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A/N: Kek bow before this garbage chapter


"Aw man, why do we have to do this again?" A man wearing the standard marine uniform heavily groaned.


"Jeffrey, you should stop complaining, it's just a simple investigation. Besides if anything goes wrong we just need to fire the distress signal and the captain will come and save us." 


"I know I know. It's just that this place gives me the creeps, ya get me? It's like listening to one of those Justin Bieber songs."


"Don't break the 4th wall you dimwit." The other man lightly smacked the back of Jeffrey's head.


"Sorry that's my fault, anyway, it's captain's last time isn't it? Guy has been a marine for ages."


"Yep, I heard he's going to spend time with his wife and grandkids." He said to which Jeffrey gave a low whistle.


"That's quite something. Meanwhile here I am still single and a virgin at 36. Alas! Nobody can see my greatness." He spread his arms and shamelessly boasted.


"Hah! That's funny. If you were so great, then why don't you have a higher rank?" 


"That's obviously because I see no need in going up the ranks. What is a rank in front of greatness?"


"Doesn't a rank represent your greatness and stre-"


"Both of you, shut it. We are about to enter. Get ready." A stern looking man.


They abruptly seized their actions and showed a serious look before simultaneously responding, "Yes chief." 



Soon after, the entire unit stood on the docks, armed with rifles and blades. 


"Alright men, I hope y'all are prepared for the worst. We will enter the village, and look for any abnormal activities. Understood?"




And they marched into the village…




The stench filled the atmosphere, and a somewhat unsettling feeling surrounded the village. "Bowser unit, status report." A voice came from a… snail? The scouting batch didn't seem fazed by it though and began talking into an old phone attached to the snail. 


"The stench has gotten worse. That's the only noteworthy thing so far. Though it's quiet. Really quiet." The silence seemed to carry a feeling of angst. 


"Understood. Carry on, keep us informed, and send a distress signal when necessary." The snail made a weird sound before closing its eyes.


The batch of marines continued marching through the empty streets, rifles in hand, and closely staying together. 


There was barely any sound besides the footsteps of the marines and the wind howling through the trees in the distance. The marines had a steady pace, carefully observing every angle around them. 


"Halt." The marine upfront signaled, causing the entire unit to come to an abrupt stop. "Enemy at 12 o'clock, approximate distance 50 metres (164 feet)."


Immediately, the entire group spread out, pointing their rifles at the enemy ahead. Slowly approaching the enemy, they held the enemy at gunpoint. 


One of the marines muttered in a low voice, "What in the world is that?" He slightly trembled while looking at the monstrosity in front of them. 


A huge monster made out of bones blocked their way. The bones formed a weird shape seemingly a fusion of a gorilla and a centipede. It stared into the direction of the unit, unfazed by their weapons. It held the upper body of a now severed corpse. The lower body lying motionlessly on the ground. It's mouth was covered in blood.


The man upfront grabbed the snail. "Bowser Unit, warrant officer Bowser here. We have encountered the enemy." 


"Understood, you have permission to engage." He gave a silent nod and pivoted to the rest.


"Alright men, let's show the big guy over there what we're made of! And remember, never falter." 


""Yes sir!."" 


Simultaneously, the monster had disappeared from its previous location. "Wha-" one of the marines said, when he suddenly stopped, and fell to the ground, followed by blood covering the ground.


Behind him, the monster stood with the head of the marine in its hand. The monster's empty eyes gazed over the marines causing some marines to shiver in fear. 


The brief silence didn't last long, as one of the marines screamed and ran towards the monster. His gun pointed at the monster, he immediately fired, the bullet soaring through the air, quickly made impact with the monster. Which caused the marine to slightly smirk. 


He continued running to the monster, and once he was within reach, he unsheathed his blade and swung it fiercely at the monster. 


The monster on the other hand simply stood still, looking down upon the sna- humans. The bullet hadn't even left a dent. 


As the human approached it, while wildly swinging his blade, the monster glanced at him before disappearing from the spot, before once again appearing behind the marine and crushing his head. The monster immediately laid his eyes upon the nearest marine and dashed to him. 


"Fuck! Goomba and Thwomp! Engage close combat! Bullet Bill and Magikoopa support them! Lakitu! Prepare to launch the distress signal. Boo, Wiggler, and Muncher! Help Lakitu while he's busy!"(Just so the less intelligent people understand. These are codenames. Not their actual names. Jeffrey is Muncher.)


"Understood!" They simultaneously began to move to their positions. Goomba and Thwomp dashed towards the monster. Goomba took at his blade while Thwomp readied his fists. Both of them let out a war cry and attacked the monster causing a small cloud of dust to rise from the ground. Instantaneously, they both jumped backwards. The monster leapt towards them and grabbed the head of Goomba. 


It looked at Thwomp before throwing Goomba at him. Thwomp hastily responded by grabbing Goomba, and placing him next to him.


"Can you continue?" He gave Goomba a quick glance.


 "Of course." He responded before once again dashing to the monster. He swung his blade diagonally, leaping sideways directly after hitting the monster. Thwomp sprinted in the opposite direction of Goomba and quickly hastened his pace. He made a quick leap, and punched the monster causing it to slightly shake. Simultaneously, a swarm of bullets soared to the monster. Although they were unable to gain it's attention.


The monster laid its eyes on Thwomp and threw a punch into his direction. Thwomp's eyes widely opened and hurriedly counter attacked with a punch causing the air to slightly vibrate. 


The clash continued for a second and a half, before Thwomp was sent flying, crashing into a building behind him.


"Damn it! Lakitu!"


"A couple more seconds!" 


"Good!" Bowser cracked his knuckles. "I will support them."


He leapt into the air, and fiercely looked at the monster. He moved his body in mid air, and jumped off the air, launching himself to the monster.


He lifted his leg, and kicked it vertically at very high speed, sending out a sharp compressed air blade. Almost instantly appearing in front of the monster, the air blade struck it, leaving behind a small cut. 


The monster abruptly turned its head to Bowser. A spider-like crack appeared under its feet, before it leapt to Bowser.


At that same moment a gun was fired into the air, leaving red smoke in its path.


"Distress signal fired!"