gaylolis

This is the unreleased chapter from one of my stories: Not Another IsekaI RPG Story Alternate. I kinda cut the story short so this chapter didn't get a chance to see the light of day.

I'm not sure if this can be enjoyed separately--but yeah, I'm just dropping these here cuz it's contents are pretty lol.

Since there wasn't anything special potentially happening, I fast-forwarded the journey using the [Skip] function.

As we went back to Beginner's City, the entire atmosphere changed completely. Rows of adventurers could be seen wondering everywhere, not just the usual civilians—it's like—this town metamorphosed into a town of adventurers.

Many of them had lot better gears from the usual adventurers present too. Not to mention of their physique and especially their powerful aura.

Ah, I just remembered about the Colosseum event—not the kind of stuff I'd be attending though.

Liese and Fiona went to the guild to report the completion of my [Powerlevel Quest]. I actually should go along with them but due to the nature of my request, it was deemed unnecessary. Didn't care about the details anyway what's most important--I was free to play around.

Since I thought about enjoying life more, I dropped the phone from my old world to a magic tool shop in hopes of getting it remodeled. Sure enough, with the help of several gold coins and the span of a few days, I could get something equivalent to this world's top smartphone. After that, I dropped by at Monkey Island's Cymbals for lunch along with a takeout. It's really a pity the rooms were fully booked—I could try staying at sir Theodore Gustav's home.

Come to think of it, I really had no incentive of watching the Colosseum event. I'd rather spend it lazing around watching anime and playing games.

....as I went to sir Theodore Gustav's place, the entire mansion was also fully booked; I was friggin' homeless. In desperation, I thought about going to the commerce guild at the docks' district to buy a house, but apparently, the only ones available were pretty expensive and I didn't have enough gold coins. To think that, even with all the cheats I received in this world, I still didn't have enough to buy a house.

Running out of ideas, I found that, the Holy Order's HQ could now be accessed! Still, I felt a bit iffy with this—seems like I was set up for a flag and be led around like an RPG protagonist.

In the end, what I did was—buying a house nonetheless. I could barely afford the least expensive one through selling monster materials via the menu. Most of the profits were made from buying the monster materials at a low price and reselling it with the same menu system (the minimal price were one gold while I could get the materials with few silvers).

I could hear the sound of wallets emptying much faster than a crazed whale during YOLO gacha pull. As much as I felt like crying, it was worth having a roof under your name.

The house was near the Adventurer's Guild and Monkey Island's Cymbals Inn. It was a two-story house that didn't look all that conspicuous amidst the nearby residential buildings. It had a tall metallic fence which looked sturdy and the double iron gates made it look especially imposing. The courtyard was quite small and there didn't seem to be any prepared soil to plant something.

It was a fully-furnished (interior) home with appropriate magic tools that gave the impression of a modern abode. It had a wooden flooring which felt pleasant on my bare feet, with linoleum tiles on the bathroom neatly absorbing the excess water.

The first floor had a kitchen with sink, stove, microwave oven and smoke alarm installed, along with an empty fridge providing decent-quality coolant. It also had an enclosed backyard containing laundry machine and place to hang clothes with sufficient sunlight. On the back, there was also a small storeroom, but I couldn't find any stash of porno mags—it was all empty.

There was also a living room with a comfy sofa made out of animal skin, with coffee table up front and a fully operational CRT-TV atop a wooden cabinet with glass casing. I might try buying a gaming console in the magic tool shop next time. The TV room was directly connected to the dining area, in which six sets of chairs were neatly tucked in. One room led to a medium-sized study: contrary to the other furnished rooms, all the books were cleared out; It looked empty and lonesome.

The bedrooms were all on the second floor: two regular ones with a single bed, and a master bedroom with one large double bed. Every room had a built-in bathroom and wardrobe. There's also a bath on the first floor. With the thousand-odd gold coins I paid, it was well worth the price. Even with it being empty for quite some time, there's hardly any dust around. It's either there's an automatic magic tool for cleaning or there's someone from the Docks' District that kept maintaining the house. The former seems more plausible.

