God-damned daughter-con!
After reading Law's note, I started sweating bullets wondering what he would do considering I did just beat his daughter.
Training I mean.
Although, I doubted her father would see it that way. So I did the smart thing, and did a tactical retreat…
All the way to Sylphy’s bedroom.
///
“Sylphy, quick plan!” I hollered as I hung out her bedroom window.
“Eep!”
She thrusted her palm forward, and-
“Wait a mom-bwahh!”
…thrusting me out the window with a small air compression.
That was an air palm. So proud…
No wait a minute. Planning session!
Standing right back up, I made my way back to her window. “It’s me, it’s me. Don’t shoot! There's something I want to talk to you about.”
“Rudy?”
“You’re one and only,” I made my way into her bedroom, walking in slowly keeping an eye on her just in case she decided to get trigger happy, and seeing… another side of her.
She is in her underwear.
Hands on her chest and hiding her modesty.
“Oh… sorry. I didn’t think I was, ah…” I turned myself to a wall facing away from her.
Should I step out?
“...why are you naked?”
“We just trained a couple hours ago Rudy. You got me all sweaty and stuff. I needed to wash up.”
Again, language woman, ah… girl.
“Shouldn’t you have showered a couple hours ago?”
“I like to eat, and rest before bathing. It’s more comfy. You can turn around now, Rudy.”
I stand still.
“I finished changing.”
Turning around slowly, I notice that Sylphy is a little red in the face, but for the most part decent. Wearing an almost similar attire, except for khaki shorts, she’s much more presentable.
Does she only own shorts?
“Rudy?”
Ah, that’s right, emergency.
“Right, we have to talk…”
After that I went on an explanation of what I have been doing, and how her father might come here any moment, to ask her about what she’s been doing, and if I’ve been treating her right.
“But you have been treating me right,” she said.
“That’s true, but I don’t know if your father will see it that way. He doesn’t look like the understanding type that would like his little girl being hit around.”
“Hmm… that’s true, but what do you want me to tell him?”
“Well, ‘you,’ are just going to need to say we play around, and you know nothing about me and monster hunting, ok?”
“I thought Rudy hated lying.”
I hate dying more.
“I do, but… this situation is… difficult. Besides, I don’t think he’ll like it if he found out that I’m trying to train you to be an adventurer. And it’s not lying, it’s… postponing the truth, we’ll tell him everything in a year or two.”
She narrowed her eyes, giving me a dead stare.
That hurts, please stop.
Those are weapons of mass destruction, when wielded by a girl with a pure heart.
“...I’ll pay you back.”
“Massage.”
“Grr… ok…”
You’re going to take me for all I’m worth aren’t you?
“Alright, so let's get our stories straight. Me and you do some normal exercise in the morning, we do a bit of normal studying, reading and writing, an hour later, and then we spend the rest of the day playing. Whatever I do after I’m done playing with you, you have no idea, got it?”
“Hai. Yes, sir.”
Pretty sure Hai, means yes.
Whatever, no reason to teach her the eccentricities to a language I barely know myself.
Baka!
“That’s a good girl,” I rubbed her hair, as she smiled at my touch.
“He he~”
“Alright, see you Sylphy,” I open the window, and get ready to leave.
“See yah Rudy,” she waves.
Stepping out the window, I start walking away, when I hear footsteps around the corner.
Jumping, hands to my side, with a gust of wind pointed to ground, I go to the roof, hoping to avoid them, and try waiting them out.
“...how long are you going to stay up there?”
It didn’t work.
Taking a peek, I look down, and see... Laws below me.
“I see yah, Rudy,” he smiled deviously.
Oh… well… crap.
“...how much did you hear?”
His eyes narrowed.
///
The answer was enough.
He didn’t hear some of the earlier parts of our conversation, so I’m largely in the clear, but he still had enough to make my life a living hell.
That was four days ago.
I am now his gopher.
It was on that day that I ingrained into my heart to never speak bad about elves when within earshot. Elven earshot being approximately fifty meters apparently.
God damned daughter-con, and his need to be a good father.
Huh, you think you can be my daddy? Get lost! I already have one annoying father, I don’t need another.
Anyways, that guy just tried to sell me down the river. Seeing as I am six, seven in a month, and shouldn’t be monster hunting. Or so he says.
Liar!
Guy tried to pierce me full of arrows on our first meeting. Doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together. The guy just doesn’t want me to set a bad example for his daughter. which… is an admirable quality for sure, but! It’s getting in the way of our training.
Well, my training.
He never did find out where Sylphy fits in all this.
After I was finished with my monster slaying parts, and felt that I’ve reached a reasonable level of competency, I was gonna drag her along, and teach her a few things in the future. Now that’s out the window.
My plans will have to take a break for a bit.
Hence I had to unleash the seal on Sylphy’s forbidden technique, and coaxed her to come out and help me. Giving her the signal, she unleashed it.
The Puppy-Dog Eyes!
It worked! It was super effective!
Mostly…
Thanks to Sylphy, I was able to get away without Laws snitching to Paul or Zenith, but as part of our ‘compromise.’ I would be working under him in an apprenticeship, bringing me along on patrols, and in return he would say nothing of my whereabouts. I get some proper experience while being protected, and he gets an extra set of hands.
Win, win scenario right? Everyone wins right?
…I'm technically being blackmailed aren't’ I?
Well I can’t deny that under our arrangement I won’t be able to learn a thing or two, but I still get to follow him around as he patrols, and get to learn other things instead. Such as the names of the other guys in the militia, how to hunt monsters, and weapon maintenance.
It’s only been four days, and I’ve managed to learn a thing or two, so I’m confident, that misgivings aside, I can learn a thing or two.
A solid investment of my time.
///
"A Superb waste of time!" I threw my mess of a shirt to the corner, knocking over a washboard.
I would come to rue my decision several weeks later.
It’s been three weeks since I’ve started my apprenticeship, and I am… annoyed…
I am in the attic. Where the old Rudeus would practice his waterballs in secret, and where the current me goes to cool off. A bucket of cool water at my ready.
Why in secret?
Simple; I am a hot mess right now, and if I were to bathe somewhere else, they would start asking uncomfortable questions like; why is the water red?
Because I love tomatoes! Why do you think?
So in order to keep my activities a secret, I’ve been washing my clothes and body, up here in secret. My body, my clothes, my everything, is all covered in dirt, grime, sweat, and a few blotches of dried blood here and there.
None of it mine, but rather monsters I’ve gutted, but that still leaves me a sight for sore eyes.
In essence I’m a mess, and look like a butcher's son.
…bathe like one too.
In fact…
Staring at the bucket of clean water before me. I take both my hands, setting a fire on top of them, throwing them into the bucket, and setting it to boil as quickly as possible. A short moment later it’s ready, and I decide to ‘let out a little steam.’
Aaaaaaaah!
“Blarghggahag…” Diving my head underwater I let out a scream, before coming out for air. “Hah… hah… hah…well… that was surprisingly therapeutic. I should do it more often.”
‘Apprentice,' he told me.
Apprentice my ass! I’m basically a waterboy!
That guy…
After so ‘generously’ deciding to bring me under his wing, he brought me on all his hunts, but there was a caveat; he’s an archer, and I am a swordsman. The amount of tutelage I could get from him was minimal.
The ‘help’ I gave was minimal.
It basically amounted to me being a bag boy. That and weapon maintenance.
So what was the purpose of this supposed training? Hell, if I know. If I had to guess he probably just wanted an excuse to keep me away from his daughter.
Damn, daughter-con.
That said, I didn’t let it go to waste. I’ve learned how to take care of a blade, how many provisions to carry, basic monster trivia, as well as a few knife tricks, but as for combat experience…
Nope. Nothing. Nada.
I haven’t seen any action in weeks. Not unless you count standing in wait, while Laws shoots down arrows from the tower.
Which I don’t.
And here I thought I would be able to train, while having the safety net of an experienced hunter. Laws being an archer and all, but no, he just shoots arrows from atop his tower, and combine that with his keen eyesight, and I end up having a very boring afternoon.
It doesn’t help that monsters hibernate during winter, at least the ones around this area. Only a few of them don’t, Winter Whistles, but yeah… nine times out of ten, I’m just helping him retrieve the arrows from a rabbit, more than anything else.
Sooo… all work, and no play, makes Rudy a dull boy…
Still work up a sweat though. Now I have to wash up.
“Hmm, I wonder If I should bring some candles here, and just turn this into my own private shangri-la?” I soliloquy.
That would be nice. No worries. Just me, and some lightly scented candles, as the stress melts away. No Paul, no Sylphy, no Zenith, No-
“Master Rudeus, may I-” Lilia comes in, before I could finish that thought. Taking notice of my disheveled appearance, she stops. “...speak… with you for a… Did something happen, Rudeus?”
