After a little more banter between Korwen and Ruben, the latter decided to go and check up on Will, leaving Korwen, Karen and me alone.
The very moment we were alone, Korwen leaned back and let out a huge sigh, closing his eyes.
“Captain, is everything okay?”
“Nothing’s okay, Yumi. Nothing. Hell, I am exhausted and tired, I just wanted to get work over with quickly and now here I am. Couldn’t they have come tomorrow? Or rather, couldn’t they have come at all?”
“Ahahaha…”
I could only let out a dry laugh as he started venting.
“But it’s also such a good opportunity… Ugh…”
Korwen started to massage the bridge of his nose as he groaned and shook his head.
“The kingdom has plenty of treasures which could be a real boon for us. Or rather, the military has. Magical research and weapon technology are tremendously valuable and just as much of a secret. On the other hand, we could also demand invaluable magical tools, on the level of the capital’s barrier.”
“Nn, there are more tools like that?”
“Of course. Not necessarily a tool like that barrier, which he would never give up, but many others. But as powerful as they are, they are national treasures. That’s why it could be a good idea to ask for such a thing. Mm…”
National treasures… Made me wonder what those tools could do.
“Mm… We still have to clear up the question of the spoils as well…”
“The spoils?”
“If we were to fight those worshippers, what happens to their belongings? It’s common sense that the ones who fought acquire the spoils of their battle but you do sometimes have people that say afterwards that we never agreed to that and demand those spoils. I know Will wouldn’t do that but it’s still safer to make it clear.”
“Nn… I see…”
“The worshippers, in particular, might have some strange tools and it’s not often you get the chance to fight them. But, most people don’t want to fight them anyway.”
They didn’t want to fight them? Well, most people would probably like to avoid fighting in general but that wasn’t what he meant, probably.
“Why not?”
“The Worshippers are… brutal. They do not fight with conventional methods. Poison, bombs, traps. They’re troublesome, to say the least. And they don’t shy away from attacking and killing non-combat personnel.”
“... Poison?”
“Poison. You know, the stuff that makes you feel all bad and might even kill you if left untreated.”
No, I knew what poison was.
“I was more like... Nn, a little surprised.”
“Surprised, huh.”
“Nn… But isn’t that really dangerous then?”
After all, poison was hard to deal with, wasn’t it?
“Dangerous… Mhm, well, they are. But it’s not like we can’t deal with them. Arrows coated in poison can be blocked by shields, after all. And most melee weapons have to get through your armour first.”
“Nn? So… They aren’t a problem?”
“The local poisons shouldn’t be. Unless they bring something out that they acquired from far away, but that’s doubtful. Of course, not getting poisoned in the first place is still the best option.”
Huh… Local poisons… So, poisons that were made with local ingredients?
“The most likely one would be Moonseed Poison, I guess?”
“Moonseed Poison?”
What an odd name. Was it made from a seed?
“Ah, I know that one.”
“Nn? You do, Sis?”
“Yes. I heard that it’s used for hunting.”
“That’s right. It’s a common poison for hunting. It paralyses and a large enough amount can kill you. Animals that were hunted that way can still be eaten so it’s quite popular and the tree is often grown on purpose for the bark. It’s mostly useless on monsters, however, and magicians can treat it easily, too.”
“Huh…”
A hunting poison… But why was it fine to eat those poisoned animals? Was it maybe fine to eat it but it was dangerous if it got into your blood?
“Anyway, while they use some troublesome methods for fighting, it’s not like they can compete against professionals. Their general fighting abilities tend to be low. They can’t stand up to mercenaries and trained soldiers. The actual problem is… that woman.”
“...”
Yumelia, huh…
“We have no information about her capabilities at all outside of the stunt she pulled here. What we do know is that she avoided conflict when the Elder interfered… Mhm… But she simply might have been unwilling to play her cards there…”
I took a sip from the ale that I had barely touched until now while Korwen continued to mumble to himself.
“Yumi.”
“Nn?”
“That… explosion you did back there. Can you repeat that?”
“Nn… I can but… it probably uses a lot of mana so…”
“That’s fine. Can you also do it remotely?”