Maybe it was due to the safety issue but none of the bedrooms had a balcony. The backyard fence itself had a sharp-end and opaque steel walls. Was the city not safe after all? Well, more security measures were welcome since I couldn't fight on my own.

I locked the front door and took a shower on the master bedroom, changing to my usual pajamas. I already ate at the Inn; I also brought takeouts for dinner so no food problems. Contrary to the fully booked Inn rooms, there weren't many people having their meal at that moment. Probably went somewhere to sightsee around the town.

Oh well, not like it had anything to do with me. Even the Colosseum event was none of my business. I just wanted to enjoy my new home.

I need to earn lots of money to buy the magic tool equivalent of a computer and hopefully, there's also internet connection in this world. Well, that could wait later.

Turning off the cooling magic tool that was akin to an Air Conditioner in my old world, I slept soundly on the afternoon—not!

Shortly after I tried sleeping, there was a loud knock on the front door. I spread the curtains and opened the bedroom window to see a group of familiar ninnies.

Knowing this, I should've locked the front gate instead of just the front door.

"Heeeey Takeshi! You're one of us now—can we stay here?" Fiona shouted out loud without any reserve.

The full roster was there: Horace, Jung, Liese, Fiona and there was also another brown-haired twintail girl in a maid outfit with cat ears and tail—she was reading manga in standing position. As to what kind of book, it looked like the usual cute-girls doing cute-things kind of story. They were holding hands with blushing face, hmm...

...don't tell me she's—well it couldn't be—no way.

"Of course not, go away—I need lots of rest."

"Don't be so stingy, it's not like we're just going to freeload here!" the boob paladin, Fiona, yelled out again.

"Do my opinions matter at all? If you're going to barge in right away, what's the point of asking politely!"

...these guys lockpicked the front door and just stormed in. Honestly, what a shameless bunch. Oh wait, it's Horace who brought on some shady-looking tool and opened it real quick—he seems to be doing this a lot.

Ee? Did I just found myself into a company of miscreants? Nah, that couldn't be. Liese and Fiona aside, they had a pure and innocent looking maid beastkin girl.

I decide to pay it no heed and just slept...before I was slugged off from my own bed.

"Get off, Takeshi. This room belongs to me and Fiona. You can sleep in the other single-bed rooms."

...this was one of the occasions where I thought Liese was really annoying. Why did they especially aim at this room? So she and Fiona could go lovey-dovey and left lots of stains? Though since I still got a tact, I didn't blurt out the question at all.

"What the hell, man. This is my house, for goodness sake! Why couldn't I at least slept in the best room?"

"Actually, the best room was the single-bedroom you're assigned in. Great exposure of sunlight, with the bathroom being in the best condition. Plus, you don't have to share a room with anyone. Horace opts to sleep in the study, turning it to his personal workshop, while Jung and Felix gotta share a room, while it's only a single-bed one and its condition not as good as yours."

Was the arrangement of the room based upon a couple relationship? I felt terribly wronged. It's not like it's my fault I had always been a virgin.

"..."

"Don't look at me like that. We're in a tight financial condition to even afford the rooms at the Inn, but rest assured—we will take good care of this place."

"...well whatever, just try not to make so much noise when I was trying to sleep."

At least they could be my bodyguards and I could have them maintain this place—I'm too lazy to do it myself.

I packed up my luggage and moved to the other single room. Like what Liese said, the condition was bit better than the master bedroom. There was also an air conditioning device which I set to medium power.

Wrapping myself in the blanket, I tried sleeping once more.

"Whirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...."

There were loud screeching sounds of metal drilling.

Oh for goodness sake, why couldn't I sleep in peace?

Just as I was about to go downstairs to complain, someone opened the door.

"Wanna go to a Manga Cafe? If you didn't wanna read, sleeping here's also pleasant."

It was the brown-haired twintail girl with a maid outfit and cat ornaments. Looking at her eyes—huh, was she heterochromia? One was green and one was blue.

