11. Dining With An Outer Deity
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~Apologies if any of you were frustrated by the previous chapter. My mental state was not in the right place and I felt it was appropriate to share the feeling with everyone. Now don’t worry.

 

Cliff-chan won’t be making an appearance again anytime soon. For those of you who wanted to read about her, that’s a bummer.~

 

***

 

Location: Planet Uncharted Celestia, Constellation Astral Nexus, Galactic Region- Luminous Crossroads, Dimensional Coordinates- Theta-9, Sector 7, Universal Realm- Celestial Harmonium

 

Shiraori PoV:

 

The silver-haired barkeep, still recovering from her unreasonable fear of me, placed the first drink before me with a nervous yet diligent demeanor.

 

"Here's the [Essence of Stardust], a milder introduction to our cosmic delights," she announced, her voice carrying a hint of trepidation. Contrary to its name, it was transparent like water. Based on the name alone one might think of something like a galaxy in a cup but this drink did not evoke such an image.

 

“The ingredients for all drinks were procured from a group of six known as the stardust crusaders.” She continued with the introduction.

 

I took the first sip, and the drink unfolded across my palate like a delicate dance of stardust. It might not have the looks reminiscent of its name, but such an image was plastered across my mind as it slipped down my throat.

 

Well, it was a weaker beverage but internally, I did not have any expectations that any of the drinks could get me drunk. So I decided that I would have a few sips of each beverage first before lowering my immunities enough to get drunk.

 

Apparently, the elder brewmaster was also not present so I will have to make do with this girl. As I savored the Essence of Stardust, I noticed the barkeep stealing glances at me, perhaps gauging my reaction.

 

Encouraged by my nod of approval, she proceeded to the next creation, her hands working with a newfound determination.

 

"Next in line is the [Hourglass], a blend of temporal essences that captures the concept of moments unfolding," she explained, her words clearly rehearsed due to repeating them multiple times by the point. It seemed she had regained her confidence to work again.

 

She did indeed place an hourglass in front of me with the drink inside it. Rather than a liquid I had expected, there was a sand-like substance inside similar to a normal hourglass.

 

“The drink is in the form of the sands of time. Each grain represents a moment in your life. If you focus your observation towards the center of the hourglass, it will look as if time has stopped, and the sand is stationary. Frozen in a slice of time.

 

If you focus your observation towards the lower section, you will view time passing linearly at different rates as represented by the sand flowing downwards. Conversely, if you view it upwards by flipping the hourglass, it represents viewing your entire life in reverse.

 

All effects will come into play when taking a sip of the drink.” Hmm, so am I supposed to get the feeling of watching a movie about my whole life when I consume this? Let’s try it out. I quickly took a sip from the hourglass.

 

Yes, sip. Even if it visually looked like sand, it was actually a liquid. As the liquid touched my lips, an immediate sensation of temporal distortion swept through my senses. The grains of 'Hourglass' echoed the events of my life, with each sip revealing a snippet of my personal history.

 

At the center of the hourglass, time appeared to halt, freezing specific moments in a suspended animation of memory. I could focus on a single grain and relive a moment with vivid clarity.

 

Shifting my gaze towards the lower section, the sands flowed at varying speeds, depicting the ebb and flow of life's pace. It was a surreal experience, sipping on the drink while witnessing my existence unfold in non-linear fashion.

 

Then I decided to invert the hourglass, taking the cup in hand and sipping while looking upwards. The reversal of the sands presented a retrospective view, like watching the chapters of my life play in reverse.

 

Interestingly, it only showed my human past. None of the events after my transmigration were visible. Since I do have a minor authority over time myself, the drink did not seem to have the intended effect though.

 

It simply felt like I was playing a VR game about my own life with me as the controllable character rather than the ethereal experience I was promised. But I can’t complain. After all, even this was not something I had experienced before.

 

While I had a tinge of disappointment, it was nothing I did not expect. Lowering my immunities for an authentic experience seemed like the right course of action after all. Of course, it would be temporary since I can’t afford to be careless for long.

 

If I reveal something I should not in case I do get drunk, I can simply erase their memories or in the worst cast erase them from existence. I am not a monster, so I will make sure to end them as gently as possible.

 

Nudging towards her to bring out the next drink, I waited for a few minutes as the next brew was placed before me.

 

“The next drink is called [Cat In A Box]. It is based on the idea of quantum superposition. When you don’t observe it, the beverage simultaneously exists and does not exist. Opening the box, you can view either of the states.

 

Once you consume it, the effect is to show you parallel realities of yourself. Realities similar to our own where you exist and where you don’t.”

 

It looked like a blue box the size of a wine glass made from plastic. Hmm, so essentially this is Schrodinger’s cat, the cocktail version. Well, let’s gulp it down. As I opened the box with enthusiasm, it was empty.

 

Now, I looked like a fool. I should have used my powers, but I held back anyway. I had to make my first otherworld drinking experience as authentic as possible. I casually closed it and opened it once more as if nothing was wrong. Luckily, a rainbow-colored liquid was visible inside.  

 

It looked like nothing too outrageous compared to what I had expected. Regardless, I took a sip and waited to experience something……nothing happened. I repeated the process but again nothing happened.