“I… don’t think so? Not that I tried.”
I could only manipulate the mana close to me, after all. If the mana crystal left my reach, there was nothing I could do.
“I see. But that’s good enough for now.”
Did he want to blow them up?
“Mr Captain, are you thinking of accepting it?”
“I am. The reward is enticing, after all. The gold reward is quite lacking but I already have some ideas for that wish. Also, if we keep the spoils… Hahaha, with a little luck we can get some rather nice things into our hands. It’s a good opportunity.”
Was it a good opportunity? Well, I had no idea what kind of treasures the kingdom was keeping but… Something on the level of that town-wide barrier did sound enticing.
“So yes, I think we’ll accept it. The jobs the Academy gave us are likely not possible in the current situation anyway.”
“Nn? Why not?”
Wasn’t it mostly hunting or capturing monsters?
“This is just an assumption of mine but the trolls were likely driven out of their habitat by that roper. In turn, however, the trolls also drove out the monsters in the forest. We pretty much found none of our targets. The only things we got are the herbs but those jobs aren’t exactly paying all that well. The only reason we do them is because they’re good training for our recruits, anyway.”
“Ohh…”
That made sense… Although, Emily made that job a little too easy, in that case…
“Overall, we made quite a loss already and I would like to finish at least one job that was worth it. And it just so happens that one with a juicy reward fell into our hands.”
“Nn… But, if we made a loss already, are we going to be fine? It’s not like it pays… that much money?”
“Ah, no worries about that. While it’s not like we can just overlook it, if we didn’t have enough savings for situations like this, we’d be bankrupt long ago already.”
“Huh…”
That made sense.
“I still got a few questions for Will first, though. As for you two, I’d love to tell you to take a rest but we most likely won’t have the time.”
“Nn?”
No rest? Seriously?
“Since we’ll likely accept this job we have to prepare. Go to Ria and inform her of what happened. Of course, tell her that we’ll likely accept this. After that, I’ve been informed that Elena and Wanda wanted to talk with you, Yumi. It’s about that matter that they’re working on so help them out.”
“... Nn.”
Wanda had told us before that they were pretty much done. In other words… They likely needed me for the material. Ah, I’d really turn into a material farm… But this was something I knew would happen… Nothing to do about it.
“You’re free to tell them about this as well. Wanda might have some ideas. Tell them to change their priorities accordingly.”
“Nn, okay.”
Priorities? Ah, he meant what to make, didn’t he?
“Anyway, off with you two. Things are going to get hectic soon enough.”
“... Weren’t they already hectic?”
“They were… Can’t argue with that. But even more things are going to happen. At the very least, things should finally settle down afterwards, so take it as the last spurt.”
“Nn.”
The last spurt, huh.
“Yumi, let’s go.”
“Nn. Then, Captain, we’re off.”
Korwen raised his hand in acknowledgement and then we left him. The first stop was Ria’s.
“Mm… Worshippers…”
“Nn, Worshippers.”
“Mm…”
Ria was staring at the ceiling of her tent after we told her about the news. Nothing else.
“The Worshippers…”
“Nn, the Worshippers.”
“Why are… they doing… this?”
“... I have no idea?”
How the heck should I know? This was apparently something that had been on-going even before I came to this world so it wasn’t like they were after me. They probably were also after me, though, judging from what Yumelia had done.
“The Akkian Empire… wants territory… The nobles... Probably power? But… What do... the Worshippers… gain?”
“Mhm…”
What did they gain?
“Nn, the support of the Empire?”
“Mhm… Then… Why attack… villages?”
“That’s… probably for experiments?”
“What kind… of experiments?”
“...”
Like I said, how should I know?!
“Something… related to… the Witch… Wait…”
“Nn?”
“That… ritual magic… That… destroyed the forest… What did… the Elder say… again… They want… to reach… the Witch’s… world?”
“Uhm…. I think that was it?”
Right. They had also used ritual magic in the forest. But, they had failed. Probably. Not like we could really confirm it.
“Mhm… Their… objective… is it… to travel… to her… world?”
