Chapter 4: Is this what I wanted?
Uwaaaa—this feels gooodd. My brain is all mushy mushyyy, and ayee liiike it~~~
I found myself enveloped in an odd sensation, as if caught in a whirlwind of fleeting images and disjointed memories. The experience was disorienting, to say the least. As the chaotic symphony of thoughts settled, a strange awareness took hold.
The surroundings were dark and sloshy, leaving me to guess that I was in my mother's womb. This peculiar experience was undeniably fascinating. My memories were hazy, yet I clung to the understanding that I had been reborn into the world of My Hero Academia with a symbiote from Marvel bonded to me, along with the Great Sage from Tensura. However, the circumstances seemed different from what I expected.
A consciousness that wasn't mine but whispered in the recesses of my mind.
"Hello, host. I am the [Skill: Great Sage]," a voice echoed, smooth and monotonic. I jolted in surprise, or at least what I thought was a jolt, considering my uncertain form.
"Great Sage?" I stammered, or at least I felt like I was stammering. It was all so surreal. Technically, since I'm not born yet, I don't think I was supposed to be able to ‘talk’ to the Great Sage yet.
"Yes, host," the voice responded calmly.
Did something go wrong? Last I checked, barely formed fetuses aren’t supposed to be able to handle a fully grown adult’s consciousness. Why am I feeling like this right now?
“After analyzing the host’s memories, the conclusion has been reached that you are not human.” The Great Sage responded to my thoughts. I didn’t even have to think aloud for The Great Sage to understand me. I knew I made the right choice.
Hold up, what did she say? I’m not human? I don’t think MHA had demons or demi-humans. Wait, wasn’t the principal of UA High an animal with a quirk? Was I born to an animal couple? Does this make me a furry? Wait, that ROB cheated me, didn’t he?! Bastard, I’ll hunt your ass down! Wait that came out wrong! I’ll hunt you till the ends of the multiverse!!!
“Correction; the host is not an animal,” The ever so helpful Great Sage supplied. That brought me back to reality. Don’t tell me, I’m an insect?! “No, host.” Replied the Great Sage, helpfully. Then what am I? Spit it out!
The Great sage replied, “Host is a Klyntar…” The fuck is that?! At least it sounds cool. Wasn’t that the official name of the race of symbiotes? “…’s tumor.” The Great Sage finished.
Eh?
(Third Person POV)
In a realm far, far away…
There sat an old man in his cozy room, wearing hideous wizard robes, making all those who see him, doubt his mental stability. He just got off his oddly modern phone after pacifying the being on the other end that the rude boy was successfully and safely reincarnated.
When he had disappeared while our MC was making his wishes, he was spreading a highly contagious plague on Earth. “The characters in that horrid show seemed eastern, so I think I let it originate there,” he mumbled as our MC unknowingly caused Covid-19.
“Phew, honestly can’t the elderly enjoy their private time in peace?” He says to no one as he picks up the book he was reaching for in the previous chapter. As he starts reading the book, sitting in his chair, you can hear faint words being said. “Yes… very nice…. Ohh under the headmaster’s desk? Spicy…. Snape as well? You cheeky first year… ohh the front panel slides open? DIY 10/10…. She is definitely getting an O+ at the end of the year…. The other teachers are waiting outside the door? Even the Gargoyle who guards the entrance?!!”
BANG BANG BANG
“FBI open up!!”
(Sorry, audio readers)
BOOM POWPOW WHAM KAKAWWW ZOOM BANG BANG BOOM BAM BLAM SLAM DAMN ZOOOOM NIAOW DANG DANG CLANG CLINK CLINCK RATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA KABLAM ZHAM BANG BANG KAKAWWW KAKAWWW RATATATATATATATATATA PEW PEW BOOOOM
“Kyaaaaa!” Needless to say, that last one was from our very own ROB.
(MC POV)
I refused to accept it. No, no, no! This can't be right. I'm not some alien entity’s tumor. I'm your friendly neighborhood nobody! I had dreams!
I felt a strange emptiness, a void that seemed to stretch beyond my understanding. I don't want this. I want to go back. And did symbiotes even get tumors?
The Great Sage responded, a sound that echoed through my blobby existence. "You can't go back, host. But after analyzing your memories, I have formulated your most probable status. The host’s current form is behaving as if a core, and is surrounded by the Kylntar’s biomass. A very unusual situation as Klyntars are never depicted with cores and given how it serves no purpose to the mass other than syphoning essential nutrients from it, firmly establishes your status as a tumor.”
