Andrew used cantrips to resize the looted clothing so it fit better.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Everyone had exited the rope trick and were milling about the clearing. Andrew and Miriam did a quick sweep of the area to make sure they hadn't had any visitors during the night, then everyone grouped up. Andrew took out a crude map of the region that he had bought at the adventurer's guild and laid it out on a boulder, "Okay..." He pointed at the upper middle of the map, "We are here in these scrublands." He looked to Elyin, "Where is home?"

 

Elyin hovered her finger over the map and then lowered it to the southeastern corner, then kept going. She eventually stopped about two full map lengths off the map in mid-air, "About here."

 

Andrew blinked, "Uhh... how many miles?"

 

"Maybe... eight..."

 

Andrew let out a sigh of relief.

 

"...hundred?"

 

Andrew made an 'erk' sound as he realized how long it might take to get everyone back home.

 

Elyin nodded, "I understand. You wanted to help but didn't understand just how much of an undertaking this would be. I thank you for-"

 

Andrew made a dismissive hand gesture, "Oh. It's not going to be a problem."

 

Elyin was shocked. The children all perked up, "Really?" They spoke in unison.

 

Andrew reached into his magic backpack, "I'm just going to read your mind while you think of home, then..." He pulled out a scroll, "Attune myself to this scroll and teleport us all there." He smiled, "Easy peasy, Lemon-" He stopped talking and abruptly eyed the scroll.

 

"Just..." He frowned a most unhappy frown, "Attune... myself?" He unrolled the scroll and examined it, "Uhh... this IS a teleport scroll." He rolled the scroll back up, held it tightly, and closed his eyes as he concentrated. Beads of sweat started to form on his forehead, "Why... can't I... attune THIS? Teleport is a fifth-circle spell. I can manifest fifth-circle..." His eyes flared open as horrific realization dawned on him, "Oh no."

 

Miriam looked concerned, "What's wrong?"

 

"I forgot. I need to be able to manifest sixth-circle POWERS before I can cast fifth-circle SPELLS. It's a limitation on the class. It's why I'll never be able to use ninth-circle spells." He tapped the scroll against his head as he gritted his teeth, "I'm such an IDIOT! I can't attune to this scroll yet!"

 

Miriam frowned, then squinted, "Wait, you can't attune to it, but can't you just... READ it?"

 

Andrew looked a little confused, "Read it?" He looked at the scroll, "Well, sure. Of course, I could READ it, but it's the only one I have. I need it so I can attune to it in about two levels."

 

Miriam's eyes shifted from side to side, "Soooooo... you have two more levels before you can attune that scroll. That's plenty of time to get a new teleport scroll." She pointed, "Just use that one."

 

Andrew started to whine, "Do you have any idea how expensive a teleport scroll is? Not to mention it's BANNED. You need a license to get one and-" He stopped talking when he saw Miriam giving him a death stare. He recoiled from that baleful glare and eventually continued talking in a far more subdued tone, "What's the cost of a few thousand silver compared to the reward of getting everyone back home in a timely fashion?"

 

He sighed as he let his shoulders sag in defeat.

 

Miriam nodded slowly as she quirked an eyebrow, "That's what I THOUGHT you were going to say."

 

Andrew forced a smile, "The problem is, it isn't that simple."

 

Miriam looked at Andrew out of the corner of her eye, "And what do you mean by that?"

 

"I'm going to be teleporting using a scroll that is beyond my capabilities. There is a chance of failure. On top of that, it's to a location I have never been before." He pointed at Elyin, "I will be using her memories to get there. This was dodgy to begin with. If I screw this up, if we're lucky, it will only fail. If we are unlucky, we go up to nine hundred miles in the wrong direction. ANY... direction. If we have catastrophic bad luck, we wind up in the ocean, or a volcano, or lost in a maze of underground tunnels, or someplace equally likely to insta-kill us."

 

Elyin frowned, "What's the chance of failure?"

 

Andrew shrugged, "I... dunno. one percent chance of instant death, nine percent chance of random teleport, ten percent chance it just fails." He held out a hand flat and wiggled it from side to side, "Rough estimate. Eighty percent chance I get you all home, safe and sound? Maybe ninety. I'm pulling this out of thin air. It's my best guess."

 

Elyin looked at the children, then back to Andrew, "And the alternative is a trip that could take months through hostile countries where we are treated as property. The chance of surviving THAT is way less than eighty percent."

 

Andrew thought for a second, then nodded, "Good point." He took a deep breath and eyed the scroll, "Damnit. This is gonna hurt." He blinked, "Wait a sec..." He turned to Elyin, "Say... Elves are good with magic, right? Do you know anyone willing to reimburse me for the scroll?"

 

Elyin suddenly went pale. The corner of her mouth twitched as sweat started to form on her brow, "Uhh... YES! Yes, I do! Child's play!" She forced a nervous smile.

 

Andrew sighed, "Yer a lousy liar, but that's fine. If I thought I needed to lie to protect these kids, I might do the same thing." He stood up and looked at everyone, each in turn, "This is an all-or-nothing situation. You either all agree, or we don't use the scroll. Chances are we'll get there safely, but if I screw up, there is a non-zero chance we all might die. A small chance we wind up someplace random. Alive... but lost." He let his words sink in, "Let's see a show of hands."

 

 

 

 

 

Five hands shot up.

 

---

 

This did not look like Elyin's home.

