It has been three months since the purple flash. I think. Sometimes it's hard to keep track of all the things going on in my brain. I've gotten used to living in this snowy forest, and I've made considerable progress in a number of areas.

First, my walking. My left leg has survived and somewhat healed through the magical brace, and I can now walk without it. Appearance wise, it probably looks, well, unsightly, but the leg functions well and I can manage walking with a moderate limp. Additionally, my mana pulses have become more accurate, and practically natural to me. I find myself subconsciously doing it, which means I can focus on other things, which is wonderful.

Depending on my mood, I switch between my mana pulse technique and a hybrid one involving a long branch I acquired. This branch acts as both a hiking stick and a sort of medically acquired white cane for me. If I'm unsure about the distance of something, this comes in handy. I've affectionately kept it for a while now, it's suitably sturdy for my needs.

The natural mana pulse is the same for my hands too. I'm touching everything, and shooting out my mana into whatever I can. This has led to a number of hand injuries though. There's probably scars on my hands, and my index finger on my right hand is broken, so I applied a magical brace to that so it could recover.

In regards to the rest of my health, I have had access to a suitable amount of food and water, and my resting bubble barrier has served me well. It's a bit disorienting to wake up suddenly when a small animal enters my zone, but if anything, that's just food for my next meal.

I've been able to hunt various critters, from rodents to horned rabbits, and one time, a bird. Most I take out with my bare hands, but occasionally I do use a sharpened stick to end the job. My cooking is very bland. I just roast everything over a fire. I can't be bothered to do much else. I think I've gained a little bit of weight, but I'm still thin and bony. Meals are inconsistent after all.

With the land animals that I did catch I was able to haphazardly sew together a new set of clothing using external mana as threads. What a rare application of a noble lady's skills. My outfit is a simple shirt and pants combo, made from the felts of various horned rabbits. The colors probably clash, but it's fluffy enough to be warmer than what I had.

With proper food, water, clothing, and debatable rest, I've been able to recover well. The burns around my eyes no longer sting and the scarring seems to be minor. The slight roughness of the area is likely an indication of the skin being a bit discolored. I'm not trying to impress anyone with my face anyways though. Speaking of, the gash on the left side of my face has settled in and no longer bleeds. Hair care has surprisingly been my most annoying issue. This girl's hair runs to the middle of her back, but when I try to cut it, I get a primal urge to stop myself. It reminds me of my first life when I couldn't suppress an “ohohoho” laugh in front of the heroine. This body is weirdly stubborn about random things.

Because of my inherent adherence to make my life easier, my hair is tangled, and matted, and hard to wash. What an annoyance. I hope my hair snags on something and then I'm forced to cut it. Surely this body will agree with me then.

Since it has been three months, it's clear that this blindness is indeed permanent. Though, I have discovered some interesting things regarding it. I decided one day to try and pour mana into my eyes, and the colors that sometimes flash in my darkness filled vision disappeared. There were no purples or greens or reds. I found that odd. My very small sense of some color depleted because of my mana.

Intrigued, I tried the reverse, and tried to see if there was any mana I could pull from my eyes, and what resulted was an instant attack on my senses.

It felt as if I could see beyond the physical. I sensed mana all over, more than I ever could, and call me crazy, but I saw spirits. But taking that all gave me a splitting headache. It felt like death, more so than any other of my ends before. Through slow reversals of my mana I tested it again, and I figured out that I'm not blind because I can't see anything. I'm blind because I see too much.

I think the residual haywire mana from the flash has now found its place in my eyes, and my body, not knowing what to do with it, is blocking that mana with its own, causing a blockage of my vision. It's an incredibly intriguing situation… but I can't do anything to change it, nor can I view this world beyond, so I'm just stuck with the negative consequences. Fun.

Overall, my life has been an improvement since day 1. Certainly better than a lot of the alternatives, even with my current issues. This was technically the harder route to go, but with the severity of the flash, I really didn't want to be some noble’s tool when the children and I were found. Thanks, Mr. Blue Haired Boy, for your unwilling sacrifice. I'll thank you by trying to remember your name one time.

I think it's about time I work my way outwards from this forest though. My instincts say that staying in this place for too long will only lead to trouble. Given the time that it takes for noble processes to complete themselves and royal figureheads to mobilize forces for smaller projects, I'm guessing people are going to try and get to the actual truth behind the flash. My decoy likely isn't going to last. And that means more trouble for me.

