“Hi, Eve, can I talk to you for a second?” It’s Mia, standing before me in the twilight, awkwardly holding her drink, looking down at me.

I’m sitting on one of the comfortable cushions, leaning against the wall, part of the large circle these people have let me join. I’m still working on my drink, listening to the music, sometimes listening to them. Grace left to get ready in her own room, the others are already all donned up. The boys have been all evening, the girls disappeared into the bathroom while Grace and I occupied Mia’s room.

I can already feel the alcohol kicking in and I haven’t even gotten up yet.

“Yeah, sure,” I say, moving a little even though I absolutely don’t have to. There’s more than enough space.

She nods and sits on the floor next to me. She didn’t bring her cushion.

There’s a moment where she doesn’t say anything, just stares at the floor before her, then she looks up at me and asks, “What do you think of Grace?” It catches me off guard. Not because of the question itself but because of her expression and tone as she says it. Way too serious for such a light question, isn’t it?

I shrug. “I mean, I don’t know her very well, do I? But she seems great.” Pause. Is that what she wanted to hear? “I mean, all of you have made a pretty good first impression, I think, but, y’know, she’s been kinda taking care of me all evening, so…” I stop myself because I realise I’m rambling and give her an awkward little smile.

I told her about the clothes, earlier, and she’d said not to worry and that I looked great in them. Didn’t even seem to question that I didn’t have proper clothes when we met earlier. Just like Grace. They’re either being really considerate or… what? Naive? Because they let a stranger become their friend? A girl they think is a girl but who’s really a man?

“No, I mean, do you like her,” she explains hastily. She seems uncomfortable asking it, but her eyes don’t leave mine. Watching, searching my expression for giveaways.

But I just look at her confused. Is there a certain way I’m supposed to react to this? What would be my natural reaction? Do I like her? I barely know her! Yeah, sure, she’s nice and pretty and I feel comfortable around her but- There’s no way we’ll even talk past tonight, so what’s the point?

After a moment of awkward silence, I decide that going with the truth is probably the safest option, so I shrug. “As I said, I barely know her. So, no, I guess not.”

She nods slowly. “Do you generally like girls or boys?”

It only occurs to me then that even considering it was the none-straight answer. Because I’m a girl right now and liking a girl now would make me gay, right? Not that that’s anything bad, but… fuck, it totally doesn’t matter, does it?

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t wanna,” Mia says when I take too long replying. She wasn’t speaking at a particularly high volume before, but her voice grows even softer now. “Doesn’t matter, really. My point is that Grace likes girls and I think she might be… into you.”

That searching gaze again.

Grace might like me. Huh. That’s a first. But Mia only thinks it might be possible, I remind myself. It’s still a lot more probable that she’s just being nice, isn’t it? And if Grace really has a crush on me? Well, that’s a problem. Because if she asks me out and I say no…. I need somewhere to stay for the night and it’d be weird to stay with her after having rejected her.

“Just a hunch, y’know, but… I’ve gotten pretty good at reading her and I really don’t want her to get hurt. So… please don’t lead her on? She’s really quick sometimes at falling in love and well, that’s gotten her hurt a few times. And y’know, we don’t even know your real name.”

“So should I… just not be nice to her?” It’s a genuine question, even though I know it’s probably a stupid one. I’ve never done this before, so how am I supposed to know?

“No.” She chuckles lightly. “Just… y’know? Avoid physical contact, don’t lean into her, don’t stand too close, don’t talk just to her… Those kinda things. And if she confesses to you, just tell her how you feel honestly. Okay?”

I nod and at exactly that moment, the door to Grace’s room opens and she comes out and she looks even better than she did before. She’s put on a little makeup, I think. Not that I could tell, really, but her face looks a little different. Her outfit is nice, too. Defines her figure a little more than the plain leggings and hoody combo from before.

She smiles at me and does a little twirl as she closes the door.

“Are! You! Readyyyyyyyyyy?” she yells. Clearly, the alcohol is finally working for her, too. She had to drink a lot more than me, though.

There are approving shouts and whistles from all over the room and slowly, the others get up. Mia makes it to her feet before me and offers a hand. I take it.

“Thanks.”

Her smile seems genuine when she says, “You’re welcome, Eve.”

-

We leave the house minutes later, carrying with us the leftover alcohol, destined to be emptied before we make it to the club. I won’t be drinking anymore of it, though, because I’m already drunk enough. I’m not at the point yet where I can’t walk straight, but it feels like there’s a slight delay to my movement. I’m giddy and I want to jump and twirl in the cool night air.