No, Lilia.
Well… so much for shangri-la.
I’m standing shirtless, under a mound of dirty laundry, in the attic.
I’m innocent?
Why do I have to feel guilty in the middle of my own sanctuary?
Ignoring my disheveled appearance, she strides across the room, dropping the basket at my feet, as she starts scrutinizing me, walking all around me, bending her head here and there, and even lifting my arm, she looks for hidden injuries.
So thorough~
She usually doesn’t initiate the conversation, let alone put her hands on me. She now stands over me.
“I’m fine."
“Are you sure you’re fine?” She says worriedly.
Now isn’t that the million dollar question.
I wonder what I should do here?
I’m not doing anything wrong… probably… but I feel like I’ve been caught red handed.
“I’m fine, why the sudden interest?”
She studies me closely, looking me over one more time, before sighing, “I see, I’m glad. For a moment I thought the master was doing something dangerous or foolish again. You’re not pushing, yourself again are you?”
“No, like I said, I’m fine, why would you-”
She puts her hand in the basket, pulling out a shirt, and dropping it at my feet. Looking at me with a stern gaze, the basket of dirty clothes, still under her arm.
“Um… yes?”
Dropping the basket, she grabs said shirt, lifting it to my eyes, folding the collar, and revealing a spot of blood around the inside of it.
Ah, I missed a spot.
Her eyes narrowed, before tilting to the corner, where I threw my latest shirt, then looking back at me with a stern gaze.
I was planning to clean it, you know?
“You are up to something. Young master you’re fine right?” She places her hand on my chin, turning it left and right, inspecting me, as if trying to find a cut or injury.
“So that’s what you meant… and I’m a mage that can cast Heal. You won’t find anything.”
Well, except a bloody shirt.
She looked at me annoyed, “Master Rudeus shouldn’t be injuring himself in the first place, what-are-you-doing?”
Where did the attitude come from?
“Everything’s fine, jeez. It’s not mine, I’ve been…” I struggled with the details. But I doubt Lilia would say anything unless asked, so I spit it out. “It’s from hunting. I’ve been helping Laws with his work. I’ve been meaning to increase my repertoire recently, and have been training under him for a couple weeks now. Nothing dangerous, just a bunch of menial labor and maintenance. Not dangerous.”
At the end of my sentence, she kneels down, and takes hold of me. One hand on my chin, and another on the back of my head, she examines me thoroughly. Her dexterous fingers rummaged through my hair. She’s looking for an injury.
Are you a monkey?
I’m fine, I’m fine. Begone wom-
…begone… begone…
Seriously… stop.
Begone… the weakness of my heart…
This is dangerous.
I hate to admit it, but all it took was but a touch to set my heart in turmoil. It makes me reminisce of times gone by.
This is… familiar. Too much so.
It's unfortunate, and disgraceful to admit, but… her touch… It still calms me.
Closing my eyes, despite knowing better, I enjoyed it. If only for a moment.
Just a moment…
At least that’s what I tell myself.
I can’t hate her, despite everything. I can’t ignore her. The more I try, the less I can.
…dammit. I guess it’s true, the first one to fall in love is always the one that loses.
Her whole existence is unfair.
After three weeks of stress-
No… months of stress, and it was gone.
All it took was her touch to soothe me.
I hate it. I hate that I can’t hate it. I hate my weak self. Hate… that I can’t hate.
Feelings and logic don’t always coincide.
I hold my eyes tight, and wonder… if I were to open them, what would I see when I stare into her own?
I have never stared into her eyes since that day, have I?
My eyes still, not betraying my inner turmoil, I struggle to open them. Wondering what I would see if I opened them.
Yet… I do nothing.
For too long… and then the moment passes.
She lets go.
Opening my eyes, I look up to her and see her standing still looking at me in her hands.
“...you’re fine,” she breathes a sigh of relief. “I’m sorry for being so presumptuous. Young master always knows best. Just… don’t push yourself too hard. It will worry the Madame,” she lets go.
That’s it?
The old you would have chastised me a bit, before we divulged into another topic. The old me would have made a sarcastic quip.
…but the new us… only gets this much.
How pathetic of us.
I’ve been thinking about this for a while, my feelings for her. I’ve been telling myself over and over, I’m over it, that it was a mistake, that it never should have happened, and that I was simply reaching out to the first person that showed me affection in this world. That it was simply the weakness of a frail heart, longing for another. That it was something that shouldn’t have been. That it was doomed from the start, and this was the inevitable conclusion.
But it doesn’t matter.
No matter what excuses I go over my head. The truth is the truth.
I still have feelings for her.
The only thing I hate is my own weak heart.
Sigh, the heart wants what the heart wants.
Was I always weak, or did love make me weak?
But it’s over.
I just have to accept that.
She picks up the clothes she dropped before me and goes to the corner to pick up the shirt I threw in the corner, as well as grabbing the washboard, placing it on top of the basket in hand.
…and yet.
“You can just wash it here, you know.” I stop her from going away. "There's a tub of hot water right in front of you.”
She scans me up and down, “I believe Rudeus needs to wash more than just his clothes. I’ll leave you be,” she bows, before making her way to the door.
I look down at my grimy self. There is some truth to that.
Yet...
“I’ve noticed you and Paul aren’t talking anymore,” before I can halt myself, I call out to her. Still holding the doorhandle she freezes.
While the Iron is hot, while we’re still speaking. There are some things I want to find out, and this is probably the best chance of any.
Who knows when will be the next time we speak. Three weeks?
Halting, she answers, “yes… we don’t.”
“Can I ask why?”
“…there is… conflict between us. We avoid speaking to each other if at all possible.”
“Hmm, tough way to talk about your daughter’s father.”
Shut up. Just shut up.
“Yes,” she grimaces. “That.”
I wonder…
“Out of curiosity, where do you two stand, are you going to be,” ah this makes me want to vomit. My mouth won’t stop. “Are you going to be his mistress, or some-”
“Never, in a thousand years,” she cuts in.
“-thing.”
“…”
Well… that was a quick response.
“I see… He’s the father of your child, you know.”
“Unfortunately…” she mutters.
I heard that.
…this is taking a different turn than expected. I know they didn’t like each other, but it seems to border more on hatred than anything else.
That's nice.
I gotta divert the topic.
This conversation is making me overly hopeful. I can’t afford that.
“I-I see…Well! It’s a good thing you’re not marrying him or anything, then I would have to call you momma Lilia, that would be a little weird.”
Argh… wow… When I’m nervous, my mouth just won’t stop.
Mama Lilia? Like hell! I’d leave immediately, and convince Zenith to take us to Millis.
Take us to Millis…
That was also an option, huh…
“Indeed,” she speaks. “I’d imagine Lady Zenith would be extremely angry with me if she found out you’d call me momma so quickly. You know, you didn’t call Miss Zenith Momma ‘till you were four, and you’ve never called her Mommy.”
“Arg, god no, saying that has… certain connotations, I’ll take a pass.”
“What kind of connotation?” She tilts her head confusedly.
Annnnd there I go again.
What’s with today, I just keep shoving my foot in my mouth. Also, how is someone so un-innocent as you not getting the reference. Then again, with her experience she was probably dealing with a different kind of fetishes, during her dark past period.
“Hah… Lilia… you’ll be the death of me.”
“My apologies, Rudeus,” she bows.
I pinch my brow at our interactions.
Please don’t bow at my stupidity, it just makes it more noticeable.
So this is my new normal huh. Well, at least the awkwardness is mostly gone now.
It’s time to rip the bandaid.
“So you don’t have any feelings for him?”
“No, I do not.”
“And you don’t plan on becoming a couple?”
“Of course.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“I see… that’s good, that’s good.”
That really sets my heart at ease, but… now what?
I’m at a loss at what to do, but I can at least take solace that she didn’t fall for him.
It's hard to trust her words, but after three months of passive aggressiveness that I’ve witnessed from those two, no, everyone in this household. I feel I can trust her actions. Besides, Lilia has always been good at directing the conversation with half answers, but she has never, once lied to me.
At least I like to think she hasn’t.
Part of me still hopes that I knew her at least that well.
To think that when this all started, I wasn’t even trying to romance her. I just wanted to help her, and now… we’ve come such a long way from then, yet we struggle to speak with each other.
If it’s going to be like this, I might as well nip some things in the bud. Even if by all right, I shouldn’t know certain topics that I will start talking about, it’s time I address some things.
After all, at this rate the next time we talk will be in another three weeks.
It might be too little too late… by then I might be at Millis.
Gathering my breath, I begin. A talk I should have had a long long time ago.
I started things by wanting to help her, not because I loved her, but because I found her situation disagreeable. I didn’t need to be in love to help her out. It just… happened.
A man should finish what he started.