No thanks.

Throughout these three months, I've traveled around this forest every day, internally mapping it out in my head by using the stream I found as a starting point. I mark specific locations and landmarks with my mana signature, making sure it's artificially altered from my usual one. This will stop it from being linked to the flash and the boy. It's a slow and methodical process, and it causes me to travel practically every waking hour, but it has been worth it.

Before I leave this forest, I want to test myself. There's a powerful hibernating monster of some kind that lives here. It seems to have the general shape of a bear, and all it has been doing is sleeping in a cave.

This forest is in the far north, so it snows all the time, and from my other lives, I know that hibernating creatures in this area sleep most of the year because of that. This means that I have a chance to strike it while it's sleeping. So I want to. I want to see if I can hold my own in my current state, at least against a moderately strong monster like this one.

It takes me half a day to reach its lair. This is the one part of the forest I haven't fully explored, so as I step inside I take it slow… not that I needed to. This cave isn't big at all. I press my hand into the cave wall and send out my mana pulses, but my mana quickly wraps around and heads back in my direction. This is maybe the size of a fast food chain restaurant, and the ceilings are just high enough so that a big monster wouldn't bump its head.

But… this is a bear cave right? If that monster bear stands on its hind legs, it'll hurt itself, and if I attack it from the mouth of the cave it has no escape or room to wiggle unless it charges right at me. Huh. This seems like such an easy win, I almost don't want to kill it. Yet, I know full well that I should not take things as they are. Whether in the world of humans or in the wild, things are never as easy as they seem, and things that seem surface level always have a hidden danger to them.

There's a possibility that this monster bear is smarter and stronger than it looks. Perhaps it sees no need to give itself room, because it feels that it can handle confrontation well. Maybe the cave it chose was purposely small because it wants to lure in people who think it would be an easy kill. I once underestimated a slime and had to live the rest of that life missing an arm. It's amazing how much a self-satisfying conclusion can quickly present its consequences.

With that in mind, I step right outside to the entrance of the cave, and start directing a generous amount of mana to my right palm. I'll blast this thing from a distance and then dodge if it survives. As I prepare my magic, I weave in multiple artificial mana signatures to throw off anyone investigating afterwards, and I temporarily embed these signatures into my main mana flow, so I don't need to keep doing this if a fight with this thing starts. After about two minutes, I let loose, and a large stream of mana heads into the cave with a rumble. After a loud crash I quickly attune my hearing and sense for movement of the bear’s mana channels.

There's nothing? Was it weaker than I thought?

I feel a chilling breeze in a split second and instinctually duck my whole body. What follows is a freezing slash that grazes the ends of my long hair. What the heck?!

I run and jump back a few paces. Did the bear move that quickly and without me noticing it at all? I pour more mana into my ears and my magic senses. Where is this thing? It's quiet…

And then I hear a roar, followed by a burst of chill everywhere. My arms and legs are kissed by constant flurries of snow as I instinctually shield myself, and the wind turns rough in an instant. A sudden blizzard? This… this isn't an Elderfrost Bear is it? The bear that can summon blizzards with its breath, the bear that has icicles growing on its claws, and the bear that coats its mana channels in ice when threatened so it can't be detected? The Duke, my father, hunted one of these in some of my earlier lives when it threatened a part of his territory, and it was always an ordeal he consistently took on alone, saying it was much too dangerous for anyone else to join him.

It's very much possible this is the same beast he hunted then. Damn. I have a talent for putting myself in unfavorable situations. Like father, like daughter, I suppose. Now that I'm here, I'll have to put in more effort than I thought.

I was already without sight, so this blizzard doesn't blind me anymore than I already was, but I can't sense its frozen mana channels, which means I'm stuck with sound. In a howling blizzard. I transfer the mana I allocated to my magic senses all into my ears. The howling in my head grows as I take in the struggling sounds of the forest amidst the storm. It'll take about ten minutes, but I should be able to selectively hear my opponent if I compartmentalize my hearing. I'll use my mana to place all the sounds of the forest in one ear, blizzard and all, and then hear specifically the bear in my other. If I mute the forest ear, the bear ear will allow me to anticipate its general movements. This means I need to hold off this thing until then, as I can't really fight back right now.