Mia let me keep wearing my old jacket because apparently, it’s nice enough – believe me, that’s not because I paid any attention when picking it – but she did insist on me wearing a pair of her shoes, which is lucky, because now I won’t have to dance in shoes that don’t fit me.

With an elated giggle, I do a pirouette and almost stumble into a trash can.

Grace giggles, too. “Preserve your energy, you’ll probably have to run soon,” she says then.

I give her a confused look. “Why?”

“Because we’re probably going to make somebody angry,” Mia replies in her stead with a wink.

Then we turn a corner and we’re back to the street where I first met Grace and the boys.

“What are we doing here?” I ask as my heartbeat quickens.

But just as quickly as it went up, it goes down again, because there’s a hand on my shoulder. Grace’s. What was that about keeping my distance and not leaning into her?

“Don’t worry. We’ve got the numbers. And we’re not planning to stay long, either.” She takes her hand away and a carton of eggs appears next to me. “Here, take one.”

I turn my head to look at her. “Why?”

“We’re gonna throw them at that creep’s house. Not that it could make that house look much worse. It’s a gesture more than anything, y’know?” Mia says.

I nod uncomfortably. I really don’t want to start a fight, right now or ever for that matter. But at the same time, getting back at that asshole? Yeah, I’ll take that.

I take one of the eggs and weigh it in my hand. That’ll make a nice throw.

Soon enough, we are across from the house and everyone has an egg in their hand.

“Marksmen, get in position!” Grace commands in her best posh commander voice. “Aim! Fire!”

It looks almost epic, the way ten eggs fly across the street at varying speeds and splash against the facade opposite. Two even hit the windows, which promptly causes the light to go on inside.

“Aight,” Felix says, the grin in his voice audible. “We should probably start running now.”

And run we do. All ten of us break into a sprint, leave the sidewalk as we take the next turn, and speed along the empty street. I feel light with speed, drunk with excitement and, well, alcohol. The asphalt races past my feet and for a while it feels like I’m flying. As we turn another corner, I let out a victorious howl and it doesn’t take the others long to join me until we have to stop because we’re all laughing and we’re out of breath, which is a really bad combination if you want to keep running.

“Think they’re coming after us?” the guy named Dominic wheezes.

Grace shakes her head, trying hard to keep her torso straight and breathe slowly and deeply. “No, the door hadn’t opened by the time I took the corner and I was last. They didn’t see us, although I doubt it’ll be hard for them to figure out we did it.” Still, she glances up and down the street. But there is nobody. We’re completely alone in the cold streetlights.

Slowly, we start walking again. I’m still riding the high of adrenaline and joy and can’t help but giggle occasionally as we stop at the end of the queue in front of the club.

Grace gives me a light nudge with her elbow and leans down to ask, “Do you go to clubs a lot?”

For a moment I think about lying, but then think better of it. She’ll figure it out if she pays attention and there’s nothing with not going to party a lot, is there? I could just as well be a… nerdy kinda girl? Weird that it’s called nerdy to stay at home and read. And that’s closest to the truth, isn’t it?

So I shake my head slightly. She grins in reply. “Don’t worry. Mia and I come here a lot and we still can’t dance to save our lives.” She shrugs. “Nobody cares. We’re all way too drunk.”

I hadn’t really worried about that for that exact reason – being way too drunk to care. But it’s nice to know that she cares. Is that because she likes me? How would I know? Not like I have any experience to rely on.

Not like it matters. I can just keep my distance and come morning the problem will magically have solved itself.

We enter the club after waiting a disproportionally long time in front. The music inside is loud and there are people everywhere. After we have fought our way through the entranceway and left our stuff by the coat check, the actual club opens before us. It seems to be a large, repurposed warehouse. There are moving hats all over but the room is still comparatively dark.

Even moving through the crowd, I can already see Grace move in time with the music, jumping a little on the drop, raising her arms on the chorus. I don’t know many of the songs, but she seems to. Most of them seem to.

Then we’ve found an empty-ish spot a little ways away from the entrance and we stop moving, but it’s somehow not awkward at all to stop walking and start dancing. Maybe it’s the alcohol, maybe the adrenaline, maybe the music, and maybe the atmosphere. But it’s so easy to close my eyes and jump as the base hammers my eardrums and buzzes against my feet. It’s like this giddy rush from running all over. I feel light and free and nice in a way I can’t recall having ever felt in recent years. Maybe as a child?

