You are stuck in an elevator. There are a lot of buttons, but for some reason you keep pressing ‘B1’ every few seconds. Doesn’t help that you started at ‘555’.  For some reason, floors 600 to 699 were missing, and this strangely tall building topped off at 777. Every few minutes some unspeakable abomination would get on, press a button, and prompt the button to go up a few floors, eliciting an angry groan. You’ve been here for what feels like weeks.

You’ve seen many creatures that would make a normal man’s eyes bleed. But that’s okay, you’ve kinda been desensitized to that sort of stuff when your friend disappeared in a freak accident.

In fact…

A familiar abomination gets on the elevator and nods in your direction. You raise an eyebrow, but nod nonetheless. Luckily for you, this one chose one of the lower levels. It was only a mind-numbingly long two days later when you finally reach your destination. The doors open and you let out a sigh of relief. There’s a waiting room with a bunch of rickety seats filled by people from all walks of life. The receptionist at the desk is this cute blonde texting on her phone.

You approach her and gently knock on the desk. Now that’s you’re closer, you could see little horn nubs peeking out of her hair.

“Name and date of birth please.”

Fuck.

Her voice sounds like the results of an unholy orgy consisting of a jet engine, nails on chalkboard, and a pack of unfiltered cigarettes an hour.

“Quinn, XX the of XXXXXX, 19XX”

“Alright go sit—Wait, Quinn?”

She tosses down her phone, where you could see she was making a post on a messageboard. Shitposting, of course.

She rifles through a messy binder until she gets to a specific page.

“I see.”

She looks up to stare at you. The presses a big button on the desk and there’s a big groan from behind her.

“The boss will see you now.”

You cringe again at the sound of her voice. Walking behind her along the hall, you find a big oaken door, with a sign above saying “Big D is IN” Great, you’re meeting a pimp.

Again.

You knock at the door and wait for permission to enter. Pimp canes hurt.

“Come in, I guess.”

You open the door to see what seems like an office. Except there’s dirty clothes in piles everywhere, even inside the numerous trophies and on piles of money. There’s an ornate desk with a few piles of paper, each topped with a half-eaten Dagwood sandwich. There’s a young guy at the desk wearing aviators and a wide smile, his desk blocking his lower half from view. He’s typing wildly on an Apple computer. If you had to describe him, he’d be a ‘roguishly handsome’. He was squeezing an effigy of a bearded guy with a halo like it was a stress doll.

You sit down in the charred and cut up chair stained with what seemed to be coffee.

“Oh you must be Quinn. Nice to meet you.” He waves and you nod. “Now it’s not normal for me to deal with matters personally, but this is important. Ladies, if you could leave us.”

He snaps his fingers and two naked women with horns and bat wings crawl from under his desk, wiping their mouths as they made their way to the exit. Maybe this guy’s a cosplay weirdo?

“Now Mr. Quinn, let’s get down to business.” To defeat the Huns. “You see there’s been a little bit of an…argument.” Oh boy, corporate bullshit. “And we’ve sort of settled for your soul.”

Wait what.

“Wait what?”

The guy leans back and smiles.

“I love to be the bearer of bad news, so I’ll just spit it out. You are dead.”

Fuck.

That explains the sexy demon ladies. Or you’re being swindled.

“Oh yeah?” You cross your arms. “Where’s your proof?”

“Hello? Do you even remember who you are?”

Of course you do? You’re Quinn! You’re…um…Okay, maybe you don’t remember much about yourself.

“That proves nothing. It could be brain injury.”

“That would explain a lot.” His smile grows larger than should be possible on a human face. “But no, check your pants.”

You roll your eyes, but pull down your pants anyways. …Well. That’s odd. Goodbye benus. Hello Ken lookalike prize money. You have never empathized more with your cousin Andro.

Andro was the result of a five-year bender where your Uncle disappeared off the face of the earth and resurfaced on a cargo ship. From Madagascar. Cousin Andro was clutching him by the hand. And nobody knew what gender it was, not even its ‘father’. Because he never undressed Andro.

“I may be willing to put my dick in, on, or around most things on Earth, but I won’t touch kids or children. I’m no pedo.” Apparently goats are overrated lovers.

Get back on track Quinn!

“Um…Okay?” Nailed it.

“Normally, being down here means that you’ll be suffering for all eternity. Along with the rest of your family. You wouldn’t have eyelids or genitals, but you’d still feel the need to use them.” He frowns and gnashes his teeth. “But you and your family have escaped Hell for centuries.”

Seriously? With your fucked up family?

“You see it all started generations ago…” Oooh, history, probably your only favorite subject. You lean forwards in your seat, attentive. The guy raises an eyebrow and scowls.

