50. The Male Lead Is Called A Twig
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"Thanks, Little John," I said, a sigh leaking out at the utter absurdity of this situation

Little John chuckled. "I ain't so little no more, but no prob." And yeah, Little John-- who'd been the scrawniest of the bunch in the good ol' days-- was now big and buff and quite well-known, though he'd now settled down. Kind of.

"Ryan's gotta take lessons from his sister," Sammy piped up from behind him. Ahh, Sammy, the ex-Queen of the Row. She'd been the scariest of the bunch, and more than just a little well-known.

"And thanks, Sammy," I said giving her a warm hug. She chuckled, and if I didn't know any better, I would not have been able to think this blonde, five-foot tall twenty-year-old had been the consolidation of terror she could be.

I took a step back and peered at the two of them. "Little John and Sammy," I said, shaking my head. "Who would've thought?"

Sammy rolled her eyes, cuffing me lightly on the head. (Lightly. It still hurt.) "It was always either me or Rosa. You know that."

"At the beginning, maybe," I joked, smiling back and rubbing my head. "When Little John was still little and needed protecting. He's so tall now. Okay, Ryan," I sighed, turning our attention to the little balled up human trembling on the ground in a deep bow. "I think that's enough."

Little John threw his head back and guffawed. "He ain't anything like Ro!"

"Yeah, Rosa would probably die than bow down like that," Sammy added, laughing. She nudged Ryan with her foot. "Ryan, stop."

We barely managed to get him back on his feet again before he started quaking. Yeah, these two were probably legends to kids Ryan's age. Ha! If only he knew of what Rosa had done.

I held Ryan up by the arm so that he would stop bowing and cheerfully faced the two again. "If you guys are ever up for a drink, you know where to find me." I winked. "And it'll be free."

Sammy shoved me playfully, and Ryan and I almost toppled over. "You sure Cook won't kill you for that? I..." She looked past me, and the faint surprise in Little John's clean-shaven face told me to look behind me too.

"Ack?!" I said, and I stumbled back into Ryan almost instantly. Ryan helplessly crumpled to the side, and I tripped over his feet. "Ryan!" I yelled, feeling the ground coming up to meet me. 

Sammy, in all her five-foot glory, materialized behind Ryan and held him up, and Little John caught me by the head. A strong arm also pulled at my arm against gravity, and I looked up at Lindent's face.

We stayed like that for a dramatic second before rearranging ourselves, our grips on each other loosening and back on our own feet. I threw Little John a look that said wow, you went for the head? Almost lost my neck here, to which he shrugged back, as if he was saying would I care? No! or something equally dry.

"And who're you?" Sammy said to Lindent as she dusted herself off. Ryan was shaking again, so I thumped him on the back of his head. That kind of quieted him down.

I turned to Lindent too, frowning. "What are you doing here?"

He blinked at me.

(What are you, an owl? I almost said, but I kept it in for the sake of world peace.)

"You know him?" Little John asked.

"Yeah. He's Lindent. I don't know what he's doing here though." I raised an eyebrow at him, silently asking him to elaborate.

"Passing by," he said.

Ah yes. Lindent had it easy. Always getting away with, like, three words maximum. "And?" I prodded.

He kind of shrugged.

We all waited.

He didn't say anything else, but his lips curled up faintly, and a mischievous glint formed in his eye.

Great. I rolled my eyes and shoved him to the side, shaking my head. "Okay, I guess that's all we're getting from him." I turned back to Sammy. "So--" I stopped and frowned. "What?"

Sammy had a grin snaking up her face, her entire face forming a devious look. "Oh? Is this what I think it is?"

"What?"

"Is our little Filly finally getting over Philip?"

I choked so hard saliva got caught in my throat, and I doubled over coughing like crazy. Little John began cackling, and Ryan stopped shrinking back enough to look curious. I glared at them all.

"Okay," I coughed, "first things first. It's been years since I've been over Philip!"

"Awww," Sammy cooed, reaching out to pat my head. "Filly's all grown up, huh?"

I swatted her hand away. "And second, Lindent is a friend. Kind of. Actually I don't even know if we are-- ugh! Stop laughing, Little John!"

Little John was now laughing so hard that he was wiping away tears. "Ahhh, bringing up Philip never fails." Then he went off laughing again.

Lindent leaned his head over into my sight, his eyes probably asking me what they were talking about, but I ignored him completely.

