ver. 1: confinement

commentary:

“I thought about it.”

“And?”

“I still think it’s pointless, but I don’t mind going in.”

There was a sharp intake of breath.

—

To bask in the sunshine while listening to birds, to eat your fill of delicious delicacies, to sleep in a soft bed at night and wake to a warm embrace in the morning.

Leng Qinxue’s idea of a happy life was very simple.

But the golden chains on his wrists and the burning gaze fixated on his face still cost him to lose his nerve.

Who am I? Where am I? Why am I chained to a bed?

—

version 2: general x advisor (normal)

commentary:

"Qinxue, this was due last week. Why are you handing it in now?"

"The edit requests didn't come in until Friday night."

"So?" There was a heavy thump as the stack of papers hit the table. "Did you forget how to read a calendar? What day is it today?"

"...Monday."

"So why didn't you turn it in Saturday? The submission window is still open until noon on weekends, don't you know?"

"I…I know. I forgot…" No, he didn't. He was just too sick to work.

"Leng Qinxue!"

The roar that would've made even the veteran employees flinch fell on deaf ears. The pale-skinned, dark-haired man stood expressionlessly before his superior's table, head bowed and hands hanging by his sides.

"I can't use this now, do you understand? It's late! By three days! You could've turned in trash on Saturday and I'd still have something to work with, but what is this? Where have you lost your head these days?!"

"I'm sorry." Long lashes fluttered over the haggard cheeks, but Leng Qinxue didn't bother explaining. At this point it wouldn't matter if he did.

"Forget it." There was a sigh. Leng Qinxue's eyes finally snapped up to see his boss leaning wearily in his seat, rubbing his temples with a sigh. 

"Sir," he began.

His boss ignored him. When Leng Qinxue was debating whether to try again, he heard an order. 

"Go home."

Leng Qinxue's heart gave a jolt, and with it the spearing pain from his headache seemed to pierce through his skull and out of one eye. He winced, but still managed to ask, "Sir…?"

"There's nothing for it now and you look like shit. You're sick, aren't you? Go back and rest, Qinxue."

A wave of relief washed over his tired body, but Leng Qinxue still held on stubbornly. "The other deadlines," he said, "there are still—"

"Go home!" 

Leng Qinxue turned and quickly walked out of the office, head pounding and cold sweat dampening his palms. He ignored the voices of co-workers in the hall and only stopped to grab his jacket from his cubicle before making a beeline for the elevator.

It was late morning and everyone was at their desks; the elevator remained empty all the way to the lobby, where he stumbled into the parking lot and towards his car. The warm summer breeze brushed past his face, but he only shuddered as a chill wracked his body. 

Leng Qinxue frowned and rested a hand against his forehead.

Hot. He probably had a fever. Was there still medicine at home…

—

By the time Leng Qinxue haphazardly weaved his way through traffic and the stars in his vision to reach home, he was burning up. He tugged at his clothes and tie as he stumbled over the threshold of his tiny apartment, making a vague beeline for the bedroom. The combination of fever, nausea, and throbbing pain in his head was already making it hard to focus. 

When he reached the bed, he belatedly recalled that he'd forgotten to take off his shoes. A single glance down was enough to trigger his vertigo, and he pitched sideways on the mattress with a low groan.

Damn this body for getting sick even in the warmest months of the year.

I'm tired of being alone.

Damn himself for always having no one to rely on.

For once, I'd like someone to take care of me…hah.

What a weak-willed wish.

—

"Ah-Xue."

The voice seemed to echo from the center of his head. 

"Ah-Xue, it's time for your medicine."

Like ripples, it spread until it was filling every pore in his body. He could even smell a faint fragrance—something like herbs, mixed with the sharp scent of metal. 

Medicine? Right, he was sick…

His body felt heavy, being pressed down beneath a thick quilt. An arm slipped under his body before easing him to lean against something soft and warm. Despite this, the sudden contact still made him tremble slightly.

