I, the wholly happy-go-lucky character, go through life on an alternate Earth with some "minor" differences. Yes indeedy do! I promise an absolutely joyous time!

I tell no lies.

What minor differences you ask? Well, here's some advice. Don't drink that lava in a bottle, or you'll spend a night of fiery passion extra happy! Then you'll spend another night happy again after you grab another. And then you'll buy another. And another. And another. And then... no more!

And be careful who you kiss. Romance the love of your life and you may just end up as a very angry furry one bright night. After that, you'll probably wake up to breakfast in bed though!

And finally... you'll probably be fine... I doubt you've got problems... but just in case! I want to make sure you have the best experience here. Just follow Peter Pan's instructions: "Think happy thoughts!"

If you want to know more, just come enter the world!

All you need is to go read my story, you silly!

And don't worry, nothing bad happens to me! I swear on Scout's honor it's true!

Oh wait... that phrase doesn't work anymore since the year that Señor Screaming Fingers turned both Scouts groups to... art.

Pfffft, HAHAHA! No matter. Just trust me. You should take absolutely everything I say at face-value!