Tears rolled down my face as I caressed the amulet Bernand had gifted me all those years ago. It was a weird piece of jewelry, crafted out of Aurumn, a precious alloy made from gold, silver, and mithril, which made it highly susceptible to enchantments. It had cost him a small fortune, only for him to adore it with a much cheaper, amber crystal, the color of his eyes. The magic he had commissioned to be worked into this amulet protected the stone from any damage and would continue doing so even long after I died of old age, but it was the other enchantment that left me in tears every time I touched it.

The amulet was actually a set of two, with his carrying a blue crystal instead, and would, at a limited range, transfer both the warmth of his body as well as the vibration of his heartbeat from one crystal to the other. But now, there was no such thing. The stone was cold and lifeless. It was still beautiful, but it would never stop reminding me over and over again that he was gone, not even leaving behind a body for me to bury. And I… I just felt broken at the thought of that. 

His noble parents had never accepted our love. They had denied me, over and over again, thus driving their own son into a corner he saw no escape from but to run. And so we made our escape, in the middle of the night with little belongings on our hands. He discarded a life one could only dream of for me, who had been a mere maid at his place, tasked with tending to the flowers and healing injuries that came about in daily life or during their intense sword training sessions. It was after one such injury that he first noticed me and things… they quickly escalated from there, with us falling heads over heels for each other.

Our love had lasted almost two years until we stopped at this godforsaken town, where we got talked into joining that twice–cursed fool on his supposedly safe exploration raid. I should have put a stop to it back then when it was still possible. But thanks to his fire magic that had grown quite strong during our adventures together and my own abilities as a healer, we had been prime candidates for such a raid, and it didn’t help either that we had delved into two other dungeons before while trying to make a name for ourselves. Thanks to him pointing out our achievements and others pushing us to join with them, it was way too easy for the man to talk us into accompanying him on his mission.

It was doomed from the start. The paladins were too full of themselves, and quite honestly, barely a single one of the adventures was ready for even the young dungeon that had been promised to us, as even those came with often stronger and more numerous monsters compared to the forest they were used to keeping safe. As such, Aspen — may he be cursed by Lurros to never see another day — had instead tried to keep the casualties low by having so many of us join that even the monsters would have trouble singling us out. But he never calculated that even those rotten beasts could outsmart that retarded brain of his.

He should have stopped the raid after the King of the Mountain came alive and took several of us with it, but no, he just had to continue, only for more monsters to show up, and then even more. It had only been a question of time before we paid another price for his pride and stubbornness and those moments would forever be burned into my memory.

Before my own eyes, Bernard was run down by one of the earth monsters, forced to the ground, and assaulted with a series of vicious bites, all of them answered with painful screams, then desperate and begging cries. But that cursed thing didn’t know such a thing as mercy. It continued attacking, despite me trying my best to heal my love and force the monster away, both at the same time. Though it was only a matter of time for it to be focused down by the men and women surrounding us, any help came too late for Bernand. The wicked beast had taken him with it, forever stealing him away. And I… I hadn’t been myself… It was as if I was seeing all of this happen through the eyes of a stranger.

For minutes, I was trying to heal him, despite having realized every help was coming far too late, but I was simply unable to give up. I hoped for him to smile at me for one more time, for him to tell me that he was fine, but there was no such thing. There was only this void, this helplessness, this anger…

And when I then noticed the magic crystals he had pocketed, likely trying to earn a little more money to keep us afloat, I simply snapped. The next thing I knew, I was already hurling those cursed crystals away, both of them exploding into bright flashes of flame that engulfed my whole body. But those monsters were gone. All of them were gone. And me? I just laughed, unable to even guess what caused me to do so.

After all of that, nobody really talked to me anymore. They feared me, pitied me, and blamed me. I didn’t even really notice. I was following Aspen’s lead as if I were in a trance, using my healing magic again and again at his orders. And every single time it had worked, having betrayed me only once, only when I needed it the most. Only when I tried to save the man that my magic had allowed me to meet in the first place.

