Another hit, another cold night. Here in the midwest, the falls get really nippy as the nights grow long. Me and Meathead have gone on a few of these missions now together, breaking into odds and ends and pulling out even odders and endings. I’m not even sure what all this junk is for. Basilisk won’t tell me anything about it; he just pats my head and tells me what the next hit is.

And hey, at least I’ve got proper attire this time! That ‘surprise’ Meathead was talking about was my own suit, and it’s finally finalized now! Gone is the hoodie and plain skirt, and in their place an insulated bodysuit with padding hiding thin sheets of metal for extra protection. Meathead said it was a similar idea to a gambeson, whatever that is. It’s cozy, it’s practical, and it’s badass; although I do miss how cute my last outfit was. I tried putting the skirt back into the outfit, but Basilisk looked at me like I had just brought home my second or third D+ report card and that was the end of that. 

As we get closer to the mark I straighten out everything, pulling up my mask. My mask! I had a no-shit for-real superhero mask! Well, one of those bandana-ish cloth ninja-y masks. But still! I’ve got a real deal look now, big leagues. Okay, okay, calm yourself. Serious face, ask your question. I turn to my partner, his head deep into some kind of bulky low-tech high-tech tablet. “Are we ready to move? Is Basilisk in position?” 

Meathead doesn’t turn his head to me, still looking at his device. He’s decked back out in his leather jacket, for shame. At least it’s open. “Are you seeing any patrols?”

I look out over the target. The streets are empty, though the lights are still on in the various training areas casting yellow light on the plywood and quickcrete they’re made of. You can tell which ones are for cops and which are for capes by the presence of more sophisticated gadgetry. “No?” 

“Well then, he’s already started.”

“Ah, then we should get moving too…” 

I walk up to the chain link fence (seriously, chain link?) and focus on changing it as I rake my claws over the steel wire of the fence. The metal bends and droops, falling in long almost droplets to the ground. It’s almost instinctual at this point, with just a few weeks of practice. “I’m in,” I say in my best hacker voice.

Meathead has to duck to make it through the hole I made, but manages it, tucking his device away on his hip. “Now, the main compound is what we’re after. There’s a handful of things Basilisk wants, you remember?”

We dip behind a building and I lean against it, pausing to think about what I’m actually doing here. This is fuckin’ cape city, man. A playground that CCHIP heroes actively train in to learn how to beat scum like me off permanently. This entire city is home turf to them, but this is basically walking into their crib. 

Now he’s just staring down at me, probably wondering why we aren’t moving yet. “Are you certain that Basilisk made his move already? This place is terrifying, even if it’s abandoned.” I gesture towards a drone hoving past our hiding spot, making its rounds on the property.

The plan was simple. This place didn’t actually have anything that important hidden away, so in theory it should be empty. But now that CCHIP is onto his game, we’ve become too easy to predict, and there’s been a hero either waiting for us inside or quick to meet us on the way out. Almost always Shiftra and her pet sidekick. As much as they play like they can’t stand each other, they sure seem to show up in tandem.

So this time, we were going to hit somewhere that makes us look like the bait, while Basilisk himself plays the part. The emergence of the number one most wanted criminal of the department after becoming a total recluse is an opportunity they couldn’t pass up no matter what. There’s no chance they come bother us this time.

Meathead clasps one of his gauntleted hands on my shoulder. “Awe, c’mon girlie. You’re tougher than you think, and you’re getting better all the time. You’d do alright even if this place were teeming with capes. Don’t let a little training ground spook you now.” I blush a little at his complement, his sweet voice soothing my nerves enough to keep moving. I nod, throw my hood back over my head, and get running. 

Christ, how did it take that convo with Kitty to make me notice this? I felt like a complete idiot after our talk that night, because as soon as it was pointed out to me I couldn’t help but see it everywhere. How could I have been that in denial about something this, well, overwhelming? Because the more I think it over, the more everything jumps out at me. I’m kind of a slut, actually!

Or, maybe it could be my new line of work? Boy crazy isn’t exactly the most taboo thing about me anymore. I sprint across the backs of the blown out buildings, into the one brand new, heavily armored one in the center of the compound; the command station. 

