Harry Potter's a student of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, House of Gryffindor.

Overall an excellent student—even excelling in potions despite Professor Snape's ill-will.

During his free time in Hogwarts, he loves to go out of school and frequent Hogsmeade. Different than other families, he's an orphan. He didn't have anyone giving him gifts to buy the new stuff.

He has to earn the money on his own. If it wasn't an emergency, he wouldn't take out the money from Gringgots.

The moment he was thirteen years old—an adult according to Bar Mitzvah—he was able to register at Hogsmeade's Adventurer Guild to earn some cash.

While Hogwarts did not have any restriction on students working outside of school, Potter was particularly on-guard about keeping his activities secret. He doesn't want Snape to find troubles on him and deduct house points from Gryffindor for stupid reasons.

It took him off-guard, however, during the guild registration.

As he didn't want to appear like he's faking it, he quickly wrote a name.

Neville Longbottom.

It was the catchiest name he could think about.

Longbottom.

How long is his bottom?

After a hard day's work, Potter kept on pondering as he sipped on his butterbeer.

'I really want to know how long his bottom is!'

Potter was indeed lucky. Not long after the break, Gryffindor had a quite cozy class where he can ask the person directly.

It was Herbology.

He sat beside Neville Longbottom, who happens to excel at the subject.

"Mr. Longbottom, how long are your bottoms?" whispered Potter.

"Err...uhh...pretty long."

Longbottom was pretty taken aback. He totally thought Potter was going to ask something about the subject, seeing how studious the Gryffindor's golden boy usually was.

Hearing such answer, Potter kept on a serious face during the entire class.

Probably the most serious face he ever put, even the professor was creeped out.

Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger stared at Potter as he had forgotten his medicine.

'It was indeed, pretty long.'

Potter let out a mouthful of air as he finished his calculations. All the Herbology lessons went through his head since he was so obsessed with measuring Longbottom's bottoms.

As the lesson ends, Potter went to borrow the notes from Ron as usual.

Hermione was too stingy for that.

While the said Longbottom stayed behind to help the professor out.

"Harry...what bloody hell are ya doin' this entire lesson?"

"Have you wondered how long are Neville Longbottom's bottoms?"

"Say what?"

Ron leaned his ear towards Harry; a dumbfounded expression strewn across his face.

"How long are Neville Longbottom's bottoms?"

"Oh..."

His expression was as spaced out as Harry was during Herbology class. Seeing as Ron wasn't a studious type, the sight was even more surreal.

From the stairway leading to the Girls' Dormitory of Gryffindor, Hermione facepalmed at those two ninnies.

Speaking of two ninnies, Ron's older brothers, the twins Fred and George appeared out of nowhere.

"Heya Ronnie boy, what's bloody cookin?"

"Crikey mate, howareyadoin?"

While hounding their little brother, sometimes lightly shoving his head and making absurd expressions behind him.

Feeling absolutely annoyed at his brothers' prank, Ron yelled on top of his lungs.

"How darned bloody' o' long'th is Neville Longbottom's bloody ol' bottoms?"

"Capiche?"

"Pur favour..."

After such a juicy question went to the twins, it would only spiral out to chaos.

The entire Gryffindor house began to ponder about the length of Longbottom's bottoms—almost to an obsessive extent.

...and soon the other houses heard of it.

During the joint Potions class between Gryffindor and Slytherin, Professor Snape's expression couldn't be even grimmer.

"Stop spacing out!" he bellowed, "Deduct..."

"Professor, sir."

A Slytherin student raised his hand at such an opportune time.

"Yes, Mr. Malfoy?" his face turned rather amiable towards the Slytherin students.

He would explode in anger, however, if it was a Gryffindor, especially that Potter brat.

Malfoy's next words, however...

"How long are Mr. Longbottom's bottoms?"

It caused even Snape to space out.

...and the entire Potion class ended up discussing the length of Longbottom's bottoms.

While the said guest of honor--Neville Longbottom--acted like he wasn't a part of it.