“... Maybe.”
The Witch’s… Yumias’ world. What kind of world was it? I had to admit that I was curious but on the other hand, if it was full of monsters like her, I’d rather stay away from it.
With that said, I just noticed but…
“Ria, do you believe her world exists?”
“Mm… I don’t… know… If it… does… or not… But… I think… it is… possible…”
“I see…”
Possible, huh…
“Nn… Maybe we should ask the Elder about this?”
“She probably knows a little about this but…”
“Nn?”
“... No, nothing. Just wondered if she’d be willing to talk about it. Because, you know…”
“Ahhh…”
She had some history with Yumias. And I could clearly remember how the loss of her home had hit her. That… certainly wouldn’t be easy for her.
“Nn, but I think we should try asking her. If she doesn’t want to tell us, she’ll say so, I’m sure.”
“... I guess so.”
Karen looked a little worried, so I grabbed her hand and squeezed it. It’d be fine, for sure.
“Mmm… Yumi…”
“Nn? Yes, Ria?”
“What are… you going… to do… after this?”
“Ehh... The Captain told me to meet Elina and Wanda after this.”
“And after… that?”
“Nothing, as of yet.”
“Then… come back… once you… are done…”
That was fine by me but…
“Won’t it be dinner time around then?”
“Skip it…”
“That’s… a little unreasonable…”
Even I knew that working on an empty stomach wasn’t going to give good results.
“Then… eat here…”
“Uhm… I guess that’s doable?”
Who knew how dinner time would end up anyway. Korwen told us things would become hectic, after all. Even more hectic than before.
“Good… We will… have to… practise… something…”
“... Practise what?”
“That… charm… magic…”
“... Eh? Why?”
The charm I had unconsciously used back then to… motivate the mercenaries. That was something I didn’t quite expect to come up now.
“Mm… Because… it might… be useful… for this… and… the more… options… we have… the better…”
“... Nn, I understand.”
“Good… Karen… You should… come too…”
“Okay.”
“We need… someone she… can use it… on…”
“… Wait.”
She wanted me to use it on Karen?!
“Is… something wrong?”
“... Why Sis? I’d… Uhm… Rather not…”
What if I messed up and… and… ruined our relationship?
“Mm… Because… It should be… more noticeable… on her…”
“Is… that so? Still, I’d rather not...”
“Yumi. Let me do it.”
“Eh, Sis?”
I could feel Karen squeezing my hand in turn now as she looked right at me.
“It’ll be fine. We don’t have much time anyway and… I’m a little curious, to be honest...”
“... Curious?”
“Yes… What will happen…”
Karen’s cheeks blushed and she averted her gaze. This was…
“Nn… If you say so… But, are you really really sure?”
“... I am.”
With a nod, she once more affirmed it. If she really wanted to then… Okay.
“In the first place, I can’t allow anyone else to get charmed by you and assault you. ”
“... Hey.”
So it was fine if she was the one assaulting me?
Yes, it was fine. She was right.
“Haaa… I understand… But, we’ll be careful, okay?”
“Of course.”
“Nn.”
Seriously… It did make me happy, though.
“Mm… If you… two have… cleared that up… then it’s… fine… Was there… anything else?”
“Nn, no I don’t think so. Sis?”
“No, that was all. Mr Captain didn’t say anything else.”
Something else might come up later but for now, that had been all.
“Okay… Then… I will… prepare… Thank you… For informing… me.”
“Nn, no problem. We’ll come by later then.”
“Until… then…”
With that, Karen and I left Ria alone to her preparations. I had no idea what she was going to prepare, though. Hopefully, nothing that would explode here…
“Then, the next stop is Elina and Wanda?”
“Nn.”
“I wonder… did they finish?”
“Nn… Wanda told me that they were close to finishing so… Probably, yes.”
Holding hands, Karen and I made our way to Elina’s temporary workshop. For now, things still seemed relatively calm among the mercenaries that walked past us. No rushing or running around. Korwen was probably still talking with Will, the king, and Ruben.
“Nn…”
“Yumi?”