“Why are all these buildings so demolished already?” I swipe my claws into the side of the wall to bring up a knob, and tug as the rest of the new door is built into the wall for me. “You would think that they’d build it like the rest of the city, or just buy up some abandoned blocks of already existing buildings for this.” 

He shakes his head, sneaking in behind me. “You’re thinking too practically. They’re not really preparing for their jobs; they’re preparing for a warzone. You know what kind of jeeps and things they barrel through these streets? I wouldn’t be shocked if they drove a tank in once. This isn’t just to teach capes how to get kittens out of trees, it’s to train up a domestic army.”

I sneak my way through the corridors, pulling him behind me, following the path we memorized before coming here. “When exactly do they think they’ll need that? It’s not like anyone has threatened to invade us before.” 

He sighs. “The hope is never. But you know CCHIP, never found a budget they couldn’t blow. Scare the right people about this or that and you get a shiny new budget increase every quarter.” He stops cold, pulling open a door and peering inside. “Here’s my stop, the data center. I head in and make sure everything we’re doing stays mum, and you head down and pull off the physical hit. Good luck down there girlie.” He nods at me, we switch on coms, and then we’re off in two different directions. 

I weave my way down a level, blushing the entire time. I always do when he calls me that. Basilisk’s ‘no names’ rule is held strong, but CCHIP hasn’t had a chance to really pin me down yet; thus, no codename. I keep pitching different ideas, but the two of them refuse to stick to one only to have to relearn whatever I get stuck with later. So Basilisk has stuck to kid, and Meathead has landed on girlie. It’s a special little name just from him, and it makes me giddy and light whenever I hear it. 

It almost makes me wish that David had some kind of special name for me. Like, not that I’m complaining! But all I ever get from him is ‘man’ and ‘dude’, the same things he calls everyone else. I can’t help but imagine him calling me ‘girlie’ the way Meathead does, grabbing me, pulling my mask slowly down my face…

Oh my god, stop it! See, this is what I was talking about; total slut. You’re on a mission! I shake my head softly, trying to force the two men in my head out of it so I can focus on the snatch and grab before they can get any more entangled. Trust me, you do not want that happening.

At the end of the hall and down a floor is a large medical amphitheater, and just through that is the room with my hit. I press my coms softly as I work my way down to the empty center stage. “Why exactly do they have this room? You think they build some Frankensteins right here for their investors or something?” 

“Please,” he says, “don’t say that. It’s like calling a vampire a Dracula.”

I huff softly as I push my way through the double doors at the back of the stage, finding another hallway dotted with smaller medical rooms. “And what’s so bad about that? It’s cute! I didn’t know you were such a stickler for the particulars.”

His boisterous laugh fills my ears as I enter my final destination. “You would know all about what’s cute, wouldn’t you girlie?” That’s not fair! Thank God for this new mask, so no one could see how red my face got. “They probably use it to teach newbie CCHIP docs on how to treat their heroes. These showboats’ll always be down for being paraded like pieces of meat, after all… Okay, the room’s been isolated from the system, you can yank ‘er outta there no problem.”

I instinctually nod, before realizing he can’t see that. “Confirmed.” I look around quickly; the room is full of more experimental and advanced medical equipment. Some of it I can roughly guess what it does, like a super dialysis machine. Others are more inscrutable. One looks like a nightmare iron lung, another like a waffle machine sized for a man. I wonder if there’s some kind of panini hero that needs to be kept crisp?

Off to the corner is the machine I need. It’s like a box chair with lots of little needles and syringes attached to arms over the seat, with tubes leading off to all kinds of thick glass containers. Basilisk explained to me that it was basically a blood infusion machine for all but the most impenetrable supes.

I clap my hands together, rubbing them together in a little bit of a warm up, pressing the palms of my fingerless gloves together and letting my nails tink against one another. I grab one end of the machine toward the top, and another corner at the bottom, and send a pulse into the machine. After I’m sure it’s good and wobbly, I start pressing in on the machine from either side. I don’t want to crush it; it’s more like using the scale tool in an image manipulator. The machine gives out, and soon it’s shrunken down to the size of a little table car. I scoop up a bunch of random other junk around me and fashion it into a nice little hip pouch, and shove the now miniature health device into my new pocket. 