“Lilia don’t ever fall for a man like that. Ever. Despite the way things ended, I’d hate it if you end up with a man that doesn’t realize your value. The man that marries you, has to be someone that can hold the sky, if he can’t do that much he doesn’t deserve you. I want you to be happy, and not settle for someone that doesn’t even apologize when he is in the wrong. I want you to be loved properly, as a wife, and never settle for a mistress. I want the man that holds you…”
Even if it isn’t me…
“To realize you are his treasure. Don’t settle Lilia. You deserve better”
Despite how close we got, and the many topics we talked about, we were never able to speak about her ‘dark,’ history. I suppose it was that she didn’t want to show that side of herself to me, but that’s just conjecture. As such I could never really talk about certain topics. Simply hoping that my interactions would be enough.
Now that time has passed. The direct approach is the only approach.
“Rudy… that’s a tall order.”
“That’s good, giving orders is what masters do. Besides… one should be selfish when it comes to romantic pursuits.”
I’ve learned that much. I should have been more selfish. The expression love is selfish makes a bit more sense now.
“But seriously… if they don’t recognize your value they don’t deserve you. Don’t ever fall for a man that doesn’t recognize your value. Don’t fall for a man who doesn’t apologize when he’s wronged you.”
I slipped a little, here and there, hinting at things I shouldn’t know, but I can say at least this much. We were never able to breach, ‘that,’ topic, the topic of her and Paul’s first, ‘meeting,’ but I can at least allude to it.
She smiles at my words.
“Master Rudeus has no need to worry. The confusion in my heart has settled now. I won’t be lying with any men for… well,” she runs a hand through my hair. “I have no intention of pursuing a romantic relationship anytime soon. I already decided to throw away that affair, and on top of that I have other matters to deal with,” she rubs her stomach. “Thank you for caring, Rudy.”
“That’s good,” I still wonder, “what does that make us now?”
Why won't I shut up?!
It’s funny… when you’re talking from the heart, the filter on it loosens, and it’s easier for things to come out. Even the things that you don’t want to.
“…”
...there goes the positive atmosphere.
We stand before each other in a minute silence, neither of us saying a word, as we stare at each other.
I guess she doesn’t know either.
An eternity passes…
She kneels down, placing the dirty laundry gently off to the side, before speaking, “I am Master Rudeus’s Maid.”
“And Paul?”
She holds my shoulders, forcing me to look at her. “Rudy,” we face each other. “Paul and I were a mistake. He is my employer, and… and the father of this child, nothing more. You are… you are!” She pauses, smiling. “You are my one and only… master.”
Beautiful.
Damn, I really do have a weak heart.
“Lilia, I…”
She places a finger on my lips.
“It’s fine Rudy. You don’t need to say a thing. I know there are things you can’t say to a person. Even when you want to. If it hurts you to say it, you don’t need to. This,” she places her other hand over my head, “right now, is fine right?” She gives me a faint smile.
“Mmh, yeah…” I mutter through sealed lips
Is it though?
I seize out and grab her hand that has a finger on my lips, moving around our fingers ‘till they interlock, and anchoring her here.
No. It isn’t.
“I’m sorry,” I start.
There's something I need to say.
“Rudy-”
“No, let me talk. I’ve been thinking hard about you, about me, about us for two months, and there are things that don’t need to be said, but there are things that do. This is one of them. Lilia,” I look her in the eye. She flinches at my fervor. “I’m sorry for what I did to you? I… this is slightly more difficult to say than I thought it would be. I lo- I pushed my feelings on to you, and I was hurt when you didn’t return them, but you didn’t betray me. I’m not entitled to your feelings. W-who you like is your decision. You were never indebted to me or owed me anything, and it was just my own selfishness that wanted more. For you to lo-like someone like me… I’m sorry I pushed my feelings onto-”
“Stop!” She yelled. “Stop! Please, stop… Rudy… I… I accept your feelings, but… don’t apologize to me, no, don’t ever apologize for pushing-for loving someone.” She squeezes my hand. “I was happy with how you felt. Your feelings were never a mistake. I just… I was just extremely foolish,” she looks at me, with tears in her eyes. “I couldn’t realize what I… what we had ‘till it was gone. It wasn’t your fault, it was mine.”
“No, I clearly had a hand in-”
“Rudeus is not at-”
“No I won’t have you-”
“The young master-”
“Hey, like I said-”
“Rudy!”
“Lilia!”
And then I saw it. I saw her heart. As we are yelling, I look into her eyes, ‘really,’ look at them, beyond her tears, beyond her irises, and do my best to explore her soul.
I see tears, I see fear, and… I see… pain?
Pain, why?
You know why.
…
Of course I do. I know her the best after all. It’s time to face the truth.
“Pffff, ha ha ha…”
What a joke. I’m a joke. I’m the source of it all. I’m a real piece of work aren’t I. A man shouldn’t make his woman cry.
“W-w-what’s so funny?” She says with a small frown, the blood rushing to her face.
“Nothing, it’s just… this is the first real conversation we’ve had in months, and we’re fighting over who should be apologizing. It’s dumb… it’s all so dumb, Ha ha…” I laugh a little, her blush becoming more prominent then ever before as she looks away annoyed.
“The young master is so stubborn,” she whispers.
I heard that too.
“So are you.”
I noticed our palms still interlocked.
How easy it all is.
“Oh, what the hell.”
I drag her down, and bring her into my arms.
Thinking too hard about things is what got me in this situation. I think it’s time I listened to my gut.
I am a selfish person after all. I should act like it.
“I missed you,” I whispered, holding her tightly, in what felt like an eternity.
Weak heart or not… I needed to do this.
“I missed you too…” She whispers, hugging me back.
An eternity later we separate, looking into each other's eyes. I look into her clear lilacs, and she stares into my own green, separated only by the glasses adorning her features. A melancholic smile later, and the signs of pain departed.
It’s funny how much you can get from someone’s facial expression when you’ve known them for years. We both know there's things the other wants to say, but we also know this is all we can say.
But it’s fine.
For the first time in a long time, we are content with where we are.
The future is unknown, but it’s no longer looming over us.
We don’t have to ignore each other's existence.
We can’t return to what we were, too much has happened between us, but perhaps we can find some kind of middle ground in the future.
Not quite friends, not quite family, just… important. She is important to me.
Love, lust, like, it’s all so convoluted, it twists my heart into knots.
I look down to our hands, and realize they're still interlocked.
…but it doesn’t have to be.
…huh, that’s funny, neither one of us noticed we’re still holding hands.
We let go.
Looking into my own hand, noticing some of the grime I had on me is smudged, and Lilia noticing as well, holds it to her chest for a moment, before moving it to her apron wiping it down.
“Well… Master Rudeus, I’ll leave you to your business. I will wash your shirts without a word. You need not worry about your parents.”
My parents… that’s right…
“Thanks Lilia. By the way… how are you dealing with your pregnancy?”
Her eyes flutter at my change of topic. “It's fine. The morning sickness took a little to get used to, but I’ll manage.”
“I see, Heal,” I cast a spell on her. “Lilia, do you miss Zenith?”
“Yes, I do, but I-”
“Yep, no, that’s enough. That’s all I needed to know. I need to take a bath now, see you at dinner.”
She opens her mouth.
“Masters orders.” I interjected.
As I said, I am a selfish person, and now that I’ve managed to strengthen our bond, I can’t help but want more. This household is made of more than me and her. It’s time I start taking steps for those two as well.
Your compliance won’t be necessary Lilia. This time around I’m going to be a little more pushy. Funny enough I was already quite pushy, but… I was actually holding back.
This time I’ll hold back just a little less.
I left her alone to do her maid duties, as I warmed up the water that had gone cold during our interaction.
“Well? Are you going to give me room, I’m actually quite cold standing here shirtless like this for so long.”
Her eyes flutter, as she processes what I just said, looking me up and down, before realizing the state I’m in.
I’m cold.
“O-O-Of course.”
You’d think she had noticed I’m shirtless after checking my body over for wounds and whatnot.
Grabbing the shirt I had worn previously, she makes a dash out the room.
“Lilia wait, the-”
Bang!
She slammed the door on the way out.
How cold~
“The washboard…” I stood slack jawed a bit at her reactions. Her reactions caught me off guard.
She left the washboard in her haste.
I guess I’ll have to wash my own clothes one more time.
Funny, I almost forgot how fun it is to break her cold demeanor.
Careful Lilia, if I didn’t know better, I might call you a maiden in love, ha ha ha…
Jokes still hurt.
I turn back to my tub of water waiting for me, eager to enter my shangri la finally. “It’s cold…” I swirl the pool of water, letting my finger make whirlpools as I reheated it.
“...so dutiful.”
///
Overall, it was nice.
After that, we spent some time catching up, as it were. How she’s dealing with her pregnancy, how she's dealing with the cold, her relationship, or lack thereof, with Paul and Zenith, etc.