“Sis, what do you think of… that job offer?”
“What I think… I don’t know… I think it’s dangerous.”
“Nn, it definitely is.”
There was no way fighting wasn’t dangerous… But it was way too late to complain about that now. This was the work mercenaries did.
“And I feel that it’s… too fast.”
“Too fast?”
“Yes… How do I say it… things are happening too fast. We just came back from being attacked in the forest and then this happens. I don’t know… It’s all happening so quick.”
“Nn, certainly…”
Unfortunately, life wasn’t waiting for you.
“But if we wait, the chance might slip away. And… if they had planned this out from the beginning and then had to improvise… It might be more dangerous to leave them be for too long.”
This might have been just me but it felt like… That attack on us was rushed. Korwen also said someone was obstructing their rituals. Maybe… they were panicking? In that case, wasn’t it better to strike now before they could recover?
“Nn… But… I guess if it hadn’t been for the king offering a job, the Captain probably wouldn’t have interfered either.”
“Yumi? What are you talking about?”
“Ah, sorry, I was a little lost in thought. Er, you see, I was just thinking about what the Captain told me before. If there is nothing to gain, he won’t interfere. And I just thought that if Will hadn’t come with that offer, we might have just protected El and Nel and done nothing else.”
“Ahh… That might have been the case.”
In that case, however… In the worst case, many people might have died in this town, in the capital. Even people we knew. I couldn’t say that I was all too happy with that thought. So… It made me feel a little relieved that Korwen was thinking of accepting the job proposal.
Then, I also have to do my best. I need to… do my best. And that… means hurting… or killing those Worshippers… and Yumelia.
“Hey, Sis.”
“Yes?”
“Do you remember the ogre from back then? The one that… I blew up?”
“... I do.”
“Earlier… I tried to replicate what I did back then… When those trolls chased us.”
“Yumi, that light we saw…”
I nodded. It was most likely the light from when the crystal exploded.
“I think I am going to make… more of those crystals. For throwing them. And I want to ask Ria if she has any ideas if I could make them explode from far away.”
“I see… We should discuss that with her later when we’re at her place again.”
“Nn.”
Those mana crystals probably needed quite a bit of mana but they were… destructive.
“Yumi.”
“Nn?”
“This might sound… a little bad but… Can’t the dolls explode the crystals?”
“They might be able to, but...”
It did sound bad, indeed. Honestly, in the beginning, I most likely wouldn’t have minded those words but after Yumias had told me they were pretty much like my children… and that they did possess a certain amount of intelligence… It was hard to see them as expendables anymore.
“Ah, but maybe… Mhm… I’ll have to try that out.”
A sudden idea came to mind. Sure, the dolls might be able to do it, but wasn’t there a better option?
“Maybe the tentacles could do it, too.”
The tentacle growth was… probably more resilient than the dolls. It seemed to regenerate quite fast as well so it probably would be fine even if it got caught up in it. And even if it wasn’t fine… The thought didn’t bother me as much as it did for the dolls.
“Those tentacles… Are you sure they could do that?”
“Nn, who knows? They do seem to… understand what I want them to do, at least.”
If they could detonate the mana crystal that….
Wait, wouldn’t that make them effectively mines? That… was quite scary. But, it was useful. It was useful, so… I’d try it. I had to.
“They definitely understand you… Actually, aren’t they pretty smart as well? They attacked the ropers on their own but left us alone.”
“Nn… Who knows?”
Did they attack the ropers because I saw them as enemies or was there some other reasoning?
“I wonder which it is… Haa…”
“Could be anything. But you should discuss that with Ria and Korwen.”
“Nn.”
“Right now, let’s focus on this.”
“Nn?”
This?
I followed Karen’s gaze and… remembered what we wanted to do. Right in front of us, we saw Elina and Wanda together with two unfamiliar men. The two men were facing off, each holding a rod. A thin, pink-coloured rope was hanging between them, either end wrapped around the rods.
“What are they doing?”
“Don’t ask me.”
The two men suddenly pulled the rods back, straightening the rope.