“Alright, I got it! You almost done in there, big guy?”

He hesitates a moment as I start making my way back through the compound. “No, I’m not quite done. I dunno, this should be a piece of cake, but for whatever reason it’s just fighting me at every turn.” 

I bite my cheek. Wasn’t he just covering my tracks? How much more could there be to do there? “Okay, Meathead. I’m coming down to where you are. We can hit the extraction point together.”

I run past the medical amphitheater and into a shadowed hallway, heading back toward the room I left him at. God, we gotta get Basilisk out more often, this was so much easier than the last few outings. Got everything without things going sideways! 

I smile to myself, daydreaming about the last few difficult hits. And then, of course, immediately slam straight into a wall. God, that’s embarrassing. C’mon girlie, pay attention! I look up, but it seems like I’ve slammed into absolutely nothing at all. I immediately get my hackles up, jumping into a defensive position. “Okay big guy, hurry up. I think we have company.” 

I swipe a few times at the dim empty air, hoping to catch whatever it is that I smashed into. I rack my brain for some kind of invisible cape, but I don’t think I can remember any; at least none in CCHIP’s employ. I make a swipe to my right, and make contact with some soft flesh, nicking something I can’t quite make out.

“Oww! Gawd bitch, watch where you swing those things. You’re way overdue for a manicure.” Oh, of course it’s her. I roll my eyes as a figure walks out from where I swung, jumping back into the hallway; it’s skin and colorization matching perfectly from where it stood before, like a chameleon who just got moved. Soon, she drops the illusion, returning to the good old annoying Shiftra I know and love. “Look what you did!” She twists to show off the jagged slices I made in the side of her arm.

I roll my eyes as she heals up the nasty cut I gave her. “See, you’ll live. You still look amazing.” 

“And you look…” She pauses, seemingly taken aback. “I’m sorry, what the hell are you wearing?”

“You like?” I giggle and give a little twirl. Alas, there’s no skirt to flare out, but the cape on my hood does a dramatic enough swoosh. “I’m like a badass ninja now!”

She scoffs, holding the back of her hand up to her lips. “Please. What dumpster did you snatch that out of?” I scoff, holding my hand over my heart. She smiles at that. “You look like the worst kind of stereotype about a homeless person. You’re, like, one balaclava from showing up in a boomer’s castle doctrine wet dream. I swear, you villains all have the worst sense of fashion. I should arrest you for fashion crimes, not grand theft.” 

I huff, crossing my arms. “You’re just jealous I look like a cool robin hood ninja type and you’re stuck looking like a statue avi’s tradwife.” 

“Oh that’s it, bitch, you’re going down.” She smiles at me, bending out the kinks in her arms, then throws them out transforming them into her favorite big beefy clawed numbers. I, of course, take the very cool and badass move of running as fast as I could away from her, a random direction I hadn’t studied enough.

Shiftra takes chase, digging her claws deep into the ground and launching herself after me. She’s easily faster than me, so I have to make every turn I can possibly to build enough distance from her. I tap the coms quickly as I do a skid past one of the corners. “Guess who’s back! I swear, she’s obsessed with us. It’s always either her or that glorified sidekick.”

“Damn,” Meathead buzzes in. “I’ll be right over there. We’re gonna have to come back.”

“No!” I huff, circling back into the amphitheater. “Trust me, I can do this. I don’t need bailing out every time. Focus on your work so we don’t have to see this awful building again.” 

Shiftra blows her way into the room, blasting the doors open, ripping them off their hinges. “There you are. Not getting away this time, you’re mine now ‘girlie’. I’m taking you in and then we’ll get you to sing.”

I know I can’t go back to the medical rooms again, that’s a worse dead end than this is. At least here I can circle her out and run back. I ready myself as she slowly advances, turning her arms back to her standard. 

“You know,” I start, trying to buy some time. “It sounds so much snottier when you call me that. Haven’t your boys got a name for me yet?” I lean down into a sprinter’s stance, sliding my claws into the concrete. 