This voice seems familiar but I couldn't recall anyone like this among the group.

"Sure...but, who are you? I haven't seen you before—are you with Horace?"

"My name's Felix."

Hearing this, my heart was totally going to stop. Oi, was this supposed to be your standard Isekai party setup? At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if Jung was actually a busty big sister type dressed like a man. If someone told me Horace was actually a woman, I might also believe it!

Back in my past life, there was a guy in the social media who loved women with a thick beard and muscular physique, plus points if she was bald. If that person came to this world, it might

be a match made in heaven!

"What's with that pause? You're Takeshi, right? You seem to be a really weird person."

"If I'm actually a weird person, then nobody could be normal. In the place I previously belong, I was the epitome of normalcy. I was so normal in my workplace, people often mistook me for someone else!"

That was actually a lie. In my workplace, run by my uncle, I stood out as one of the slackers in the company. Those on the verge of being sacked—in which I look forward too. Well, I got transported to this world before I became a NEET, and while being in this world, I hadn't really experienced the jobless lifestyle even for a bit. I either adventured, explored the city, or just doing my own thing. I was never really that idle.

..and with this addition of a quirky party, I might as well call idle lifestyle poppycock.

"A normal person wouldn't call themselves normal, wouldn't they? I had so many things to retort about you, four eyes brother, but I would miss several minutes to read my manga. If you didn't want to come, I'll just leave you here to endure the workshop sounds from hell."

"Was it really that bad?"

"I felt like committing suicide the last time I tried to endure."

The most recent I contemplated ending my life wasn't days due. I just had enough with data entry, I started seeing ropes on my spreadsheet. Behind it I could see my waifu waving her hands, beckoning me to hang myself.

Though well, being in this world didn't feel half bad, at least until now.

"Have you ever tried beating him up to make him more reasonable?"

"That was the main issue. The noise was so hellish, the closer you got to him, the more insane you'd become. Not a single one of us could get through—not even Miss Liese."

Why mentioning Liese out of sudden? Was it because she was the most insane of them all? I could agree with it.

Hmm...I got a good idea in this case. As the whirring noise started again, I accessed the menu. If we're already party members, then I could adjust his equipment.

I went to Horace's panel and unequipped his drill. The noise went poof but it got replaced by cries of agony, that was so pitiful you wouldn't believe it came from the mouth of a grown man.

"...what did you do actually, four eyes brother?"

Felix made a strange expression. I didn't notice that my face unconsciously formed a smug smile, which seems to appear naturally as I tried doing something awesome.

I told him to wait for a bit outside my room before I changed to my outdoor clothes. I put up my most confident smile as we went downstairs.

"Just watch, the big shit was about to go down."

"....what's with that weird choice of words? It's inappropriate to say it outside of the toilet."

This Felix, he seems to take things too literally at times, didn't he? Wait...with such girlish voice and appearance, I felt a kind of disjoint since this wasn't even an anime world.

I couldn't believe this cute bishoujo was actually a guy--I refuse to believe it. Maybe this world was crazy or perhaps I was just too normal.

The moment I got downstairs with Felix, we casually barged into the study. Horace crouched down like he was about to take a dump; he kept weeping like a baby. Seeing his usual cool attitude in contrast with this display, I couldn't help but sigh deeply.

"My Lucille....my precious Lucille...baby girl, where are you..."

The hell's with this guy? I could understand why he named his gun, but to think he'd also name his damn drill and refer to it like its a loli.

Man, my bad habits of talking smack resurfaced again. I really should cut off some slack. I felt like a horrible person for retorting their weirdness. Being a normal person was a curse by itself. How was I supposed to be the voice of reason if I couldn't even fathom their quirks in the first place? Rather, if this was how the world's common sense works, ain't I going to be the one labeled as a lunatic?

"So Felix...would you consider this person's behavior as normal?" instead of mending the painful sounding agonized cries, I opted for a case study.

"Four eyes brother, please stop looking down on others. If you try to pursue this matter, I will have no choice but to beat you up. Imagine how hurtful Sir Horace would be if he knew you're thinking such despicable things."