“Come on, you can do better than that. Put your muscles to use. Or are you little girls? Never carried something heavier than a stick?”
“Nnngghhhh!”
“Ohhhhh!”
Wanda shouted at the two men who were desperately pulling on the rods on their ends. You could clearly see their faces turning red and their muscles bulging from the endeavour. Nonetheless, the thin rope was holding.
“Miss Wanda, maybe we should have used some static object after all and let them pull there. Not that I mind watching those muscles but…”
“They would’ve just pulled it out by now already. And I sure don’t feel like looking for a tree who-knows-where. They might just uproot it anyway.”
“If you say so. I’ll watch the muscles some more then.”
“You’re supposed to watch that rope, not the muscles! Damn muscle fetishist.”
At that point, the two finally couldn’t keep it up anymore. One of them lost his grip and fell over. With a surprised scream. the other men followed immediately. At least they had the foresight to do this around somewhere with plenty of space and no rocks around. Otherwise, they might have hit their heads now.
“Ahh, no luck, huh.”
“I expected them to not be able to tear the rope but to think they couldn’t even tear the yarn itself… This is impressive.”
“They could’ve kept it up for a little longer.”
“Shut up, pervert. Also, it seems we got guests.”
“Hm?”
Ah, Wanda had spotted us.
“You’ve come at a good time.”
“Hello, Wanda, Miss Elina.”
“Nn. Was that…”
“It was. We were just doing some more tests to kill time but as you can see, it’s quite impressive. These men are by no means weak and yet they couldn’t even tear apart a thin thread.”
With a wry smile, Wanda walked up to the two men, both breathing heavily, and retrieved the rope. Or, actually, just like Wanda had said, it wasn’t even a rope. It was just a bundle of loose threads.
“This rope is going to be extremely useful. I thought that if we kept it thin like this, we could test its durability more than sufficiently. Turns out that it completely blew apart our expectations.”
“That’s right! I’ve rarely seen a material this durable before! It’s too bad we have no way of confirming how much it can hold…”
“I… I see…”
That was good… Probably? Not being able to confirm exactly how much it could hold was a little bit of an issue if I had to guess but otherwise?
“We do know for now that a regular-sized rope of this thread should be able to carry several times the load a rope with normal materials could carry. That’s already quite a lot.”
“Nn, I see.”
Several times that of a normal rope… That was impressive, yes.
“Anyway, let me get to the point why we called for you. Although, you probably already know why don’t you?”
“... You want more of it.”
“Exactly.”
“Haaa…”
Material Farm Yumi, reporting for duty.
I knew it would end up like this.
“Nn, but before we do that, the Captain said that we should tell you something.”
“Oh? What is it?”
“Nn…”
I threw a glance to the back, towards the two exhausted men. It would probably be fine but Korwen had only mentioned Elina and Wanda.
“Let’s go inside, you can tell us there.”
“Nn, okay.”
Wanda collected the things they had brought outside for the test and disappeared inside the workshop tent. As for Elina, she walked up to the two men and thanked them for helping out. And asked if she could touch those muscles but I probably was better off pretending that I hadn’t seen that.
Everyone has their own preferences, yeah…
Karen and I followed Wanda inside the tent, where she had already sat down on the work table.
“Sit down and tell me what’s up.”
“Nn.”
After Karen and I took our seats, Elina also joined us.
“So, what is it?”
“Nn, the captain… was approached with a job offer.”
“A job?”
“Nn. Fighting off a group of Worshippers that are occupying a village.”
“Huh…”
Wanda didn’t seem surprised at all. Or even impressed in the slightest… Elina however was tilting her head.
“Worshippers? You mean the Witch Worshippers?”
“Nn.”
“Is it related to those rumours that villages are being attacked?”
“Well… Nn.”
She only knew about it as rumours?
“I see. Worshippers, huh… Never met one before. Does the Witch even exist? Isn’t she just a fairytale?”
“...”
That was… probably a good thing… that she didn’t know. Better to keep it that way.
“Whether she exists or not is irrelevant, girl. But if they got a job to get rid of those pests, then that old man probably wants us to change priorities.”
“Changing priorities?”
