Chapter 60: Klauna's Pasts

 

“What is this?” Klauna muttered as she found herself within a pitch-black void. She couldn’t understand what was happening, her mind was too jumbled up for her to even think properly. All she could see within the dark was a small scene of two girls— a small child and an older looking woman who was sitting down, relaxing by a campfire.

“Nee, nee, Shia! Read that book again to me!” An eight-year-old Klauna said with glee as she shook the body of the person on the chair, a woman with long hair and azure blue eyes. 

Though that was all Klauna could make out of it. 

Other than the two features, everything else was blurred out—her face, her body shape. There seemed to be some sort of gap within Klauna’s memories.

Nevertheless, that was all Klauna needed to identify one of the most important people to have ever graced her life. “Senior Shia…” she muttered again while trying to move forward. Klauna stopped when she found that no matter how many steps she took, she would not get any nearer to the scene.

“Aughhhhh. Can’t we do this another day? I don’t feel like reading that book again…” Shia responded while looking at young Klauna.

Klauna was unable to make out her expression due to her face being blurred out.

Young Klauna pouted and puffed her cheeks at the woman. “No way! You said you will read me books!”

“Yeah… I did. But like… doing it every day is a bit too much… and the same book no less! It’s boring!”

“It’s not!” Young Klauna retorted.

“Well, I’m bored with it! Let me read something else!” Shia complained.

Young Klauna just continued to puff her cheeks at Shia. Young Klauna was serious business.

Unable to stand the ire of children, Shia rubbed her temples before figuring something out. “Oh, I got an idea!”

“Hmm?”

Shia stood up before puffing out her nonexistent chest. “Yeah, you are old enough now. You should learn how to read yourself! That way you can read and learn all the things you want. As a bonus, I’m going to teach you an efficient way of learning things!”

“Learning?”

“You get to read that book all you want. How ‘bout it? Excited?” Shia said as she bent downwards to look at Young Klauna’s face.

“Um! Um! Teach me, Shia!”

“Hmm… Just one thing though…”

Young Klauna tilted her head at the matter.

“If I’m going to teach you, then I’ll be your teacher… but I don’t really like being called a teacher hmmm…. Ah right! You will now address me as Senior Shia!” Shia pointed at Young Klauna with an authoritative tone.

“Ohhh! That sounds cool! Aye aye roger,Senior Shia!” Young Klauna gave back a clumsy salute.

It was then that the scene stopped abruptly. The colour and image faded into the void before disappearing into nothing. Once again, within Klauna’s vision was a world of pure black.

Although that didn’t last for long as Klauna could hear something behind her back soon after. Turning around, Klauna could see another scene.

It was the scene of a ten years old Klauna. She was running along a forest edge alongside her father who dragged her arms. Klauna could remember this scene. Her legs were sore and tired and she was out of breath, but her father forced her to keep moving. Klauna eyed the man who was her adopted father, but she couldn’t see any of his features. To the present Klauna, he was nothing more than a blurred out body.

Her father brought her to a secluded location before hiding her under a pile of big leaves. It was then that he ran in a totally random direction, shouting away his position. The last of what Klauna could see was her father slowly disappearing from her sight.

Like the previous scene, the entire scene stopped and faded into the void. Klauna was, once again, shrouded in darkness before another scene played out.

This time It was a scene of her younger self. One of eighty years of age, just sitting by the entrance of some unknown cave in the middle of nowhere. She was sitting and resting her back on the wall, looking outwards at the howling winds of the night. Rain will be upon her at any moment.

Klauna remembered this scene. Long painful years had she spent looking for Shia ever since she abandoned her for her quest. This was the moment where she finally gave up on searching for Shia. Indeed, Shia was someone important to her, but enough was enough. She can’t continue to live her life under her shadow. For all she knew, Shia could have died a long while back. There was no reason for her to search for her. 

It was in this very cave that Klauna remembered the promise she made to Shia. Klauna decided to try her best and live a fulfilling life.

“Peh,” older Klauna scoffed at the idea. As she did so, the scene disappeared and it was soon replaced with another one.

It was a scene from one hundred years later. She was in a library, reading and studying. Next to her was a good friend. He was also an Analyst. Someone that Klauna looks up to and maybe had a little crush on. They both diligently studied within the library.

