"Uhhh... What's going on?"

 

 

 

 

Andrew walked in on three children lying on a blanket and an elf woman lying prostrate on the ground, forehead pressed to the soil as she trembled with her hands folded in prayer while she mumbled, "Please" over and over.

 

Miriam hovered nearby, "Well, she rushed in, saw me, then threw herself on the ground and has been doing that ever since. I can't get through to her."

 

Andrew blinked and stared at the woman. He motioned towards Miriam to back off, "Uhhh... look. I'll fix this." He walked over to the first child and rolled her over.

 

The woman looked up and screamed, "NO!"

 

Andrew snapped his head around to look at her, "You WANT me to leave the curse on her? When they wake up, they'll try to kill themselves, just like you did. You WANT that?"

 

The woman slowly sat up, looking very confused, "But... why would you... help?"

 

Andrew squinted, "Be... 'cause it's the right thing to do." He shook his head, "After this, I'm going to be down to divine spells, so everyone just chillax. I need to do this while... oh wait. I know a way to save on power." He pulled his chain rod out and aimed it at the children and fired it off twice in quick succession, "{Remove curse} {Erase}" Both times a ray of light lanced out to one child, then the other two. Andrew went to check on them, then looked up to the woman, "See? Curse gone, Wizard's Sigil poof." He gave a reassuring smile, "All better." 

 

Miriam blinked, "What was that?" She jogged her chin towards the rod.

 

Andrew held it up, "Metamagic rod. It can modify any spell of a third circle or less to allow it to hit multiple targets. It's based on the chain lightning spell, I believe. Only works three times a day, so now it's used up." He slipped it into his backpack, then turned back to the woman, "Okay, I want you to stay here. I'll be back in about ten minutes. I'm going to go get Tiri and bring her back here." He pointed at the ground then snapped his fingers, "Oh, almost forgot. Are there any more? Anyone who might be away from the campsite? There are ten dead in total, but if there are more, we can't stay here."

 

The woman seemed very confused, "So... you can... sacrifice us all at once?"

 

Andrew raised an eyebrow, "Sacrifice? Why would I sacrifice you?" He wiggled his fingers as if they were people running away, "I'm setting you FREE."

 

She slowly pointed at Miriam, "You... have a mirror imp."

 

Miriam took a sharp intake of breath. Andrew glared at her. Miriam shook her head, "I didn't tell her!"

 

Andrew facepalmed, "Let me guess, you have outer planar lore?" He took a deep breath then dropped his hand while he forced a smile, "Yes, she's a mirror imp. BUT NO..." He held up his hand flat towards her, "She isn't evil and neither am I. I'll prove it when I get back." He stood up and looked concerned while he tried to determine what the woman was thinking, "Please. The place I have Tiri inside will only last a few more hours. I have to go get her before the spell wears off. Can you PLEASE wait here until I get back? I'll be quick. I swear." He pointed at the children, "When I cure the poison to wake them up, it'll have to be all at once."

 

Elyin's eyes darted around, but eventually, she nodded and looked like she had given up. It wasn't that she trusted him. She was acting more like she just didn't have the strength to fight anymore.

 

Andrew turned to Miriam, "Watch over them. This isn't going to be easy." He took a deep breath, "{Holy Recall}" and vanished.

 

He appeared next to a tree near where he had used the rope trick. He turned to look inside the tree's hollow space and double-check a box inside. It was a box that doubled as a shrine he could target for the purposes of the Holy Recall spell. He rubbed the box as he muttered a short prayer, "Rub-a-dub-bork, thanks for the Port! Yay, Asclepius!" He briefly wondered if the god he was worshiping was getting Andrew's prayers directly, but shook his head and focused on the task at hand, ~Something to address later.~ He pondered.

 

Turning away, Andrew walked ten steps due north, held out both arms, and dispelled the rope trick. The child dropped out of the air into his arms. Fortunately, she was still asleep. He cast fleet feet upon himself, and using his empathic connection to Miriam, aimed for where he felt she was. It took less than five minutes of running to get back to the slaver's camp.

 

He walked in on the woman carefully tending to the children and acting extremely twitchy. When Andrew walked in holding Tiri in his arms, the woman, leaped up, rushed over, and took the girl from him. She was trembling as she checked the child over for injuries, eventually laying her next to the others. Andrew stood there, watching her as she all but ignored him, before eventually muttering, "And you're welcome." He shrugged and announced, "I don't have enough cure poison spells, but we don't have time to wait for it to wear off, in case trouble is on its way." He scratched his chin a bit, then snapped his fingers, "Ah. That's what we can do." He turned to Miriam, "Okay, I'm going to cast a summon spell through you and you're going to summon a unicorn."