I give myself a quadruple-layer magic barrier. This one is much more intense than the protection I gave to the children, and it likely is making me glow an intense bright purple, but that's the result I want. I'll lure this bear with my defensive magic, like a moth to the flame.

I blink as snow gets in my eyes and I'm already down to three barriers. How fast is this thing? You'd think it be a lumbering beast with how a bear is built, but it's silent and strikes at the first moment of weakness.

It doesn't seem to know I'm blind, so maybe it thinks that I'm a perfect target when I close my eyes. Interesting. I test it and close my eyes again.

I'm down to two barriers. Heh. This'll work for now. I force my eyes to stay open as I methodically sort out the sounds of the forest. Chittering squirrels, creaking branches, snapping twigs, birds protecting their eggs, there's not a single thing I will miss. I even get the patterns of the wind. The bear doesn't attack me once. It's very patient. I can't help but feel as if this situation perfectly encapsulates the notion of “keep your eyes on the enemy”.

It takes me fifteen minutes to sort out the sounds of the forest. Slower than what I would have liked, but the bear’s behavior has thankfully remained unchanged. I rely on my left ear to listen to the bear, and mute the remainder of sounds in my right ear. I think there was some superstition in this world about the left ear ringing when danger is close, and the right ear ringing when something good was coming. I have no idea if there's magical evidence behind that, but if it'll help me now, I'll gladly indulge in the superstition.

The bear’s steps are methodical and soft. It takes it two minutes to circle around me completely. I can hear its cold and hearty breathing, even as it stands a fair distance away. If it can close that much of a distance in a second, then I can conclude that attacking it first won't work. I'll need to rely solely on counterattacks.

I blink. One barrier left.

Now that I hear the bear, I realize that it's a straightforward swipe attack. It charges at me, slashes me, and then keeps traveling to the opposite side of the clearing we're in, maintaining its prowling circumference as it circles me once more.

I think I have a pretty great idea now. I grip my hiking stick tight as I prepare to set off a mana pulse from my feet, one that'll match the circumference that the bear has set. I blink the final time only to, at the same moment, release that mana pulse and reach out my hand. I grab the bear as it slashes me. Using my hiking stick, I push myself onto the bear’s back and then stab it with the same stick so that I have a grip on it. I hit it near the bottom of the neck, at the nape. I use the stick as my handle and support. Bears notoriously cannot scratch their own back, which means I am now out of reach of its claws, as long as I stay right here.

The bear, understandably annoyed by this development, starts to shake around and roar in anger. I feel the freezing temperature drop lower. The blizzard has probably intensified. I'm sure the howling wind must be deafening by now.

I use mana to stiffen my hand joints and bones and hold onto the stick for dear life. I lock my bare feet in place on the bear’s back and then create mana sickles off of my toes, as a form of makeshift claws, and dig into the bear’s fur and skin. I'm rooted into it now, there's no way in hell I'm letting go!

The bear struggles some more, and eventually stands on its hind legs, stumbling backwards towards a tree. Wait wait wait. It's not going to try and scratch its back with me on it, right? I'd rather not become a sandwich like this!

I lurch my body to the side using the stick I embedded into the bear’s nape. Since I have mana flowing through me, and because I am rooted to the bear, the bear and I spin around in a frenzy instead. We tumble to the side, and I quickly unroot myself so I don't get crushed.

This is my chance, I'm glad I had the foresight to send out a mana pulse when I started this. Hearing my enemy’s ragged breaths I start running in the heavy snow. I direct mana into my hands. Time to beat the shit out of this thing.

My punches are fundamentally weak, this is a child's body after all, but the mana I have behind them is strong. I make sure the mana is sharp so that it rips through its skin. I feel the blows ripple through the bear, and I'm able to get about 30 blows in before my arms suddenly get encased in ice. I hear the slight crunch of snow before a sharp pain rings out through my back. I've been scratched by its claws.

Ahh, you bastard, you wanted me to let my guard down, huh? I guess we both gave each other back injuries to deal with. I hear the bear freeze over the wounds I gave it when I was punching it. So the bear knows how to temporarily stop its bleeding. How annoying.

It's back to the same circling it was doing at the beginning. I'm making sure to keep my eyes open. The bear still has the stick stuck in its nape. I'll use that again, but a bit differently than I did before. Feeling out how much mana I can manage to burn right now, I decide that I'll need to end it here if I don't want any adverse effects afterwards. Which I clearly don't. My weaker leg is already aching a bit, and now that I've directed my heated mana to melt the ice on my arms, I can feel the full force of the blizzard around us.

