When I woke again, the sun was up and Jiju’s nest was empty. She must have gone out early, and it’s just as well, I could stay in the nest a bit longer. As I laid there, my mind continued to play through the events of the dream again. The reminder of the promise continued to buzz. Meeting two gods in such a manner could be terrifying and exhilarating in a lot of ways, and it was difficult making sense of it all. One thing was clear to me though, the promise was not so that she could be me, it was so I could.

In previous dreams like the one from any other night, I was Olivia. Occasionally a young Olivia that didn’t know who she would come to be, but Olivia all the same. In my memories of this life, I am Talivi. A Talivi that‘s still figuring herself out, just like Liv was throughout her life. But when I met with Vander and Luna, I was neither and both. Just raw soul?

I needed to know who I was, but there was fear too. Who will I be if it all comes back… or when? It was going to come, it was a certainty—probably in a short few years. Would I still love my sisters like I do now? Liv wanted sisters, wanted a more lively family. More than anything she wanted me to live without her influence. I wanted the rift between my sisters, my clutch mended. Liv promised that I could.

Eventually I did force myself out of bed. On my way to the washbasin, I saw Alex and Vander sitting at the table chatting, eating some eggs and fish. When they saw me enter, Alex very hurriedly stopped eating and pushed the plate a subtle inch further from him.

“[It’s fine Alex, lots of creatures in this world lay eggs, it’s not weird. Those are the eggs of some lowly inferior bird,]” I reassured him.

He remained unconvinced, “[It seems a little weird…]”

With a customary eye roll, I snatched some scramble off Vander’s plate and tossed it in my mouth, “[Shee?]”

“[Hey!]” Vander protested, “[Yours is over on the counter.]”

Alex shrugged and resumed eating again, but a bit less enthusiastically than when I walked in. With a quick splash of water I washed up and grabbed my breakfast. “[Did Jiju go out, hunt more fish, cook, and leave again all before I woke up?]”

“[And also those ground rules she mentioned last night,]” said Vander. He added, “[Don’t feel too bad, we all slept in a bit.]”

“[At least I’m walking now,]” said Alex.

"[Hobbling,]" I corrected.

The ground rules for our human guests were mostly related to isolation, not outright confinement. They had a sundown curfew, and had to stay within the confines of our home’s territory at all times. Our clutchhome was at the edge of the village, tucked against the canyon wall, and the flora around it was thick, so it made for a decent sized compound including all the land and, for the sake of our guests, private. They could even hunt our lands as long as it was within our territory.

There was also to be no fraternizing with the Hesht people. Alex was a fish out of water among the Hesht, and I couldn’t see him seeking out such things. Though Vander always seemed to be in his element and didn’t hold the same prejudices as Alex, I’m certain there is only one Hesht he’s interested in.

They also had jobs to do. Vander would translate for Alex as needed. In just a few short days, Vander was picking up our dialect. The communication barrier between Jiju and him were thinning. He was also going to be responsible for food generally. Whether he hunted it himself, or we brought the ingredients to him, he’d be doing the cooking. He actually volunteered for the assignment, which was fine by me. I remember the picnic we had between lives, and though simple, the meal was delicious.

Alex had laundry, and other non-food related cleaning. Additionally, he was responsible for my magic education, and assisting my own magic research. Magecraft wasn’t a typical part of the Blessed education track, but it was necessary for the sake of keeping the Chief and her cronies at bay. We weren’t sure how long Alex would stay with us until he was ready to move on. I assumed at some point he’ll want to return home, but as long as he’s here he’s to abide the rules.

“[And they apply to you too,]” Alex said.

“[…Which ones?]” I asked.

“[All of them except the chores I think, though I suspect Jiju has other things in mind for you].”

“[A curfew? Wait I can’t even leave our territory?! What about the village?]” I rambled off questions in panic.

Vander looked at me sternly, and in his best Jiju impression said, “[I will make a proper Blessed of her yet.]”

“[What about my sisters?]”

“[She didn’t say they couldn’t come and go. Won’t they be here this morning?]”

“[You’re right!]” I hurriedly finished up my fish and egg scramble, and said my goodbyes to the humans for now. I went down to the nearby stream—part of it was within our territory, I wasn’t trying to piss off Jiju first thing in the morning. I did want to clean myself more thoroughly before meeting my sisters though.

I quickly slipped out of my dress and dove in headfirst. When I came up to the surface, it was with a delicious freshwater fish clasped between my hands. “Ghisé’s spellbraid really does the trick.”

“You should not be relying on braids to catch your food,” a cool even voice said from behind me. I turned to find my unreadable guardian there.