And then I open my eyes and I see Grace’s eyes glitter in the coloured light and we’re free together. We’re surrounded by a sea of bodies and still it’s somehow just us.

Is this what I’m supposed to find, I can’t help but wonder. Find joy in living, find that it isn’t always just about the future? Studying is nice and all, but having fun? Tell that loner Callum that he’s supposed to have fun, for the love of God.

This is what I’ve been missing out on when I couldn’t bring up the courage to talk to people? For a moment there’s this voice again, telling me that I’m only here right now because I’m so mysterious and also a lot more pretty than my normal self, but it’s easy to shut it off. Because it’s easy to find people to go to parties with. Hell, my roommates invited me just a few hours ago. All I need to do is pull my head out of my arse and get in a good mood. Everything from there on out is easy. Drink, dance. Drink, dance. Maybe talk to people, but that’s not a must.

Already, I want to do this again and right then, I decide that I will. The next time Ethan invites me along I’ll say yes. If it’s different, well, I guess I don’t have to do it again. But at least I’ll have tried.

I don’t know for how long I dance like that, holding my arms high, jumping, banging my head as my hair flies all over the place. I like having long hair, I realise. The pull on my scalp is comfortable and I like the look of it in the mirror, too. Maybe I should think about growing my hair out as a guy, too. If it looks good. Yeah, I’ll have to think about that.

By the time I stop and go outside for a little fresh air, my head is numb and I’m out of breath. The air inside the club really didn’t do anything to lift the intoxication away.

The cold nightly air does, though. It practically slams into my face as I step into the small outside area out back but then I immediately feel better. I feel more awake when I didn’t even know that I’d felt tired. I feel lighter when I didn’t even know I’d felt heavy.

“Really something, huh?” a deep voice says from behind me. “Fresh air after breathing in the stink of hundreds for hours.”

It’s Dominic. He must’ve liked the idea I had and then followed me.

I nod, giving him a small smile. “You never realise how bad it is until you get out.” Which as I say it I realise is just as applicable to my life. Neat.

Together, we walk away from the door, to the fence, as far away from the smokers’ lounge as possible. I like having his company – he was one of the ones who saved me, after all – but I really don’t know what to say.

Speaking of which.

“Thank you,” I say and lean against the fence. “For saving me earlier.”

But he doesn’t answer my shy smile. He just nods shortly, looking away. “Yeah, about that,” he says then and directs his gaze back at me. His eyes are of a steely grey, I realise. Piercing and cold, somehow. My heart sinks suddenly, just from the way he looks at me. “Why don’t you want to tell us your real name?”

I try hard to keep my voice casual. “I’d really prefer not talking about that.”

But he isn’t having any of it. “I know Mia already talked to you about it, but she missed a very important point. People don’t hide their true identity for the fun of it. So. What did you do?”

I’m growing frantic. “Nothing!” Except lie to all of them, of course. But they won’t ever know that. I open my mouth to continue, but then Grace appears next to Dominic and the look on her face is stern.

“Leave her alone, Dom,” she says firmly. “Her name is her business.”

He isn’t as easy to keep down as me, though. “What? Don’t you find it weird? That she shows up in clothes way too big for her, doesn’t want to tell us her name, doesn’t have anywhere to go or any friends to take care of her?”

“No,” Grace says simply. “There are so many harmless possible reasons for that. What if she’s just shy or she ran away from home or she’s trying to be mysterious – which, okay, is edgy and weird but totally harmless. And anyway, the fact that she hasn’t told us her name means that she’s going to be gone by tomorrow anyway, so what do you care?”

I can’t help but notice that she doesn’t mention the having a crush on me part. Does that mean something? Frustratingly, the answer is once more that I don’t have a clue.

At last, Grace’s words seem to have broken it to Dominic that this isn’t his fight and he shrugs and with a sigh says, “Alright, you’ll know best.”

Grace nods grimly and as he turns and walks back into the club, she leans against the fence next to me.

“Sorry about that,” she says once he’s out of earshot. “You probably have more than enough problems of your own to worry about, huh?”

I nod slowly and she pushes herself off the fence energetically, holding out her hand. It’s less an offered help to get back upright, that’s really not hard the way I’m standing right now. It’s a promise of safety, companionship, and trust.

“C’mon, we’re here to have fun. Wanna head back inside?”

