"I'm being attacked by something
that I can't escape from."
-Sherri Paricio Bornhoft
WARNING! PANIC ATTACK AHEAD!
Present Day- 3 minutes before Present Time:
"...In honor of those who have fallen before them?"
'Ah, I got worked up... I gotta find a way to twist the meaning of the words-'
The teen was now standing straight up, in contrast to his slightly hunched over posture from before.
"I... admit defeat. I won't freeze over the arena. I apologize for doubting your resolve. But... I'm not giving up this fight that easily."
Without further ado, giant ice spikes of enormous proportions exploded from underneath the surface of the arena. They rose with astounding speed, and they just kept coming. Deku had to fight against every instinct he had to just explode every single one and dodge instead. He had already ended up with a few unavoidable cuts and scraps from the razor-sharp glaciers.
'Damnit! I stayed in one place for too long. Impeded Time doesn't mean anything if I don't move... He took advantage of my concern! I'm sure that I would be stuck in a glacier if he had it his way! My control's about to snap too... I took too much time persuading this idiot!'
"You little... I know that I use underhanded moves, but it kinda ticks me off when it's used against me. What are you gonna do next, throw fire at me? You already want to make me a popsicle, so I guess cooking me isn't that far fetched!"
'Well, it's true that I'm a little irritated right now, but it doesn't matter. I need to focus on the matter at hand, more specifically all of the ice spikes around me. I can't avoid them all forever considering my stamina's about to hit rock bottom. But he must be getting tired too...'
It was then that a giant plum of fire soared across the horizon, suppressing each and everything in its' path. It had such an astonishing temperature that it felt like his body was about to melt even before it had hit. His body reacted instinctively, pushing past perceived limits and beyond. The offshoot of electricity was purged in favor of storing as much kinetic energy as possible to get away from the threat.
His body crouched down into a runner's sprint start and flew as electric discharged erratically through the pores of his skin. Well, perhaps it would be better to say that the pores were eradicated; all that was left of the surface of his feet was charred flesh. Alongside winding Lichtenberg scars, that waved and weaved without a pattern before ending at the tip of a toe.
But, he wasn't all that concerned about it. In fact, it was the last thing on his mind. He was more preoccupied with staring in shock at Todoroki. It was the last thing he expected him to do; it looked like it was the last thing that Todoroki expected as well.
The teen looked horrible and had gone a few shades whiter. His pupils were wide and enlarged but unseeing. His limbs were trembling visibly, even from a distance. Judging from the rapid palpations of his chest, he was hyperventilating as well.
'...He's having a panic attack.'
He walked over to him slowly, carefully all while ignoring the aching pains of his feet. The referee (Pro Hero Midnight) seemed to have gotten over her momentary shock and tried to run over to Todoroki as quickly as possible. In a hissing voice that was surprisingly full of authority, he talked to her:
"Don't! He's having a panic attack, so you can't be sure what stimulus he'll react to. He might perceive you as a threat," He looked over at Todoroki once more, and he seemed to be getting worse. "Are you trained to deal with panic attacks, Midnight-sensei?"
The teacher looked started by the question, before clenching her teeth.
"...I've been given some general information about the subject, but nothing in-depth. I may accidentally aggravate him."
The teacher seemed to be frustrated by the admission, but Deku had no time to care about her.
"I'll do it then. I have experience with this kind of thing. I assume I have your permission for emergency first aid?"
The teacher narrowed her eyes, seemingly influenced by his no-nonsense attitude, and regained her calm.
"It looks like he's getting worse by the second, and it's not a good idea to move him. So you are the best choice that we have on hand... But you were fighting him just now, so will that have any effect on the treatment?"
His eyes narrowed as he gave it some thought. He had no guarantee, but...
"The trigger, in this case, is most likely his fire. At the time his attack first started, I was mainly dodging and being defensive. Furthermore, I have offensively attacked him already, but he showed no such reaction. The chances that I triggered it are very low. I can't promise that I won't make it worse, but as it is, his heart rate is already higher than it should be. It could get dangerous. It's your call, in the end."
Todoroki collapsed to his knees, and the shaking increased.
"...Do it. I'll take full responsibility."
He looked at her and nodded.
"...If you can, get the audience to shut up. Maybe even make them leave if necessary."
He resumed his walk over to Todoroki's position, making sure to keep his posture open and non-threatening.
"Hey, Todoroki-"
The trembling increased.
"Do you not like that name?" It decreased ever so slightly, but it was caught by Deku's eye nonetheless. "Shoto, then. You're having a panic attack right now. I know that it's overwhelming. It feels like it will never end. But, you know what? It's not. It will end. How about this, take a deep breath in and a deep breath out..."
He hadn't followed along with the breathing exercise, but it seemed like Todoroki's consciousness was starting to resurface, so he continued on with what he was saying.
"I need you to do something for me, okay? It will help you, I promise. You just need to look at five things. You don't have to respond."
His widened and enlarged pupils seemed to be taking in stimuli, so Deku continued with his strategy.
"Did you see five things? How about four things you can touch?" His fingers slightly lurched and touched the ground. "You're feeling the ground right now. Feel its texture, the hardness of it. Have you felt it? ...Now, I want you to listen to three things that you can hear."
His hyperventilating had started to die down.
"Maybe the airplane overhead. Maybe the movement of the muscles in your body... How about something you can smell now?"
He took in huge pockets of air threw his noise, and it almost seemed like he was getting worse for a second.