“Leave it to you to take the fun out of boring lectures. Anyways, the fact is, your family has really walked the line between good and evil more times than I can count. You are actually the first in a long time to be down here. And that was on a weird clause neither side thought would be enacted.”

“Seriously? What about Aunt Mabi?”

“Demon slayer.”

“Cousin Olivia?”

“Apparently, she’s a ‘Modern Robin Hood.’”

“Cam U. Flajje?”

“Believing in an incomprehensively massive universe counts as believing in God.”

“My uncle?”

“The damn messiah. Yeah, sex is a bit iffy for the afterlife and judgement mostly falls down to love.” Wat.

“Andro?”

“The angel put in charge of protecting the messiah.”

That explains the genderless thing.

“So why am I here?”

“Well, since everyone else skirted the line of judgement, even with the massive amount of lawyers at my disposal, we had to settle for one that did neither good nor evil and that was impossible to judge.”

“Can’t you just read my soul or something and send me on my merry way?”

He shakes his hands sarcastically.

“Sure, let me just get my Soul-o-meter 3000 B.C.E. That’ll be sure to tell Heaven and Hell if you’re a good person or not. Oooh look at this, it even has a green light in shape of a heart and a red light in the shape of a frowny face.” He mimed waving it in my direction. “Looky here, it sums up every aspect of your soul in a simple green or red light, isn’t that FUCKING neato?!”

He lets out a deep breath.

“Anyways, since you’re the first true neutral that both parties want, since we’ve started a little betting pool, it’s been decided that we’ll both impart you with equal amounts of influence and let you go as a free agent, to be judged again at an indeterminate time.”

He smirks.

“Of course, while its fairly precise in how I can’t chain you to my will, I can chain you to certain…necessities.” Uh oh.

The guy gets up and you see his lower half for the first time. A matted, oily-black goat half, complete with a massive goat cock.

“Oh, Big D as in DEVIL.” You really should have caught on sooner.

“Catch.”

ZAP

Instantly you feel your body changing. Your favorite suit burns away in purple flames. Your hips widen as your chest billows out. A pair of horns erupts from your skull and curve over your head. As your face freezes in a silent scream, you could feel it rearrange itself. A blistering pain erupts from your backside, and you feel a pointed tail wrap itself seductively around your thighs. The Devil snaps his fingers and a mirror springs into existence.

You see yourself in the mirror. You’d tap that.

Sure, you’ve got big black horns, maroon skin, big leathery wings, and very obviously evil eyes. Black sclera, emerald irises, and snake pupils. But that, along with the wildly brilliant black hair, wide hips, big breasts, and a tail that moved to and fro gave you a beautifully exotic look. You smile nervously and see the lady, and it’s definitely female, in the mirror somehow give you a ‘come hither’ stare unimpeded by the pointy teeth. You try to feel the edges of your teeth, but your tongue keeps on going.

The fuck.

Your freaky demon tongue is a little over a foot long, but you can’t really control it as it writhes wildly in front of you. You stare at yourself in the mirror and watch as the lady seductively moves her tongue about. Fuck, even when you’re failing you’re hot.

“I considered turning you into a war demon, but you wouldn’t last a day as one.”

Turning back to look at the Devil, you realize something awful. Damn it, he’s hot. You feel a pressure in your nethers and certain…parts of you start to feel more sensitive.

“Now normally, I’d ask you to come over here and drain my nuts like the lust demon you are, but you’ve still got free will. But now, to survive, you have to feed on desire. Sexual fluids also work, so that’s a nice bonus.”

‘Nice bonus.’

Thanks, asshole. You’ll be sure to feel like a grateful little semen demon.

It’s a good thing you’ve got free will, you doubt you’d be this snarky without it. And snark is pretty much most of what makes you, you. That and the suit that the Devil burnt away.

But looking in the mirror and seeing the hot lady still wiggle her tongue about, coiling it near her luscious breasts as her sex glistened. It made you want to do something you’ve always wondered what it would be like.

You get into position…

“Hah! Loohk aht that, ah cahn tuch mah elbow wit mah tongue!” Even when you’re faffing about, your voice purrs seductively.

…

Is your own voice turning you on?

Never mind. You throw your arms in the air victoriously.

“Guess who owes me 20 bucks now, Sallie from fifth grade?!” Speaking of which… “Say, is it possible for me to get Sallie down here to pay me what she owes me?”

The big guy raises an eyebrow.

“I’m all for greed, but money has no real value down here.”

“It’s the principle of the matter!”

“Alright, alright. I’ll call her up. She came in a few years ago after strangling her husband with her daughter’s entrails.” Woah, what the fuck.“Early stage menopause has to be one of my greatest creations yet.”

Of course.

