“And then he said, ‘I’m offering you the choice to come back home on your own two feet because I respect you as a brother.’,” Uriel told Sloane, his voice deepening to a low growl when he tried to mimic Michael’s voice. “And then I said, ‘If you truly respect me as a brother, you’ll let me live my own life.’.”

“Hmm…interesting,” Sloane commented passively. “From what I’ve heard, your two brothers sound like a pain in the ass. Not as much of a pain in the ass as Lucille and the others, but still, a pain in the ass.”

Currently, Uriel was in the kitchen of Meridiana’s apartment, cooking food for Glenda to eat. During these couple of days, Glenda was working hard on collecting as many virginities as possible in order to catch up in the competition, which was putting a lot of stress on her. Since Glenda usually relieves stress by eating, Uriel had made it his mission to cook large amounts of delicious food every day for her to eat as a way of supporting her. Even though Uriel started out as kind of an amateur when it came to cooking, he’d soon gotten better and better at it over time, to the point where he’s probably good enough to work at a typical restaurant. 

As Uriel was cooking in the kitchen, he’d recounted the events of his encounter with his two estranged brothers to Sloane, who was listening to the story over at the living room while playing Mario Kart 8 Deluxe on the television screen. As she was playing, the official good boi Gerbert was sleeping on her lap, his fur snuggly and warm as always. 

“Yeah, tell me about it,” Uriel replied with a sigh. “The way they try to be so controlling towards every aspect of my life just grates on me. I’m telling you, if I never see any of my family members for the rest of my life, I think I’m perfectly fine with it. I don’t care if I’m the pariah of the Angelo family.”

“Wait a minute…” Sloane said, suddenly realizing something in her sleepy head as she dropped her controller and rushed towards the kitchen counter, facing Uriel with a curious gaze. “You said that one of your brothers’ names is Michael, right?”

“Uhh… yeah,” Uriel replied awkwardly, not getting where Sloane was going with this. 

“And your family name is Angelo?”

“Yeah.”

Sloane’s eyes widened. “Does that mean…your brother’s full name is Michael Angelo? Is…is he…a ninja turtle?”

Uriel gave Sloane a deadpan stare. No, it wasn’t just a deadpan stare; it was the most deadpan of all deadpan stares. It was a pan so dead that not even the down feathers of a phoenix could revive it.

Placing a firm hand on Sloane’s shoulder, Uriel stared at her with the straightest face he could muster. “Yes, Sloane. My brother, Michael, is actually a ninja turtle,” he said blankly. “He lives in the sewers, eats pizza, wields nunchucks, and has a giant sentient rat as his sensei.”

Sloane gasped, her eyes practically sparkled with childhood delight and wonder. “Reeeally?” she asked. Then, Uriel flicked his finger on her forehead, causing her to flinch slightly in pain. “Oww!”

“No! Of course not! I wish my brother was that cool!” Uriel clarified. 

“Aww…” Sloane whined in supreme disappointment before returning back to her game.

A moment later, Meridiana came by to the kitchen to see all the food Uriel had made, the dishes of which almost filled the entire dining table. Seeing the gigantic portions of food he’d cooked up, one might think that he’s preparing a celebratory feast. But given Glenda’s enormous appetite, this might as well be a snack for her. 

“Wow, you’ve made all this just for Glenda? I’m impressed,” Meridiana said in her usual dry tone. “Though it’s missing some food that could be more nutritionally beneficial for her.”

“What do you mean? This is what she usually eats, isn’t it?” Uriel asked.

“That's what she usually eats when she’s in front of humans,” Meridiana pointed out. “A demon’s biology is quite different from a human’s in many ways, one of which is their nutritional intake. There are certain nutrients in demon food that aren’t typically found in human food. Granted, demons aren’t exactly going to die from malnutrition, but even a small change in their diet could lead to considerable changes in a demon’s physical and mental well-being, which in turn affects their overall sexual performance.”

“Really? Hmm…interesting,” Uriel said as he pondered deeply. All this time, he thought he simply needed to cook large amounts of good-tasting food in order to make Glenda happy. He didn’t realize that there could be more complex intricacies to her diet than what it first appeared. “Well, is there anything I can do to help? Maybe I can prepare some demon food for her.”

“Glenda is already taking supplements to combat those nutritional deficiencies, though she often neglects taking them, saying that she dislikes them because they don’t feel like eating ‘real’ food to her,” Meridiana explained. “She could just simply cook actual demon food for herself to eat, but since she’s so busy with the competition, she doesn’t do it that often on account of it being a bit too inconvenient for her. I would prepare her some demon food from time to time, though I’m busy with my own work as well. I can teach you how to make some demon food if you like. Be warned, though; preparing demon food is a bit more difficult than preparing human food.”

“Why? Is it dangerous?” Uriel asked with a sense of dread. 

“Not exactly, though I can’t guarantee you won’t lose a couple of fingers along the way,” Meridiana said, her nonchalance towards such a gruesome prospect somehow made Uriel feel even more afraid. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” She padded Uriel reassuringly on the shoulder. “I’ll be there to properly guide you every step of the way. I’ll make sure that you’ll keep all your fingers by the end of it.”

