A mired stew of conflicted emotions swirled inside of me as I struggled to process Matthew’s arrival at the estate. Thoughts of happiness at the possibility of seeing him again were swiftly brushed aside by panicked thoughts of his reaction to me right now. We’d moved up to Azalea’s chambers, while reclining on her large, plush bed. The silk curtains around the posts were drawn closed to allow us even greater privacy, which brought a level of safety and comfort that I was not accustomed to.

The only thing that kept me from once again breaking into a full on panic attack was the presence of my Lady Azalea, her pink hued hand gently applying soothing pats to my head.

I was still recognizably me, but by this point I’d developed in an undeniably feminine direction. And while Matthew had never been opposed to my desires to be a girl, I was uncertain of what he would think of the direction things had gone.

“Oh, you think you’re a girl now? I was just humoring you, Lukas.”

A shiver ran through my body at the unpleasant thought, and while a part of me knew that Matthew would not be so callous, neither could I completely dismiss the notion.

Azalea’s finger gently poking my nose brought me out of my spiral, and an undignified squeak escaped from my mouth. She smirked, and gently ran her long fingers through my silver locks.

“Much as I could sit here and watch you make cute faces all day, don’t you think it would be better if you got your feelings out, instead of stewing in them?”

My cheeks flushed with embarrassment at her comment about “Cute Faces”, but neither could I deny that my brooding was bringing me to unhealthy conclusions. As per my training, I took a deep breath in, and a deep breath out.

“It’s cute when you do that. Reminds me of when I was a child, and Alder would recommend that I do the same when I was upset with my parents.”

A shiver passed through my body, and I nodded my head as I returned to the present.

“I wish I could have been raised here, instead of… well, everything else.”

Her hand gently stroked my head, and I leaned into the soothing touch. Azalea smiled softly and tapped me gently on the forehead.

“I’m delighted that you like it here so much, but unfortunately we do have to address the current situation. You cannot simply run away from your past.”

I winced. “True enough, I suppose. I’m not trying to run away from it… him, it’s just hard to put things into words.”

“Well, perhaps I can help you to loosen up a little. I always find it difficult to talk when I’m taut as a bowstring.”

Her usage of the phrase inspired my curiosity, I simply could not help myself. “Do you shoot, Lady Azalea?”

Her smile returned, and she shrugged her shoulders. “On occasion.”

“I just wouldn’t have thought that-”

The smile widened into a smirk. “A noble lady like myself would be involved with that sort of thing? You do realize that we’re in the Hinterlands, and roaming monsters will wander into town at any moment?”

I frowned. “I don’t recall seeing many guards, or much of an active militia.”

“They don’t really need one, after all, they have Us to protect them.”

My eyes widened in understanding. I thought it had been strange that the nearby town didn’t make a fuss about the Wild Mages living in the mansion, but if they kept the people safe with their powers, it would certainly breed tolerance, if not acceptance.

Azalea let out a sigh. “I see the thoughts going through your head right now, and while yes they are accepting now, it took them quite a while.”

She shook her head, and continued. “But we can talk about That another time, right now we’re focusing on You.”

I smiled weakly. “Drat, my distraction failed.”

My Lady giggled, and I let out a soft whimper as she rubbed my ears.

“Even for me, that wasn’t very subtle. It was a cute attempt though.”

I let out a soft gasp as I felt an unexpected touching on my other ear. A quick glance upwards revealed that it was a ghostly hand, gently rubbing at my perky dog ear, eliciting heavenly sensations that I was rapidly growing more accustomed to.

My Lady smiled, and rubbed my other ear with her free hand.

“Now then, let me drop the pageantry and ask you directly, Iris. Do you want us to send him away?”

I shot my head up reflexively, as panic shot through my body at the mere notion.

“N-No, don’t do that. He came all this way to find me, and it would be very rude to just send him off like that.”