“I just wanted to try it out,” I qualified. “Thanks for breakfast though, I didn’t know you were such an early bird,” I giggled slightly at my own joke.

“I thought it wise in case you wanted to… stimulate yourself further.”

Silence hung in the air for a moment before being broken by a splash. I looked down and realized I had dropped the fish as my face reddened. I opened and closed my mouth silently, caught just as the fish was. Jiju wasn’t sleeping last night… not the whole time.

She sighed that sigh of slight disappointment I was becoming increasingly used it. “Your self-gratifying behavior is not uncommon among shortclaws, but please remember you are Blessed too. You have your station to consider.”

“Shortclaws?”

“Spellweavers. Not that I’ve met one before you, so don’t ask me any questions about your craft.”

I’d never seen another shortclaw in the village, not as far as I remember, “Are there any here?”

Her eyebrow twitched, “No, not here.“

Other places then, other Hesht villages? There could be Hesht mages out there that knew even more than the book, and I could ask them questions. “I… know that my place is with my flock right now, but maybe someone out there could teach me more about Spellweaving. Alex is really more of an engineer.”

Her lips turned down, “We’ll discuss this later. Hurry back soon. Knowing Ghisé your sisters won’t be much longer.” Without waiting for reply, she quickly turned and left towards our home.

Was she hesitant to say more about other Hesht, or just done talking? I couldn’t quite tell with her, not yet. I moved into a back float position, staring at the sky trying to pull any pieces together I could. If there were other Hesht out there, other shortclaws, were there other Blessed? Jiju said something of a prayer to Phoenix.

I knew the legend of the phoenix from before I was born. A mythical bird of legend that burst into flames upon death and would be reborn from the ashes. Immortal. In some depictions she wasn’t just immortal, but of flame.

If a being like that were Hesht, then what would you call her if not Fireblessed? Many of the legends of Earth were strikingly similar, or even dead on what reality could be on Earth-Two. Earthu? Saying prayers to her… Well what would make sense for a Hesht God more than a Hesht Immortal?

Once I had finished thinking too far ahead and bathing, I made the short hike back to the house. What would I tell my sisters when I met them… What wouldn’t I tell them? The same crap that’s been on my mind since meeting with the Chief. By the time I got there, the house was much fuller than I left it. Around the large common room table were faces I longed to see for so long, right in this place I expected to see them.

“Tali!”

“Talivi!”

“Princess.”

Not all my sisters were here, but Reyna, Inir, Ber, and Sen were. Ghisé too of course. I didn’t really expect Cee to share the same air as humans, although Alex and Vander had made themselves scarce after breakfast anyways. Still…after the past couple days, I thought Kelz would be here.

They all looked like they wanted to jump up and hug me. Poor Reyna was gripping her perch with her claws and talons both. Ghisé must’ve warned them after I snapped at her and Kelz the other night.

Still, this was home, this was family. I could accept I really was free. “What? No hug?” 

It was a scramble to see who made it to me first. It was actually Reyna, then Ghisé, then a glomb of who knows who. It was a little difficult to breathe under all their fluff and plumage but that was a small price to pay.

When we all found our way to the table again, everyone had taken their old and customary spots. It must’ve just been habit, but it made it perfectly honest who wasn’t here this morning. I must’ve been staring at that empty space where Cee and Kelz would normally be a bit too long.

“They had a big fight,” Ber said.

“I-it’s not your fault Tali!” said Reyna.

“I mean… it kind of is.” Everyone’s eyes landed on Inir at once, “What? It’s not exactly a secret,” she continued.

She wasn’t wrong, but no one had outright said anything to the effect. Well no one but me. “I’m so sorry!” I nearly threw myself from my perch with an exaggerated bow.

“Let’s be honest Inir,” Reyna started, “They were going to have a major blowup over something. If it wasn’t over Tali—Tali, pick up your head—it would’ve be something else.”

Ber snorted, “I bet she just wishes they were fighting over her instead of the Princess.”

“We’re not here for this,” Sen said simply, warning the others.

“W-we brought snacks!” Ghisé tried to wrangle the conversation and mood. “Inir went out with Cee this morning. She… said that she was too busy.”

Oooo so close Ghisé. Almost made it through a sentence about her scorn free. Though it was difficult scrounging up too much sympathy based on yesterday, the bird-piling on was getting in the way of healing. “Inir, can you thank her for me when you see her?”

She huffed, “Sure.”

The basket full of berries and other forage was good. After living off scraps, then scraps and fish, then backs to just scraps again: I was eating gourmet.