I felt like un-aliving myself then and there. But how? No fan to swing from, no knife to tattoo with and no wrists to act as a canvas. Why are we even here? Just to suffer? Is there even a way for me to at least gain a proper humanoid form? Humanity is overrated anyway…. “Yes,” The Great Sage replied. Fantastic! From now on, you’ll be named Sage. I remember a mutant from the comics who was called that and was a telepath under Professor X.
I submitted to reality. What do I need to do? The Great Sage's voice rang for the final time once again. "You must find a body, one that is perfectly compatible."
I couldn't help but add a dramatic flair to my blobby existence. Oh, the suspense! I've always dreamed of being a matchmaker for symbiotes and bodies. Move aside, Cupid, Symbiote-Matchmaker-Man is in town!
The Great Sage responded with its usual monotone calmness. "This is a crucial task, host. Take it seriously."
Oh, I'm dead serious, I replied, or at least, I think I replied. Without vocal cords or a mouth, it's hard to tell. But seriously, can't we have a little fun with it? Maybe throw in a dating show or a compatibility quiz? The Great Sage, ever the serious entity, didn't share my enthusiasm. "This is a matter of survival, not entertainment.”
Well, excuse me for trying to lighten the mood in this blob-filled darkness, I mentally retorted, mentally crossing my non-existent arms. Alright, Sage, lead the way. Let's find me a body that screams 'symbiote chic.' I’m usually not like this but in an unfamiliar situation I get defensive, passive-aggressive and fall back on ill-attempted humor.
And so, my blobby adventure began, guided by the ever-so-serious Sage, as I embarked on the quest to find the perfect host. As we trudged through the darkness, moving about like a snail’s feet, I couldn't help but think, who said being a tumor couldn't have its advantages? A sane person that’s who. Since merely experiencing this form is enough to crack the toughest of wills as our minds are quite frankly not made for such form of existence.
(A/N: Yay! We hit 10k views and 100+ collections on WebNovel in 2 days. Show me that you all are better than them!)
{POLL CLOSED! Well, that's unfortunate. 17 for yes and 21 for no. Combined SH and WN for the total votes. So, ya! No lewd specific fic unfortunately. Even if I do write one in the future, it won't be posted here.}
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Yes Votes: 10 35.7%
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No Votes: 18 64.3%
Ima drop here because mc is too much a dumbass and the story is just going downhill in 4 chapters smh
You need to cut back on the frequency of dialogue tags. It's a one on one conversation with clearly defined speach patterns, so "the great sage _ed" isn't really needed most of the time. Pretty sure that's why people usually put the system voice in brackets anyway.
Thanks! I'll look into making the dialogues more reader friendly... Hmm, I'll edit the posted chapters once the intro arc is over and I'll make it better!
Hope to see you at the bottom of my chapters in the future!
For now I don't know how the story will develop, but up to the moment or this "introduction", it felt like a compilation of memes, topics and cliched jokes and exaggerations that, some were funny and others directly take the reader out of the narrative.
No idea what the next chapters will be like, but for now that's my impression.
I suspect perfect host is momo, with her quirk, if mixed with power of symbiote could get interesting, being able generate anything they want,
@Chaddts All right let me tell you something here bruv. We aren’t doctors and neither are we philosophers. You are digging a hole in a perfectly fine garden with the excuse of moving to the other side but hoping to find bones. Either you stay and read the upcoming chapters or leave. So unless you find some sick pleasure in picking apart newbie authors works, you are free to dip. You are fixed on the semantics which prevent you from focusing on the story and enjoying it for what it is. An experience. I’m willing to be cordial with you if you extend the same courtesy. So wait until the answers are revealed to you. Just like all the other readers.
When I saw this on the front page, you had my interest. Now that I've read your story, you have my arous-*ahem* attention~
Aww, I ran out of chapters....
..so, he's bonding to a chick, right? (If so, Noice!)
lol, good to know. And I'll be updating at least 2 chapters per day until the intro arc is over which sets his long-term goals, meeting romantic interest, etc., which would be between chap 10 to 15. So keep your notifications on :)
Although the idea of bonding to a hot chick is wonderful, it's also overused by pure smut fics with only one exception that I know of. So, no bonding to hot chicks. I would have put 'Forced Cohabitation' in the list of tags then. Hope I see you at the bottom of my chapter in the future!!