Uriel chuckled nervously. “Umm…alright.”

“Great. Let’s get started,” Meridiana said with a slight smile.

After heading to a secret storage room to retrieve some ingredients, Meridiana returned to the kitchen with a large basket. Inside the basket, Uriel could see what appeared to be a bundle of strange-looking eels. They have grayish-brown skin that’s patterned with a mixture of yellow and red spots. Their mouths had a set of sharp-looking teeth that protrude out the edges of their lips, creating a terrifying display that seemed like something straight out of a horror movie.

When Uriel saw what he was about to handle, his face paled with immense fright. Forget about being eaten; it’s more likely that these eels are about to eat Uriel instead.

“These are brimstone eels. They’re a popular delicacy in Hell, one that’s also packed with nutrients,” Meridiana explained as she casually picked up one of the eels as if it’s no big deal. As she held it up, the eel wiggled energetically in her hand, its liveliness a good indication of its freshness. “A basic and simple dish that’s also quite delicious if prepared right. Should be easy enough for a beginner like you.”

Uriel chuckled nervously. “Uhh…I’m sorry. I thought we were preparing ‘food’, not ‘spawns of a Xenomorph’.”

Meridiana glared at him with a hint of irritation. “Look, do you want to cook demon food for Glenda or not? If you’re too scared to do this, you can call it quits now. I’m not gonna force you.”

Uriel swallowed a lump in his throat, trying to muster all the courage he could from within him. “No, no, I want to do this. I can handle it.”

Meridiana gave him a skeptical look. “Alright, then. Watch and learn.”

---

After some practice, Uriel had finally made a decently edible plate of brimstone eels, which he then proceeded to bring into Glenda’s room. During the cooking process, Uriel had gotten his fingers bitten several times by the eels as he’s trying to prepare them. It turned out that brimstone eels were quite the bitey-type. Even though their bite wasn’t particularly strong, it still left him with an array of tiny puncture wounds all over his hands. As a result, several of his fingers were wrapped with bandages due to those wounds. 

Even after all this, he still didn’t know whether his dish would be suitable for Glenda’s palette. Guess there’s only one way to find out.

As he entered the room, he could see Glenda talking on the phone, casually chatting with one of her potential virgin targets. Additionally, placed inside the room was some sort of magical white board—one that’s littered with holographic charts, graphs, and other data detailing the progress Glenda had made in the competition. 

For something as obscene as having sex with virgins, there’s a surprising amount of math involved. When you break it down into its most fundamental parts, sex is ultimately a game of numbers and data, similar to many other fields of study. Every aspect of the process can be distilled into a quantifiable parameter: the concentration of virgins within each specific area, the likelihood that a virgin is going to sleep with Glenda, the distribution of Glenda’s promiscuous sexual reputation throughout campus, etc. All these factors contribute to the bottom line, which is the total number of virginities obtained.

“What am I wearing?” Glenda said over the phone as she paced around the room, her tone flirty and lustful. “Hmm, that’s a good question. But a better question would be: what am I not wearing?” As Glenda teased the guy over the phone, she would giggle and moan—all in an effort to seduce whoever’s on the other side of the phone call. “Why don’t we meet up and find out together? Maybe over at lunch?…Tomorrow sounds good…Alright, I’ll meet you there. Bye-bye.” Afterwards, she hung up the phone and let out a huge sigh, both of relief and of exhaustion.

As the days went by, Uriel kind of had a good grasp at Glenda’s process in seducing virgins. For some virgins, it was a no-brainer. To have a chance to get laid by one of the hottest girls on campus was something almost every college virgin would die for. For other virgins…not so much. They’ll want to get to know Glenda a bit more, maybe over a dinner or two—even with the knowledge that it’s going to end in a one-night stand and not lead into a long-term relationship. Some people just like to be teased before doing the deed.

“Doing well in the competition so far?” Uriel asked.

“Yeah, I’m getting by,” Glenda said, her voice lacking some of the usual upbeat cheeriness that it once had. 

Uriel could tell that this increased workload was starting to drain her mentally. For Glenda, sex was work. Even though it was work that she enjoyed, it was still work nonetheless. Even for people out there who truly enjoy their work with all their heart, it could still feel exhausting to do it from time to time, especially if it’s being done to meet a certain quota. And because of the situation she’s in right now, she cannot afford to slow down. And so, she would continue pressing onward into getting those virginities, even if she’s at the brink of burnout. 

It’s similar to how a regular worker would struggle to get up to work on a typical Monday morning. Or how a Scribble Hub writer would struggle to crank out chapter after chapter on a story to support a Patreon that’s barely making him any money. That feeling was just so unbearably, soul-crushingly tiring. 

“Well, I think I know just the thing to help cheer you up,” Uriel said as he presented her his homemade plate of brimstone eels.

As soon as Glenda saw the plate, she immediately gasped with delight as her eyes lit up like fireworks. “Brimstone eels?! Oh my God, they’re one of my favorites!”