“Fighting humans doesn’t need rope all that often. Not on an open field anyway and not against a small group of people. At most for tying them up but even a regular rope can accomplish that.”
“Oh, I see. Then, we’re going to focus on… what?”
“I would say the frizzly thread as well as those leather patches. No, the leather patches first. Kid, do you know how much time we have?”
“No, I don’t, but probably soon.”
“I see. Then let’s assume tomorrow for now. That’s not enough time for me to make anything decent out of the threads. Konno and his ilk should be able to make use of the leather patches, however… In that case, the leather patches first. Once we get some of those sent over to Konno, we’ll need some thread. While I can’t make anything from scratch, I can probably try and improve some of the existing ones.”
Wow… We had only told her a little and… she was already up and about on what to do. Even Elina stared at Wanda with wide eyes.
“What? Something wrong?”
“Nn, no… I was just impressed by how quickly you decided on what to do.”
“Ahh… Comes with the experience. With that said, Elina! Stop gawking and get to work, you’re the only one here who can make the materials!”
“Ah, yes! I’ll do it! I’ll do it! Let me do it!”
What in the world did a seamstress have to go through for her to have experience with a situation like this?
“Kid.”
“Nn?”
“Strip.”
“... Eh?”
“Strip.”
“Wait, what? Ah, stop it!”
Seeing my inaction at her sudden command, she decided to just strip me herself. Even if we were all women and girls here, this was a little much for me!
“Wanda?! What are you doing to Yumi?!”
“Stripping her. I need the armour she’s wearing.”
“But you can’t just!”
“I can and I will, girl.”
And she sure did. Mercilessly and with skilful movements, Wanda stripped me down to my underwear, which was just some underpants. And Karen had been unable to prevent her from stripping me. Now, I was sitting on the ground, trying to cover myself at least a little bit with my arms.
“Uhhh…”
“Stop crying, kid. I’ll give you that armour back later.”
“Uhh… When… When is later?”
“... Tomorrow?”
“...”
And what was I supposed to do until then?!
“Is there anything I can wear here?”
“Here? No.”
“...”
She wasn’t expecting me to leave looking like this, was she?
“Sis… What do I do?”
“...”
“Sis?”
“Ah, what?”
She… was staring at me. Yeah… I knew that kind of stare. Unfortunately, now wasn’t the time for this.
“Sis… I need something to wear…”
“... Do you have to?”
“Yes, I do. I can’t leave looking like this.”
“...”
Karen wasn’t replying anymore! What should I do?
“You’re right. It’d be bad if someone saw you like this. I’m going to fetch something. Wait here.”
“Nn, thank you, Sis.”
Leaving those words behind, Karen went out to bring me something to wear. All the while, the culprit behind all of this was focused on her work. Which coincidentally didn’t seem to include the armour she had stripped me off yet. Couldn’t she have… let me change first?
A demon… Definitely… a demon...
Hmm, Yumi's becoming an exhibitionist.
Thanks for the chapter.
Wow. Yumi's hair tentacles sure are strong. Perhaps that's why they have low grip strength? Perhaps they even bind dragons?
And I'm just imagining Yumi going to battle wearing a tentacle dress.
Spoiler compression for textwall comment:
Author, I realize it might be kind of difficult to get this kind of thing consistent, but I really think you need to work on getting the portrayal of Yumi's intelligence (and mental maturity) straight. How she acts, how other people describe her in-story, and how her thoughts are portrayed at times are all over the place.
Korwen, for instance, described her as clever, but she rarely ever exhibits any behavior that could be described as such. The "cleverness", or rather, simply the ability to keep up with the conversation being depicted in the meeting was just suddenly switched on for the previous two chapters, and honestly, it was a jarring switch. Compare her inability to figure out that she should use her hands to pick the Slime Flower, and that she still doesn't carry regular mana crystals on her own person in addition to the pink one, despite requiring them for most of her spells. The latter example is like bringing a hammer, but not thinking to bring nails; this is something a clever animal could figure out. And then, when the meeting ends in this chapter, she's right back to being unable to think on her own. Yumi is literally the one most familiar with different worlds present. Yumias even went out of her way to explain the structure of worlds to her, and how to travel between them... The Elder previously mentioned she didn't know whether the witch's world even existed, why would she think talking to her would be the better idea? It's simply all over the place.