@RottenPizza I can't read it because it's innacurate and the wording fails the setup.
1. the m.c asks if he would be a baby, and while not defined, a tumor isn't something that's considered conscious let alone a baby.
2. He wished for the perfect BODY. A tumor isn't a body, it's a tumor. This alone makes the story unreadable. It's really a bummer and ruins the entire story out of the gate.
3. He pissed the god off and made 0 wishes to avoid the obvious pitfalls. For instance the perfect BODY wish is far too open to interpretation of what kind of body is perfect. I would have been worried of the obvious gender and species changes. Like becoming a dog or a cat. Or worse a pig. Him being vague with the wording is just asking for trouble. Everyone knows not to fall for the monkeys paw.
4. He gets no payment after services are rendered. The bargaining is really rough. I would have at least assured my souls next adventure afterwards. He could have made a wish for "after his next death" etc etc.
5. Too little testing was done with the wish I meter. No where near enough to be considered a min-max player. He needs to to figure out how everything is weighed and okay with wordings or exceptions for lowering to cost. For example he could wish for powers that only work on aggressors. Perhaps that would lower the cost?? Well we don't know we didn't get to see him even try to figure it out at all.
@Chaddts Thank you for that! It's really detailed, and I appreciate you taking your time to put this together.
So, let's see:
About point 1.) The current status of why he's a tumor is explained in the chap which I'm writing right now (Chap 8) So I hope it's cleared when and if you read that.
Point 2.) The thing about the perfect body is again spoken about in chap 9... which I'll try to pump out by tonight. The prefix 'perfect' is deliberately used and you'll see it if and when you read that chapter.
Point 3.) Yes, he has pissed of ROB but that's a character flaw as explained in this very chapter.
I'm usually not like this but in an unfamiliar situation I get defensive, passive-aggressive and fall back on ill-attempted humor.
the consequence is also seen in the future, and it is hinted at in the last para of the previous chapter (chap 3) as well.
As for which kind of body is perfect, the very next words in the same wish answer that question- "and suits 'my' symbiote the best." So, although it might sound vague, it actually isn't.
Point 4.) Yes, it's my fault for not explaining that correctly and I'm going to go on an editing spree when I finish the Intro arc. But let me explain that: - MC died and he's getting another chance to live. He needs to do the job assigned to him. He is going to get pushed beyond the natural limits of humans while doing the job (500 years). And the compensation for doing the job is the new life he's been given. The payment for pushing past the normal human limits is the wishes (to help him get comfortable).
I'll clear it up in the future.
Point 5.) Yes, in hindsight, that chapter was not done properly. I had an idea going in but the more I typed, the more I felt that the readers would not want to read about some guy rambling and just reincarnate already. I'm not experienced enough to know how to fix this issue but when I'm editing it in the future, I'll make sure to have a second opinion looking over my shoulder.
Thank you for pointing out all the inconsistencies in my work. The fact that you couldn't get what I wished to convey clearly shows my lack of experience in this regard. I'll do my best in the upcoming chapters and try to improve my craft.
Hope you stick around and in the future when you read my work and see a difference; you'll be glad that it was positive.
@RottenPizza point 3 just got much worse actually. you can't be a symbiote to a tumor that is essentially yourself. He is a klyntars tumor so he has no body of his own at all. This fails the wish entirely. The wish needs to meet all the conditions as best as it can. The prefix AND is far more important than you are giving it weight. The wish has to accomplish all of those aspects. The symbiote also needs to attach to something else to be actually be a symbiote. Currently he is a parasite to the symbiote. He has no symbiote at all which fails his wish for the symbiote.
I get you're trying to do the monkeys paw thing and not make it obvious, bit in doing so, you lied to the readers. I could probably tear apart a large majority of the wishes based on the way they are granted, and if it took you nine chapters to figure out an explanation, it sounds like you wrote yourself into a corner and are trying to find a reasonable explanation.
@RottenPizza I also feel like you feel into the trapping of adding a character flaw. I see this a lot in Isekai, and it's really odd to see these drastic out of place character flaws that are either there to add tension which falls into the cliche- 'Stupid for tension'= plot convenience.
Or it's there to show "Character growth".
Both are bad in Isekai.
The first is bad because it's painful to read about idiots. But I understand it's hard to write a good story with a smart cautious m.c that doesn't feel like Mary Sue.