“Lotharinus…” Klauna muttered as she saw the man.

Older Klauna attempted to identify the man, only for her to realise that the man was like the other visages that she had seen so far— blurred out beyond recognition. She couldn’t remember a single trait of the man named Lotharinus. The man that she once loved.

This scene was unlike the others. Where the ones before played out in real-time, this scene seemed to play out in fast forward. Events were skipping over one another that Klauna had a hard time catching up. The scene ended in a great separation for the two. The land split into half with hundreds of thousands of casualties. Lotharinus was among them. A heartbroken Klauna could be seen drinking her sorrow away.

The scene ended. 

And another begins.

This time four hundred years later. Klauna recovered from the despair of having lost her loved one. She met with another visage, another person whom Klauna could not identify, her body blurred out beyond recognition. But Klauna remembered her name. She had an odd name after all. Knowledge was her name. Klauna spent long happy years with her. 

A long fulfilling life.

Scene after scene of Klauna living out her joy flashed past her. How ironic is it that the older Klauna had the opposite expression. A blank look with no joy in it. Only pain and sorrow.

The scene ended with the woman known as Knowledge disappearing one day. She decided that she wanted to ‘move on’. That was the last time Klauna ever saw that person. After living for a few more years, Klauna decided that she has had enough. That she was going to ‘move on’ as well. Life was no longer that enjoyable for her anyways.

An Ak’him can live for an extremely long time. So if an Ak’him wanted to die, they would usually just kill themselves. Moving on as they call it. A painless and joyful process. It wasn’t something that’s limited to Ak’hims either. Most other long-lived races will eventually do the same.

On that day, Klauna made herself a coffin and set herself out to the sea, ready to die in peace. Once out far enough, she brought out a bottle of a specially concocted poison. Something that will put her to sleep for a long long long time. 

However, just as she was about to drink the concoction, her entire body froze up. The scene ended with her clutching her core in pain.

“Peh,” older Klauna let out a second scoff.

The scene faded again and another one replaced it. This time, it wasn't just one, but many at the same time, all playing at speeds that made it hard for Klauna to keep up.

However, there was no need to keep up; each one of them were the same after all. Klauna would meet someone important. Someone who may or may not have their body and face blurred out to hell. That someone would die and the scene would end.

Dozens of people flashed by her as she recounted their name. Makuhita, Yomumu, Rachael, Alucard, Maiveetta, Zorudia, and many more. She just continued to recount the names of all the people she met until the last three played out in front of her.

“Lionel…” She muttered as she saw the scene of Lionel dead body on the bloody battlefield near Fort Kron.

“Liliel…” She muttered again as she saw the scene of her and Leida sharing a drink on top of the roof of a house.

“Balestra…” Klauna sees the scene of her dear friend in front of her, torn to shreds from a defeat.

A lot of the scenes had something in common. The look of pure satisfaction on every single one of their faces. It was one of the few things that she could make out despite their features being blurred out.

The scenes ended and a bright flash of light enveloped her, showing one final scene.

“Harbin…” Klauna muttered one last time when she saw the bright pure smile of Harbin who was standing across from her. She was in a scene that was still ongoing, a scene that Klauna has yet to see the ending for. A scene that contained the faces of everyone that she currently knew.

The Seventh Army.

It was then that everything shattered. Klauna tried to reach out to Harbin, but stopped in horror when she noticed how much blood was there on her hands. No sight of her light and fair skin was seen, just a hand painted in a red liquid. Liquid that drips down her hands like a leaking pipe. 

“Murderer!” Klauna could hear the sound of the Prince of Serrora. No, not just him, the word overlapped with the voices of about a few hundred people whom Klauna had murdered in the past. As if not enough, the voices were amplified further by the sound of the voice of all the people that died because of her decisions.

Just how much had Klauna killed in order to protect the ones that she loves?

Loved?

The vision soon faded into the void, The ground then broke out and Klauna could feel herself falling.

 

“Promise me that you won’t die for no reason like that. That you won’t end it that way. That you will live till the day comes for you. If you are going to die, then I want you to die just like how your father did. Proud and satisfied with the things that he’s done. I want you to live a meaningful life, Ticah.”

Shia’s words rang out all over her. A promise etched to her soul.

“Shia…”

A promise that prevented Klauna from ‘moving on’.