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Divine Puppets
Divine Puppets
4.2k Views 127 Favorites 50 Chapters 1 Chapters/Week 37 Readers
5.0 (5 ratings)
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Location
Maharnak

Maharnak is the main continent in the world of Divine Puppets. It is surrounded by a series of islands, followed by seemingly never ending ocean.

Ferner’s Glen

The town which houses both Marty’s Tavern and the Temple of Lonely Souls. The town is built on the gentle curving slopes of the glen. 

The town’s houses, including the tavern, are built into the left side of the creek running through the glen, such that the flow of water is from left to right for the houses facing the creek. The Temple of Lonely Souls is the only building on the opposite slope, located on the right side of the creek and facing this creek, such that the water is running from right to left if viewed from the Temple’s entrance.

It was originally named due to its inhabitants eating of the fern fiddleheads for sustenance. The population in those times were quite poor, having first been constantly taxed by the nobles living on the other side of the forest on the flatlands and then being abandoned by said nobles.

Marty’s Tavern

The longest standing establishment of Ferner’s Glen, introduced in This Cult Lacks a Personality (1). It was originally named for the founder, Marty, who was old man Turner’s best friend.

The tavern is the local watering hole and social hall. It is open all hours to supposedly accommodate the occasional travelers — in reality, it is because the townspeople find solace in its bright glow and welcoming atmosphere. A night without the crackling of the fireplaces and smell of roast meat and cheap ale coming from Marty’s Tavern is a cold, dark night indeed.

Temple of Lonely Souls

The sole Temple of Ferner’s Glen, home to one member of the Holy Imanjar. 

The temple is made of petrified wood, with four columns wrapped in vines framing the entrance. The ceiling is made of glass pannels in the shape of a funnel, which serves to gather the water that slowly drips into the Baptismal Pool in the center of the singular square room. At its highest point, the ceiling is 40 ft high, and its lowest is 20 ft high. A series of balconies and walkways crisscross the walls between at the level of the funnel tip and above. This area serves as the living quarters of the Holy Imanjar as well as the library and archive of the temple.

This strange work of architecture was built by the previous Holy Imanjar serving the Spirit of Lonely Souls as his life’s work… and tomb.

Characters
Holy Imanjar

The Holy Imanjar are an association of people who have devoted their lives to the will of various deities. While they claim to serve all deities, individuals usually serve in a temple devoted to a single deity. As members have given up their free will, they are often said to have little personality of their own and to have taken up the character of their main deity. 

The internal hierarchy of the Holy Imanjar is determined by the strength of one’s deity. The strong the deity, the more power the member of the Holy Imanjar has. This is determined by the deities themselves, with lesser deities willingly commanding those under their control to follow the will of the higher deities. Higher deities have more influence over their people, and thus their Holy Imanjar have deceptively strong personalities and motivation due to this high amount of influence. 

Members of the Holy Imanjar can be assigned to temples according to the will of higher deities. Holy Imanjar with special talents may be chosen by a a particular deity who feels they are conducive to their cause.

Alternatively, the weakest members of the Holy Imanjar simply serve at the temples where they first devoted themselves to the deities doing simple tasks and chores. They only feel the will of deities when the deities call upon them, so they are ironically the Holy Imanjar that have the most remaining free will. The unfortunate side effect is that many deities view them as disposable in comparison to the more talented Holy Imanjar. Should a temple ever be attacked, they are the first ones to die.

Old man Turner

First appearing in This Cult Lacks a Personality (1), this old man is a turnip farmer with a penchant for drinking cheap ale.

He has a strong sense of disdain for the Holy Imanjar, most likely due to the personality of the nearest deity, the Spirit of Lonely Souls. Older than most of the townsfolk, he personally experienced the time before the temple was built. 

He is descended from the serfs that served a rather useless noble who formerly owned the land. When this noble family fled the town for the capital, old man Turner claimed squatter’s rights on the land his family worked. 

Murph, son of Marty, aka the bartender

Murph is the son of Marty. He inherited Marty’s Tavern after his father retired. He is married and has three daughters. The youngest works in the kitchens, the middle child works as a bartender for the day shift, and the eldest is finishing her seventh and final year of apprenticeship to the local blacksmith.