The second is bad because it's an Isekai. Character growth should be minimal in an Isekai. Especially adult Isekai's It would take humongously impactful events to truly change a grown persons character. People don't change very much after becoming adults. Our personalities are rather set in stone after 5 years old. You can look this up in child phycology.
The person would be far more impacted by the corruption their newfound powers bring than the events in the second world unless they are truly traumatizing.
@Chaddts and point 4 I have an issue with... The wishes are his tools to do the job, not his reward for the job.
And another life for 500 years of constant work sounds like 500 years of work.
Why didn't he get reincarnated as the bottom of the Marianas trench as an immortal starfish or coral or something long lived and out of harms way? I mean that may just be the easiest, most assured way of living to see the end of the story and takes no effort at all.
@Chaddts The definition of a symbiote is to help the host and the host would help it as well. A relationship of mutual benefit. It’s not a symbiote to a tumor as you see that in the next chapter (chap5) he switches hosts frequently since not all bodies are fit to host a symbiote. An arm does not loose its qualifications as one just because it’s no longer connected to a body. Similarly just because a symbiote is not in a body does not disqualify it as one. The wish was ‘Symbiote bound to me’ not to the MC’s body but to the entity known so far as ‘MC’. But to further survive, the symbiote requires a host which is fulfilled with wish of a ‘perfect body which is suitable to my symbiote’. That wish makes his body the ideal host for ‘his’ symbiote. And don’t say that I lied to my readers. It’s insulting. What do I even gain from doing so? The most I would accept is that I lack the skill to make the readers understand what I mean. And I’m working on that. Before I published my first chapter, I had the plot line of the first 15 chaps ready and just needed fleshing out(which is the tough part for me). I am posting as I complete the chapters but all the major points of interest are pre-planned. I have yet to experience writing myself into a corner and I don’t plan on it happening anytime soon.
@Chaddts The tool to do the job is the partial immortality(he won’t die unless killed) In the next chapter the symbiote is running around for a better host since the symbiote does not share his partial immortality. It exists as long as the host exists in an ideal situation but the MC is not the host. Sage calls him as such since it’s the most accurate thing to call him in his current state by Sage(she has examined his memories and know that he won’t like master- kinda SI part from the title comes in here). He’s not a shell in the bottom of the Mariana Trench as it has to do with the person ROB was talking to on his phone. And with what I’m planning, even down there is not safe(Right now still in planning stage but it has something to do with the love interest and would prolly be in arc2 or 3)
@RottenPizza an arm is an arm. A tumor is a tumor. You wouldn't call a perfect body a tumor. Nor did he wish to develop, find, or for the ability to make the perfect body. The perfect body is done and granted the same as the other wishes in whole and it's entirety.
And am arm is only that an arm. Just like a tumor isn't capable of holding a consciousness neither is an arm capable of being a body.
The definition of "body" requires all the component parts to be met. You can believe him whatever body you desire, but it must be a "whole" organism, capable of supporting his consciousness.
Making his consciousness work while a tumor, means his mind is being supported by a wish he did not make.
And he wished for a symbiote...yet he can't use the symbiote. He can't even have a symbiotic relationship with the symbiote.
Also, as a tumor he isn't a separate organism at all...
He is a tumorous PART... He is a parasite upon a symbiote he cannot use. That doesn't meet any standard of BODY possible.
Now maybe is you replace "body" with "vessel" you could get away with this whole tumor thing.
You would also have to fix the cost of the body wish. It being cheap, yet being able to hold the consciousness of a person is asking a lot of a tumor.
*Munches on popcorn while watching*
@RottenPizza also how does the klyntars tumor live longer than the klyntar itself if he is dependant on it? Is the defing line of long life the tumous dmz or something? Some immortal tumor supported by a not immortal klyntar?
@RottenPizza and perfect body for the symbiote is exactly that. A BODY. Not a container for the soul. At the moment the tumor is no different from a lichs phylactory. A tumor does not meet and definition of "Body" even a virus could complete the definition of "Body" better than a tumor can. I just can't accept a tumor as fulfilling the wish for "Body" and certainly not perfect body for my symbiote.
While he may not be in that perfect body, the perfect body would still be there just as the symbiote was when he awoke.
@RottenPizza how does great sage search his memories? Either it's connected to him OR the symbiote. How it connected to both? I get great sage is supose to serve him while residing in the symbiote and the wording is exceedingly careful, but I have no.memeoru of great sage talking outside of rimuru's body without atleast the takeover thing, and in that case, does the tumorous m.c have ears?