Onto mental maturity, again, she's flipping left and right throughout this very chapter. One moment she's resolving herself to stand on the battlefield, with all that this entails, the next she's throwing a tantrum over not wanting to practice the charm magic, which would be her sole long range magic if she could use it, due to simple paranoia. Having a magician with a grasp on charm magic is obviously a huge advantage against Yumelia, who is known to use it, but no, she has to be pushed into it. Mentally preparing myself to stand on the battlefield? Yessir! Actually make an effort to gain the power needed to protect the ones she wants to keep safe? How could that possibly be necessary. And this has been going on since the series started: at some times she will act mature, and handle herself on her own like you'd expect someone in their 20s, with f.eks. Lily considering her behavior akin to an older sister character, and yet at other times, often on the actually important matters, she will regress to a child, acting on emotion without sparing a thought for what she "should" be doing, or critically, what she should do now for future benefit.
While people can vary in how they tackle different situations, Yumi is just way off the rails. You may very well intend for Yumi to have such a contradictory personality, but even so, there is something that just doesn't work with the way it's portrayed. Take Yumias, who is supposed to be off-the-rails, and is considered as such by all other characters. When her actions are portrayed, she does still exhibit internal consistency in how she acts in various situations. It gives off a deliberate impression how she varies. Off-the-rails, sure, yet there is a consistency that makes you think that this is a believable character. Yumi doesn't have this. She just swivels around without cause, consistently applying the dead wrong mindset at the least believable times, most prominently her constant refusal to consider how she could apply her wide array of unique abilities (You could write a full thesis on the possibilities by now). It becomes really jarring.
I would try to give you concrete advice on how this could be remedied, but at present, I can't. I simply can't tell what Yumi's core is supposed to be, how the variance in her behavior arises, and thus how a more believable portrayal could be made. I suppose this speaks to the state of the matter, as I perceive it. It is difficult to immerse oneself in a story, when you cannot put yourself in the shoes of the main character.
First of all, thank you for the comment! I appreciate it, really.
Well, compared to the last comment, this time I can give you a bit more of a reply:
Let me preface with this: It's not like I disagree on all your points. There are several parts where I can see what you mean and where I can only blame my own inability to portray things and my inexperience, mostly on the point of consistency.
However, there are a few parts I'd like to address which hopefully clarifies a few things:
First of all, this contradiction between naivety, helplessness and maybe even escapism compared to 'maturity' is, in its own way, intended. For Yumi, this is the difference between facing unknown matters, which are contra to the ethics and the world she grew up with and things she is familiar with or already resolved herself to.
And in that regard, resolving yourself to stand on the battlefield and messing with someone's mind are each rather different. Especially, when it concerns a loved one. Yumi is not against using Charm magic nor practising it. Rather, she initially agrees with Ria. Only when it comes to practising on Karen does she show resistance, which is also the main point of their discussion. So, I think that was just a simple misunderstanding. I might add a line or two to make that a little clearer.
As an additional point, while it is a little less relevant in this chapter in particular, I believe, is that people do not change on the drop of a hat. I know that fiction likes to display this moment of 'enlightenment' where the protagonist realises something and changes their stance immediately. But as the saying goes: Habits die hard. And even more so when it concerns one's opinions and behaviour.
On the point of what she 'should' be doing and thinking 'critically,' I believe that this shouldn't be all too surprising. Most people wouldn't be able to. Especially when they are confused and confronted with such, for them, alien concepts like magic. And, to a lesser degree, war.
There's also that people do not always immediately think of the best solution. As a bystander, it might often be obvious but for the person involved, it's not. There are a few instances where Yumi does not arrive immediately at the best solution, usually when it involves one of her more... exotic abilities.
To put it in a simple way, Yumi is still in the process of understanding what is going on around her. It has been merely around a month and a half since she came to that world. It's been a lot longer for us, I know, but that's how it is for her.