Our brunch proceeded without incident from there. I asked a lot of questions about what my sisters had been doing, what they were doing now. I wanted to get to know them again. Conversation steered carefully through those years though. My sisters worked hard to avoid talking about Cee, though Inir’s recount of the years wasn’t lacking mentions.

Reyna was actually the first to leave the clutchhome. Well… the first besides me. She said she was just feeling cooped up and needed a change of scenery. She was always prone to boredom, and between the two of us, if anyone were to wander off and get captured I’d have guessed her and been wrong. Though in her case it would’ve at least been over some new plant or beast or “I found this cool rock” instead of getting all worked up over a dumb nickname like ‘Princess’.

Lucky for me, Inir’s story filled in some gaps for the two who weren’t present. Cee went next, intent on learning from the Chief. Kelz went with her at the time and they still live together with Inir. That must be tough.

Ghisé and Sen followed, they also live together, though I imagine things are quite a bit more peaceful between them than in the Kelz-Cee-Inir home. Sen had taken on some courier work for the village. She was always a swift and graceful flyer, and I bet she was already putting some of the other more veteran carriers to shame.

Ghisé fell under Jiju’s wing. She wants to be a guardian now too. I wasn’t sure what her aptitude was for that kind of life, but she certainly had the attitude. She was fierce in a different way than Cee and Kelz.

Inir went next, joining up with Kelz and Cee. Her story involved a lot of fumbling around if you ask me. She was hesitant to leave until Cee invited her to be their roommate. She’d tried to fill her days in all sorts of ways. She spent time with the village patrols, days on the weaving looms, and to my surprise even a period of time with Jiju and Ghisé in the search for me. These days, she’d been spending more time around Cee and village leadership. I guess at their place, Kelz was the one being bird-piled on.

Ber was the last to go, which I figured based on what Terese said. She might not have gone at all if not for Reyna’s invitation and Terese’s insistence. Reyna was getting tired of living alone, or maybe having no one to talk at. Ber wasn’t the best understander, but she was a great listener.

And that was it for the clutch. The clutchhome remained empty with the henmothers undecided on what to do with it. There were other clutchhomes with space for younger Hesht, and even when Terese moved to one of those, she still returned here on occasion.

The conversation was serious, but mostly positive. Clutch conflict aside, everyone was at least excited to tell me about themselves and their lives. By the end, of the little round-robin the mood was calm, pleasant. I didn’t want to ruin that. But eventually, Reyna couldn’t contain herself and asked the question everyone else desperately wanted to: “So, can you tell us what happened to you?”

“Happened to.” Between my patchy plumage, my pale skin, and slack muscles, it was a good choice of words. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jiju had found her way into the room, standing just outside the threshold to Vander and Alex’s room. The curtain swished suspiciously behind her. I hoped Alex wasn’t listening.

———

I did my best to paint Alex in a generous light and I told my sisters almost everything.

I told them about the fight in the forest, learning that being Lightblessed is more than just a fancy way of saying “blonde.” I owed Ghisé an apology for that day… The sound of her cry as I blasted her with lightning haunts me, so I left that bit out.

I talked about the time in Redwall. Like Jiju suggested, I left out Alex’s involvement with the poachers, but I did leave in the details about him being a sympathetic captor. It was important to paint him in a good light before they had to put a human face to the name. I talked about him teaching me magic and the days we spent together.

I also left out details about Vander’s true nature and mine, but highlighted his actions in freeing me from the cage. His heroic actions in holding off Galden and his goons, and his amazing display of magic that would have the estate landscapers scratching their heads while accepting the bonus pay.

Lastly, I talked about the important Hesht related things I’d learned. I talked about Hesht Spellweaving alongside a demonstration of Ghisé’s spellbraid. I brought out the ancient Hesht tome, and wondered aloud at the Hesht who authored it. Wondered if there were more books out there. I told them a bit about what Vander said regarding large Hesht cities of old, and used some of the memories of Earth to paint a picture of what a city even was.

I wanted to end on a hopeful note. I wanted to leave the heartache of being separated behind me. Based on their expressions, it worked too. Reyna was pretty much drooling over the Tome, so I snatched it away before she could slobber all over the ink.

The room broke into small quiet conversation from there, and the basket of forage dwindled to an empty one. The room continued to dwindle too, but I asked Ghisé to stay behind. I needed someone to talk about these memories with. Someone who’s always known me as me. Plus, I did owe her an apology.

Dreyva

After my last release, which was R18+, I got a couple reviews on the lower end. If that's how a reader feels I don't mind! Especially if you've come this far. Unfortunately, those reviews didn't have any feedback attached. So I guess the question is, "What's up?"