But his trembling had stopped.
"And finally, I want you to think of one thing you can taste."
All of the visualization techniques seemed to have stopped his fit. Honestly, Deku thought he would have had to do it at least 3 times, but it seemed like Todoroki's mental strength was stronger than it appeared. He was a strong person. But even strong people have times when they break. Stress had just piled up until it took him over the edge. He seemed like the type to keep it all locked inside, which really didn't help his chances.
Regardless, he still had to be careful. He could still regress back into an attack.
"...Do you feel better now? Any irregularities?"
He took a final breath in and out before responding.
"I-... I think I'm good now. T-Thanks, you didn't have to do that after I-"
He lightly put his hand out to stop him.
"You're fine. I'm alive, you're alive, it's that simple. Now, I don't really want to help you through another panic attack, so do me a favor and just accept that it happened. You are human. Humans make mistakes. I can think of plenty of things that are worse than accidentally flinging a ball of fire at me. That said, I personally don't see why you're so hung up on being able to produce fire."
He looked over to see him in a state of indecision.
"You aren't obligated to tell me anything about what happened to you. But..."
He looked at him one last time as he was carried away by the medical professional that started swarming the area.
"Your quirk is your own. It ceased to be anyone else's the moment you were made with the combination of your parent's DNA."
He stared into his eyes, trying to see if what he was saying was effective.
"So don't be afraid of it. Embrace it."
It seemed to.
AN: Phew, that took a while. We technically hit the climax of the fight (so I didn't lie), but more will be explained next chapter about why he fired out the fireball of doom. There are a few more puzzle pieces I have to fit together so why they'll be fighting even after the panic attack makes sense but don't worry, it will align with the original timeline.
Eventually.
By the way, everything about panic attacks was gathered from the internet, like all (hopefully) realistic things in this book are. So yeah... If ya liked Todoroki & Allen's interaction, please hit those hearts and comment!
I think you meant to say :
"I... admit defeat. I won't freeze over the arena. I apologize for doubting your resolve. But... I'm 》NOT《 giving up this fight that easily."
Hahahaaa...
Thanks for pointing it out.
Deku really getting into his hero roleplay, what with making heroes stronger, helping with their mental issues and...wait a second, isn't he doing a better job than midoriya did as an actual hero in the anime?
xD
Mayhaps. All I can say is that differing circumstances lead to differing results, even if the person is the same. As I look back at what I wrote way back then, I only realize now that I wasn't really going along with the target audience's desires, but eh.
Complex characters do complex things, and logic is far from a ruling denominator of human behavior.
@C.Sunlight It's still interesting, and I get that even with Deku having his emotions f*cked away into the moon, he doesn't operate purely on logic...but! Since his driving force in the tournament is making sure he doesn't displease AFO, he should've realised that helping the heroes isn't a smart move >->
@Blanklines He does, but it's a form of logic all on its own if you think about it from a different perspective. While All for One did warn him of consequences, this is a pretty low priority mission, if you think about it. It's nowhere near as important as USI was, and it was, quite obviously, given to him on whim.
That means he can figure out exactly All for One's boundaries and mercies are, which a rather big facet he takes advantage of later. He doesn't exactly want to be tortured, but it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, at least for him. So it's worth the risk to check.
As mentioned in another chapter, it was absolutely essential to practice on someone to disguise his quirk effectively, and Uraraka was a deal that had to happen. Todoroki was a moment of pity without thinking very much.
Also, his emotions may be shot to hell, but it's just basically trauma and forming his own conclusions about his... lack of them. He's always been shown to have a rather adaptable/strong mental state throughout canon, and that's pulling through and making emotions gradually break loose. The environment of UA and lack of exposure to AFO is helping significantly in that manner. So that's about all the reasons.
Well executed. Twas wondering how it would go down when compared to the original anime/manga itself.
Mhm. Thanka.
I still my quality of stuff was a little sketchy back in the day, but *shrug*
If you can find it in your forgiving soul to like it, why should I take that away from you? Pfft
Cool, I took a while to read since I was busy but wow, his interaction and way of acting with Shoto was simply amazing!
Where apple
Wait i think im slow, i read this twice and am still confused on the panic attack, and dont get me wrong i respect the different route taken from the manga and anime but what set it off? His fire? The pressure to win or did the cold mess up his body? And i like the quote for thus chap it fits well, and i know about his past and everything but even then he was ok after the first use.
There are reasons. I don't want to spoil what will be mentioned next chapter, but I can tell you some stuff. Basically, Todoroki thought that he vaporized Allen. It was a really, really big fire ball and to get away from it, Deku had to literally short circuit/burn his body.
That is a lot of power solely focused on getting away. As a result, he looks to see that he actually used fire, and thinks he killed his classmate. He also had Endeavor watching and he was putting a lot of pressure on himself.
So... He just kinda snapped.
You seem to be confused by the lack of obvious trigger, and while there is an actual reason in this book, it doesn't nessecarily happen like that in real life.
Stress can be scary, and just because you can handle it once, doesn't mean that you'll magically be able to handle it the second time. Well, Todoroki handled it in the original, but you get what I mean.
(Or at least, that is what all of my research led me to believe )
@CorruptSunlight oh thanks that really helped, and yea i get you im not really keen on stress and its effects so thx for explaining.
@Vivdreamviv I happy that it made some sense. I was operating on one braincell at the time. Hahaha