"What are you doing?"

It took a good five minutes before the figure started to suspect that something odd was happening. Andrew had been repeatedly advancing to the second level and then reverting to the first, causing the calculator to react erratically. As he spent his character points and adjusted his stats, Andrew began to clarify the situation, "I've got eleven levels to spend, correct? The three bloodlines come with penalty levels that you must offset. It costs three levels for the crown, two for the greater, and one for the lesser, totaling six levels. I'm simply choosing to pay them off one by one, starting from the first level." His eyes glimmered with a hint of greed as he concluded, "That gives me six total bloodline penalty levels."

The outline noticed the strange emphasis on the word 'penalty', but decided to ignore it, "You technically advance to the second level seven times?" There was a pause as the figure did some math in its head, "Wait a minute... So you DID use all eleven levels."

"Exactly. Now my first level is psychic, but I'll be taking the alternate class version, Arcane Psychic, so I can learn arcane spells as psychic versions. My second level will be Librarian, but I'll be taking the alternate version Divine Librarian, follower of Asclepius, the god of crossroads and comfort."

"Huh? A psychic power manifester who pretends to be an arcane spellcaster and an arcane spellcaster who pretends to be a cleric?" She tilted her head to the side, "Why not just be a wizard priest? A hell of a lot simpler and there are no penalties."

Andrew looked up, "The base spell lists are too limited. These classes have access to the spell lists of ALL arcane and ALL divine, except the most advanced. I'll give up ninth circle spells for access to EVERY spell list of EVERY class." He raised a finger, "Plus arcane psychics can still buy from the psychic power list, it just costs extra experience."

The outline nodded, "Huh? Well... You certainly will have a diversity of options. It's like being a sage, in a way. I think you'd be better off just being a sage. However, you are still multiclassing different caster types. You're not going to advance fast in either."

"Oh, don't worry about that. I'm taking divine mind at the third level."

"Ah. I wanted to talk to you about that. You can't do that. You can't take an advanced class until sixth. You don't qualify."

Andrew pointed at the three bloodlines, "Because bloodline penalties reduce your level, they compensate by increasing the maximums of your baseline. In this case, the six levels count towards my maximum skill limits. So with six penalty levels, I can buy up my skills to qualify for the advanced class, because the only reason you have to take divine mind at sixth is because that's the soonest you can buy psionic knowledge high enough."

"The penalty levels also count towards advancing class abilities as long as they are level-dependent. For example, it doesn't count toward what circle spells I can cast, but it DOES count for the maximum possible level of the power I could manifest." Andrew looked up, "Manifesting is a different mechanic instead of spell casting. It's why I want to be able to manifest arcane spells instead of casting them." He went back to the character sheet, "Also, I'm taking the sacrificial magic feature, so I can sacrifice two lesser spells to circle-break a spell one circle higher. Thus I can cast second circle spells of both arcane, psionic, and divine nature, therefore, qualifying for divine mind at third."

"But you need to be able to cast, not manifest." The figure looked like it was dizzy after Andrew's explanation, "You have psychic powers, not spells."

"Arcane psychics have arcane/psionic transparency. They are one and the same as far as my character is concerned. Arcane psychics count as psychics and arcane spell casters. I'm whichever one I need to be. I can be one or the other, or both at the same time. That's how transparency works."

"Huh?" The outline slammed her hands down on the table and flipped the windows around. She examined the windows for several minutes checking several new windows she opened to review the rules. Eventually, she turned the windows back to face Andrew, "You... are correct."

Andrew took his victory in stride, "Next is obolmancer."

The outline leaned over the desk, "Huh? Oh yes. Now I remember. That one confused me. You can only take that class if you are a restless spirit. Are you sure you didn't mean Idolmancer?"

Andrew shook his head, "Oh no. I meant Obolmancer, alright." He raised a finger, "It is assumed I died at third, then advanced as a ghost for two levels. At that point, I am brought back to life with a death penalty of one level, which I pay with my second level of Obolmancer by using the resurrection level respend option. That puts me back at fourth level and alive." He pointed at the window that included his application, "I did clarify that I wanted an unusual backstory in my application." He shrugged, "Technically all this is just fluff text and has no effect on my character as a final product, but it is important to make sure I qualify for the class."

