"And this is the center ballroom, m'lady," bowed the butler-looking guy. He probably had a title and all, but I honestly didn't know what it was. He didn't have the signature monocle-glass thing on his face that Mother Lily's high society romance novels always seemed to include for butlers, but he was wearing a suit and he was bowing, and that was butler-y enough for me.

I probably could've asked either of my companions about his true identity, but Rosa was muttering under her breath about the perfect ratio of architecture or whatever, and Lady Mildred had remained silent for the entire time we were here. I figured it wasn't that good of a time to be asking much of anything.

The ballroom we had entered had a high dome full of intricate paintings and a separate stage, perhaps for the orchestra? I tried my best not to look the commoner I was and gape at the enormous size of this room alone. The butler guy's voice and our steps were echoing in this huge space. 

The butler-looking guy continued explaining. "The center ballroom has been the prime space for soirees and balls alike, such as when King Edward V and his betrothed first held their joint ball..."

My ears perked up at the mention of King Edward V. I'd heard of him! Mother Lily had read us a romance novel based on him and his beloved. They had been set apart due to the war, and according to the novel, at their first ball together, the betrothed Princess Layla had been poisoned and a fire had erupted in the middle. It had led to an exciting rescue by King Edward V, of course, ending in a rather lackluster but cheesy confession of love amidst the roaring fires behind them. Romantic, though also pretty dangerous.

"...which has been recorded as the prime example to be followed for all balls."

I raised my eyebrows at that. Were swooning poisoned princesses, fires, and dashing rescues the norm for high society?

"If, m'lady, you would prefer to have a calm and proper ball, I would thoroughly recommend this ballroom and the legacy it signifies."

My eyebrows rose even higher. That was a calm and proper ball?!

After Lady Mildred went around a little more, she slightly inclined her head, and her maid Mary told the man, "The Lady would like to also view the upper balcony, Sir Chamberlain."

Ah! So he was Sir Chamberlain, not a butler. Whew, good thing I hadn't said anything so far. Even though I kind of didn't know the difference between the two; no Sir Chamberlains had been the dashing heroes in Mother Lily's favorite novels.

Sir Chamberlain nodded, and we all paraded out to the breathtaking halls of the Palace. Rosa and I trailed along a little bit behind, taking in the view as much as possible, while Lady Mildred and her maids didn't seem all that interested.

"This place is huge," I told Rosa in a low voice.

She nodded, for once speechless. Or so I thought, until she opened her mouth and said, "I would love to be able to measure this place down from tile to tile," and she was back to being the Rosa I knew and loved. That was the way she thought things were great, though, so I patted her on the shoulder and kept looking.

This went on for quite a while, Sir Chamberlain showing us some kind of place, Rosa and I ooh-ing and aah-ing in our own separate ways, and Lady Mildred seeming in perfect control of everything.

The tour was finally over in an hour and a half, and we were now outside, inside a gazebo sipping tea.

Once Sir Chamberlain disappeared into who-knows-where, I slumped down on my chair and massaged my neck and shoulders. "That... was a long tour."

"I doubt we've seen even a quarter of the Palace, though," Rosa said, looking eager. She leaned forward. "That's how huge this place is. And can I just say that it looks like it was built approximately using the Golden Ratio?"

"The what?"

"The Golden Ratio!" She grinned. "It's this law of proportions that I was absolutely in love with. It's approximately 1 to 1.61, if I'm recalling correctly, and-- here, does anyone have a piece of paper?"

Rosa looked around, but since none of us had a habit of carrying around anything but ourselves, she could only be disappointed. Even Lady Mildred's maid shrugged from where she stood, a few steps away from Lady Mildred's chair.

She made a disgruntled sound. "Give me a moment."

She then proceeded to leap out of the gazebo, land in a running position, and immediately begin sprinting towards a group of people in the distance. Probably gardeners, since we were in the middle of the vast garden, so big and so complicated that it was practically a maze.

I watched her go in silence, not at all surprised by her antics, then turned to the Lady with a smile. "Please ignore her when she's acting weird. She gets like that sometimes, but she really is a good girl." Most of the time.

Lady Mildred sipped her tea, and I took that as an affirmation of what I'd just said.

"How did you like the Palace?" I asked, tilting my head.

Her eyes shifted to survey the gardens and the building, then returned to me.

My polite smile widened into a grin. She didn't seem to find it too bad. "You've probably been here a couple of times, haven't you? It seems like such a wonderful place to be, and I doubt I'd ever be able to come back here. Thank you for letting me come."

I watched for her response. She looked beyond me-- embarrassment, maybe? I wasn't so sure about this one-- and something like... alarm? Crept into her eyes.