"Right, remember when Filly was so in love with Philip that she told all the girls she would be married to him? Then she cried so hard when Philip went out with that other girl, and when they broke up again Filly, and she was this tiny girl in rags back then, told me--"

"Okay guys," I said, gritting my teeth and feeling the redness come up my throat. "This is not something we need in our lives anymore--"

"--to call her Mrs. Philip from now on!!!!"

The two of them burst out laughing all over again as I stood there, face burning in absolute shame. When even Ryan began to smile, I glared at him until he shrank back again.

"Ahhhh, good times, good times," Little John moaned. He slapped his knees. "Mrs. Philip--"

"Stop!"

"--how do you feel about your husband's beard?"

"It's lame! Stop! I'm completely over him!" I covered my face with my two hands. "We're completely over this! I'm going now! Thanks for everything! Let's go, Ryan!"

I whirled around and dragged Ryan out, stomping past the laughing couple.

"We'll come by the restaurant later!" Sammy called. I raised my hand up in acknowledgement and left the two howling by themselves. 

I speed-stomped Ryan back home and dropped him off after threatening him multiple times to keep this entire story a secret or else Rosa would hear of everything. Rosa was the magic word-- the mirth that had been seeping into his eyes was immediately replaced by fear.

"Bye!" I harrumphed, and I turned back and immediately bumped into someone. "Gak!"

"Gak?" I heard Ryan mumble from behind the door.

I looked up. "Lindent?" Right, he'd been there! This entire time!

Redness shot up my face again. "Lindent! That is an absolute secret, you hear me? I mean, I don't think you know a lot of people in Minstia anyways but like, forget everything you heard--"

"Okay."

Well. Okay.

That was easy enough.

I let out a deep breath. "Whew, that's a relief. Thanks."

Lindent's face transformed into an impish grin, and a flash of doubt crawled up my spine. That grin didn't look too good...

"No problem," he said, and I held my breath in horror as he added, "Mrs. Philip."

"Gah!" I threw my hands up towards his face, and he jumped back with ease. "I thought you said..! Oh, I see how it is. I see how it is. Agh! Go away!" I huffed, whirling back around to continue back to the restaurant.  

He kept up with me at my side.

"Go away," I grumbled.

Lindent didn't reply, but he also didn't show any signs of leaving.

I resisted the urge to kick him. (It wasn't easy. Only my belief in Customer Service held me back.) "Lindent you, you... You twig."

He raised his eyebrows at me as if to ask, twig? 

"Yes, twig. And just to let you know, we're most definitely going to be out of cocktails and nonalcoholic drinks for the rest of the week, so don't you dare follow me all the way back to the restaurant."

Lindent immediately shrugged with all the innocence in the world, and I snorted. "And don't try to tell me you weren't going to follow me to the restaurant."

He shook his head in silent protest, rummaging his pockets for a little while as we sped through the streets. Man, what was up with his physical abilities? Wasn't he even a little winded from the speed? He looked perfectly fine!

As I tried to keep my breath steady without slowing down-- that would just feel like I was losing to this government official, when I'd already kind of lost to him-- he brought out a folded piece of paper and opened it. After glancing over it for a brief moment, he handed it to me, pointing to a specific line.

I glanced at it too. "Just to let you know," I puffed, "I can't read."

Lindent's eyebrows shot up into his bangs immediately. I chuckled lowly at that. "That big of a surprise?" I asked, a bit breathlessly.

He hesitantly shook his head.

"Never really needed to." I frowned. Hm, why would he be so surprised, though? "You're lucky, you got to learn and become a government official. By the way, what do you do? Take surveys of the population or something?" What had Rosa called them? Samples?

He shook his head again, a bit more resolutely this time.

"Yeah, knowing you, you probably won't want to talk enough to tell me about it." I laughed, though it was getting harder and harder to sound normal at this speed.

Ah, whatever. I slowed down, and Lindent did too. We were almost to the restaurant anyways. Besides, he probably didn't even notice I was trying my best to keep my original speed.

But when I looked up at him, he already had a small grin growing on his face. And when he opened his mouth, his lips quirked up even more as he said two mocking words: "Giving up?"

Screw customer service. I shifted weight and sent a flying kick to the back of his knee. 


A/N: Yohoho, I'm so on top of things! For once!! :D is the earth rotating backwards today or what?! Ahahaahhah B)

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