I don’t know if we’ll ever go back to what we used to be. Except for that one hug, I can’t see myself hugging her too much in the future. But I’ve already taken the first steps to having some kind of relationship with her, even if it’s familial.
Now then… How do I repair her and Zenith’s relationship?
With our relationship melded, I can only selfishly rebuild Lilia’s and Zenith’s as well. Excluding the nuisance that is Paul, Lilia and Zenith's most important relationship was to each other. I intend to make it so once more.
Before all this they were definitely best friends, or at least that’s how I saw it.
I missed Lilia, and if I missed her… then I know Zenith did too.
Now how?
“...and so the Dragon King ascended to his castle, where he waited for the revival of the demon lord once more, so he could vanquish him, and peace could flourish eternally, the end.”
Huh, what? Oh the end.
“Ah, huh… yeah,” I yawned.
That was… dull…
I kind of Zoned out there for a moment, thinking about the future.
Currently it is night time, and we are sitting in bed, me and Zenith, as we enjoy a night time read. Me with my back against her, sitting between her legs, and her with her arms on either side of me, holding the book between us as she reads over my head. Just another bedtime experience.
We don’t need to read it like this, but I think she just enjoys the closeness.
Although, enjoyment might be a bit of an exaggeration.
I wished she had better reading material.
As part of our ending routine, Zenith and I spend time reading bedtime stories together as I go to sleep.
At first it was quite… ‘novel.’
Patush-tush.
But this world's literature really is-no, I'll just say it: It’s boring as hell. I’ve said it once, I’ll say it a thousand times. Reading fantasy stories in this world is dull. Have you ever read Romeo, and Juliet.
Yeah, yeah, classic. You know what else it is. Pretentious as all fuck!
‘I was just waltzing within the winter winds.’
What are you even saying?! Asuran, motherfucker, do you speak it?!
The plot is good, but every little thing gets a speech or a detail. Like that winter quote. I guess it has its appeal, but still! Shakespearean is a term for a reason, but it’s just not my cup of tea.
‘My lord, the enemy is at hell’s gate. Fear not young sir, for it is I the great armored dragon king son of the Crystal, and master of fairies. Fear not for you have… Blah, blah, blah… Shut-Up!
Why the hell do all your writings sound like this? Do all your protagonists have their heads up their own asses? Argggg!
Anyways, except for the history books, which I’ve read through already, and starting to have some doubts about as well. The tales in this world have a habit of speaking in a grandiose manner that really kills the mood. Ironically, they read like Xianxia despite existing in a fantasy.
“You don’t like this, do you?” She pouts.
Ooph! Right in the heart.
“I did…once… I’m just too old for them now.” I scratch bashfully, at my cheek.
Not a lie; like Romeo and Juliet, I could read the first or second time just fine. They’re still a pleasant read. But after that? That’s just torture!
Zenith frowns.
Leaning up, I kiss her on the cheek.
Don’t say I don’t know how to soothe her.
She hugs me tightly, nuzzling her chin on my shoulder, her body pressing against me.
“I think the story is a bit outdated,” I confess.
“Mmm, I think we’ve already read everything. I guess we could read from the bestiary one more time?”
“Isn’t that just homework?”
“Ha ha, I guess you’re right. So, nap time?” She offers.
“Are you sleepy?”
“No, but what do we do?”
“Well, there is one story I am curious about. Why don’t you tell me about you?” I asked.
“Me?”
“Yeah, why not?”
“Sure! Well~ Mama used to be a legendary adventure, you know,” she raises her chin proudly. “Let’s see, there was a time when Ghilaine once had to deliver-”
“As interesting as that sounds…”
And I’m sure it would be, but I have a clear objective for tonight.
I raise my voice a higher octave so I can stop her before she gets steamrolling. She does that from time to time.
“How ‘bout you work to it. I want to hear about your beginning.”
She flutters her eyes rapidly in confusion, “the beginning?”
“Yeah, you know. Your everyday life. Who you were? What you did, when you were five, ten, fifteen, you know; the story of Zenith.”
I’m not trying to play to her ego or anything. It is something I'm genuinely curious about. Unlike these stories, filled with hyperbole and exaggeration. I’d rather hear the story about her, and how she started her life. As someone that came from the real world, who once considered her fiction, I am genuinely interested about her past. The author barely explored her.
I’m curious!
I want to know who the woman behind the man is as it were.
Where is the dlc?! Let it out woman; give me the bonus content!
She is from a different country, a different religion, and different culture, and yet her background was barely dived into.
Such a travesty!
Indeed, tell me about the story, the myth, the legend… of Zenith!
Jokes aside, I do wanna know who she is, or more accurately who she was.
“My… story? Rudy… are you sure? Noble life isn’t exactly exciting.”
“Yep.”
“Really?”
“A-ha,” I agreed once more.
“You sure? My life was much more exciting when I started traveling, you know.”
“Yup,” I kiss her cheek, “you’re a thousand times more interesting than some foggy tale about some old dungeon explorers. Now stop skipping ahead, and tell me your life’s story.”
Besides… If I play my cards right, I could get closer to her, and use that closeness to bridge the gap between her and Lilia.
Operation relationship fixer is a go!
I will be the bridge that brings them together.
I am neutral with the Paul scenario, but with Lilia and Zenith, I don’t mind taking a more proactive stance.
Hypocrite?
Go f yourself. If it's for my important 'ones,' I will gladly be the biggest hypocrite in the world. Paul does not fit into that equation. If this is what it takes to get them to smile. It will be worth it.
///
Zenith [pov]
Rudy fell asleep against me.
“Rudy~” I poked his cheek, “falling asleep against a woman when she’s talking to you is bad manners. Who taught you such a thing? What are you going to do when you hurt your future wife's feelings?” I whispered, running my hand through his hair. “Consider yourself lucky that I am so understanding.”
I was telling him the story of when Anise, Therese and I were pulling a prank on our elder brother, pulling his mattress into the garden. While he slept on top of it. His face was priceless. It might not have been the thrilling story Rudy was expecting, but it’s my story, and I enjoy it.
“Honestly,” I flick his nose.
Once there was a time we were all children, and were free to enjoy our time together. By the time I could read or talk, big brother was already twelve, and starting to distance himself, so I was never able to see his carefree side, but according to my sisters, he did have one. So they decided to prove it. One day me and my sisters decided to pull a prank on him. That's the story I told him. A simple memory of us pranking him.
He was quite annoyed.
But… he smiled.
Back then, when all my siblings were still living under the same roof, we were happy. Those days were liberating.
At that time I hadn’t started any etiquette lessons yet, Anise was willing to entertain me and Therese was just so cute, and adorable. It was a simpler time. It was a time when we could laugh and play merrily. Even Edgar, despite being so cold, would still break his demeanor if we pushed hard enough.
Although, mother wasn’t amused, but… that’s a story for another day.
“I’ll tell you all about it when you wake up,” I play with his hair, running my hand through his hair strands. “After all,” I look at his hands, and notice the signs of some grime underneath a couple of his nails, “you’ve already had a long day haven’t you?”
Grime can be very difficult to get out of your fingernails.
Despite the closeness we now have, he still does his own little thing in secret, but unlike Paul, I don’t have to worry about it being something nefarious. I just hope we’ll get close enough soon that he won't feel the need to hide it.
Whatever ‘it,’ is.
As long as he’s only ‘a little,’ tired, and not ‘a lot,’ tired I can afford to look the other way. This closeness isn’t something I want to give up.
I go back to playing with his hair, bringing my hands to the side of his face, as he pushes unknowingly against it.
How cute~
I move my hand from his face, down to his neck, tracing it with the back of my hand, slowly and slowly, until it reaches his collar bone, and… his neck starts twisting, “mmh,” he moaned.
“Heh~” I found a weak spot. “Consider this your punishment for sleeping on me. Your future wife might not be as kind as me.”
Leaving my finger in his collarbone, trapped between his hand, I wiggle it a little, making Rudy give a pained expression. He’s ticklish there. It’s something I found out one night, when we were sleeping, and it is something I take advantage of from time to time.
“This is for sleeping on me…”
I pick at his collar bone.
“Mmh…” he groaned, his neck arching.
Heh~ how fun~
Just a little though. Afterall, I'm only a little annoyed.
“I suppose I did ramble a bit, so I’ll give you a pass tonight,” I let my hand free, letting him enjoy a goodnight’s rest. I get closer, and give him a kiss on the forehead. “Stay awake next time will you.”
“I really am lucky to have you. You are my precious gift from Millis. I hope you never grow up. Your wife can have you for the rest of her life, but I get to have you for the rest of this decade. Until then… you’re all mine.” I pat him affectionately. “In any case, thank you for listening.”
Looking out the window, I notice the stars sparkling.