“I suggested ‘skank whore’, but for some reason the boys won’t go for it. Men, right?” She sprouts her wings out of her back, breaking through the skin with their little bloody mists, making a huge leap directly into the amphitheater floor in front of me. 

Gotcha! 

The floor shatters directly underneath her, dropping her into the deep slurry pool just under the thin, easily shattered layer I left on top. I zap the floor again, hardening it around her, mostly encasing her in the now steel-like flooring. 

I laugh, skipping past her as she struggles and grunts in the floor. I stop as I get there, leaning over at her exposed face, glaring at me. “Seriously? How many times are you going to fall for the ol’ Carbonite special?” 

I giggle, but she just gives me a smug look from her cage. Suddenly, a huge tendril of flesh shoots out from her exposed face, wrapping around me tight, squeezing the life outta me. Fuck, okay, that one was on me I guess!

I’m lifted about four feet off the ground, then slammed down onto it. Takes the wind directly out of me. Thank God for this new armor, because Shiftra immediately lifts me up and slams me back down over and over again, cracking the floor entirely.

She lets go of me, oozing her way slowly out of her encasement, like an octopus squeezing through a tiny hole. Her face starts to reform, glaring over at me with the one eye formed enough to move.

Ok, fuck this. I’m outty nine thousand. I know under here is the service tunnels. It’ll be a nightmare to get out though there, but I know I can ditch her at the same time. Before she can reform any more, I stick my nails in one of the cracks of the crater I’m laying in, having it crumble further before dissolving completely and dropping me into the tunnels below. 

I didn’t, however, expect them to be so vertical.

I start freefalling, panic setting in quickly. My armor’s good, but not that good. I don’t want to turn into a pancake! I claw at the walls of the shaft, trying desperately to slow my fall or maybe even stick to the wall. I manage to build a little bit of drag, but near the end I slam pretty hard into a steel pipe, losing my grip on the wall and slamming me flat on my back like a dead fish.

Ow. Oof. My back. Christ, I’m going to feel that one tomorrow. I don’t know how many excuses I can come up for why I’m starting to get beaten to a pulp, so I really have to get better at this.

Part of me wonders if I can just lay here and nap it off real quick. But then of course I hear Shiftra screaming out in frustration. “You’re not getting away again!” I look up, and I can only see a black silhouette in the bright light of several huge arms sprouting from her body, gripping into the hole I made, and launching its way down to me. Ok, no, gotta move. I get up as fast as I can, make sure I’ve still got everything, and run. 

I slam my hand against my communicator hard, sprinting my way through this maze of tunnels. “Ok big boy, plan’s changed. I’m in the tunnels under the training field. Can you tell me where I am? I’m blind as a bat down here.” 

I wait for a response, but it’s crinkly, staticy. “Sor… tting out… oor won’t op…” Then a huge burst of noise comes through, followed by total silence. God damn it, I should still be in range!

I hit a hard turn right as she slams down into the tunnel I’m in, chasing after me. It sounds like entirely too many legs hitting the concrete floor. I don’t dare look back. I just pull a few curtains of concrete out to block her way every time I slam into a corner. 

I’m sprinting towards where I pray the exit will be, turning left and right, twisting around, until: disaster, utterly and truly. I’ve ran into a dead end. 

She quickly catches up, pulling in her extra limbs, squeezing down into her original form, standing at the end of the hall. “Nowhere to turn now, skank. You’re officially mine. Any last words?” 

Shit. Can I do the concrete trick again, flip her around? I slowly pace towards the dark end of the corner that’s covered in shadows. “Yeah, I do. You know, we all said some things in the past that I’m sure neither you nor I really meant. I think we can settle it like grown adults, ri– Ghuhk!”

I can’t breathe, something’s wrapped against my neck tight. I didn’t know she was that fast! I look over and Shiftra is still standing there, unchanged. Then what’s got me? 

I cough and sputter, reaching for the hand around my throat, when I’m lifted and slammed against the wall above me, legs dangling. A new voice rings out from the shadows. “This, Shiftra? This is what you’ve been wasting your time on?” Oh my god. Dragging me against the wall, scraping my back as he steps out of hiding, is Protocol Zero, the top rated hero in all of Central City. I’m cooked.