"Be good, Ah-Xue. I won't hurt you."

Clack. The sound of porcelain. He tried to open his eyes but they seemed welded shut. Even lifting his head was like trying to move a boulder—too much weight.

Something round and cool pressed against his lips before Leng Qinxue parted them automatically. Warm liquid streamed into his mouth, hitting his tongue and sending up notes of acrid bitterness. His brows creased and he almost wanted to spit it out, but he had no strength. 

"Bear with it a bit longer," the same voice coaxed, wiping away a few drops that had escaped from his lips. Leng Qinxue heard another spooning sound before a second sip was fed to his lips.

Who is this? Leng Qinxue wondered and then thought more wildly, Did I forget to lock the door of my apartment?

But who would let themselves in just to feed him medicine? He didn't know anyone who would look after him, not even his own neighbors.

"You…" Leng Qinxue began, but trailed off again. He was still so tired.

"Shhh," the other soothed, "We can talk after you're better."

What a warm voice.

That was the last thing he thought before losing consciousness again.

—

Leng Qinxue had a long, long dream.

In it he was Advisor Leng, the right hand strategist of the famed General Huangfu Rongjin. The two of them had joined hands to fight countless battles, thus establishing a peaceful reign for the Yan Dynasty. But the general was also a bastard prince, spurned by his official mother, used by his own father, and treated with suspicion by the reigning emperor because his looks were similar to the people of the steppes: steel-blue eyes and hair a dark umber hue. His achievements were viewed with suspicion and his merits suspected as a cover to hide treacherous thoughts.

When things turned critical and Huangfu Rongjin seemed on the verge of being executed on the spot, Advisor Leng stepped in. He exposed all the plots, punished the liars, and exonerated the general’s good name. But because he had offended the emperor in the process, he was sentenced to twenty beatings by the board and nearly lost his life.

No, he did lose his life, which was why Leng Qinxue was here now.

Advisor Leng's last memory was of meeting Huangfu Rongjin fresh out of prison. The general was against him taking the punishment, but he had insisted so as not to ruin all the hard work he did clearing up Huangfu Rongjin’s name. When the general refused and swore to take Leng Qinxue away to safety, the advisor simply signaled to a right-hand man to knock Huangfu Rongjin out cold.

When the first hit didn’t take, he had two subordinates restrain the man and forced a drug down his throat to make him unconscious once and for all. Witnessing this scene, Leng Qinxue couldn’t help thinking that the advisor was just as ruthless as the general he served.

His feelings were complicated when he regained consciousness. The first thing he saw was a pair of steel-blue eyes staring into his own, framed by dark hollows and sunken cheeks. But the smile on the stranger's face was almost blinding.

"Ah-Xue…" Huangfu Rongjin choked up. "You're finally awake."

I'm not your Ah-Xue anymore, Leng Qinxue thought faintly, even as the other man bent down to kiss him softly on the forehead.

He froze at the contact. Advisor Leng's memories hadn't said they were this intimate.

"Feeling better?" a voice murmured in his ear. "From now on, I'll keep you safe."

Cough. Leng Qinxue had a little more strength now and tried to get up, only to hear a rattling sound from his wrists. He looked down and saw a beautiful golden chain connected to a silk-lined cuff around his right wrist.

This is…

He moved his legs and heard a second rattle, faintly feeling a second chain cuffed to both his ankles. His questioning gaze found its way back to Huangfu Rongjin's face, where the smile had faded to something crooked and slightly sick, like a crushed flower straining to bloom.

This isn't how you restrain patients, right? Leng Qinxue stared into those eyes, which now seemed less blue and more of a broiling, endless black, and forced down a shudder.

"Ah-Xue won't leave me this time," the general declared, leaning across Leng Qinxue to untangle the chain attached to his wrist. "Things like hiding secrets and suffering for my sake…I won't ever allow it to happen again."

Shit.