When I then saw that white fire beast that was taunting me by healing the hell spawns it considered its mates, a task I had failed so miserably at, I forced my mana out of my body, my fury and hatred fueling my attack. I launched a ball of water at the monster, big enough to cause it to explode into a cloud of steam. But that wasn’t enough, as it soon reappeared, its fire almost extinguished as it had changed from a blazing hot white to reds and oranges. It had actually tried to make its escape, now standing a little further away as more and more monsters appeared at the top of the volcano. And when they launched their attacks, more of those cursed avalanches of molten rock, the monster even taunted me, not moving an inch as the fiery death came collapsing down the mountainside.

I just charged at it, trying to end it then and there, but the other monsters came to its help, only hesitating when I took the weakened fox hostage. For minutes, we were at a standstill, with me trying everything to sort out my feelings just for long enough to be able to form an escape plan, but there was no such luck. My mana ran out, and the last thing I knew all the monsters jumped at me…

When I came to, my whole world had changed. I was alive, not a single injury to be found on my body, but Bernand, whom I had fallen in love with, was forever gone. The me he was about to marry, the me he had shared all of these precious moments with, had been cruelly massacred with him, only to be replaced by a beast, as the wicked goddess had forced both the ears and tail that marked her as the demon she was onto me, without asking me once. That wicked goddess had saved me, revived me, changed me, just to taunt me, forcing me to live the remainder of my life with the knowledge that she could have saved my love but simply chose not to do so! Naturally, I had tried to cut everything that connected me to her away, thus bringing back the beauty I once had, but my body screamed against every single cut, forcing me to stop over and over again only to be called out by the cursed girl that had decided to become the demon’s plaything. It was she who told everyone, about me cutting myself, about me supposedly being mentally unstable. So they forced their magic on me, their potions and brews. They even fed me when I denied my meal. They forced me to stay, but my hatred only grew with each of their actions.

All these men and women surrounding me? Just about every single being in this camp? They were fine with being turned into monsters! They even celebrated their changes! Men were running around presenting their filthy tails to each other while wearing those dresses and outfits the goddess had forced onto them, each single one of them a stark reminder of just who had killed them in the first place. She even tried to make it look cute. Just like a kid that had played a prank!

I clenched the amulet harder, swearing to myself once again that I would teach them. Not only Aspen, the man who had brought us here, but that wicked goddess as well, who was treating us like pawns in her game… and then there was that girl, the Avatar of this dungeon, who just watched all of it happen, who just allowed for Bernand to be taken from me… I would end them all.

A few more minutes went by as I thought about just how I would go on about my revenge. Aspen was the easiest to deal with. I could just walk up to him and drive a dagger into his neck. Even with his fool’s luck and all the healers surrounding him, he wouldn’t come back from that. The dungeon avatar was the same, but she would simply reappear after a few days, regardless of what I did to her. And I was by no means strong enough to reach and destroy her core, ending this dungeon once and for all. That left the goddess who was actually the worst of them all, since it was her who had created the dungeon in the first place. It was also she who had played games with our lives, deciding to kill my Bernand on a whim alone!

The men surrounding me had actually dared to make claims that it was his fault for dying, that he alone was to blame for it. They had openly discussed him only having been killed because his prayer was supposedly not honest enough?! He was a devout man! Who but that wicked goddess could decide she didn’t like what he said?! She was just jealous of us! It was all her fault!

Anger and hatred filled my whole body as even my grip on the amulet grew strong enough to nearly overpower its protective enchantment. But I saved it from danger by placing it around my neck, close to my heart where it belonged, and went to prepare for my revenge.

Having a deity as an opponent was cruel. I couldn’t even reach her, no matter what I tried. And even if I did, I had no means to actually defeat her or to scar her, like she had scarred me. That woman, that Cilia, was a weak goddess, an insignificant one. She had been almost forgotten by the world! People didn’t even know her face! She was an unloved nobody! The sole remainder of her existence were faceless pillars nobody cared for and stories that described her as a literal bitch who gained too much power! She hated us because we at least had each other while all she had was a single statue!

“How much would it hurt her if I took it from her?”

A smile grew on my face as I realized I had found my path, my redemption, the sole reason for my existence now that Bernand was no longer with me. The next moment, I was already looking around in my tent, searching for something, anything that would help me in my quest. My eyes soon found my dark gray dagger, the single weapon I had in case of an emergency and just another gift my one true love had left me with. It was made out of mithril and enchanted to keep it sharp and durable, which made it even more valuable than the amulet, but the two couldn’t compare in my heart. One was a mere weapon, the other one my most prized possession. Still, it would serve me well today.