The figure stabbed a finger at the same character window, "But when you are brought back to life, you have to re-spend that class level! What's the point?

"No, I don't."

Froze for several seconds before letting out an exasperated, "HUH?" It was a sound the figure realized it was making far too often in this conversation.

Andrew flipped a window around, "I have the OPTION of re-spending and getting a different class. I can KEEP my level of obolmancer if I want."

"Why would-" The figure desperately scanned the character sheet, trying to figure out what insane loophole this obscure class could possibly abuse.

Andrew cut her off, "Because obolmancer adds to the caster level of another class of my choosing... as a class ABILITY."

The figure suddenly pulled away as she did the math in her head, "Hold it... Are you saying-"

Andrew explained in a cheerful voice while pointing at each section in turn, "The six sacrificed levels add to my obolmancer class ability, giving me a total plus seven to ANOTHER spellcasting class. I assign those levels to Divine Mind. Divine mind adds a caster level to a divine class and a psionic class for each level it has." He swept his finger over to the final window, "In this case, Arcane Psychic and Divine Librarian. Add seven levels to divine mind and you get to add eight to each of the other two classes and thus-"

The figure cut Andrew off and finished what he was saying, "Thus at fourth-level, you are a ninth-level arcane psychic and ninth-level divine librarian with access to fifth-circle spells in both" She sounded stunned, "You managed to advance five levels past where you should be in not one, but TWO caster classes?

Andrew nodded, "Originally, I was going to cheese arcane mind to double advance arcane psychic to seventeenth-level, but I like having options and I figured being an archmentat slash archmage at fourth level would never have gotten approved, so I went the divine mind route instead."

The figure sounded annoyed, "What are you talking about? You can't-" She cut herself off, "Wait... Arcane psychics have arcane psionic transparency." The figure suddenly realized how much more broken this build COULD have been.

"The road not taken." Andrew cleared his throat, "Anyway, last but not least, I'm taking Martial Artist at fifth level, but as the alternate class, clever gladiator. For my fifth level feature, I take psychic pugilist, so all my psionic levels add to my martial artist levels for calculating martial artist abilities."

The grey outline visibly paled.

"The six penalty levels add to Clever Gladiator for calculating abilities, they also add to my Arcane Psychic and Divine Mind for the purpose of adding to martial artist abilities, thanks to psychic pugilist, which means-"

She cut him off and spoke in a voice that sounded both hollow and distant, "You are only a first-level martial artist, but your martial artist abilities are that of someone who has reached level twenty-one." She looked up to stare at him. The next two words she spoke were dripping with dread, "Anything else?"

Andrew nodded, "I have a bonus feature I have not spent yet because I'm an ordinary human." The figure let out a derisive snort at the word 'ordinary'. Andrew ignored her and continued, "I wait until the fifth level to spend it."

The outline cringed.

"Bonus Familiar!" Andrew spoke with no small amount of joy in anticipation of this reveal, "Because I bought it as a feature, its level is equal to the sum of all my class levels, not just one class. I have five classes, and the six penalty levels increase each one to seven for calculating my familiar, because the level for calculating my familiar is a class feature."

"You... have a level thirty-five familiar?" At this point, the figure had lost all emotion from its voice, having been shocked far too many times, "No no no... Of course, you have a thirty-fifth level familiar."

Andrew shook his head, "What? No. That'd be silly. Anything over twenty is a waste. No. What I'm doing is spending my third-level bonus feature to get greater familiar. With that, I'll be getting a mirror imp which comes with a sixteen-level penalty. My familar will only be nineteenth level."

"You can only take a familiar as the same alignment as you."

Andrew raised a finger, "Unless it's a corruptor class devil, in which case, it will ignore my alignment and be my familiar no matter what."