—

(Didn't write anything here, but story picks up a bit after LQX convinces HF RJ of his identity)

Leng Qinxue is dead.

That was what Leng Qinxue told Huangfu Rongjin after waking up completely. There was no point in playing pretend for a man he didn't know, nor did he feel comfortable letting the misunderstanding fester and grow.

I'm just a wandering soul. The man you love is gone. He wouldn't say lovers because the Advisor Leng in his memories had never loved Huangfu Rongjin back. There was even a hint of relief like a burden being lifted before the beatings stole his consciousness—and then his life—away.

But Huangfu Rongjin refused to believe him.

"Ah-Xue, it's just the aftereffects of the torture," he soothed. "You've lost some memories from the shock, but you'll get them back eventually."

"I still 'recall' what happened," Leng Qinxue corrected. "But those are someone else's memories."

"You only say that because you've forgotten your feelings too," Huangfu Rongjin coaxed. "Once you remember everything, it'll be alright. We'll be the same as before."

"And what if I don't?" Leng Qinxue felt exasperated. "What if I never remember those feelings again and we stay strangers forever?"

Huangfu Rongjin's smile quavered slightly before he laughed. "The war is over and our days still long. Even if Ah-Xue doesn't remember, I'll accompany you to discover the springs and summer anew."

Leng Qinxue was unmoved as he rattled his arm. "I'll see the Yellow Springs first if you don't take these chains off me."

Huangfu Rongjin's smile shook again.

The next day, he was no longer chained to the bed. Instead, two shackles connected his ankles together, making it possible to walk but not run, and a gold collar rested like a cage around his neck.

—

version 3: general x advisor (dramatic)

commentary:

Leng Qinxue had a long, long dream.

In it he was Advisor Leng, the right hand strategist of the famed military general Huangfu Rongjin. The two of them had joined hands to fight countless battles, thus establishing a peaceful reign for the Yun Dynasty. Remarkably, Huangfu Rongjin was half a prince himself, being the illegitimate son of the emperor's younger brother and a beautiful maiden of the western steppes. He was a genius in the battlefield and fiercely intelligent, but it was precisely this mixed-blood heritage that left him shunned by the royal court and disdained by his father. 

The tribes of the steppes had been enemies of the court for decades and Huangfu Rongjin's looks broadcasted his bloodline loud and clear: steel-blue that outshone the common browns and blacks of the populace and a head of dark brown hair. Ironically, his fighting prowess made him a necessity on the field. Leng Qinxue discovered that this advisor was very similar to himself: practical and lowkey, an honest worker who did his job well—but who could be ruthless when it called for it. He was of common birth and humble origins, but proved his intelligence in the imperial exams and later joined Huangfu Rongjin during the war.

As one of the few people who treated him with sincerity and respect, Advisor Leng was regarded highly by the general. He even fell in love with him, but the original Leng Qinxue didn't return his feelings. When Huangfu Rongjin refused to accept his answer, he chose a cruel way to sever ties.

With the wars won, the nation was at peace but the emperor grew uneasy with Huangfu Rongjin's victories. Jealous ministers won his ear and convinced him to convict the man of gross disobedience to the imperial court. It was a sentence just short of treason.

However, it was Advisor Leng who stepped up to take the blame. He mocked the general for being a blind but loyal fool and took all the blame unto himself, claiming a personal conspiracy against the sovereign. In a fortnight, the name of Leng Qinxue was stamped into the mud even as the common people cheered the noble deeds of Huangfu Rongjin far and wide.

The emperor ordered Leng Qinxue to be lashed and tortured before hanging his body over the city walls for all to see. The morning before he was to be drawn and quartered for good, Huangfu Rongjin rushed into the city, recovered his body, and galloped away in the night. He had given up all honor and glory to the emperor and willingly agreed to retreat to the countryside, just for a chance to be with Leng Qinxue in peace for the rest of his life.

—

Leng Qinxue was dead. 

