Twenty-first Encounter

“Good morning, love.” (me)

“Mmm.” (Sam) I guess he didn’t have much to say, instead he just pulled me in for a kiss.

*creak*

“What the fuck is this? I thought this was a rape dungeon?” (man 1)

“Maybe he’s getting raped?” (woman 1)

“Can you not tell, he’s the one kissing her?” (man 2)

“Maybe she’s the one getting raped?” (woman 2)

“She’s holding him in her tendrils. The fucking looks slow and gentle. Damn, I wish my wife was that nice.” (man 1)

“She’d probably be nicer if you’d stop flirting with me.” (woman 2)

“Oh come on, you know and she knows it’s not serious. It’s all in good fun!” (man 1)

“I know you’d fuck her if she ever said yes.” (man 2)

“Well, so would you!” (man 1)

“I’m not married.” (man 2)

“If you want to relax, there’s a bath in the back.” (me)

“Aren’t you supposed to fight us or something?” (woman 1)

“I’d rather not. All you have to do to beat me is not fall asleep before I do.” (me)

“C’mon, lets use the bath, Liese” (woman 2)

“Alright, you boys stay out.” (woman 1)

“Damn. I wanna peek.” (man 1)

“No peeking.” (me)

“You gonna stop me?” (man 1)

“Yes.” (me)

“Damn. Even the boss doesn’t give me a break.” (man 1)

“Maybe if you weren’t such a jerk, you’d have an easier time with women.” (man 2)

“What would you know?” (man 1)

“I’m the one who convinced the two ladies to let you join the party, remember?” (man 2)

“Oh, fuck, ow, cramps. I think I’m going into labor.” (me)

“Oh geeze, giving birth already? It couldn’t have been even a month yet!” (Sam)

“You two are making babies? How is that even possible?” (man 1)

“Maybe they’re both monsters, and he just looks like a human, or is in disguise?” (man 2)

“Holy shit!” (man 2)

After a really short and painful labor, I gave birth to a giant ball of dicks. Wtf? It’s bigger than I am! It’s gotta be ten feet tall! Er… in diameter.

“Now this is the kind of boss I expected! Bit of a repeat, but that’s just fine!” (man 1)

“Liese! Elly! Get out here! We got a fight!” (man 2)

“A-are you okay, Lily?” (Sam)

“Y-yeah. Just in shock. What am I supposed to think of this? I-I thought I’d have kids! What is this!” (me)

“What? Where did this thing come from?!?” (Liese)

“Ah! What is it spraying?” (me)

“Lust poison. Let’s hide in the bath.” (Sam)

“Oryaa!” (man 1)

We fled to the bath while the adventurers attacked the… thing… I gave birth to.

“Ah, what the heck! Are monsters all I’m gonna give birth to? Can’t I have kids?” (me)

“You wanted kids?” (Sam)

“I-I, yeah, I did. I do. I don’t know why. I don’t want to raise them, and I don’t think I could do a good job if I tried, but I do want kids, and I don’t know why… and… *sniff* I can’t! I can’t have kids!” (me)

Sam held me as I cried. It was silly and dumb and that didn’t seem to matter, I was sad and crying anyway. Why did I care so much? Why did I want kids? Actually trying to raise kids sounds awful, but I wanted them anyway. This sucks.

I cried myself to sleep in Sam’s arms. I hope the adventurers are okay.

***Author Note***

I wasn’t expecting the crying. You weren’t supposed to cry, Lily. In fact, you weren’t supposed to be upset at all. Emotions are confusing. Why are emotions so weird? Wait, why am I sad too? Dang it, I just wanted to make a joke about spending lots of time looking for a caretaker only to not need one. It wasn’t supposed to be sad! … it was supposed to be silly.