It was a straight-up slaughterfest. The indignation that I felt every time those smug faces of Arthur and Bree flashed before my eyes had been fueling an engine of determinative rage. A rage that had caused me to completely eviscerate our opponents in the first semifinal game. Through relentless but calculated aggression on my trademark hero, Mars, I had taken complete control of the game. Their ranged carry was always either stunned, blocked off, or straight-up dead. Their chances of victory, rebuked. Luckily for them, the semi finals were a BO3, so they were not out yet.

We walked into the small break room specially marked for the teams playing on stage when Lizzy turned to me. “Damn, girl, you were popping off that game! That was some Ammar-level shit you did there.”

I couldn’t even smile; my steel wall of determination blocked any other emotion. I simply nodded to show my acknowledgement of her statement.

“For sure,” Jade said. “You just completely ran over them from minute one. No way they are going to let Mars go through in the second game.”

Rachel closed the door and spoke to the group. “That game was great, but it’s behind us now. Time to focus on the next one. We have ten minutes before we need to be back on. So, if you need a snack, some air, or—”

“—God forbid a bathroom break,” Lizzy interrupted playfully, attempting to impersonate her captain.

A subdued laugh was visible on Rachel’s face. “Yes, I had that coming.”

Kelsey raised her finger. “I saw bananas in the lounge.”

“Oooh,” Jade and Lizzy mouthed silently before they walked off with Kelsey to find a fruity snack.

I was sitting on a flimsy foldout chair, my eyes to the ground. Apart from the concrete floor, all I could see were my twitching feet. My thoughts were erratic, nonsensical, and destructive. That’s why I didn’t want to face them; I just wanted to smash anybody who got in my way.

“Are you okay?” Rachel said.

I looked up, my lips firmly pressed together. “Yes, I’m just trying to keep my head in the game,” I responded, nodding aggressively on every syllable.

“Just,” Rachel paused; there was a sense of caution in her voice. “Keep a cool head, okay? You played great that game, but you look a little on edge. I just don’t want you to get all stressed out; we’re in this together, remember?”

I sighed. “Of course.”

The rest of the team came back to the break room, carrying two bundles of bananas. Rachel insisted that I eat one. Wanting to keep her off my back, I obliged.

We had a quick talk about our strategy for the upcoming game, and before I knew it, we were back on stage. It’s weird how quickly you get desensitized to it. The stage was no longer intimidating; the nerves of playing in view of all these people had all but disappeared. You knew you had a job to do; no matter who's watching, winning was all that counted.

“There is the Mars ban,” Rachel said as I could see the portrait of my favorite hero getting grayed out.

“Give me Lycan,” I said, deadpan.

“Are you sure? We have barely practiced that hero; shouldn’t we just go Dark Seer like we just discussed?”

“Just do it.” I didn’t want to discuss it; I just felt, I knew, that I could destroy them with a good Lycan game. The draft timer was ticking down; nobody spoke, but I could feel Rachel’s hesitation. Eventually, she made the right decision, and Lycan was locked in.

Players weren’t required to wear the noise-canceling headsets during the draft. This allowed me to hear the surprised voices from the commentators. “Lycan? That’s a risky decision coming out there from Team Undercover. Noblin will need to get a lot of work done on that hero to make up for their lack of control. Now let’s see what their opponents are going to bring out in response— Okay, there it is, the Winter Wyvern, a classic Lycan counter. Noblin has to make sure she isn’t caught in the Winter’s Curse with her teammates, or she might shred apart her own team.”

I couldn’t help but shake my head before I put my headset on; these commentators had no idea what they were talking about.

***

I counted the red Xs on the minimap; four of them were visible, all moving down to our base in the bottom lane. My wolves had put a lot of pressure on the lanes, and the opportunity now clearly presented itself to me. They might have a gold advantage, but I’m playing Lycan; I can destroy their structures in seconds. I clicked their tower on the top lane and started going to work.

“Emmy, we need to defend this push, get back, please,” I could hear Rachel say.