He snaps his fingers and a spire of flames appears before extinguishing itself. There stands a naked woman that bears some resemblance to Sallie. Aaaaaand there’s no vagoo.

“You bitch!”

You point in her direction. She shies away from you, taking in the anger of a lust demon. You show her the trick with the elbow.

“You owe me 20 bucks!”

“Wh-what?” She’s frozen before she looks into your green eyes and realization dawns.

“Oh-oh my…Quinn, is that you?”

She takes in your whole body, from the horns all the way down to your toes, pausing briefly on your breasts and slit.

“You owe me, remember?”

“I-I guess…But I don’t have any means to pay you…”

There was an unspoken ‘in money’ at the end of her phrase.

“She could always pay…in another way. Right, Quinn?” The Devil whispers huskily in your ear.

You feel the woman’s DESIRE wash over you. You suddenly know what she wants, what she finds attractive. Your body responds.

SHLORP

“What the fuck!”

The Devil smiles as he watches on. Sallie is mesmerized by the length in between your leg as it grows steadily larger.

“If you want, I can give her holes back. Or you can make your own.”

You see Sallie with a Hunger in her eyes, moving steadily closer to you. She looks…kinda dumpy.

“Pass.”

“You won’t have a choice later on, but whatever.”

He shrugs as Sallie looks up to you with tears in her eyes.

“I guess she didn’t want to rut you like the bitch you are, Sallie. Look at that, you’re so pitiful, even the lust demon doesn’t want anything to do with you.” He snaps his fingers once more and Sallie disappears in a flash of fire.

Harsh.

Your cock slowly retracts back within.

“What the hell was that about?”

“Being a Lust Demon grants you all the advantages of the incubus and the succubus, except instead of being an attractive man or woman, sexualities change for you. Of course, people still have kinks, and you have minor shapeshifting to remedy that. Case in point:”

He snaps his fingers again and a -hunk- man appears before you. The devil pulls down his glasses for a moment to give you a wink.

The man’s DESIRE washes over you again, filling you with strength and energy, and you feel what he truly wants. Your abdomen swells as your nipples darken, until you’re continuously lactating. The man tries to reach between his legs, but there’s nothing there. Curiously, you fondle your breasts and squeeze your nipples, causing milk to squirt out in obscene amounts.

You feel the man’s DESIRE grow, invigorating you further. The energy felt good. Real good. Teasing him more won’t hurt.

“Ooooh, I’m absolutely stuffed with children.”

Your fingers dance across your swollen abdomen. Your belly swells further.

“I feel like I’m about to pop.” You purr.

The man starts clawing desperately at his empty crotch, eyes tearing up in frustration. The Devil laughs and sends the man on his way.

“You’re getting the hang of this.”

You slowly return to normal.

…Normal?

You mean back to that demon.

“You can still fill contracts, but independently. So, names hold no power for or over you, but should a contract be unfulfilled, it is your soul on the line.” He chuckles. “A lust demon with a soul, that’s quite funny. You’ve got very mundane shapeshifting powers, and you get more base forms the more sapient species you meet.” You raise a finger in question, but he continues onwards.

“YES, you aren’t alone in this universe. Whoopdy-doo. If you think Heaven and Hell only argue about your backwater planet, then you’ve got another thing coming. Anyways, more on your abilities. While you can never break your word, and need to feed on desire, you’ve got very basic shapeshifting. Nothing like what I or other can do, like turn ourselves into inanimate objects. Yours is really limited. You’ll figure it out. And try not to hang out near guys like the one we just met, you will eventually give birth.”

You shudder.

“To what?”

“Anything below you on the pecking order.”

“Pecking order?”

“It goes Me, then Me, then Me, the Fallen, then a bunch of Archdemons, civil servants, War Demons, Insanity Demons, Lust Demons like you, Shoggoths, Incubi, Succubae, Imps, and sometimes Lawyers.”

You don’t wanna be a mama. Yes you do. You ignore that. Thank goodness you could never create civil servants though; you’d never forgive yourself if you did.

“Then you’ve got advanced regeneration, Mid-level Daemon magics, and increased charisma.”

“Lust Demons seem OP”

“Maybe to a former human, but that’s just another day in Hell. Plus, maybe now, they’ll rescind the contract and you’ll be mine.”

“What.”

“Technically, you’ve still got your soul, but you’re a demon. A demon that already has two counts of psychological torture under her belt after just five minutes.”

Motherfucker.

You were considering jumping over to him, straddling him and then ̶ no, no, no.

Jumping over and strangling him. That’s it.

Thankfully, a knock at the door signaled an end to your brief but no doubt perfect plan to assassinate the Prince of Darkness. The Devil scowls and sits back down.

“Come in.”