Old man Turner claims the ale has gotten worse since Murph took over. Murph will never admit it, but this is because he specifically waters down Turner’s ale. He has to do something to limit the number of days he has to walk a drunk old man home, after all…

Lorraine, Blacksmith’s Senior Apprentice

Daughter of Murph, Current Apprentice of Ferner’s Glen’s only Blacksmith.

24 years old this year, she is in her final month of apprenticeship. While young boys often become apprentices between 14 and 15 years of age, Lorraine became an apprentice at age 17. 

Having been sickly from birth, Lorraine hated feeling weak and being couped up indoors. At 10 years old, she saw the muscle-bound blacksmith deliver Murph’s new door hinges for the tavern and vowed to become as strong as him. At 17, she beat the blacksmith in an arm wrestling contest, securing her an offer to become his apprentice.

She is currently in charge of three junior apprentices.

Silnarion

Sole member of the Holy Imanjar serving the Spirit of Lonely Souls

*Member of Main Cast*

First Appearance: This Cult Lacks a Personality (2)

Physical Description: Long, mud brown hair ; Silver eyes glazed over like those of the blind ; Thin, wiry build

Age: Mid-twenties

Abilities: Spiritual Solace (Conditional); Soul of Solitude (Innate); Silent Moon Sword Art 

Life Abilities: Foraging; Weaving, Knitting, and Sewing

Likes: Their Spirit; Kittens

Relationships: Obsessed with their Spirit 

Allergies: Poison Ivy

Pet Peeves: Loud parties; People who ask for favors

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    doravg
    Status: 10. a view from the outside

    This is an original story, but it is obvious that it is one of the first attempts. I think the lore has a lot of potential, really, I do. But it is given in the way of the Avatar: Last Airbender Life Action movie. Too much exposition, and too little character development. 

    Magpie wants for the Goddess of Death to destroy the world? But how, when, if I have understood correctly, he doesn't have a free will anymore, and why? What made him give up his name? What spooked up the Main Cultist of the Goddess of victory? And then we come to the next point. 

    Too many characters. There is barely any time for them to be properly introduced. I have to admit, I binge read this story up to chapter 23, but I don't remember all of the characters. Most of them are just filler. There are like 2-3 interesting characters, and I applaud the author for writing a transgender character, really, I do. But why are they transgender? What are their motivations? 

    A story breathes through its characters, not through its lore and landscape. When you didn't have Cersei Lannister and Jaime Lannister, you wouldn't give a hoot about Kingslanding, at least in the first season of Game of Thrones.

     I am sorry to say, but these characters seem like puppets. If that is what the author wanted to do, then great! You managed it, MintiLime! But I don't think that is the case. 

    The Grammar and Style are very good, though. I spotted only a couple of hiccups. Some of the paragraphs could be shortened for an easier read. The chapters are given in segments, but if one binge reads, then they will see that they are of a decent length. 

    I really enjoyed the lore, and I think that when MintiLime takes some time to flesh out the characters, this story can really take off. Less is more. Fewer characters, but characters whom we will remember. 

    Kudos for the originality. MintiLime really captured the atmosphere one would imagine of fanatics. Magpie being the main example. But if the characters are allowed to speak more, and the narrator takes a backseat, the story can really be brought to shine. 

    MintiLime, feel free to disagree, but know I took 1h 40m of my time to honor your first book. I hope you know that I am being honest, and not cruel. Once again, I wish you happy writing! With practice, you can use your ability to create fleshed out worlds, when you combine them with living breathing characters, to write a book that the people would want to reread. 

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    TheMonotonePuppet
    Status: special: poll feedback

    This story has many strengths. From its grammar to its coverage of personalities with deep and real emotions that can shock you at times with their intensity. Characters like Magpie and, later on, Silnarion, really shine. The originality of the plot is unlike nearly anything you would read. With divine beings and their development; and their fanatics and those chained to adhering to their philosophies, it is deeply enjoyable to read.

    There are a few weaknesses too. The biggest are the chapters are too short for what they cover. Certain moments could use a good bit more “stopping to smell the roses”, while moments could be added to clear up and create a more cohesive narrative. For example, thinking of the Imanjar (I believe it was spelled) of the Goddess of Victory is more of a foil for Magpie. Harder to recall. Or the interactions between the varied powers.

    But there a few unique ones that set it apart from the chaff, and even the top fictions. The Fairytale Grimm style of describing things sets the mood and vibe like nothing else. The story’s drawing on various mythologies (such as the tales of Brother Spider and Brother Death) is wonderful and invigorating to read.

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