I set up two barriers, steadying myself after the effort I've spent. I maintain the heated mana in my arms and really focus on the bear’s soft, snow-crunching steps in my left ear. I take a deep, suffocating, frigid breath.

And then I close my eyes.

The bear makes its move, and so do I. I don't risk jumping on the bear again. I don't have my stick and it's already seen that trick, so I duck under it as I hear the swipe coming, producing heated mana sickles in my hands, slicing off the frozen parts of its claws. My barriers are slashed away in the process. A couple of scratches on my arms aside, it's successful. I take two of the icicle claws and stab the bear in its abdomen multiple times, and then into its hind leg, once again locking myself to it. The bear stumbles, and I quickly use the icicles as makeshift mountaineering ice axes to make my way up its back. It's like climbing up a portable, fluffy, bloody mountain. I noticed that my heated mana sickles have unfrozen the bear's mana channels which means I can more accurately hit its vital points.

The bear at this point is struggling to get up, reeling from the damage, and I worsen its pain by stabbing the two icicles I have into its eyes. I hear its roar of pain, but I'm not done yet. I grab onto my trusty stick and force my palm into it repeatedly, driving it deeper into the bear.

As a final gambit, the bear musters its remaining strength to launch itself back up to its hind legs, seemingly wanting to fall backwards and flatten me, but I use this momentum to swing around the bear's neck, dragging my stick so that it creates a half-moon incision around its neck from the back to the front. As the bear falls, I lean back and kick off the bear’s chest, using my stick as leverage to steady myself. I lift the stick upwards as a jump off, and am rewarded by being bathed in blood. I hear three thuds in the snow. My body, the bear's body, and then the bear’s head. Decapitation. The battle is won.

The blizzard quickly disperses into light snowfall as I take a long and hard-earned breather. All of my remaining mana, which at that point is very little, is going to basic body processes, and internal heating for warmth.

I'm bloodied and lying in the snow once again huh? I make another bloody snow angel to commemorate the occasion. Perhaps this'll be my personal mark of victory.

Alright time to check my wounds. I sit up and check my body. Light scrape on the knee, and a few cuts on the arms from when I slid under. Feels like some bruises from being thrown around, and then the biggest ones are the slashes on my back from the claws. I sew those together with mana threads, while I leave the rest to heal on their own. It's a makeshift solution, but it'll have to do.

I crush some snow beneath my feet and crouch down to think. What's my next step? I plan to use this bear as a personal feast, I've had very light food recently after all, and I'm sure I won't mind how gamey it tastes.

Perhaps I can use this to make a bearskin cloak? Do I even have the dexterity to do that though? If I inject my mana into it, maybe the cloak can serve as another tool. Like, if I keep the arms on the cloak, could I make them sleeves and have access to icy slashes? I know there are some sets of battle clothing that retain the properties of monsters. Maybe I can brute force a set of my own.

Whatever, I'll just wait and see what happens. I convince my body to cooperate with me, and I drag the bear, both parts of it, back into the cave. I fashion its body so that it looks as if it's staring down any intruders, and I lay down behind it, using its body as a pillow. I made sure to use mana to halt its deterioration, don't worry.

This thing will be my meal tomorrow, and at that time, I'll use its hide to upgrade my outfit with a new accessory. Hopefully that all goes well. I imagine a bearskin cloak would make me appear more intimidating, even if I'm just a little girl at the moment. Other parts I could probably use…. are the bones? Are the bones of an Elderfrost Bear sturdy enough to use as weapons? I should be able to carve them with rocks and mana, so it doesn't hurt to try. Thankfully my trusty support stick survived the bear’s decapitation, so I can maintain that as a tool that I can use in the event that things don't work out. I think I'll try to use the bear’s bones to fashion a dagger, or an axe. Or both! I need to keep the weapons I use light and small, for now.

As I think about my immediate plans, I snuggle into the body of my former adversary and set up a fire for warmth. I deploy my sleep barriers, this time to the entrance of the cave, and scorn whatever being cursed me to this loop before I close my eyes to fall asleep. I'll be doing a lot tomorrow, so hopefully tonight's sleep can go uninterrupted.