I won't do it unless necessary.

If I don't really have to do it, I won't bother.

It's better to do nothing, as compared to doing something I hate.

Unless that thing will reliably pay my bills.

I'm still giving my all, so life will eventually be much easier. That I can just do whatever I want.

Not having to worry about compromises.

As I'm being realistic, I won't rush it. Changes will occur gradually and the most important thing is not the end result.

It's the small steps I take, which gradually shifts the tone of my life for the better.

As for how to do it, I have no idea. Life has countless ways of presenting itself before me. No matter which plans I prepare, it's just counting my chickens before they hatch.

When I plan too much, in order to prepare myself for everything life's going to throw at me—I would lose sight of my true goals. No matter how much I plan ahead, it is useless if my true feelings do not comply.

Regardless of what is realistic or not, my honest feelings remained the same. No matter how I tried to rationalize, my desires will always be present.

I really don't want to change my core of being, just to 'better' my life.

I don't have any noble goals in life, either. Just hoping, in every day, and every moment—my desires will find its fulfillment, to the utmost best I can manage.

Do I want control over my life?

Of course.

Although my freedom has nothing to do with exploring what humanity can give me.

It's all about living in accordance with my beliefs, and see it getting perfected through the insights I've learned throughout this life.

As much I want to believe in absolute freedom, it's not really necessary to have.

My way of life is simply about following the rules. It does not have any inkling of freedom.

But those rules, it's all up to me to decide.

If there's any freedom in my life, it's all about deciding which rules to obey.

If I didn't find them, I will just make my own.

The rules that will lead me living the way I wanted the most. A perfect life, tailored for me alone.

I don't believe there are limits to perfection. We can go further and further, without limits to chain us down.

It's a never-ending journey to shape my life, according to my ideals.

I am so looking forward to seeing how it will take form.