Oi, oi...on the contrary, I think your words would hurt Horace even more you know.

I couldn't even infer anything from this comment. The opinion seems much too subjective, in addition, he also refuses to make a comment on such matter.

...but I somehow agree, it appears I had done a horrible thing, but why couldn't I feel any remorse from it? I knew it, that's because he interrupted my sleep and wasn't considerate of my condition at all. He even lockpicked my door and barged in with the others, disregarding my own rights. That's why I felt as if he got his just desserts.

"I couldn't help it! I was just a normal person, it was my first time coming in contact with such unique personalities.."

It was quite hard for me to word things in the nicest way possible. Although, I didn't think of what incredibly rude things I might say as a retort if I couldn't control myself.

"I really starting to doubt my ability to retort with you around...though in any case, we can't leave Sir Horace like this."

"What would you suggest we do?"

"Isn't it obvious! You must have done something to his drill—don't pretend to play dumb and return it right away!"

"Oh right."

Such common sense, why did I forget about it? As the sole normal person at this party, I was saddened by my lack of sensibility.

As a show of etiquette, from my inventory, I took out a big piece of tofu I randomly brought at the item shop and gave it to Horace. If you want to cheer someone up for a day, give him a piece of tofu. To cheer him up for a lifetime, teach him how to cultivate tofu.

Both of them stared at me like I was an idiot, not knowing I had just revolutionized everything.

Through the menu, I changed [Raw Tofu] that Horace currently equipped into [Lucille]. Judging how the System recognized a Tofu as a weapon for him, he must be crazy strong. Well, it was known that strong experts were often eccentrics.

My assumption was just spot-on and I originally intended to use the tofu for comedy. If that didn't work, heck, a raw tuna might do. A lot of people could use them as a weapon. If the weak me could even equip them as a weapon, I'd be laughing to death if this strong dwarf couldn't!

About the weapon classification, I realized it, especially when fighting the death eaters. That's also the first time my [Godslayer] ability activated. There I realized, my actual most powerful weapon was a corpse and I wasn't even a necromancer.

Hmm...I was thinking, what if I could change class to Necromancer—but it's intermediate class. I need to raise my INT and change to Black Mage first.

"I've made adjustments to your drill, you can use this tool to work without bothering others."

With a thumbs-up, I tried to pretend I was a salesman from the TV Shopping network. I tried talking in a gentle, clear voice just like Bob R*ss.

"...back then I thought you're pretty unhinged, four eyes brother, but this time, I really should take you to a mental hospital--"

"Pakpakpakpak."

The tofu in Horace's hands started spinning; a faint sound akin to wet noodles slapping could be heard, as flame sparks flew from the contact between the tofu and metal surface.

Yep, this dwarf was definitely a smart one to figure out this tofu had Lucille's property applied to it, thus it could be used as a drill without the annoying noise.

It was the weapon switch exploit I did when I tried browsing equipment for the first time in this world.

"....and it's done. Even though the noise was similar to someone fapping I could live with it—I'm curious about the Manga Cafe though so let's go."

"......."

Felix looked as if he just experienced a painful migraine as he held one side of his face, walking outside the study, where one quietly drilled a metal using tofu. It was a peaceful, quiet, orderly neighborhood without any annoying disturbances.

I quietly followed behind him, unable to contain my smug smile from devising a brilliant solution to this noise problem.

Standing beside the entrance, there was Jung. Upon noticing Felix's demeanor, he gave me a sign language (subtitled).

"(It appears that, among everyone in our party, he consider you the weirdest one and he was afraid of going insane if he kept associating with you.)"

Did he start to consider me as an Eldritch Abomination?

Well, that was pretty strange. Maybe due to the common sense in this world being different than mine? Since I was a person with tact, it's better not to ask pointless things.

As a regular person in a different world, I have to understand how the people of this world think.

With that in mind, I followed both Felix and Jung to the Manga Cafe, where I would conduct brief research about society.