“Yeah, and I was the one who cooked them,” Uriel said proudly. “Meridiana taught me how to make them. She mentioned something about demons having different nutritional requirements from humans and whatnot. And so I figured I might as well learn how to make more nutritious demon food for you, hoping to help you out a bit more, you know?”

“Aww…you are such a sweetheart! Come here!” Glenda pulled Uriel into a deep, passionate kiss. Then, she started noticing his bandaged fingers. “Wait, what happened to your hands?”

“Oh, you know…” Uriel mumbled embarrassingly. “...it turns out that brimstone eels can be pretty ferocious biters. Who knew?”

“Aww…you risked all that just to make this for me? You shouldn’t have,” Glenda said. Feeling guilty and sympathetic towards her boyfriend, she held his hands tenderly before peppering them with a bunch of sweet, gentle kisses.

“Hey, I don’t mind it,” Uriel said with a shrug. “Besides, it’s all worth it. As long as I can feed you delicious food and make you happy, it’s all worth it.”

“Oh, Uriel…” Glenda pulled Uriel towards her for another strong, heated kiss.

“Go on. Give it a try,” Uriel urged, handing her the plate of eels. “See if my skill in cooking demon food is any good.”

After they both took a seat on the edge of the bed, Glenda picked out one of the eels from the plate and took a bite of it, relishing its taste in her mouth.

“Mmm…it’s delicious!” Glenda moaned as she chewed. “Definitely the best brimstone eel I’ve ever tasted!”

Uriel looked at her with a raised eyebrow. “Really? Even better than Meridiana’s? Better than all the other brimstone eels you’ve had that were cooked by literal demon chefs? I highly doubt it. You’re just saying that to make me feel better, aren’t you?”

“Well, your eels have something that the other eels don’t: the flavor of love,” Glenda said with a cute smile.

Uriel rolled his eyes. “Glenda, I think you’re overestimating the power of love in terms of making food taste better. There’s a limit on what it can do. It's not going to turn shit into caviar.”

“Uriel, I am willing to eat a literal pile of shit as long as it is made by you.”

“Umm…please don’t. I don’t want you to get sick.”

“Demons can’t get sick. At least, not by eating shit.”

“Well, then, uhh…please don’t do it anyway. Because, you know, general hygiene and common sense.”

Glenda giggled before happily finishing the rest of Uriel’s brimstone eels. As Glenda ate, Uriel watched her with a warm smile, knowing that he was able to uplift her spirits, even for just a little while. 

---

And so, with the added motivation from Uriel, Glenda continued going around campus collecting virginities, now with higher spirits than ever. 

Currently, she was chatting up a random college guy at the food court while they were eating lunch. During that interaction, Glenda was putting all sorts of moves on her target, doing things like placing her hand on top of his and rubbing her legs against his underneath the table. In desperate times like these, she didn’t mind going for a bolder and more aggressive approach when it came to her flirtations, so long as she could get those virgins in bed with her as quickly as possible. 

Unfortunately, as Glenda was flirting with that guy, she just so happened to be spotted by Michael and Gabriel. Right now, the two brothers were seated at a table a good distance away from Glenda so that they were able to see her without being seen themselves. In addition, they were now wearing common everyday clothing instead of their usual priest robes—along with headwear to cover their prominent white hair—making them even less noticeable amongst the crowd. 

“That…bitch!” Gabriel whispered harshly, his face contorted with anger and disgust as he saw Glenda blatantly flirting with another guy in broad daylight. “That girl is cheating on our Uriel! Isn’t she supposed to be Uriel’s girlfriend?! Man, I thought she was a nice girl when we first met! But now she’s hooking up with some other guy like it was nothing! Our little bro is getting cuckolded and he doesn’t even know it!”

“My instincts told me that there is something not quite right with this woman,” Michael said, his voice remaining deep and calm—even when witnessing a shocking truth such as this. “It seems I was right after all.”

“What should we do next, Mike? Should we confront her about it?” Gabriel asked.

“No. Let’s just keep an eye on her for a bit longer,” Michael decided. “Take photo evidence of her act along the way. Then, we’ll show those photos to Uriel—see how he reacts to it. After that, we’ll let him handle this on his own. If Uriel is as mature and independent as he claims to be, he should be given the chance to deal with this by himself.”

Gabriel let out a sigh. “Alright, then. We’ll do it your way.” He then shook his head with worry. “Man, I hate to break it to Uriel like that, but he needs to know the truth. Better for him to hear it from us than to have his heart broken later on, right?” He then took out his phone and snapped a couple of photos of Glenda flirting with that other guy—doing so in such a way as to be as inconspicuous as possible, like a ninja paparazzi.

Michael narrowed his eyes as he glared at Glenda with a fierce indignance. To think that Uriel would attach himself to such an unfaithful woman—and to do so shortly after running away from home, no less. Slowly but gradually, he’d come to regret his decision in letting Uriel run off by himself. His younger brother was in desperate need of guidance and he’s going to be the one to provide it to him. No matter what, he will do everything in his power to keep Uriel safe.