In came in the personification of beauty. Not sexiness, like you were. Beauty, as in perfection. You couldn’t tell what gender it was, but you were enamored. You felt something heat your face.

Are you blushing? No, no.

Blushing doesn’t involve the fiery pain of a thousand suns.

“It burns, Jesus!” Now your mouth feels like it’s on fire. “Fuck!”

The angel frowns in your direction and you feel sorry for ever cussing in its presence.

“I assume this is Quinn?”

Their voice sounds so beautiful it hurts your ears.

“That is correct. As you can see, she’s a succubus now. She may have her soul, but she tortured two others. She feels right at home.”

“Wrong! This guy rubs me all the wrong ways, and not in a good way wrong way!” You hide behind the angel and a stringing sensations slowly spreads across your body. “Oh GOD it burns! AAAGH IT BURNS EVEN MORE NOW!”

“The Lord has been watching and has deemed the first to be the best of three options. And the second to be a product of self-mutilation as Quinn got used to her…influence.”

You didn’t really mind being called a ‘her’. You had a vagina now, and it made itself quite apparent by how much it constantly leaked. How annoying. What you really did mind was the burning sensation all over you. Other Lust Demons call this effect ‘Angelic Super-Herpes’.

It fits.

“So what will you do, then?” The Devil smiles.

“We are aware that even without her soul, you will attempt to control her wherever you have influence. To make this fair to both parties, it has been deemed that Quinn shall be sent to a plane outside both the influence of you and the Lord.”

The smile falls like another version of you did down the stairs so many realms away. A brief memory, your only memory of you…is it how you died? You’re getting a bit delirious from the pain.

“So be it.”

“Quinn, follow me please.”

“OKAY!”

You follow them because, hey, they may be the microwave to your woefully unprepared calzone, but they’re so beautiful.

“And please, you may burn less in my presence if you put on some clothes.”

“GREAT IDEA!”

A little bit crazy from the pain, and all too desperately, you snapped your fingers and willed your signature suit to reappear. Shadows from nearby rushed towards you and clung to your form, making a tight-fitting female equivalent of your suit to latch onto you. It hung onto your curves perfectly, accentuating both your tits and ass nicely. Slits open up for your big bat wings, but you keep them closed and close to your back. Also, glasses appeared on your face.

“Why do I have glasses?” You whine (Sexily, somehow). “They don’t even have real lenses!”

Obviously, your powers come with a price. A hot business lady price.

You take the glasses off and nibble a temple. Are your lips bigger?

Maybe.

Possibly.

Definitely.

The angel’s presence still hurts, and it seems to be eroding your suit, but the pain is manageable now. They walk over to the elevator and keep it open for you.

“Thank you.”

They smile, and even though it hurts a little bit more, you’d love to see them smile again. Maybe at a bar. Or in your bed…No, no, no! The doors close behind you and the angel takes out a key and turns it in a lock. There’s a lurch and suddenly you’re at floor 200.

Nifty.

The elevator opens up to a spotless white room with a single metal door. The angel walks to the center of the room and turns to look at you.

“We’re very sorry it had to happen to you, Quinn. We know that the Prince has given you a false gift.”

“Not really a gift.”

The angel smiles again. You may have cum in your shadow pants at that.

“I am inclined to agree. Of course, the best I can do is give you my blessing. You still have a soul, after all.” They lean forwards and touch your forehead with their index finger.

It burns terribly for a second, but then it’s gone. Along with constant pain that marked the angel’s presence.

“You are now immune to all but the most powerful Holy magic, akin to a human priest. You need not fear the light, for you walk in God’s grace. You can now heal the wounded and perform other small miracles. Consider it the balance to your low-level Daemon magic.”

Tears of joy run down your face as you hug them. You get an odd feeling having your breasts touch them, but your tail wags, you that must mean your body’s happy. You release the hug and the angel steps towards the door. You discreetly check if your tears are indeed salt water, but tasting them just made your nethers flows even more. Fantastic, you aren’t 60% water, you’re 60% aphrodisiac.

The angel opens the door to an infinite blackness.

“Thank you. So much.”

“It was nothing. Farewell, Quinn.”

You unfurl your wings and flap awkwardly through the doors into the abyss. Just as you fly away, you hear a horn echo from behind you. Before you can question it, you are swept away by nothingness. But the angel heard.

Rapture had begun, all of the messiahs are leading the innocent up to heaven.

Quinn got sent into the Void for no reason.

The angel facepalms in geometrical perfection. Hopefully the paperwork they file won’t be lost in the ensuing chaos. They comfort themself that the lifespan of a succubus is limited to centuries

“It’s a good thing she’s not a Lust Demon. Those harlots are immortal.”