Differences in behaviour mostly stem from the surroundings and the people involved. Karen is her mental support and she can relax around her. Of course, she will behave differently with her as compared to Korwen, who is not only their superior but also their saviour. As she grows familiar with everyone, she also relaxes around people she was previously stiff with. In a way, the relaxed her is her real personality. Sure, it might not be 'mature,' even spoiled and childish, but few people are mature beneath all the layers.
As Yumi grows more accustomed, she will probably also grow more confident and the erratic behaviour lessens. Truth be told, things dragged on a lot longer than I initially planned and I understand that there are some frustrations in regards to this. There's a number of reasons for that but that's a different story.
Now, to finish, I'd like to mention that this is mostly how I understood your post. It's, honestly, a little hard to know what you mean since you are talking more in general and not giving all that many specific examples that I can work with. One is just a matter of unfamiliarity with herself, the other one is just a misunderstanding in regards to reading—which I'll try to clarify for future readers—and the last one is a simple question of trust. Between asking someone who is clearly 'off-the-rails' and someone who isn't, even if the latter is less knowledgeable, who would you choose? Can you even trust the account of the off-the-rails person? Especially if they are someone you dislike. Sure, you might argue the Elder initially showed clear hostility to them, but at that point, it comes to a difference in values. Some might choose A, others might choose B. And Yumi chose B. Also, there speaks nothing against asking the Elder. Even if she doesn't gain new information, it would help to verify the already known information.
Well, no two people interpret something in the same way, so I get that occasionally there'll be some confusion or different opinions. There's not much I can do about that. Not to mention that it's completely fine to have these differences but it does lead to confusion and different opinions at times. I am trying to portray things as well as I can but I'm not perfect. Not in the least.
I know there are occasionally some problems in regards to consistent behaviour. There have been a few times where I had to take the literal sledgehammer and bully the plot into the right direction, even at the cost of consistent behaviour. Of course, I try to avoid this as much as possible but due to my inexperience and/or inattentiveness, it sometimes can't be avoided. But, from my understanding, if I tried to 'fix' what you suggested, I'd have to rewrite the entire story. Or rather, it'd become an entirely different story. It might be interesting in its own way but that's not the point. Not that I'd even have remotely the time to do either. I already got my hands full with just this.
With that said, as one might have guessed by now, this arc, in particular, might be pretty important for Yumi's future and her growth. However, I don't know if it'll be the change that you are looking for.
Well then, I think that was long enough for now. To repeat, this is in response mostly to how I understood your comment. If I misunderstood anything, feel free to clarify it. Also, if you have some more specific examples, that would also be appreciated.
Then, with that out of the way, a Merry Christmas and I wish you a good start into the new year. If you write a comment you might want to remind me after new years on discord, since I'm unlikely to reply in the next days and I might forget by then.
There are still things I'd like to say but I think this is more than enough. Thank you for the comment. Wish you good holidays!
Rinné
@Rinne Well if you’re actually feeling some difficulties with Yumi’s personality I suggest you should make a personal glossary about her feelings and actions towards things she might encounter in her way and even for your other characters as well, it can make things more easier and bring new ideas together with some writing structure.
It actually made me think of something if yumi's name in japanese means "bow" i think if someone relates her name with her characteristics it would sound more like "yume" that in japanese stands for "dream".
(Just a fun fact)
Could Yumi's hair be used to reinforce cannons and other things? I mean it doesn't break easily so you could mix it with other things like metal or stone. The combined material would be much cheaper than using just the hair, and at the same time provide a massive boost in strength.
For example, how easily does her hair burn? If you could mix or inbed it into a metal plate while forging that would greatly improve the durability.
A secondary boon of this method is that it hides the hair from sight, and thus allows it use more often.
Wow. So it's like inserting nanotubes into steel, but the hair is much thicker. If you forge it into a sword, then one day, while trying to sharpen the blade, you might expose some pink hair.
Plus, I think Yumi's hair is nigh indestructible. Only slashing seems to break it, and it's also quite resistant to that as well.