My smile widened even more when I found the small barrel at the far end of the tent, the one I had relieved myself in during the last days, as I couldn’t bring it over me to carry myself to the slime pit everyone else used, fearing that the joyous atmosphere and dumb smiles would tick me off even more. It was protected with a somewhat tight lid that kept the worst of the smell inside and thus looked entirely unassuming to those who did not know about its purpose. They would think of it as a barrel of wine or some kind of food, both of them offerings one would make to a deity. As such, they wouldn’t suspect anything if I just brought it with me, would they?

I couldn’t help but chuckle as I imagined myself refurbishing that wicked goddess’ sole image with literal filth while using my dagger to give her some new names and titles that would fit her so much more. Light of Life? There were better ones than that! And I would make sure the world would know them all.

It only took me a minute or two to prepare myself. I donned the spare robes that had been given to me after I had tossed out the dress made of woven insults and taunts the goddess had forced onto me and used a belt to hide my dagger under its way too friendly–colored green fabric.

Now I made my way to the tent’s entrance, carrying the barrel with me and making sure nobody was noticing a thing. And I was in luck, as both Marisa and Sarah, the good–for–nothings in the neighboring tents, had decided to work in the kitchen, which was just now handing out lunch, meaning that most of the paladins were too busy to ask questions.

A single glance towards the dungeon’s entrance made me smile yet again. The guards were currently taking a break, likely grabbing a snack for themselves as well. They would likely return soon, but right now — there would be no one bothering me.

As I made my way toward the dark hole in the cliff face, I greeted a few paladins who had yet to line up for lunch. There weren’t many of them, just five, and out of those, only one gave me a real reply. The others, all of them wearing the symbols of that wicked goddess, didn’t even nod as I made my way past them. But they didn’t stop me either, and they would pay dearly for that mistake.

Just as I was about to reach the tunnel, I passed the new guard booth set up right at its entrance. It was still being built, with the man having spent most of the morning hammering away at the planks that made up its roof, but thankfully, nobody was working at it right now.

I was about to slip into the pitch–black tunnel when I took a step back, reaching for the counter they had installed at the booth, or rather for the hammer that was lying on top of it, having been left behind by the fools who had gone for lunch. It was heavy in my hand, causing me to smile as I realized just how much damage it would do against the finer details of the bitch’s statue. It would by no means help me topple it down, but it was a precious helper, one I wasn’t about to leave behind.

With my new weapon in hand and the precious barrel under my other arm, I dove into the tunnel, making sure not to look rushed until I was surrounded by darkness. It wouldn’t do for those men to notice I was up to something.

Despite having no torch or magic to light my way, I easily found my way through the tunnel with the help of the hammer, simply by letting it slide along the almost perfectly smooth stone walls. As such, it didn’t take me longer than minutes to be rewarded by a light that was visible in the distance. This was the prayer hall the dungeon had dedicated to its goddess. I knew it, and I would never forget it.

When I reached the site about a minute later, I let free all of my anger. I chuckled to myself as I emptied the barrel all over the statue, trying to cover as much of it as I could with the foul mixture and even using the dagger to spread out the harder pieces so both the goddess and that girl would have enough of it. Countless insults slipped my lips as I did my work, feeling more and more elated the more of the fancy metal and perfectly white marble was covered with sickening browns instead. But it wouldn’t do to be discovered just yet, so I didn’t scream out my rage and hatred as that wicked goddess deserved, fearing my voice would echo through the tunnel and reach the returning guards. Instead, I remained almost perfectly silent, only speaking up when there was an even more colorful insult or title dancing on my tongue — there were far too many of them!

It only took me a minute or two to empty out the barrel. I tossed it aside, as it had now served its purpose, and instead pulled forth my dagger, kissing it before I started giving the goddess some more titles to her name. First, I crossed out her existing ones, all of them, leaving only ‘Cilia’ written all over the pedestal. It only took me a minute to do so, thanks to the dagger’s enchantment easing my work. But writing her new titles was still a hassle, but one I gladly took upon myself, my hatred fueling every single move of my hand.