That was what all the teahouses gossiped about. A traitor, a blackguard, a wretch. Leading that poor general about like a dog to fight his battles for him. Actually, the general had vanished too, but they didn't talk much about Huangfu Rongjin. For one thing, his father and elder brother still held sway in the capital city. For another, it was easier to make up tales about a dead man.

—

version 4: general x advisor (LQX pov)

commentary:

Title: Snow Banyan Tree

He was floating.

Like a kite, but crippled—strings cut but its tail tangled on a branch, sharp and rough as the thick chains binding his wrist to something higher up. Shivers wracked his body, the only respite between dull waves of pain. The taste of rust coated his tongue and the back of his throat while his eyelids were too heavy to lift, fluttering weakly against his cheeks as he strained uselessly.

Dark, cold, wet.

The night gale screamed past his dangling body and cut through the tattered layers of clothing to sting the sensitive skin below, chilling the thousand cuts that still bled freshly. The chains groaned whenever he swung in the winds, eating into his wrist and chafing through skin.

Where…is this?

He tried to wrap his fingers around the chain, but they only trembled and slipped uselessly off the metal. Any longer and something might snap, either the bones in his wrist or his last vestiges of rationality fading before endless waves of agony. 

Hurts. Everything…hurts.

His consciousness wavered and he hoped desperately to black out, if only to escape the torture for a little while—

"There he is!"

"Advisor Leng!"

"Advisor, hang in there a little longer!"

Who are they…calling? 

He could hear frantic footsteps and what sounded like horses' hooves splattering against the mud far, far below.

Couldn't…be… …me.

But the shouts and commotion grew louder until they were right beneath him. There was a sudden gust of wind before something fluttered past him. The chains clanged and finally snapped—he fell, quickly at first, before warmth enveloped his body like a cocoon, safe and soft. The impact jolted his eyes open, allowing him to catch a glimpse of the person who’d caught him. He seemed to be a general, dressed in ancient armor and with days-old stubble around his chin. His face was slightly tan, framed by a pair of fierce brows over steel-blue eyes. There was a wild beauty to his rough features, reminiscent of the northern steppes people, but his astonished brain only processed one thought:

I know this face. 

“Ah-Xue…” the handsome man muttered, but the abrupt fall was already too much for the wound-ridden body in his arms. A wave of dizziness overwhelmed the white-robed man before he fainted away.

“Ah-Xue!” the arms holding him tightened before their owner landed lightly on the ground. He quickly grabbed the other’s wrist and channeled true qi into the body, only relaxing when he sensed him breathing normally again.

“I’ve got you now…I’ll protect you…”

Emotions swirled in his eyes as the pupils seemed to swallow up the man’s unconscious form into a fathomless abyss.

—

His name was Leng Qinxue, but Leng Qinxue was deceived , disgraced, and dead.

Leng Qinxue's consciousness floated in and out for the next few days. He remembered

(yes, i stopped writing in the middle of a sentence. it happens all the time lol. had some story notes below tho for ref:)

leng wakes up on bed in chains and rongjin kisses him and says sorry and leng says it's fine because rong looks like his last crush and he hugs the chains and says don't leave me ever again

rumors spread that the great and famed advisor leng was guilty of X and captured by emperor Y and tortured and lost all his intellect and wisdom and health

and that was enough to quell huangfu rongjin who was both general and distant prince

leng is unaware of rumors but does feel he's living in a dream, the servants says he seems to have warmed since rongjin took him back

MODERN WORLD: leng gives up rongjin and finds his own happiness, rongjin regrets and chases, they are happy

(discarded bit of ver. 4 from HF RJ's POV:)

Huangfu Rongjin pulled the reins of his horse just short of the abandoned city gates, his eyes riveted on the broken figure hanging off its wall. Rain dripped into his eyes from the edges of his helmet, but he didn’t even blink, gaze picking out the chains that held him fast. 

His expression instantly cooled, the furrowed brows knitting into a thicker line on their own.

“General, what should we do?”

—