a second to breathe and thought about the last day. James was her friend. In James’ situation, she was one of the only people who might be able to help him. She knew what she was getting into, and she knew James looking more like his usual self didn’t mean he would go back to trying to hurt her. He had squeezed her hand just an hour ago. She wouldn’t let herself be intimidated by him anymore. 

There were a couple of things Adam had talked about when it came to passing, and there were some pieces of information she’d picked up in her time talking to other trans people. She knew about binders, what to do and what not to do, but she had never been able to apply that knowledge. She hoped she’d get it right.

"We need to get you something to keep your boobs in place," she said as calmly as she could. No matter how much she didn’t want to go into the underwear section, he would need help and she would need to provide it. 

"Am I seriously going to have to wear a bra?" 

"Yes. Look, James, I have been on hormones for two weeks and I can’t go outside without a bra. Clothes are too scratchy without one. I don’t even have breasts yet. How do you think you will feel without one?" she explained. She had started wearing bras around when she came out. It helped her feel less self-conscious. Hormones made it obvious why she needed to wear them. One day without one and she was trying to keep her clothes off her chest. 

"There has to be something else, I'm not wearing a bra." The distress in his voice made her want to find another option for him. Another part of her wanted to tell him to suck it up. 

"I'll text Adam, but I'm pretty sure this is all we can do. Unless you want to break your ribs with bandages."

James looked like he was considering it. She didn’t know how she had been scared of an idiot like him.

Having an excuse to talk to Adam after the last two days was a godsend. Adam had never hurt her, and he'd never try to. She was tempted to tell him everything that was going on, so she wouldn't have to deal with James on her own. As her partner in crime, he knew about the weird things she had seen. He might notice something she didn’t. 

Katie: hey I met someone, and he needs help hiding his chest anything you recommend

She decided not to mention James or his weird situation. Adam didn’t have the most positive impression of James. Every time he was mentioned, she could see Adam getting agitated; he was protective of Katie. The second he’d heard about what was happening in her homeroom, she’d had to stop him from telling the teachers. Him knowing that she was talking to James would probably bring trouble. 

Getting James to the mall had been a challenge. Trying to convince him he needed a bra was harder. Katie knew how scary it was for him; being in the girl's underwear aisle, when you don't know if you'll look like you belong there, is terrifying. It was something she had experienced more times than she'd like to admit. He probably felt like a pervert, like he was somewhere he shouldn't be, or he’d be punished severely. She might have been projecting.

James' eyes darted around nervously, looking for anyone in the crowd that might recognize him. He was slouching, trying to make himself look smaller, she guessed. His hands were in his pockets; maybe he'd noticed they had changed too. His chest was barely visible when he slouched, he looked so similar to how he normally did. Katie didn't want to fear him, yet she couldn't help but want to run away. 

Her phone buzzed; relief washed over her as she realised it was a message from Adam.

Adam: How big is your friend. 

 Katie: Small I guess I don't know sizes very well

Adam: The best thing to do is probably get a sports bra that's a little bit tight and unpadded at least until he can get a binder. you remember the site right? Also make sure he layers up

Katie: yeah I do, thank you so much adam!!

It was about what she expected. Still, getting a small distraction from James was nice. She couldn’t feel comfortable like she had last night and she wasn’t sure why. Was it just the hair? A conditioned response to his appearance? 

"So my friend Adam told me what we are looking for."

"And?"

"I'll show you."

Katie had been in the women's section before, but never around the underwear. The bras her mums had given her fit fine; they made it look like she had boobs while hers grew. She’d never thought it was a good idea to risk it. Even knowing she was going there for a friend, she still felt like a predator, an invader. The look on James' face seemed to show he felt the same way. He looked lost; his eyes were scanning everything as if trying to understand an entirely new world. She wished she had the answers to his questions.

The bra section was overwhelming. There were so many options; so many things that a girl like her couldn't wear. It was frustrating seeing this cis guy get a body like that when she was stuck trying to change her body the old-fashioned way. She knew her jealousy was stupid; she had never envied Adam or any trans guy she had met. Why was she jealous of James? Maybe it was that she didn't know for sure he wasn’t going to suddenly like it or something. Maybe he just hadn't gotten used to being a girl, and that's why he was acting the way he was. It seemed unlikely, but this was some paranormal bullshit they were dealing with; maybe it would get rid of his dysphoria. She hoped that wouldn’t be the case. Changing his body was bad enough, but changing who he was? That would be truly terrifying. 

Katie looked at the sports bras. Those thoughts weren’t helpful. There was no use wishing for something like that to happen to her. There was no use focusing on things that might never happen. She just needed to focus on helping James. She pulled James to the section for sports bras and began searching for something that looked like it might fit. She wanted to get out of there as soon as possible and him trying to hide was holding them back from getting out there. 

"I'd say we are looking for something with compression," she thought out loud.

"I don't know what I’m doing. The only time I should ever be in a place like this is to find something for a cute girl to wear." It was obvious he was trying to laugh away his discomfort with his current situation.

"Well, right now you are a cute girl, aren't you?" As soon as it came out of her mouth, she knew she had made a mistake

James was silent.

She was even more determined to get out of there now. Looking through the aisle was intimidating; there was just so much. She knew so little about boobs and bras, and she doubted that James would know his bra size. She had to think; they got to the sports section and she picked up the closest one that looked like it might fit and that didn't have padding. She handed it to him. 

“Go try it on.”