I frowned. Now what did that mean?

I was so busy trying to interpret her reaction that I failed to notice that Rosa was practically flying towards me until she crashed into me and knocked both of us into the ground.

"Gwah!" I gasped. "Rosa?!"

"It's him!" Rosa hissed in response, then dove through the white tablecloth. A loud clang greeted her. "Ow!"

She must have hit her head on the metal legs of the table. "Ha! Suits you right!" I said, sticking out my tongue at her. Then groaned, because now my hip bones hurt and so did my elbows.

"Shhh!" she yelped. She scurried completely under the table, saying, "Glitcherman alert! Glitcherman alert!"

I limped back to my chair and squinted out into the distance. Ah, so the group of people she'd been running towards hadn't, in fact, been gardeners or castle maids, but a group of training knights and pages, and among them had been (who else?) Glitcherman.

She'd probably sprinted right back the moment her super-good eyesight discerned him, and, too fast to be able to stop her speed, ran straight into me.

"Wow, Rosa, way to almost kill me," I droned. "Really appreciate you slamming into me like that."

"I said, shhh!"

I made a face at her, then thumped down on my chair with a sigh. When I looked up, both Lady Mildred and her maid seemed quite frozen, so I smiled at them brightly. "Sorry about that," I said smoothly, thoughts whirring quickly through my head. "Rosa has a mortal enemy, you see, that must never see her,  so she has to be as cautious as possible." Customer Service Rule #44: If you must lie, lie so smoothly you're like butter on hot toast. No hesitations whatsoever. "Please excuse her rather noisy path into safety. It can't really be helped, given the situation." I shrugged, looking as nonchalant as possible.

They still seemed frozen. For a second, I wracked my brain for what the always-prepared ladies from Mother Lily's high society romance novels would say in such a situation, but fell short-- first off, nothing like this had ever happened, and second, those ladies tended to be rather clumsier than they were at ease.

Calling up the chaperone role of the book instead would be a better idea. I summoned a calm smile on my face and straightened my back to seem as, hm, respectable as possible. Yes, that was a very chaperone-like. I tilted my head. "Why don't we go enjoy the beautiful flowers in this garden? And Miss Mary--"

Mary barely started, but she raised an eyebrow just the same in response. Was I not supposed to call her Miss? But I wasn't a noble, so that would be rude. Probably.

"--may I ask on behalf of Rosa to bring us a little more..." I paused. What were these things called? Cookies? Snacks? "Biscuits," I decided. That sounded more High Society, right? "A little more biscuits, if you can. We've unfortunately upset the rest."

And it had. In Rosa's haste to hide under the tablecloth, she'd jostled the table so much that the pile of cookies had been practically overturned. The tea had spilled a little over the cups, too.

Mary hesitated until Lady Mildred said, "Please do," and even then she grudgingly left, as if she was reluctant to leave her lady in our hands. I didn't blame her.

Once she was gone, I turned to Lady Mildred and brightly said, "Shall we go?"

"Rosa," she remarked, her eyes drawn to the tablecloth (and probably the person underneath it).

"Oh, she's coming too," I said offhandedly.

A loud clang and another muffled "Ow!" came from beneath the table. Then, "I am?"

"Yes, Rosa, you are. Now then, let's escape before your mortal enemy somehow finds his way in, shall we?"

Rosa didn't respond for a moment, but after a bit I could hear the rustle of her dress as she ducked back out. Resembling very much a pink cat (for she was wearing something pink, though it probably hadn't been her choice to wear it but some poor maid in charge of dressing her), she crawled into the open on her hands and knees, then stayed there, crouched, now resembling more a pink frog than a cat.

"Quick," Rosa hissed, "to the gardens!" And then she somersaulted (??!) out of the gazebo by the side and probably landed on her back, if her loud grunt was anything to go by.

Still, I rushed to the side and, as I'd thought, she lay in some bushes like some pink overturned dog with a wide, triumphant grin on her face.

My shoulders slumped in exasperated relief. "That was so dangerous! Don't do that again!" I said, frowning, then raised my eyes to Lady Mildred. She had that distant air of being so absolutely confused that she didn't know how to feel.

I forced myself to smile. "I am so sorry about that girl."

Because someone had to apologize for what was probably going against all known laws of courtesy and manners and whatever High Society Folks cared about, and Rosa sure didn't seem like she was going to feel repentant any time soon.

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A/N: On a side note, I very randomly found myself on trending just the other day... when it had been three days since I updated this story.

???

...I still don't get it, but yay! :D I guess a cloud just randomly decided to smile upon this particular story that day. Haha.