And where the hell is his brains at to do the searching? Don't tell me great sage is soul searching his memories from inside the klyntar, (apparently tumors are separate organisms). On multiple levels this makes no sense. Even with the binding to serve him, there is no line of communication set up.
@Johnwolfie435 Sigh, got some for me? All this facepalm-ing 🤦♂️ can really make a kid hungry. Welp, if man put half the effort he's putting here into actually making his own works fun, it'd have more than 30k views. He's got no patience.
@Chaddts Sigh, you answered yourself when you said that a tumor is a part of the symbiote. I refer to it as a separate entity solely because of the presence of a consciousness. And since the tumor is anatomically a part of the symbiote, the Sage who has taken the place of the original consciousness has a direct line to it. Bruv the more you try to justify your superiority, and that my work is faulty, the more you loose the ability to enjoy what’s in front of you. And I’m still cordial. Yet I haven’t seen a single lick of an apology for insulting me in all your theories of how I’m a failure of an author. Other than your initial assessment and listing out the discrepancies you have found in my work, everything else is a cock measuring contest. So thank you. And goodbye.
@RottenPizza feel free to look for continuity errors. I know I may sound like a jackass, but I wouldn't be commenting if I didn't like the setup. I just wouldn't read it at all nor comment at all.
The only reason I comment is because it had all the workings of what could be really good, but these little issues tainted it. I am stickler for rules, and here i felt like I was duped as the reader. If body can translate to tumor, what other crazy things can happen?
And 30k views is great for a first work. Even after all the petty review bombing, and the poor quality of earlier writing. Combined with me taking the spring and summer months off, I think I did well enough.
@RottenPizza if he's part of the symbiote, he never got his own body at all. That means either the wish isn't granted at all. Or the body is missing. If it's missing it could be in dimension or put into the middle of a sun.
At that point everything is contrived without rhyme or reason, and there is no reason to try because it doesn't matter, and gods will just f*ck with you cause they can.
@RottenPizza and patience? I have written over 150k in a Dragonball fanfic and I'm not even at demon king piccolo yet. In any case good luck. In terribly sorry that I found the twist to the wishes inaccurate in regards to the wording.
@Chaddts Again! Bruv if you hadn’t been pinging me all this time I already would be writing chap 9 where his body comes into play and I could shove that down you gullet. Seriously dude. And yes the Gods will just f*ck with you cause they can. I mean you’re in my comment section.
@Chaddts Ya DBZ does that. That universe’s power scaling is all kinds of messed up. Terrible choice for a first fic but hey, at least you’re confident.
@Chaddts Patience my face!!!! Wait for the intro arc to get over for crying out loud. Then let’s see if you find any twists. The reason his state is so pitiful at the moment was supposed to be a gag moment and kinda legit comedy but I’m nowhere with the right mindset to write it now. And I was supposed to be finished with it by now 😭
@Chaddts Dragon ball? f*ck that jazz, I'd never be able to write a shounen based fic
@Chaddts look at what you did to our poor author! **Slowly pulls out huge ass,Dark Soul boss sword from behind my back**
Gods gotta have rules with mortals or the stakes become idk meaningless? Ehh, the helplessness of mortals who attract the ire of a GOD, leaves it as either the god already knowing the future, or something capable of fixing himself since he can influence mortals. It makes for an unfair story that can go in any direction on a whim without any kind of grounding. It makes the m.c's actions seem to have less meaning I guess. And that's just personal taste. I don't like the idea of a BIG G messing with mortals just because they can. It makes the gods look petty and their machinations childish. That in turns ruins the image of what a BIG G should be. Usually this is solved by making those big gods unable to f*ck with mortals or atleast extend their power to the mortal plane. Even cultivation novels do this where the stronger they are the more the world presses down on them restricting them. It's done to keep the stakes more exciting, it opens possibilities, and stops the audience from asking, "Why didn't he just do this?" Or "Why didn't she do that?"
@Johnwolfie435 I'm sorry! I really like this, but I can't make heads or tails of the rules and things seem written in sand, and that's too wishy washy.
@RottenPizza I'm sorry... If it's any consolation chapter 53 of my work is at 993 words and is stuck as well.
@Johnwolfie435 the amount of db, and DBZ research I have done is in-f*cking-sane. Currently I'm tracking down all the folklore that inspired Mr. Popo's character so that I can make a convincing backstory by drawing from it.
@Chaddts 💀