It really is like those early days, just filled with warmth and hope for the future. It’s like a fairy tale. Perhaps happily ever afters are real. I am really happy right now. Happier than I thought I could be, all things considered.
If this isn’t a blessing from Millis, then nothing is.
This is supposed to be the darkest period of my life, and yet…
I turned to Rudy.
I can’t help but think that it wouldn’t be so bad if this continued just a little longer.
I tap his nose with my finger, causing him to scrunch his nose unconsciously.
Adorable.
One day, he’s going to grow up, and become a real heartbreaker, too old to sleep in his mama’s bed, but… that day isn’t today.
I hold him close to my heart.
All this talking reminded me of my past has made me nostalgic. Back to when I was a little girl, back before even my parents cared about appearances, before rules, and I was free to frolic with my siblings. The everyday, carefree days, that brought a smile to my face. These days… really are the best.
I wonder what they're doing now?
“Yawn…”
…my eyes are getting tired.
I guess I really did talk for a long time.
Looking at Rudy one last time, I made sure to hold him tight like always, and kissed him one more time. “Good night, my Rudy. Tomorrow… let’s frolic some more.”
I truly am blessed.
I don't get why he has to explain anything to her and she cheated on him once already who's to say if they get together she won't have more "confusion"
as much i would agree in normal circumstances, you forget the main issue is his age currently. and added to the fact that she helped raise him since infancy.
but short and simple this was likely a one off issue with lilia. she now knows what doing something like that does to him. and she's decided to take him more seriously. up to a few month ago when she hooked up with paul she was fence sitting. now she knows what she actually wants. and it aint just sex, but snuggles too! lol
f*ck yeah, time to patch up the relationships. And f*ck paul.
Things are starting to looks good but knowing you so far and the previous chapters something gonna happen this is building up to something only to let us fall imma not let my heart broken, wander how Rudeus will be sent as a teacher to ires.
Tftc
No, author needs to control these, too much 'spice', and repeatedly serving it again and again will just make the readers exhausted. Be careful author, but still yet this is a great read.
Heh... so the MC thinks that armored dragon king vs the demon lord was a fantasy story, eh? This implys either MC's previous self only watched the anime, or [Canon Spoilers Ahead]
He never reached the part where Silent Seven Stars brought Rudeus and Zanoba to Armored Dragon King Perugius's floating castle. Perugius even comments on how astonishing it is that Rudeus has as much Mana as the Demon King Laplace had before his entire being was split in 2 and sealed by Perugius.
It's not an error that Technique God Laplace is considered the only being more powerful than Dragon God Orsted. Its also correct that Demon God Laplace is only slightly behind Orsted as the 4th great power. He occupies 2 of the "Seven Great Powers" due to being split.
oh, and Don't overestimate Demon Lord Badigadi. Aka 3rd great power "Fighting God" Badigadi. His position is 100% reliant on a special set of armor.
Fun fact: when Orsted made Ruijerd look like a child with a stick, he was using Water God Sword Style. With his fingernails as his "sword." Orsted is a God Class combatant in all schools except i believe North God. He can use almost all God Class magics freely, as well as magic unique to dragonkind, the mana-devouring dragongates
Just wanted to know if you are the real author and if you are when are you gonna continue the story you left on webnovel
oh sh*t he really is on that shitty WN site. and the story is farther ahead on there too. wonder if the releases here as as he edits them.
I'm the real one. As for what happened with the original story; several months ago my family went through 'an event,' let's call it that, and it affected my writting. And for two months I didn't write anything, combine that with writter's block and I was stuck. Decided to repurpose my time, and go back and do edits at the end of that two months. Did it for... about a month straight...aaaaand.
It was the worst possible decision.
When you are in a negative headspace it's really hard to tell that your in a negative space, until after the fact. So I edited several chapter 10-20, or something, but then the drama ended, things got better, and I went back to it, aaaand... I realized all my negativity was pouring in my writing. The content is overall the same, but their was definitely a negative tone, with more negative descriptions being used. Combine that with the fact, I went back and realized chapters 30-32 were straight ass, and I spent almost two months on just recovery.
As for continuing back on Webnovel.
Eventually. I do like to finish what I started. I just wanted to fix the f*ck ups I made, and edit. I already, re-edited all those poor mistakes. Now I'm just making minor edits and putting them here.
Just think of this chapters as the final product.
@loshi1505
More or less.
I posted their first, before I was confident about my writing as it felt more... armature friendly, but that's besides the point.
Anyways, the WN version is more or less this story pre-draft. It's overall the same plot, but some details are missing, or rearranged. I heavily recommend this read over the other. That said, the WN version has pictures here and their, so you could always go for that.
Still though... I hope you don't as this is the better read, and it might ruin your read here if you read spoilers only to come back here and read the better version.
@crownedclown7
spoilers don't bug me, and your response is too late~ i'm already on ch 30. chances are i'll still re-read or skim read to spot differences here.
@loshi1505
Ah... well at least your getting to the Paul chapters you were after. Sidenote; going back and editing I noticed chapter 30-32 were straight ass. Good luck with those.
Also you read 29 huh? Good?
@crownedclown7
honestly i'm thinking the blame should go a little more lilia than paul from zenith. but only until lilia opens up about why she did the things she did and her issue. i think that should've been tackled around that chapter. (though that also means zenith would now know about lilia and rudy)
i mean i hate to side with that one guy that was calling zenith a doormat... but she forgives lilia much too quickly. there need to be more hostility initially imo. just for the process of forgiveness to really hit home ya know.
i'll be seeing what you mean about 30-32 soon-ish. might have to do it tomorrow though. somewhat busy today now and i'm most certainly going to crash after i'm done. >_<
but other than the issue i mentioned i think 29 was pretty heart warming.
@crownedclown7
wow ok yeah the one on WN is really a rough draft.
you dropped the whole paul knows about rudy having a thing for lilia outta no where. that right there was exactly why i wanted and think you needed to have earlier paul POV segments, even if they were short at the end of chapters or whatever. gotta build on that foreshadowing. also paul should feel even worse about himself for cucking his son. god knows he'd want to kill a man if something like that happened to him by someone he considered family. he should damn well have that much awareness. he's a pual not a ret*rd.
other than that 30 was filler, but fine for the most part. he should've gotten his kite destroyed trying to water slide with it though. no way the rocks and branches would go easy on him.
31 was ok, honestly i liked it better than 30 and paul was being a more typical paul there. (you really need to post the art here too, it's not completely against site TOS ya know. there's a few other stories that do and have gotten away with it for years.)
so i figure you're opting to go down the paul was unaware of rudy's feelings for lilia route here on this edited version... or hoping you are. this would lead to paul still acting as he does in 30. and would make it a LOT easier for rudy to be able to forgive him. and it would still be optional for rudy not to. after all paul would've pulled a pual trying to be a good dad saving his 7yo kid from the lusty shotacon maid in that case. also yipes the only thing good about lilia is her body? in the WN version you really are making paul the bad guy aren't you. >_<
welp if you do continue down the hate on paul path i would suggest paul being more direct about how inappropriate rudy's infatuation with lilia is.... to his own folly of course. it'll cost him his son forever. and would likely chain reaction over to closing any rudy x zenith mistakes.... or would escalate it...
lastly now that i've rested, adding onto my input of 29. i think it works best if zenith places more blame on lilia than paul because of the logic she uses. and that paul is her husband who she's supposed to be more favorable towards. like they're both rationally in the wrong, but zenith is applying double standards towards lilia since it's sorta expected of paul to cheat being the womanizer he is. but then the realization hit her during the play that she doesn't want to lose her friend even more than her husband. and that her anger was entirely fueled by her perceived betrayal of trust. which for reasons she has to ponder on later, has trust and expectations in greater amount with lilia than paul. and later realizes how much she's emotionally dependent on rudy similarly after lilia confesses about her thing for him while explaining why she slept with paul.
adding to that idea, it can play into why zenith is still giving paul the cold shoulder. it's a slightly irrational thing where she want to be wooed by him for something other than just sex. possibly inspired by her recent experiences with rudy and what little lilia has told her about their flirtations. so she's raised the bar on paul without telling him kinda thing. but it also calling into question in the back of her mind. does she actually love paul or not. and she wants him to make her love him for real this time as an unconscious or maybe semiconscious intention.
random question, but why didn't paul sleep in a nearby inn or something in the village? surely there's one never mentioned for traveling merchants and such. heck paul should've asked laws for a room to sleep in or something. could've been a starting point for their friendship and lol plans. paul also could've used and abandoned or requisitioned a house form someone in the village too if he wanted to.
on a side and plot unrelated tone, jokes could've been made with the mining about not only mincraft but about child labor and how all children yearn for the mines! LOL well if that chapter isn't shrunk down and shoved inside another chapter that is. imo i'm fine with filler chapters as the entire premise of MT was slow day by day life until the author's impatience got the better of him. kinda why i'm a slight bit annoyed at you for the month long time skips after the cheating fallout. but it's fine. *sigh*
gonna start reading 33+ now i guess... though i'm thinking it'll be pointless since you're likely diverging from the WN version around 29-32.