The outline frowned and began to furiously check through her database. Upon finding the entry, her hand started to tremble, "This... this THING." She looked up, "Are you INSANE? It-"

Andrew cut her off, "-Is in my application!" He started to tap the desk to emphasize each word, "I wrote everything down and outlined everything. I was very specific. I included over twenty pages of notes detailing exactly what I was building." He chuckled softly at the irony of what he said next.

"I guess someone didn't bother reading it."

The outline let out a rather annoyed-sounding sigh, "FINE." She gestured by rolling her hand in the air, "Finish up the specifics, I guess."

He nodded, "I already submitted the spell and psychic ability list along with my equipment. I see no reason to change it."

She looked over the character for quite a while then finally looked up, "I feel the need to warn you, You are going to be quite the glass cannon."

He nodded, "That... is the downside to this build. I really can't take a hit. Which is why I need to be a martial artist. I'm going to need all the dodge bonuses I can get, and fortunately, Arcane Psychic, Divine Librarian, and Clever Gladiator all use intelligence as their primary stat. The more intelligent I am, the easier it will be for me to avoid getting hit." 

The outline let out a long sigh, "Well, you certainly came up with a unique build, I'll give you that." She looked at him intently, "I suspect you are still going to be in the support role, yes? You aren't going to bait and switch us?"

"Of course." Andrew pointed at the background section of his application, "I said I was going to be support. I never lied about that. I just want to be the BEST support character possible. I figure having access to any arcane, divine, or psionic power in any possible combination is the best way to do that." He furrowed his eyebrows, "I suppose the main problem is going to be finding good people to party with, but that shouldn't be too hard."

"Very well. Now. About your cheat ability..."

"Hold it. My what now?"

"Your cheat ability. We give everyone who-"

"No."

"What?"

"I'm not a cheater. I don't cheat. I don't cheat EVER. I am, admittedly, a goddamn, power-gaming, rules-lawyering, munchkin who abuses the system like it was a red-headed stepchild, but I do NOT cheat."

"Well, that's just what we call it." The outline laughed nervously, "It's not really a 'cheat' because we approve of giving it to you. You see-"

Andrew crossed his ethereal arms, "And what is the ability categorized as?" He gestured at the character sheet to indicate he wanted to know where it would be displayed.

The outline was quiet for a bit, then softly answered, "A cheat ability."

Andrew shook his head, "No. Sorry. But I'll be just fine with my highly abused character, thank you very much."

"But-!"

"NO." Andrew slapped his hand down on the desk, "I refuse to take a cheat ability! Period. END of CONVERSATION. I am so MANY things, but I am NOT a cheater!"

The outline sputtered. She looked even more shocked with the abrupt appearance of a window, floating in the air facing so only she could see it. She seemed shaken by its contents. With a trembling finger, she touched the floating window and it vanished.

She cleared her throat, "The higher-ups have approved waving the cheat ability. You... will enter your new world as is."

Andrew nodded and sounded relieved, "Thanks. I know it might sound odd, but it is a matter of pride for me. I couldn't sleep at night if I was a cheater."

The outline nodded, "Very well." She pressed a square on her desk, "Goodbye and good luck." A second later, Andrew vanished.

Immediately afterward she tapped the table several times and a window appeared on her desk. Another grey outline looked up from it, "Something wrong?"

"What in the nine layers of HELL is going on? Why was he let out of here without a cheat ability? How is the control unit supposed to-"

"THAT." The new outline said, cutting off the subordinate in mid-rant, "Is not your problem. Nor your concern."

The interviewer tapped her chest, "Hey. Just as long as it doesn't come back to haunt me. Whatever happens is NOT my fault."

The window outline replied, "Yes, yes, of course, of course. I'll send you a memo clearly stating this isn't your call and that whatever happens isn't your responsibility."

The outline sitting at the desk seemed mollified, "Well... alright then." The window winked out. The interviewer took a deep sigh, "This is going to end badly. I just know it."

She started reviewing her next case file...

But this time...

She read everything.

TWICE.