I have read this story at least to the current latest chapter. At first I enjoyed it very much, but as another person before me has perfectly pointed out. There is no tension, at all. The main character has literally no opposition from anyone, it is more like a power fantasy then a standard fantasy story. Since the other person has written about this in detail I will not say more on the matter.

Another major issue for me was the extremely poor representation of Dumbledore. The man who can be called without a doubt the greatest tactitian of the magical universe, would literally never walk up to you like some senile braindead and accuse you of being the next dark lord without almost any thought put into it.

It was so random, and so lacking in every detail that it completely broke the immersion for me. He literally didn't know anything about the protagonist, there was no reason for him to do something like that, even if there were major evidence he would never act so recklessly, literally making an idiot out of himself. That part as many others seemed to have just one purpose, which was to further serve the main character's sense of superiority.

The next frustrating problem is, that this story has the tag of comedy and gender bender.

To be clear, it is not a comedy, as there is no comedic undertone which would tie together the entire plot. Making small jokes and teasing here and there are far from enough to call it a comedy. Such a tag should represent the entire work. It is misleading.

Same with the gender bender category. The story practically has zero context that even touches on the theme. It is outright ignored after about three sentences are dropped at the start. There is absolutely no meaning behind it, or any effects on the story. One would think, that laying down as a 27 year old man one night and waking up as a 13 year old girl would have some major effects on one's psyche and world view. Yeah, one would think... Especially if your existence is put into a book. Which fact for some reason is never even mentioned.

As of now, it seems much more like a vague attempt to gain more viewers by using a currently mainstream theme, which in itself is not a problem at all. However, what is a big problem is that the writer, quite obviously doesn't want to have anything to do with said topic of choice. Circling around it like a moth circles an open flame.

I don't really get the necessity for the system either, you could have made the assimilation into a unique spell that would have been a lot more true to the world itself without throwing the table over the reader's immersion.

In short, to bolster your story I suggest creating a lot more meaningful struggle, and adding opposition to the MC in the form of a worthy group of antagonists. The lack of such characters is what makes the story shallow.

That's it for now, I will check it out later when there are more chapters.

Sincerely,

Yokem

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ghostilocks

Status: chapter 20: numbers, runes and rewards

Jul 15, 2023

Edit: chapter 26 and I decided to drop it. The story just keeps going in bizarre directions and retains all the problems I saw before

I would like to lead off by saying I'm open to changing this in the future. I haven't dropped this series yet, but there are a couple major failings of this work.

The biggest is that there is no tension. It's a purely informative work with no drama that would read like a textbook if this were based on a real series of events. I feel ok about posting this review at this point because it's after the first volume is complete and it was extremely one dimensional.

The other major issue is the main character Ginny. She is a stereotypical Mary Sue, which, while nothing new for most fan fics, is a notable issue. This case is a little worse than usual because she clearly views things from a very narrow perspective and is thus far unchallenged in any assumptions. She gets everything she wants with only token resistance. It doesn't feel like a living world with many characters; it feels like Ginny is the only character in a world of props. This might be my largest issue with the work.

The grammar is pretty good for an unedited work, which definitely is a point in its favor.

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Rezkin_kdt

Status: chapter 25: a rat’s terror

Jul 26, 2023

I have very much enjoyed the story so far, and have decided to review it. So to start off, it has its flaws, but what story doesn't have a couple? Though in case some of these are game changers I will mention them, and if the author would like to have some guidance on weak points in this story. The story does do some more telling than showing especially in the early chaps, it's not that bad, and the author has improved, so looking forward to their continued improvement! Another is, most likely because of fanfics, his representation of Dumbledore isn't the most accurate, but this is a fanfic, so that may not be a flaw, but a hint that he is not exactly the character we know from HP. Even then, it's not the most obvious, and it may even be just because of the mc's perception of him skewing me. Another might not even be a flaw, and I don't think it may be either. Just we haven't gotten to that part fully yet. So with that in mind, the MC does basically ignore and has seemingly no problems with the gender changes. Though the most recent chaps are hinting it will be broached more.

Now for good points!!! The character is not a complete oc and has hints of Ginny in her, which are cool since the MC does have her memories. I love the struggle in trying to figure out the magic in this world and good luck. Since magic isn't always supposed to make sense in stories like these. I like how the MC doesn't just have an owl-like all the others. Also like seriously, why owls? The slowest bird in the animal kingdom, nocturnal, is not especially easy to train. Anyways my opinions on owls and why use them when they can teleport aside. I can't wait to see how the MC will face the challenges and the changes in the storyline that will happen. Unfortunately, basically, all of the major scenes in the HP have either been told about how it was resolved. With one or two exceptions, and only till recently has the MC even had any problems, which is fine. Since we kinda know the MC has just been pushing it away. So we will see how the MC develops. Either way thanks for the read, and I hope you also enjoy this story also!

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aidan_lo

Status: chapter 29: the predecessor

Aug 17, 2023

brilliant, just brilliant.

with some slight modifications from canon, the author has done a great job with this fanfiction.

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Flameron

Status: c25

Jul 25, 2023

Story is not bad. Rather it is not thought through and feels episodic. The episodes themselves are well written. But they are heavily focused. You can have a magic oriented episode, then a friendship episode, then a psychological one but nothing in between. Fillers are usually hated but I miss them here.

Because of episodic structure the story goes quickly. 25 chapters and it's already a second year for Ginny. Good presentation of Snape (hated) and Dumbledore (almost not involved) characters. ❤️ To Lupin. Golden trio and Weasley family are blunt except for a few episodes. However those episodes are🍰.

Overall it's an enjoyable read for experienced fans. Just movie/book knowledge is not enough. There is too little reactions from Ginny's surrounding. You may imagine how everyone will react to this and that. But, if what you have imagined is the same as what the author has envisioned or not, you will never know.

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