“Wake up! All of you! Get the Hell out of bed!”
My body was moving before my eyes had fully opened, as I scrambled my way out of the cot and stood at attention for morning inspection. My three roommates rushed out of their own cots at varying speeds, the boys all standing at attention for their inspection.
The Instructor, Rudie, was a balding man, his face permanently contorted into a scowl. He smelled so strongly of tobacco and booze that I fought the urge to gag. My roommates were a bit slower to get up than me
“Too slow.” He scrawled something down on his clipboard, and despite that my roommates had been the last to get up, he kept his gaze fixed squarely on me. His inspection began as he wandered around our dorm, searching for anything that could be used to dock points from us. While on my side of the room, he brushed a hand against his pocket, and a cigarette fell out and onto the floor. I winced, as I knew what was coming next.
Picking up the cigarette, he stormed his way over to me and waved it in my face, the scent actually forcing a gag out of me. “What’s a student like you doing with these, huh?”
I didn’t respond. Talking back only got a more severe tongue lashing. He didn’t like my silence either though, and gripped my pajamas, pulling me closer to him, and glaring into my eyes. His glazed eyes bore into me, and I couldn’t avoid breaking eye contact as they drifted off to the side to escape his gaze.
“Got nothing to say, huh?” He scoffed, and let go of me, then wrote something down on his clipboard before turning to leave. “Get ready, then go to your classes, I don’t want to hear that any of you were late.”
As he went, I felt myself stiffen, knowing that my roommates were glaring daggers at me. I sighed and shook my head, before pulling my uniform out of my cot. This was our routine every inspection, I would get singled out, all of us would end up getting punished, and my roommates would be angry at me.
This time was different though, as they all stood in the way of the door and blocked me from leaving. Their “leader”, Louis, a blonde boy from a prominent family, scowled at me. My gaze averted, and I somehow felt myself shrink even further than before.
“Lukas, this is the fourth time in a row we’ve gotten nailed because of You.” I bristled at that, it was entirely Rudie’s fault, but none of us were able to talk back to or even accuse an instructor of wrongdoing. They were all picked by the Headmaster, who himself was chosen by the Empress, and who were we to question the wisdom of the Empress?
And yet.
It was true that if I wasn’t there, that perhaps my roommates would be better off. I couldn’t argue with that point, so instead I did my best to not make things harder on them.
Not that it ever mattered to them.
I inhaled deeply, then exhaled. “I’m sorry about that, but what can I do about Rudie’s vendetta against my Uncle?”
Louis sighed and shook his head. “I get that Lukas, but you have to figure something out, before this happens again.” The other two flanking him, Julian and Robert nodded their heads, and maintained their scowls at me.
I let out a deep sigh and quietly shook my head. “I get it. Can we go now? We’re going to get in trouble if we’re late.”
*
My recounting of events was interrupted as Lilia practically flung herself at me, squeezing me into a tight hug and bombarding my head with a flurry of pats. I yelped in surprise at her sudden movement and the extreme stimulation. My body attempted to wriggle its way free of her grasp, but the head maid was simply too strong.
“No! You get hugs right now.”
My mind recoiled and tumbled as it attempted to reconcile the world I’d been inhabiting with the reality around me. My head felt dizzy and I found myself falling against Lilia, my hand met my forehead as I attempted to steady myself.
“Iris? Are you okay?”
A splitting pain was forming behind my eyes, and I grit my teeth as the painful sensation of dissonance ran its course through me.
A gentle hand met my forehead and tenderly stroked. I jolted up at the contact, only to realize that Lilia was petting my head. My racing thoughts began to settle, and I closed my eyes again, allowing myself to lean against the maid once more.
“I’m… I’m not sure what just happened. It felt like I was in two places at once for a moment, and my mind was struggling to process it.”
Lilia’s hand continued to stroke my head, and I exhaled, the thoughts of that horrible place leaving my head in that breath.
Azalea hesitated briefly before approaching and gently placed a hand on my head. “Alder spoke of it before, that people who have been through particularly tough situations can feel like they’re still in that place.”
The head maid’s grip on me tightened as she held me close to her soft body. “You’re with us now Iris. I know it’ll take a while until you feel the same way, but you aren’t there anymore.”
I nodded my head, and let out another heavy sigh. She was right of course, but my mind was seemingly slow to catch up to it.
It won’t last forever. Eventually it will all fall away, and you’ll have no one but yourself to rely on then.
The thought caused me to painfully grimace, and perhaps sensing my pain, Lilia took my chin and gently lifted my head up to meet her gaze. “You’re not alone anymore.
“I don’t think it used to be, but the entire system has been geared towards producing soldiers that can wield magical armaments. It requires a tremendous amount of discipline, and not all students make it.”
Lady Azalea looked at me hesitantly and pursed her lip. “What happens to the ones that don’t make it?”
I quietly shook my head. “I don’t know. They’d linger at the Academy for a while, but then every one of them would disappear without fail. I suppose they get sent on “missions” like mine.”
The two women each gave me another hug, and I let out another squeak as I was suddenly squished between them. Azalea was the first to speak. “I’m sorry that happened to you, but I’m happy that it led you to us.”
My chest tightened as I gripped them tightly, my heart feared that if I let go they would disappear. “I’m… happy it did too. I don’t know if I’m happy right now, but I think I will be happy if I can stay with you.”
The two ladies smiled and rewarded my emotional honesty with more gentle pats to my head. I wasn’t accustomed to receiving anything other than exploitation and scorn for being vulnerable, and in truth my heart still raced with confusion at the strange experience of it all. I also knew that more than anything, this was what I truly needed.
Lilia looked at me thoughtfully and wiped away a tear from my eyes that I hadn’t noticed before now. “It’s wonderful to see you smile so genuinely.”
My hand reached up to my face to confirm that I was indeed smiling. It felt odd that I hadn’t felt it happen, but the more I focused on it, the more I felt that giddiness in my chest.
Azalea was intermittently glancing in Lilia’s direction, and her Head Maid smiled at her mistress and then returned her attention to me. “If you want to stop talking about your past today, then that’s fine. We have all the time in the world to talk about it some more.”
I swallowed past the lump in my throat, the raw emotions of my time at the Academy being on full display within myself, and I feared that if I let it go then they would be buried under a layer of rock once again.
“N-No, I think I’d like to continue, while it’s still fresh in my mind.”
The two women shared a glance, then Lilia nodded to Azalea. I let out a soft squeal as I was pulled back against the lady of the house, my head resting comfortably against her chest. She began to gently stroke my hair, and her tail snaked its way around to rest on my lap. I felt surrounded by warmth, and it slowly began to seep its way inside of me, leading my body to relax into a puddle.
“Why don’t you get nice and comfortable then, and we’d be happy to listen to more of your story, Iris.”
Every time I heard my real name, butterflies welled up in my chest, and my non-existent tail wanted to wag. I turned my gaze inward, to focus on the feelings that were welling up inside of me, and how best to put them into words.
“Okay, but I will warn you that it gets Much worse.”
What a pathetic school, it sounds like they need a Military school and a separate magic academy for non-combat mages.
Sadly, I think it will take a major change in that country's leadership or another country to take in those cast out mages.
Instructors like Rudie need to spend a century or so as a statue to teach them some compassion and humility.
“You’re not alone anymore.
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