Time flew by as I gave Cilia dozens of nicknames and titles, each of them making me chuckle and smile. It served her right, all of this would serve her right. But I was by no means finished, as I was still about to come to the main attraction. This girl, this dungeon avatar, seemed to be important to the bitch, important enough for her to find her way into her statue. The goddess was reaching out for the girl, gently caressing her as she slept. The image painfully reminded me of a better time, of my past with Bernand and the future I had lost. Why could she be this happy when she took everything from me?! I wasn’t about to accept that.

Having gathered all my determination, I raised the hammer high up and, using all of my strength and rage, brought it down on the hand that was caring for the girl. The graceful fingers, the seemingly most vulnerable part of the statue, almost immediately gave in. The sound of crumbling rock was like music to my ears as I hammered away, ready to destroy all remains of their love.

One by one I got rid of all of them, tossing them aside so they would never again be able to touch her. I then began demolishing any other part I could reach, making sure to deal as much damage as I could. Her face, sadly, was off limits, as the statue was simply too tall for me to reach it. I would certainly have loved to give her a few scars of her own.

I tried anyway. Jumping, climbing, creating footholds with my dagger, nothing helped me reach her cursed smile. How much would I have loved to carve her a new one…

It was then that it happened — an ice–cold wave ran through my body, accumulating in my eyes and turning my world upside down without a warning. The white marble skin of the statue in front of me suddenly switched to black, the gold on her dress to blue, and the green crystal eyes that seemed to taunt me even now to a pink bright enough that it almost blinded me. All of the colors seemed to have switched, not a single one of them remaining what they were.

I hurriedly pulled out my amulet, one of the only traces left of Bernand’s existence, but it, too, had changed. The metal looked much darker now, almost black even, but it was the crystal that forced tears into my eyes. The amber color, the color of his eyes that had looked that lovingly at me, was now gone, replaced by the blue of the smelly, vile mold found on certain fruits. It was as if the goddess was telling me this was exactly what he would become, rotten and untouchable, once she was done with his soul.

The next thing I knew, I was already hurling insults at her, making sure she would hear them loud and clear. The statue simply stood still, listening to all of it, as if taunting my pitiful attempts to wear it down.

Suddenly, I noticed a sound coming from my right side, of something dropping to the ground. When I turned around, I saw her, that filthy girl who had built the trap that had taken Bernand, stole my life, and turned me into this monster!

It barely took me seconds to reach her, all of my rage rekindled by the audacity of her breathing the same air as me. But I wasn’t about to let that insult slide, not as long as my heart was still beating!

I focused all of my hatred on the monster, forcing her down with all my might. She screamed in pain, her cry music in my ears, before trying to protect herself. But I wasn’t about to let her off that easily: I unleashed all of my anger on her, spitting at her, cursing her out, and punching her with all my might as I uncovered her demonic heritage for all to hear.

Forcing my knee into her chest, I took her breath away and all hope for her to retaliate. I then pulled away her arms, giving her a good look at the dagger Bernand had gifted me, and explained to her just what was about to happen to her.

Suddenly, there was a sound of something rushing through the passage behind me, where the prayer site was connected to the neighboring meadow room, but I paid it no mind. Whatever or whoever it was, they would not stop me, not now, that I was so close to getting my revenge. And when there then was a growl coming from behind me, I couldn’t help but smile, the monster’s threat was more than enough to confirm that I had, indeed, the upper hand in all of this.

I forced my blade against the neck of the girl, drawing blood and teaching the monster who was in charge.

“You have taken the only man I ever loved! You have destroyed everything! Give him back! Give him back!”

The girl was staring at me wide–eyed. But she didn’t answer. She knew I was right! She knew she had taken Bernhard away! So she couldn’t blame me for doing what I was about to do…

“Don’t worry, I will make sure you regret it,” I told her, making sure to show her a nice smile. I then leaned in, to make sure she would not miss a single word. “I will cut you up nicely. Over and over again…”

I was just about to make my promise true when there was a sudden, amber–colored light, with fire of the same color surrounding us to both sides. I turned around, readying my magic to fight off the fiend that dared to interrupt me, but there was nothing there, nothing but more of the weird fire that had spread out near the passage connecting the prayer site to the neighboring meadow. Then there was a sudden strike, a flash of pain, and I felt myself collapsing to the ground, my consciousness stolen away by an ocean of white.

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Catnip

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