Rygar resurrected from the dead inside the Aether cave by the summons of the Princess Lunamaria Adrienne Lucis.
The heiress to the throne of the Kingdom of Eos, and also the Goddess Lumine El Ishvari's incarnation, who is now lying in a coma.
The TriGnosis, a divine blessing that belongs to Princess Luna, was seized by a dark force that has arisen in the valley of Daggerfall with malicious intent. To Awaken Asura, the sealed God of Destruction, and to eradicate denizens of Ivarise except one, the Elves.
Resurrected to life with a heartless body, and selective amnesia, Rygar must retrieve the TriGnosis before December, for the sake of the dying Princess and the kingdom of Eos that is on the verge of calamity.
For the long journey awaits, he must embrace the ancient bloodline he has denied for his whole life, and utilize its power in the pilgrimage to the temples of the four Eidolons.
The four majestic ancient Dragons who receive the Ascension of The Creator. To ultimately prove his worthiness of their supreme blessing, the Dragonflute. A Relic to Conquer All.
Will he be able to completed his quests?
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Hello, there! This is my first English work, I hope you'd enjoy it as much as I wrote it.
If you're a fan of The Legend of Zelda, Dragon Quest, or Final Fantasy, I hope you may give my work a chance.
All in all, thanks to you whom willing to gave my amateurish story a chance. Seeing those reading numbers increase --albeit slow, it's a spark of joy that foreign to me until now.
BUY ME COFFEE? -- https://ko-fi.com/whipisreal
Well, I gave it a try and unfortunately, it didn't stick. I failed to gain any attachment to the characters and found issues with the story's pacing and language.
I think I might've gained more of an interest if there had been a bit more mystery to it - the synopsis gives a lot of things away, killing a lot of the curiosity I might've had about Rygar's backstory otherwise.
As for the language, there's obviously the random shifts in-between past tense (which is normally used) and present tense, occasionally within the same paragraph.
Then there's the narrative in general, which I find a bit clunky and cluttered. This is especially prevalent in chapter 1. Having more words isn't necessarily better, and too much info at once kills any suspense in the narrative. Extremely long sentences is also something to be avoided. Variation is important.
To demonstrate what I mean, here's the initial paragraphs from chapter 1:
Everyone agreed to testify that the young man came from the south, from behind the Everfrost rift, when it was already evening and the snow was falling quite heavily. The guard patrolling the post at the village gate saw his figure since crossing the frozen lake of Wayrun at a moderate pace, leading his horse to the bridle. The biting cold seemed not to touch him.
He asked the four patrolling soldiers for permission to enter the village, in polite common language although his accent sounded foreign, not northern, nor was it an Orlessian or Concordian nasal one.
Even though they had been inspected back and forth from head to toe, the four of them could not immediately guess where the slender and quite tall young man came from, not from his thin coat sprinkled with snow-white grains, or Summeris' horse he was leading. They were only told that he was a wanderer as well as a blacksmith's apprentice, and needed a place to stop for the night. Although not forgetting also from their supervision, on his back hung a pair of swords,
In the end, the four guards didn't see any potential danger from the young man before them after their brief conversation. After all, who would try to do things in this kind of weather that could suddenly deteriorate? Even mountain bandits would think twice, then the foreign youth was allowed to enter the village by the four guards.
After all, gold was still gold, not to mention the 50 gold Florens coins from a stranger they could divide by four. With a snobby sentence, one of them warned the young man not to cause trouble, while his three colleagues were huddled with broad grins in the corner of the patrol post. They even forgot to ask the foreign youth's name.
The young man had arrived in the evening, during heavy snowfall. He had come from the south, from behind the Everfrost rift, and the village guards had watched him sedately leading his horse across the frozen waters of the Wayrun Lake, seemingly unaffected by the cold in spite of his thin coat.
Upon arrival, this tall but slender stranger had then asked for permission to enter the village, which had been granted following an inspection. The guards had found themselves quite mystified however, trying and failing to place the other's accent. Because while the request had been polite and uttered in the common language, he had spoken with a foreign accent, not northern nor Orlessian nor the nasal Concordian. The stranger had claimed to be a wandering blacksmith's apprentice, and that he was looking for a place to stay the night, and the two swords attached to his back had neither supported nor spoke against it.
In the end, the four village guards had not considered him much of a threat though. They had told him not to cause trouble and sent him on his way, and once he was gone, they had turned to one another with broad grins, thinking of the fifty gold Florens the stranger had been carrying. Even if they split the money evenly, it would still be a substantial sum for each and every one of them, and the thought of the money left them so preoccupied that they failed to notice that none of them had asked for the stranger's name.
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