 

Finally, out of a fit of anger, I chugged down the whole box of alcohol. And as expected, once more nothing happened. The drink seemed to have zero effect on me whatsoever. After a brief thought, I understood why it was so.

 

As an outer god, I was already beyond the confines of reality. There was only one of me now. There never was and never will be another version of me. Even more so as all the probabilities for all alternate realities are within the grasp of my authority.

 

That’s a bummer.

 

“Uh…Um, I-is something wrong?” She fidgeted as she asked this. Bishoujo-chan was once again starting to get nervous over my actions that were contrary to whenever I tasted the drinks earlier.

 

Let’s make a change of plans. I guess, I’ll have to speed run my wine tasting tour. I’ll lower my immunity now and continue so that I don’t disappoint myself any further.

 

‘Don’t worry about it. Could you speed up bringing the food and beverages? I am going to…switch of my mind and enjoy it,’ I replied.

 

“N-No problem! I’ll finish up quickly…” Before she could finish that sentence, I had lowered my immunities and chugged down the drinks that were already in front of me. Just as I did this…

 

***

Lysandra Starweaver PoV:

 

‘What is happening today?’ Lysandra thought as she experienced arguably the most chaotic day of her life.

 

‘She’ had appeared at the bar out of nowhere and stared at her intently for a while with predatory eyes as if to determine Lysandra’s worth before ordering everything. She had been moved to tears when ‘Her’ voice suddenly popped up in Lysandra’s mind.

 

‘Master, where are you when I need you? How could you disappear in my time of need? You did this on purpose because I stole your alchemy vessel, didn’t you? Come back quickly and deal with ‘Her’, I’m sorrrryyyy….’ She wanted to bawl out like a baby and roll around on the floor.

 

No matter how Lysandra thought about it, this being in front of her was a mythical outer goddess or at least someone close to that level. There was no way that presence could be hidden from anyone. Everyone at the tavern had gone quiet as if to try and erase their existence.

 

‘What if ‘She’ doesn’t like what I prepared and eats me instead?’ Such thoughts kept popping up in Lysandra’s mind as she tried to focus on the preparation.

 

No one could blame her in this situation. The looks of pity that everyone in the tavern sent towards her back stung her heart deeply. Not even her master had served one of ‘Them’, much less her. She was just a beginner.

 

Normally, Lysandra would feel angry at being called a beginner alchemist and mixologist but at the moment, she regretted ever becoming Kaldrek’s student. But complain as she might, time does not wait for her. She had to hurry.

 

After that everything did seem to be going in the right direction until Lysandra served [Cat In A Box]. Somehow the drink had ticked ‘Her’ off. Had she brewed it wrongly?

 

No, definitely not. Even if she was nervous enough that she wanted to lock herself away in her secret chamber, she won’t make a mistake at serving a drink she had brewed millions of times.

 

”Um, I-is something wrong?” And so Lysandra expressed her doubts while fidgeting. Internally though she was praying ‘Please don’t eat me. I am not tasty. I feel like I have gained weight recently and my flesh is definitely not delicious…’

 

‘Don’t worry about it. Could you speed up bringing the food and beverages? I am going to…switch of my mind and enjoy it,’ Lysandra heard the voice once more. Switch off her mind? What does that mean?

 

Eh, regardless I have comply with ‘Her’ wishes.

 

“N-No problem! I’ll finish up quickly…” But before she even finished speaking all the brews she had already prepared had vanished as if to signal Lysandra to bring more.

Lysandra had years of experience running things in one of the most chaotic places and yet, she could not understand what happened after that.

 

She brewed multiple drinks after that such as [Blackhole], [Singularity], [Warp], [Conceptual Death], [Oblivion], [Rebirth], [Every Paradox in One] and many more. All of them just vanished the instant she placed them in front of ‘Her’.

 

[‘~Bishouuuuu-channn, I want moooree. Let me enjoyyy before Abyss-chan comesss after me~’] A chaotic voice boomed in her mind. It definitely belonged to ‘Her’ but luckily it held no ill will towards Lysandra as she was still fine.

 

‘Who was bisho-chan? That’s me right? Is this the name bestowed to me by ‘Her’? A so-called divine name given by God to a follower. But I am not her follower, right? More importantly, ‘She’ wants to enjoy more. Emphasis on more, implies ‘She’ is currently happy with what I prepared.

 

That’s enough to give me the highest bragging rights and the title of the greatest brewmaster who ever lived right?’ Lysandra’s confidence was immensely boosted, and her thoughts were becoming more divergent by the second.

 

‘Based on the context this Abyss-chan is another one of ‘Them’ isn’t she? Wait doesn’t that mean there will be two of ‘Them’ coming to the tavern? Nooo, I have to hurry up.’

 

As she kept brewing and displaying her skill, ‘Her’ voice once again drifted into Lysandra’s ears. And by the looks of it a few other’s heard it as well as they visibly flinched. Lysandra knew that feeling all too well, but regardless she tuned in:

 

[‘Did you know bishouuu-cha…ha, did you know, this whole reality was something I randomly scribbled for entertainment? And pooof, now everything exists. Isn’t that interst…tinggg?’]