@crownedclown7
ch 33+
honestly rudy could've just said he struck a deal with paul but doesn't like it. and refuse to tell zenith the details of it when they were flying kites. funny sh*t too with lilia and zenith acting derpy and spoiled for no real reason. could've been funnier if rudy gave a kiss on lilia's lips just after her "tee~hee~". just to pay them both back with some shock value before running off.... but then i read the ending of the chapter so i changed my mind. tee~hee~!
34
the rhyme needs work. 'roses are red, violets are blue, you tease too much, so i shall too~!' might be a better one. i know you're trying for a compliment there but the rhyme in the rough draft doesn't work.
35
well damn, pual is right but wrong at the same time. fool needs to rebuild his relationship with his son and take these setbacks with stride. but not in the way he's doing. he's too focused on it as if it were a zero sum game, win or lose. he needs to understand so long as he can rejoin his family rudy included it's a win. then he can better speak about his worries, in a much less confrontational tone. he needs to better speak about how he would've been like in rudy's shoes. not that paul can accomplish such a feat off the rip. but still. also geez paul shouldn't you be a little proud of your son for having taste in lilia? but again that's an issue i've already addressed. hopefully it gets done better in the edited version if not changed to the paul didn't know version which maybe is the case in 35? idk it feels like half the paul POV was rudy = rival with the other half being save rudy from child predator lilia. not gonna lie either it feels very paul like despite it being... undesirable plot and writing wise. very undesirable. as for the lilia segment, damn lilia is almost a different character. if it wasn't for pregnancy hormones i might actually suggest a change there. but it's fine. :P
36
................ should i be happy or disappointed right now? happy that zenith FINALLY knows rudy likes lilia... or disappointed that she's pulling a pual. *inhales deeply* *sighs loudly* yep brain.exe has stopped functioning. there is no goo answer to this. honestly this should've happened long ago. so idk. regardless though i'm disappointed in lilia a little. not gonna cover for rudy even the slightest? yipes woman that's cold. especially since she's the one who broke rudy's heart before. not covering his ass here is... just totally shameless and a selfish d*ck move.
37
well then. honestly rudy should've fessed up he's been after lilia for years and asking her advice. and told her about how he's already been hurt by lilia and how... that was among the best chances to do it. she's taking it upon herself to be a teacher after all. he should've confided in her and sought her insight. hell even asking her to probe lilia's thoughts on the matter another day and telling him the results would be good too. also wow, cowgirl and her water breaks at that timing. talk about what would normally cause a trauma to sex.
will read 38+ later.
@loshi1505
So I found out about the first draft yesterday and already read everything and Losh? Trust me when I say you got a ally in annoyance and you see nothing yet >.>
@loshi1505
Alright let's get to this. Theirs a lot of things to get to, and I don't think I could answer everything within one review, and still keep it short, so I'll simply address what I feel is the most important ones.
First thing first, Paul and his reactions. Theirs two points I have to say about that. First, People grow based on their experiences, character growth is based on character on character interaction, and I feel I should note that, their are similarities, their are also differences. This Paul didn't bond with Rudy the same way cannon did. Not truly. And those little details matter. Setting up a different dynamic, Paul handles Rudy in a completely different way, and doesn't get corrected by Rudy like he does in cannon, because of it, it leads to a Paul that is much more... 'set in his ways' (stubborn) then his cannon self. A pre-Rudy Paul if you would.
The second; about Lilia and his pov considering her and Rudy.
Honestly, I would agree with you in any other situation, except for one thing. It's Lilia. Here's the thing, it's Lust, but thanks to cannon we do get to read into his mindset, and know that, from his point of view, he thought it was love. When you put those factors together, then we have a man that feels he was used(because he was), and that woman you were after is interested in your kid instead.
In any other situation, if Rudy had told him about Lilia, then yeah I could see him going; that's my boy! And what not, but because it's Rudy, and because it happened as it did, he feels a sense of betrayal.
So yeah... complicated relationship.
I feel theirs something I'm forgetting to add, but that covers the gist of it.
As for Zenith... she is... complicated. I get where you're coming from, and your arguments are logical, but... Zenith isn't logical.
Alright, here it goes; Zenith is a former noble from the Millis continent. A sheltered wallflower that until her fifteenth birthday, lived in a very secluded community. A bird in a cage. It's not until she started adventuring did she start seeing the world, and even then that was limited. She was taken advantage of for a small while, and eventually got with Paul. When you do the math take in the pregnancy and time of conception, and you realize they've been together for somewhere around a year.
Meaning Zenith's experience of the real world, is limited to her time in the remote village we read in story, and that one year she has exploring. Her experiences are limited.
And now we get to the most important factor; She is a noble. Even if she has developed some modicum of common sense living her life. You can't undo years of living that simply.
So is she biased? Of course she is, how couldn't she.
It's the common sense of that world that maids are to attend to their masters, and mistresses are a thing. It's perfectly normal for someone to end up pregnant, and then have to leave. It's even more expected among Asuran nobility.
So yes, she is treating them differently, but it aligns with the way she sees the world.
@NeonS
You read everything in a day?! Are you insane?! How far? Where are you?!
...you okay?
Even I wouldn't recommend someone to read my whole story in one day. I pretty sure I put plenty of Author notes in the bottom stating that.
@crownedclown7
i am 100% with you on paul being a paul. (pretty sure i said that didn't i?) so him competing with rudy in 33+ makes sense. the part where i wished he wasn't was me venting. sorry that gets mixed in my advice and suggestion. but par for the course for reader investment. :P please keep in mind my phrasing when i'm venting and giving actual suggestions. (i try to be as clear as i can and try separate the two. no bulli~! )
i absolutely do not expect all my suggestions to be used. i'm not your typical reader in that way. i throw things out there to see if you like any of them. give my take on things and provide some insight into characters or plot where i think my insight could inspire or on the off chance directly contribute. i only have expectations for thing to get 'better' later or entertaining. :P i only am direct with things that need 'immediate' fixing. as per the rhyme which i'm glad you liked. (the original one did not rhyme at all. >_> )
welp... i'mma prob be jumping on the hate on paul train if you keep he intentional cucked rudy though. personally i think unintentionally is the way to go. but paul being paul i still expect him to pull more paul regardless. hopefully i can still find some enjoyment in him.... hopefully. >_>
As for Zenith... she is... complicated. I get where you're coming from, and your arguments are logical, but... Zenith isn't logical.
i mean... that's exactly why i gave the feedback and suggestions as i did. because it's entirely likely she'd initially react the way i mentioned. then 180 back around to more or less exactly as you had it. but (and this is me wishing here) being more forceful about why it all happened. which we do get a glimpse of later on... but god is it frustrating how the air is only partially cleared. like that's my pet pevee bro. i'm gonna vent, rant, and rave! EVERYTIME on that shit.
@crownedclown7
I read all 47 (too lazy to check if that accurate) chapters and are you really insane if you admit your insane? Doesn't admitting it make you sane?
As for being okay, more annoyed.
Honestly, plot wise, all I read make, if annoying, make sense character wise. I do have a few pet preeves tho.
Paul is Paul, a jealous spoiled child who never had to mature because he never had to confront his problems. Who rather want to hurt someone than admit he is wrong. Who felt sighted and is taking it out on the one person he could while disguising it as worry and love.
Lilia, I fear, became less of an important character and more of a plot device. Her importance's and sense of urgency fall becomes nearly non-existent.
Zenith, like I said some chapters back, she someone dealing with a puppy love being tainted by the removal of her rose color glasses. I want to be annoyed with her, she been accidentally gaslighting Rudy with her many rules and her "exceptions" and "double standards" all jn the name of being a good mother.
To be fair, it not her or Paul fault when it comes to being parents. Rudy wouldn't let them be parents to him. Honestly, if you take a step back, their relationship is a mixture of older/younger siblings and Love Rival/Interest.
Rudy, it kinda hard to get a read on him at times. He is both passive in attuide, in letting Laws, Zenith, and Paul used him and bully him while keeping his opinion to him self even tho he hate the situation and knows it going to stay worst. And is active in trying to fix Zenith and Lila relationship yet only because he reacting to some event or other.
Even Slyphie has my annoyance right now. I refused to believe she doesn't know about Rudy feelings toward Paul non Paul feelings to Rudy especially after his drunken wpisode. So her telling Paul about Rudy does not make sense, more so that she doesn't immediately tell about Paul weirdness to him afterwards. Less said about Paul visit to her room after the fight the better.