Her hand gently combed through my flowy locks of silver, and with the addition of her illusory hand rubbing my ear, the panic began to settle down, as I leaned my head in closer to her soft body. A few tears welled up in my eyes, and then streamed down my face, which she gently caught in her fingers and wiped away.

“Remember what we’ve told you. You are safe with us, no matter what.” Her words were gentle and reassuring, providing a safe harbor for me in this latest storm. As I looked up into her eyes, I could see a tempest of her own welling up behind her eyes.

A pit of guilt opened up in my heart, and I sunk headlong into its depths. I really had to learn to stop relying on them for everything, and stand on my own two feet. Even if my Uncle was gone, and I had been exiled, I still carried the name of the Greys. A layer of steel formed around my heart as I nodded my head in firm resolution; I would not hide away from Matthew, my manservant, like a coward.

I would face him. I Could face him.

Ripples of anxiety coursed through me and I swallowed, determined to keep them buried.

“I don’t want to send him away. I’ll meet him face to face, and we will talk.”

Frustration began to mount as Azalea’s brow furrowed in concern, as her eyes narrowed, and she looked deeper into me.

“If that’s what you want, then we can do it. But are you sure that’s-”

“Yes! Yes, I am quite sure of it.”

I didn’t want her to worry about me any further, so why was she prying more? I had to do my part and look after her as well.

As a Maid would.

Azalea opened her mouth to speak, when the door to our private domain swung open. My back stiffened as I rose back up, and Azalea quickly followed suit. Lilia stood in the doorway with the sternest face I’d seen on her yet.

“I’m sorry to disturb you both, but we’ve got trouble. A Monster has broken loose in the village.”

The earlier anxiety tore its way through my system once more as my gaze rapidly switched between the stern faced Lilia and the beleaguered look of Azalea. My Lady brought a hand to her face, as it scrunched up in annoyance.

“Really? Of all the times for this to happen, it had to be Now? Ugh, well all right. Has Alder begun to engage it?”
Lilia’s tension pinched in on her delicate face, revealing an expression of nervousness that I’d not yet seen on her.

“Yes and… Matthew went with him.”

A chill of fear shot down my spine, ending in a bristling of my tail, and on instinct I shot up to my feet.

“What?? He’s… but how, he’s not-”

A soft hand caught my face, and turned me over to glance into the gentle eyes of my Lady. “Iris, calm yourself. Just like you always do.”

I nodded my head in obedience, and took several calming breaths, though it did not abate the feeling of fear that was stirring inside of me.

“That’s a good girl. Lilia, go meet with Alder and provide him with your usual assistance. I’ll be joining you shortly.”

Lilia gave a polite bow, then took off at a hurried pace, her ruffled skirt fluttering behind her as she went. Azalea gently touched my cheek and smiled.

“We’ll handle this, you just stay here and keep safe.”

The earlier sense of determination that I’d been building welled up inside me once more, and I shook my head.

“With all due respect my Lady, I would like to join you for this exchange.”

My practice with courtly manners had found its way to my lips once more, along with my confidence. Azalea’s brow only furrowed deeper and she sighed.

“I appreciate that you want to help Iris, but please bear in mind that we have been fighting Monsters for a while. We can handle this.”

Each word she spoke felt like a sting to my pride, even if every word of it was true. It only fanned the flames of defiance inside of me further, as I planted my feet firmly on the ground.

“I’m a trained Mage, and I can help you out in this fight. Even if I can’t participate, I would like to at least observe, so I can help you out in the next one.”

Azalea looked me deep in the eyes, as I mustered the best “Puppy Dog” expression I could manage. I’d had some experience using it on Matthew previously, and evidently my new features only added to its effectiveness as she let out a sigh.

“Fine, but you are only to observe, and not actively participate. Are we clear?”

I nodded my head, and tossed up my hand in a traditional Academy salute.

“Perfectly clear!”

She eyed me dubiously and then began to walk towards the door as her disguise fell away.

I smiled, and followed her. I’d never been the best at social situations, but Magic? Magic I could do.