The sound of a crumbling tower played through my headset; the high ground was now open, I needed to continue.

“Emmy!” Rachel raised her voice. “We can’t let them set up in front of our base; you need to come back.”

“I’m faster.”

“No! You’re not—ugh—Whatever—Jade, be ready to cancel teleports if they try to go back. Kelsey, use your buyback money for boots of travel and join Emmy. We’re base racing,” Rachel said as she changed strategy on the fly.

The enemy barracks were going down, and they hadn’t even touched ours yet. I knew it; this was working. A blue circle appeared next to my hero; Kelsey was coming. Her hero apparated, and the Moon Glaives started bouncing through their base. Yes, this was it; we were so close to the finals now.

“Oh no,” Kelsey said.

Surprised, I scanned my surroundings—when I saw it, I was too late. Their Winter Wyvern flew in over the tree line; the sound of a cold breeze indicated the Winter's Curse being activated. My hero was ripping Kelsey to shreds, and I couldn’t do anything.

From that point on, it went fast; with Kelsey down and a Winter Wyvern preventing me from teleporting, the door was wide open. I could see on the minimap how the enemy team streamed into our base. Rachel, Jade, and Lizzy tried holding on for dear life, but it was no use. Our opponents were too strong and too fast. They destroyed our ancient before I could break down their last tower, and our first loss of the tournament was a fact.

The tension was palpable, the silence deafening. No words were spoken as we made our way to the break room. That final moment, why hadn’t I spotted that Wyvern in time? I could have positioned differently, not gotten caught out next to Kelsey. We would have won; why did they even have a Wyvern? We should have banned it.

A loud thud brought me back to the present. We were back in the break room, but the vibe was very different this time.

“Well, that wasn’t great,” Rachel said, verbally expressing what the rest of the team couldn’t. “Lucky for us, it won’t matter one bit if we just win the next one.”

I could see some cautious nods from my teammates.

“We just need to go back to what we do best. No cheese, no tricks; we’re just playing comfort next game.”

I wasn’t paying attention; I was still playing out the events of the last game in my head, thinking of ways it could have gone differently. There were so many moments where I could have been more efficient, gotten that extra kill, that extra creep camp. It would have given me that edge I needed to end the game in my favor. I needed to show them that I’m no pushover, that I won’t allow myself to be manipulated by those two slimy assholes. I could do it; I just knew that—

“—Hey? Emmy? What’s going on?”

Everybody was looking at me, worried expressions on their faces. A circle of empathetic teammates, all sitting on the same kind of foldout chairs, except Rachel. Rachel still stood tall, in the middle of the circle; her gaze fixed down to my level.

She repeated. “Hey, I need you to pull it together. Just— Tell us what’s going on. You know we’re here for you.”

I looked up towards her tall body. Taking a few seconds to breathe before I answered, “It’s just, there's somebody on Claw Esports, somebody I really need to beat, so I need to get to the finals.”

Rachel smiled. “That sounds familiar.”

I could see how Lizzy raised her finger and was about to speak up. Before any sound escaped her lips, however, Kelsey’s elbow landed in her side, causing her to stay silent.

“It isn’t true, though,” Rachel continued. “You don’t need to beat them.”

I furrowed my brow in confusion, unlike the rest of the team. They all showed confident smiles as they looked up to their captain.

“We need to beat them. We need to get to the finals, and we need to win that trophy. Now, huddle up, team.”

Everybody stood up and put their hands together. Rachel was right; I was making the same mistake she had made. This wasn’t about me; this wasn’t about Arthur or Bree; this was about us. About coming together as a team and showing that together, we can overcome any challenge.

Feeling the need to be part of the group again, I joined in. Looking into the eyes of my teammates, seeing their resolve, made Rachel’s words entrench themselves deep into my psyche. She was right; I wasn’t alone; we are all in this together. Forever together.

“On three, one, two, three—”

“TEAM UNDERCOVER!” We yelled out in unison.

Gwenington

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