But I shake my head. I like the air and want to enjoy it at least for another few minutes. Also, there are a lot more fireworks now. It looks nice. “I’ll stay here a little longer. I’d probably suffocate within minutes inside.”

She saw me look upwards and now she halts for a moment, then pulls out her phones and checks the time. “How about,” she says then, “we fuck off and watch the fireworks from a better perspective? It’s not far but we’d still have to hurry to get there by midnight.”

“How long do we have?” The idea sounds really nice and I know what Mia said, but I like being around her and fuck, we’re both adults, she’ll know what she’s getting herself into. I know that she knows that I’ll be gone tomorrow and we’ll probably never meet again.

“Fifteen minutes,” she grins.

I nod. “Okay, let’s go.”

Together, we hurry through the crowd and to the coat check, get our jackets and leave the club. There, we start jogging and Grace leads me through streets now filled with people lighting fireworks, drinking, laughing. The streets are covered in smoke and I can smell the black powder. Then, barely five minutes later, we turn a corner and enter a car park.

For a moment, I want to ask what we’re doing here. It is a pretty dark place and it’s also easy to get ambushed here. But then I decide that I trust her. Because she trusts me too, doesn’t she? And it feels nice to not worry for a moment and let her take the lead.

Up and up we climb and soon enough we have to slow down to not lose our breath. Grace keeps checking the time but she seems happy with the progress we’re making, because she slows down even further until we’re just walking.

And then we arrive at the top floor which, weirdly enough, is still roofed, and then she leads me to one of the pillars holding said roof and climbs onto the wall that’s supposed to probably discourage exactly that. My breath hitches because it’s obvious what she’s about to do, but then she doesn’t just grip onto the pillar, instead using leader rungs that aren’t visible without climbing on the wall and leaning out and climbs upwards. And to my own disbelief, I follow her.

We aren’t the only ones up here. There are maybe five or six couples sprinkled over the large roof and yes I notice that everybody aside from us seems to be in love.

We sit by the edge, Grace with her legs dangling, I a little further away with my legs crossed. She seems awfully comfortable with heights.

“So, when does the new year begin?” I ask, stuffing my hands into my pockets. It’s surprisingly comfortable, even at this time of the night.

She pulls out her phone. “Another minute,” she says then, showing it to me. The writing on the screen reads 23:56.

From up here, the view is so much better than down in the streets. There’s a strong breeze blowing up here that blows my hair in my face but also carries away all the smoke and keeps the sky clear. We can see both the stars and the fireworks.

Talking about fireworks. There are a lot. So many more than I saw the last few years from the window of my room. Well, duh. We’re at the centre of town, after all.

Grace chuckles next to me, throwing a glance over her shoulder. “We fit in perfectly with the other couples up here.” She turns back around to look at me and her laughing grin makes my stomach flutter. “What a shame we aren’t. I’d really like to kiss you right now.”

Well. That’s forward. At least it doesn’t leave me guessing, I guess. And suddenly I know that I like her too, at least for what little I know about her. She’s a great person, thoughtful, fun to be around, an amazing artist… and I like being around her. So why not? Except I’ll be gone by tomorrow, so no relationship can ever become of this.

As my face grows hot, I look at my legs and say, “You can, I just-” meaning to once more tell her what she already said herself, that she can only know me for the night. But she doesn’t let me get that far.

“There’s no need to put a label on it, if you don’t want to.”

“Yes, there is!” I hear myself insist. “I don’t want to lead you on, there’s-”

But she interrupts me again because we both know I’m being stupid. We both know she’s aware of the conditions and choosing this anyway.

“I get it. So, what do you say. Couple for the night?”

Finally, I look back up and see the fireworks light up her eyes and see her smile and I just sort of nod and then she scoots closer until we sit right next to each other and she’s leaning in, her eyes never leaving mine, constantly asking for consent, checking for any signs that I might not want this. But I do want it, so I lean into her too and our lips meet and touch lightly, and how can a simple touch of skin make you feel so nice?

We retreat momentarily and just as a big, dumb grin spreads across her face, I can feel the same happen to me too and then we lean in again and kiss again and again and again as the stars explode above us.

SeptemberMorgan

So. That's as far as the story's written at the moment and unfortunately, that's the way it'll stay for a while. Don't get me wrong, I'm absolutely in love with this little story, but I also really want to continue working on Your Superhero and avoid losing focus, so since this is 'just' a side project, it'll be put on ice for now. Don't worry, I'm 100% returning to this in a few months :)
Until then, do not hesitate to leave feedback or visit my discord!