Speaking of the Fight, it the only event out of the later chapters that made me smile. It just feels so good to finally see the issues come to head. What I hate is the aftermath, it just does not make sense. Rudy has no desire, no need, to leave his home. The fact he agreed despite not wanting to go does not make sense. Especially after his whole deal of waiting until the girls are old enough, until he knows Zenith can make it, of being unwilling to leave their safety to Paul due to him being someone no one can trust on. Especially after the horror that was the beach birth.
The only way I can see the move working is if the girls decided to move with him.
@crownedclown7
alright one last chapter before i hit the sack.
38
wow, we really went there with rudy being the doctor. honestly he should demand therapy after this. he's never gonna look at a vagina the same again. lilia is now obligated to cure him via 's*x therapy'. and zenith should approve and supervise this.
but no seriously dude should be scared from this, reincarnation or not.
@crownedclown7
39
to be fair to paul, if he was being more of his old self instead of letting desperation guide him he'd just pest the f*ck outta rudy trying to bond with him. while his insights make sense, it also isn't objectively true per say. he honestly just needs to quit drinking his issues away and speak to his family about his worries and feelings. i'm sure everyone would ease up a little more then. (me venting more or less)
normally that is, again this is why i think the intentional versus unintentional is the deal breaker. if ANYONE knows paul intentionally cucked rudy they'd wish him dead. hell i wish rudy knew he intentionally did to this WN version. then he could just take him out back and give him the ol' yeller treatment. imo WN paul version has no redeeming features. there's no moral grey to him, just pure selfish sh*t head black. and that's not a pual i can enjoy.
40
...... alright i feel like there's some hitogami f*ckery afoot now. that's pauls only excuse at this point. and even then hito only tricks people not directly controls them. paul needs to die. sylphy telling him sh*t about rudy is a little far fetched, but within reason since paul would be lying though his teeth to her. so no major issue there, just forced off screen assumptions.
that said, the pack dynamic symmetry to pauls mindset irony was not lost on me. i laughed and cringed. i hate it and love it. still hope scribble version has paul being redeemable instead of WN version filth. on right on that point, this paul is no better than gisu or however the monkey man's name went from paul's party. and i don't only mean this in the 'no morally better' way either.... i mean he's pretty much a gisu clone story wise now. he isn't paul anymore. where's my best fool paul at and what did you do with him?
41
well holy f*cking shit, there's that pual i was looking for. and damn i got emotional reading that. if i was rudy i would've force the issue, bringing it back to 'only one of us walks away form this'. and probably would've told him that with the fallow up question, 'which of us would zenith cry for most do you think?'. rudy should not be convinced by this to leave the family, he should be taking the family with him to grow elsewhere (ie get a job and come home to fam everyday). essentially that's what paul redirects the issue into... even though the actual issue is him himself and the complacency of rudy's training. which is hella ironic and a small bit unfitting considering he worked himself into paladin's syndrome before. but hey it's normal as f*ck to over compensate and switch between two extremes.
also side note, rudy should not have healed himself. he should use his own body as leverage against paul. zenith would throw paul out again if he did that, maybe even divorce him entirely.
oh right about lilia, paul make one good point. and that was rudy forgave her too quickly. that's about it. he's wrong about everything else obviously. rudy also should have answered how long he's been crushing on lilia too. and how he was the one who made the first moves doing some of pauls own worm his way into their heart + actually get to know them. also why the hell didn't rudy retort that zenith already knows.... like that shuts down a lot of the issue completely.
alright i'mma take a break. i'll get to 42+ later. maybe even a couple days later, i need to mull this all over.
@loshi1505
'which of us would zenith cry for most do you think?'.
You... I like you. [spider-man finger point]
Also thanks for the review, I feel I might have to put an author poll on the Paul issue at a later point. I thought I made it obvious that he knew about Rudy's feelings for Lilia, but not to the extent. In chapter 17(?), I think, I tried to foreshadow that he knows he has a crush on her, but that's it. From his point of view he thinks it's just a case of puppy love, and it wouldn't matter, besides the fact that he's cheating on Zenith, that he makes a move on her.
Thinking back on it... I might not have made the proper details that Paul figure out the extent of their relationship between chapters, that's a huge mistake on my part, will try to add some foreshadowing, or revisit the first Paul pov to add that insight of him. Because he is bad, but he isn't Gisu bad.
I'll have to focus hard on the 30's.
But yeah, from his point of view it wasn't 'that bad,' because he is an adult, and he is a child. Think of yourself as a full grown adult making a move on your son's teacher/teacher equivalent, and you know your child has a crush on them, but you don't think it will affect them. That was more or less Paul in that situation.
@crownedclown7
glad my sh*t posting is of use! and yea, i only remember roxy and sylphy taking notice of rudy being obsessed with lilia. though to be fair if it was there it was too subtle and i missed or forgot it completely. this is also why i was hugely advocating paul POV segments for so long. you can reinforce certain important information via whatever method you choose.
but seriously though, in that fight in the WN version why doesn't he actually try to kill paul? he has every reason to, actively trying to tear him away from the family, views lilia one of his loved one as a threat, and clearly shows from get go he knew rudy liked her and still slept with her. he is by all accounts a threat to the family at that point. (specifically referring to the start of the fight, later on it just devolves into paul BSing his way though with feigned worry about rudy.)
honestly if i was rudy and paul ziped over to me and pointed that blade at my throat. i'd tell him to do it. and have fun explaining that to zenith. his body and health is an actual hostage against paul. he can't do sh*t without major backlash.
and paul dying in the woods is far more believable than if rudy did.
but yeah bro. paul intentionally cucking rudy or not is the deal breaker for me. i honestly can't in a believe a paul who knew rudy had a thing for lilia, and still went though with it could ever have good intentions again. -9000 trust (it's over [negitive] 9000!), 6 star GTA crime rating f*ck sending the military just nuke the city, etc.
@loshi1505
Got it, I'll try to take note of that on the edits.
As for not trying to kill Paul, I might rewrite a little to make him more violent, that is something I considered, but I also want to point out, that Paul is literally attacking him at his weakest. He was planning that for days, and made sure to attack him when he would be the most exhausted. Rudy at that point is an exhausted mess. Both mentally, and physically.
@crownedclown7
sorry i'm being a pushy bastard. those chapters got my goat. it's very clear i still need to wind down and clear my head! LOL
random thought, but you could change to the paul was belligerent and unaware until after the fact. (like as he reflects after getting thrown out the house) which could be the good medium for denial of reality of his own shitheadness. the dissonance that he can't believe he cucked his own son could very well play into the blame child predator lilia mindset he has.
this could also play very well into how his head starts clearing up as he's fighting rudy. the face rudy makes to him mirroring the one he saw that day. slowly realizing he's the problem as he faces rudy's hatred and venom. this should lead to some actual paul redemption later on. especially so if he back tracks on wanting rudy out of the household.
hell that could be the idea for the family to move. rudy's growth has indeed stagnated a fair bit. but separating him from the family would be no better than how paul walked out on his own father. thus time to pack up and move and hopefully put all the bad feelings behind them. for a new better life in a new house elsewhere.
but yeah. if the metastasis event issue is solved by paul i'm going to laugh my ass off. and i'm sure dozens of other people would join me. that would be quite unexpected, but at the same time sensical since stuff like that happen IRL frequently enough.
@crownedclown7
alright back at it. figured i'd continue posting here to keep it all in one place.
42
why doesn't he just say he got in a fight with paul to zenith? what's stopping him? and considering his MP is too low, going to zenith or sylphy for actual healing should be the smart move even if he stupidly didn't want to say why.
also a note to your author note, you should still save every chapter you delete on your PC. just for reference, inspiration, and to see how far you've come. just title the chapters 00a, 00b, etc. that way you can keep track of the drafts and not oops post the wrong version. then you can f*ck around with a flow chart like how one would explain multiverse theory. LOL
43
cute, and zenith is right. but rudy should already know all this. even in a zonked and nearly crippled state all he should be thinking about is getting back to them. then after rest think about paul and his idiocy again. *sigh*
44
uh-huh... and spiderman also loses most of his loved one via violent deaths. (or just MJ cheating on him again) i really don't think you're thinking this though rudy, are you still mana deficient? did you catch a pual, pauls are very contagious you know. *sigh* but damn the rest of this chapter was gold. well except for him excluding his old name. tbh he should readily say it but say it's not quite him anymore or something. he's aged past that identity for the last 7 years and is fully committed to his new life, new name, and his family he grew to love. damn good chapter otherwise.
45
glad the clearing the air is starting to become a trend. still, why doesn't lilia propose moving the family to join him? just as a spitball idea. >_>
beautiful chapter otherwise.