 

 

 

 

 

The seven appeared in a large room that was huge and round. It was easily half the size of a football stadium with a domed roof. The far wall in front of where they arrived had a set of massive metallic doors and above it was a section of the wall that had been made transparent. It was hard to make out the humanoids watching them on the other side of what appeared to be an observation room.

 

What was more pressing were the half dozen greater Earth Elementals towering over the group in a threatening manner.

 

"CRAP! {DISMISSAL!}" Andrew pointed his chain rod as he cast a spell.

 

Nothing happened.

 

Andrew heard someone shout, "OW!"

 

Andrew turned to see that Miriam had tried to take to the air but instead dropped straight to the ground in front of him. The kids were all clustered together with Elyin looking around. They all appeared to be frozen in shock.

 

Andrew cried out, "A-M-F!" And ran for the nearest elemental. He deftly leaped into the air, hit the ground hands first, did a forward roll, and shot between the towering giant's legs. He might be in an anti-magic field, but that's the reason why he wanted so many levels in Clever Gladiator. All the unarmed classes were built to work without equipment or magic, so when magic and psionics failed, he still had a few tricks up his sleeve.

 

The towering pile of rock was too slow to hit Andrew as he rolled past. When he came to a stop he held up two middle fingers to the six creatures and shouted out in one of the many languages he took at creation: Terran, the language of the elemental plane of earth.

 

"[Your Mother Was A Kitty Litter Elemental And Your Summoners Made You Out Of Cat Turds!]"

 

It turns out drawing aggro is one of the few things Andrew was naturally good at. All six of the elementals turned to focus on Andrew and started moving in his direction.

 

"I'll buy you as much time as I can! You guys need to find-"

 

Andrew was cut off by a booming voice that filled the room in Elvish, "[Do Not Move. You Have Illegally Teleported Into The City Of Ana Seline. You Are Under-]" The voice stopped. The elementals stopped moving as well. Everything went still.

 

"[Captain?]"

 

Andrew raised his hands slowly and stood there, waiting to see what would happen. He looked around and spoke with confidence he didn't feel, "Uhh... Yes! Captain. I'm a captain. Captain... Quaalude of the H.M.S. Lollypop." He tried to look friendly as he looked up at the observation window, "It's a good ship, the Lollypop."

 

The main doors slowly opened. They were massive, reinforced, and quite wide. As they opened, a squad of heavily armed elves with polearms came marching in. They were all dressed in gleaming, silvery armor. The leader wore a suit that appeared to be made of polished moonlight, the way it was glowing. He marched straight for the group of children and Elyin. The leader stopped and took off his helmet, handing it to the man next to him.

 

"[Captain Elyin?]" The leader looked shocked to see her.

 

Elyin replied, "Kharis?" and got to take a single step closer before she was abruptly hugged. The atmosphere immediately relaxed.

 

Andrew slowly came walking back over, keeping his hands where everyone could see them, "So... we all good?"

 

Abruptly one of the guards called out, "[IMP!]" and a bunch of long pointy weapons were pointed at Miriam.

 

Andrew jumped forward the last few feet to scoop her up and hold her protectively, "WHOA WHOA WHOA! Everything's cool!" He looked imploringly at Elyin, "C'mon, CAPTAIN." He stressed her title through gritted teeth, "Back me up here?"

 

Kharis looked unhappy about what was going on and pushed Elyin away, "[Wait. You are Captain Elyin, right?]"

 

Elyin blinked at the question, then had a look of dawning realization, "[Ah. Yes. Standard procedures.]" She nodded slowly, "[I understand entirely. Yes, I am Elyin. I didn't die. I was captured and sold into slavery.]" She pointed at Andrew, "[This man rescued me and these children, then teleported us here." She pointed at Miriam, "[That's his familiar, but she doesn't appear to be evil. I think she was hit with a crown of opposite alignment.]"

 

The squad leader nodded and took in this information with little reaction, "[You understand that I must consider the possibility you could be mind controlled, possessed, or some sort of simulacrum.]"

 

Elyin nodded, "[Of course.] She turned to Andrew, "I know this is difficult to explain, but I've been gone a long time. They will have to detain us and confirm our stories first."

 

"I understand what is going on." He forced a smile that didn't reach his eyes, "But I'm still unhappy about this." He glanced around the room, "I'm assuming teleport trap?"

 

Elyin nodded, "Yes. I... didn't tell you because I was afraid you wouldn't teleport us here."

 

Andrew nodded right back, "Yeah! Damn straight! You could have picked a village or somewhere I could have dropped you off!" He gestured around the room, "What's the deal?"

 

"Relax. It's fine. You need to understand, you are an opportunity I can't let get away. You see-"

 

"OPPORTUNITY???" Andrew cut her off with an outburst.

 

"ENOUGH." Kharis shouted over everyone, "No more talking! Don't make me hit you with a silence spell." He snapped his fingers and pointed at Andrew. One of the soldiers stepped forward with manacles, "You will be detained in an anti-magic cell until my superiors figure out what is to be done with you."

 

"Great." Andrew turned to Elyin, "Do you think the reason Elves get called knife ears is because you stab people in the back?"

 

Elyin looked shocked, "No! You-" but she was cut off with a hand gesture from Kharis.

 

Andrew glanced down at Miriam and muttered to her in their shared language.

 

 

 

 

 

"[Yeah, using the teleport scroll was the right call.]"