 

Miriam blinked, "Say what now?"

 

Andrew shrugged, "Only a chaotic good person can summon a unicorn. I'm Lawful good, so it won't work."

 

Miriam went quiet.

 

Andrew started to squint, "What?"

 

"Uhh... you know you put alignment detection in that headband you gave me, right?"

 

Andrew nodded, "Yeah... and?"

 

Miriam clicked her tongue, "When... was the last time you looked at yourself with your headband on?"

 

Andrew pulled his headband down, winced as it turned on, then stared at his hands. It took painfully long to work, but eventually, it revealed his alignment: Lawful Neutral.

 

Andrew flipped his headband up, "WHOA! I'm one of the good guys! This-This-This thing is broken!" He took off his headband and started to examine it, checking the intricate layering of enchanting he put into the headband to have the various detection spells all work in tandem, "Clearly I made a mistake somewhere. The detect good spell must be malfunctioning, or it's in conflict with the detect lawful function." He scratched his head as he squinted at it, "Did I use enough experience? Maybe I miscalculated somewhere."

 

Miriam hovered there and stared at Andrew, her eyes flickering towards the woman and back towards Andrew, "Uhhhh... You know..."

 

Andrew looked up with a glare, "HEY." He pointed at Miriam, "I can cast spells through you and yet I don't see no unicorn!" He snapped his fingers a few times, "My chosen religion allows me to default to summoning with my divine spells, so Get Summoning!"

 

Miriam bit her lip for a second, "Uhhh... okay." She turned to the open space in the tent, "{Familiar recast: summon monster circle four}" The area dimpled for a second, and over the next six seconds, the spirit of a unicorn from the celestial realms appeared.

 

Elyin seemed both impressed and shocked as if this was an impossibility. To her, reality itself was broken, "Hu-hu-hu... HOW???"

 

Miriam shrugged and pointed at Andrew, "Him. He summoned me and then reformated my existence into making me chaotic good."

 

The unicorn pawed the ground and looked around. She seemed quite intelligent for a white horse with a single horn sticking out of her forehead. She looked at the children and seemed quite distraught.

 

Andrew stepped up to the unicorn, "Okay, I need you to cure poison with-" He didn't get to finish as it took a threatening step towards him. Andrew backed up, "HEY! What the HECK? I-"

 

Miriam intervened by interposing her between the two, her hands held up defensively, "Whoa whoa WHOA there!" She smiled softly, "He's okay! He's just trying to help..." She glanced over her shoulder at Andrew, then turned back to the unicorn, "In his own way." The unicorn let out a snort and eyed Andrew.

 

Andrew frowned at the unicorn, "What the heck is your problem?" He hooked a thumb at his chest, "I'm the guy supplying the juice to summon you here so you can cure these kids!"

 

Miriam gave Andrew a patronizing smile then turned back to the unicorn, "What he said. I had to stab them with my sleep poison to stop them from killing themselves, but that's fixed now." She wiggled her tail in the air, "Think you could counter the poison?"

 

The unicorn snorted while narrowing her eyes at Andrew. She nodded once then proceeded to touch her horn to one child after another.

 

"[What's her problem?]" Andrew muttered out of the side of his mouth to Miriam in their shared familiar tongue.

 

Miriam turned back to him, "[Unicorns can detect good, I believe.]" She pressed her lips together to form a thin line and just stared at Andrew, letting the silence drag on.

 

Andrew's scowl only deepened until he abruptly smacked his forehead, "OH MY GOD! The reformatting!" He turned away as he buried his face in his hands and moaned, "Oh crap! That must have been an evil act! CRAP!" He made a fist and smacked himself in the forehead, "I am so stupid-stupid-stupid!" He put his hands on his hips and stared at the tent wall, "That's when it must have happened." He shook his head, "Damnit. Ah well, I'm sure I'll shift back to good soon enough, what with all these good deads I'm doing."

 

The woman looked at Andrew's back, then over to the Miriam. Miriam forced a smile and shrugged helplessly while mouthing the words: 'I'm just the familiar'.

 

Andrew made a fist and bounced it against his lips, "Huh... I think... I'll need to start putting aside ten percent of my loot to donate to the church. That should fix it."

 

The unicorn had just finished reviving the last of the children as Andrew uttered this statement. Miriam squinted at the back of Andrew's head in disbelief.

 

Miriam muttered under her breath, "I don't think alignment shifts work that way."

 

 

 

 

 

The unicorn turned to Miriam, looked disappointed, closed her eyes, and sadly shook her head.