 

Lysandra froze at what she had just heard. ‘Why am I being told this? I know you are an outer goddess but there’s no need to inform me of this is there?’ The few others who heard also wished to dissppear.

 

‘Wait, since ‘She’ said she will switch off ‘Her’ mind, it means ‘She’ is not entirely conscious right now. Then won’t I be silenced after ‘She’ is wide and awake for hearing information privy to gods?’ Lysandra’s hard-earned confidence was shattered as tears threatened to spill out of her eyes once more.

 

She then realized a fact that could very likely tilt the situation to an even worse direction for her. She could not access the ingredients for making the celestial nectar. They were a part of her master’s collection and everything that happened had caused her to forget.

 

It was a fatal lapse in judgement. So she decided to delay as much as possible with food. She brought out her best dishes made from ingredients like cutlets of compressed leviathans and finest cuts of dark young roasted to a medium-rare in cosmic radiation.

 

 The accompanying side dishes showcased a harmonious blend of ingredients sourced from distant corners of reality—crystallized nectar from celestial blossoms, essence-infused quasar grains, and microgreens cultivated in newborn planets.

 

Each element contributed to the overall symphony of flavors, elevating the leviathan cutlets with dark young to a gastronomic masterpiece. She even used a few prized ingredients like tiny sections of tentacles obtained from ancient ‘gods’.

 

They were not truly gods but high enough in the hierarchy to be considered what one might expect of a god. And she began eating without further ado, Lysandra broke the bad news to her:

 

“I-I am d-deeply sorry but I can’t make the c-celestial nectar. I don’t have access to the ingredients.” As Lysandra bowed down in an attempt to start digging her grave and bury herself into the ground, she felt the goddess’s focus being placed on her and heard ‘Her’ voice:

 

[‘N..No, no moree?’] Lysandra did not know why she felt as the goddess was tilting her head in doubt as sweat started trickling down her forehead.

 

[‘Noooo…I wan, more or Abyss-chaan will come and loock me up. Whyyy didn’t I create a world like a low tier world like Haikyuu or a romcom like Kaguya-sama and some minute eldriiiitchhh element’s to it insteadd of this??...’]

 

Lysandra heard a random slew of sentences which made no sense to her. ‘What is Haikyuu? Is this Kaguya-sama supposed to be better? That sounds like a person. If they are good why add these ‘eldreesh’ elements to them? What even are any of these things?

 

Are these the thoughts that outer god’s have? No wonder they tell us not to pry into the mystery of god. Because just trying to make any sense of these thoughts while you await the final judgement to befall you while drive you insane.’

 

She didn’t even realize her thoughts were starting to border on the blasphemous.

 

‘Anyway if I am going to die a horrible death, she might as well go out knowing the mysteries of the multiverse which no one else knows like whoever this Kaguya-sama person is that deserves a world of their own personally handcrafted by an outer goddess.’

 

[‘Shouuld I j-jus end everything insteadd???’] Lysandra instinctively wanted to shout [DON’T] loudly but held back upon hearing what she had just heard.

 

[‘Nmm, hmm this is gooood. But not enoughhh…what should I eat nexxt? Hmm eenie, meeenie anddd you are the lucky winner. Open wide~’]

And so Lysandra watched in horror out of the corner of her eye as the goddess turned towards a ‘lucky’ customer upon chomping down the food in front of her.

 

‘Poor dragon-kin who I do not know, rest in peace. Your worthy sacrifice will be remembered by everyone present here and be worshipped as a hero who saved hundreds…’ She offered a silent prayer to the huge dragon-kin who seemed to have come into the goddess’s vision.  

 

And the next second any trace of him had vanished. [‘Kind of stringy. I preferrr bishouu-chan’s cooking more. I will make sure to keep coming here to eat the food you make. Or should I juuust take you from here. Oi, bishoo-chan what dooo you think?’]

 

All she could think was ‘Please don’t’. She felt her life expectancy dripping. Maybe she would she tears of blood out of the terror she had experienced today. Was there any mental hospital that could rehabilitate her after today’s traumatic memories if she had to live beside the goddess every day?

 

‘Master, please save meeee…’  

 

[‘Who isss next? You, noo. The one next to you looks more delicious, but so doess that one…’] The goddess was planning her next hunt as everyone sweated and tried to make themselves look less appealing.

 

‘Why had they come here today?’ This was everyone’s collective thought

 

[‘I heeeard babiess are supposed to be deliciousss. Espeeciially vampire babiesss. Are there any juiccy vampire babies here? Nai wa. Totally nai waa. Where is vamppy when you need her?? I would have simply eaten her. I am hungryyy…’]

 

Lysandra felt sorry for whoever this vampy was. Was there any other being in existence as unfortunate as her? But before the goddess could go looking for juicy vampire babies, a loud sound reverberated through the chambers.

 

Lysandra had the urge to hold her forehead upon witnessing who it was. Young master Lin Feng had made his presence known with his normal cocky arrogance. And this arrogance would cost him dearly as it had also successfully attracted ‘Her’ attention.

 

***

Unfortunate Young Master Counter:+1

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