46
is that nanahoshi? because if it is oh boy. i guess she's gonna be in the eventual harem then. and that would be one way to save her from herself. >_> also i see now you have a plan for why rudy isn't saying his old name. that's good that means we'll get to it eventually! :P
also about figurines, why no jokes about how messy they tend to be in jars? LOL
actually wait... lisa? so not nanahoshi? or are we going the she changed her name when she moved to japan thing?
if only i could take you with me.
*inhales deeply*
*exhales LOUDLY while groaning in frustration*
sylphy has got to be used to this... actually why doesn't she just intrude more... and just go meet at his house most of the time.
47
wait what? since when was pax even comparably talented in magic to canon rudy?
sylphy of the north wind feel thy breeze!
pretty sure 'thine' is supposed to go there. also.... is that a fart joke from sylphy of all people?
48
hmm, not much to say other than i think it could be shortened and added to one of the other chapters. *shrug*
@crownedclown7
btw how the heck is
the harem supposed to happen now. LOL sure lilia could, and seemingly still wants to, push sylphy on him... despite knowing his mental age now.... or lilia just really wants to bully rudy using sylphy. like "you stole the heart of this young girl already idiot, you gotta take responsibility~!
also random meme you could use just before/during the start of the paul fight.
rudy stupid thoughts - "i see... peace was never an option."
@loshi1505
You underestimate how much of a freak Lilia is. I laid out a few hints, but I'm definitely going to need to write a lemon in the future to get my point across.
@crownedclown7
She make those royals nobles look like blushing virgins
@crownedclown7
mhmm, i caught on to some hints.
specifically about lilia and zenith behind closed doors... but idk, i guess i just had a hard time thinking rudy would be game for it at this point. despite his wandering thoughts at times. i mean shit, dude is a romantic. so anyone he's gonna sleep with at this point is gonna be someone he want in his family ya know.
guess that might mean paul was right about lilia, but in a different sense. she's gonna groom rudy to be a whore that would make elinalise act like a maiden.
@crownedclown7 Author-san MC really shouldn't be a Simp anymore(I'm telling from my Experience as I already read WN till Chapter 48).
MC really should Express his thoughts as MC's thoughts are Sometimes more Reasonable than his "Speeches&Decisions".
Please Don't Try to Keep the Major Canon Events Same Anymore,Pls.
I mean first you allowed "Lilia&Paul" Infidelity happen and even kept MC(Rudy) away even though MC knew that Original Infidelity happened after Roxy went away yet MC didn't take Any Precautions&Measures to Ptevent that or to keep an Eye out.I mean MC healed Lilia and even increased her 'Self-Esteem&Self-Confidence' but NTR still happened and How the F**k did the Situation even Occur,I mean just like Canon both Zenith and Rudy were away at the Same time and even MC was away leaving Paul and Lilia alone together even with his Future knowledge,That's kinda Forced and Super BS.
Now,Again you are trying to Force MC to go to Eris in the Future I get It and you even made Paul Scheming enough to allow him to learn MC's Fighting Style from Sylphy and even made a Situation for MC to Exhausted,You gave Paul too many Advantages,It was Too Forced,Author tried to maintain Major Canon Events Accurates,Taht's Negative/Minus(-) Point from Me.
MC really is Simping too Much&Becoming Miserable and in Major Disadvantages Multiple Times&Even being Cockblocked.So,MC really should Express his 'Thoughts&Feelings' More than his Talking,MC should Monologue Much Less than Necessary,Otherwise I don't like Where this Story went till Chapter 48.
So,Please Re-Write those those Chapters If your Head is Clear Now & If your IRL Situation is Also better as Well,Author-san Please Consuder Again and Re-Write them.
@NeonS You Absolutely Right Bro,Author-san should really Read & Re-Consider Some of the Reader's Comments and Re-Write Some Stuff.
MC monologues a lot but is Indecisive and kinda a Simp as he doesn't express his Honest Opinion.
It’s kinda like Author is trying to maintain Major Canon events.
Like,Lilia&Paul Infidelity.
Paul and Rudy Fighting,MC being Disadvantaged&Schemed Against and lastly MC deciding to go to Eris as an Exiled Person.
Sigh!MC really is Simping too Much.
Also,Sylphy has Become Yandere and Paul has become Smart enough to Scheme against MC and MC is Totally Oblivious and Did Nothing against him for Retaliation.
Sigh!😮💨
@crownedclown7 Yuck,Very Bad Explaination.It just makes me hate Paul more,he has always been the Idiotic Controling type where he tries to put his make belief Righteous Values into his own son and even send him on Exile when his son Only wanted a Job and prohibing him from coming home.As a Result Norn didn't like Rudy much and their relationship Started at a Bad Way.Also,Paul blamed Rudy(a Kid) for his Misery after the Metastatis Event as he couldn't Find Any of his Family Members even though he was Adult and blamed Rudy,Yes there were Rudy's Fault for Not even Considering about his Family after being teleported to the Demon Continent but could you blame him he was an Otaku-Loser who didn't know better and he never met his family in Years cause of Exile and whom he never considered much as his parents in the first place as he had his Past-life Memories and MC was Too Busy Protecting Eris,Surviving&Adventuring but Paul got Nothing&Even got Killed himself,I'm Not Saying Original Rudy was Good but Paul was Worthless as Well.I mean I think the Original Author just made Rudy as a Loser whose Only Purpose was Misery&Useless,I mean first MT felt like a Harem Story but then Author decided he didn't want that and Cockblocked MC from Approaching Original Zenith&Lilia or Any Girl for that matter and kept him bound to Roxy,Sylphy&Eris and Dude even got ED and Never Improved himself Untill Multiple Tragedy Struck Him.
So,I Hate Both Paul&Original Rudy from Original MT,so I really don't like your Decision about MC Not Doing Anything Against Paul's Schemes and Retaliate.
MC(Rudy) Minologues about quite Parqctical Things like Going on an Adventure,Doing Something About Paul,Doing Something about Sylphy's Yandereness but MC never Follows Through.So,MC should express his thoughts much More and Shouldn't be an Indecisive Simp Anymore.
Again,I really don't like Paul's Schemes and Advantages against MC and MC being Too Passive Only to Follow Major Canon Events,If this Continues I'll Really be to Disappointed as a Perfectly Good Fic will be Ruined
@crownedclown7 MC really should Expose Paul at least his Schemes should be Exposed to Sylphy and Pls Don't make her a Yandere Anymore.
PLEASE Re-Write.
@crownedclown7 Lilia was a Freak How?
I think Author just wanted to maintain Canon Events so you just kept Major Canon themes.
Like "LiliaxPaul" Infidelity and MC and Zenity were Not Present in the Situation but How could that Coincidence happen when MC already knew After Roxy's Departure Infidelity will Happen,MC should've kept an Eye Out.
Also,MC vs Paul Fight Happened like Original Rydeous&Paul Fought,You gave Paul Too Many Advantages to reduce their Power Gap Instantly&Nerfed MC quite a Lot and even Made that Idiot Paul Scheme against Rudy by Using Sylphy and MC was Too Passive and did Nothing and Decided to go to Eris like Loser being Exiled like Original Rudy.
Etc.So I think Author should already got my Point.
Please Don't Do these and Re-Write those BS Chapters Again.
@crownedclown7 I think MC really should have More Harem Members besides 'Roxy,Sylphy&Eris' I mean why did Original Mushoku Tensei Author Change that?Also,Original Rudeus was Incompetent and lacked Motivation&Eagerness to Improve himself so his life became Measurable.
Also,I don't Laplace Factor Holders could ever learn 'Swordsmanship&Touki/Battle Aura' cause of Laplace Factor and We both know 'Rudy&Sylphy' got Laplace Factor so Originals were Unable to learn Swordsmanship.So,MC(Rudy) here learning Swordsmanship&Touki here could be blamed on It being a Fanfic&MC a New Reincarnated Person who knew About Mushoku Tensei Anime&Novel.So,Mac could learn Swordsmanship&Touki but How could Sylphy learn It as Well?
Also,Pls Expose Paul's Schemes at least to Sylphy&Stop making her a Yandere.
Please Don't Only get the Three Canon Females(Roxy,Sylphy&Eris) for MC's Harem.
There are a lot More Females for MC's Harem and MC could also have Casual Flings with Some Female Characters(like that '3 Breasted Guild Receptionist' in the Demon Continent).
For MC's Harem Members list Please Visit- https://mushokutensei.fandom.com/wiki/Category:Female
For More Mushoku Tensei Reference Materials Pls Visit- https://m.fanfiction.net/s/14093507/1/Seigyou-Tensei-Legitimately-Employed-Reincarnation
https://novelbin.me/novel-book/mushoku-tensei-novel#tab-chapters-title
Lastly,Author-san PLEASE Add all Mushoku Tensei-[Anime,Manga&Novel] Contents(Plot,Characters,Magic/Spells&Items) in this Fic.