"And that's why I'd like Father and Mother to take her in."
There. I finished my explanation. At this point, both Father and Mother had called down--both sitting back on their chairs upright. They were exchanging glances with each other. Like a good couple, they could communicate just by that.
"So, let me get this straight, you want us to take in an orphan girl that you barely even know, that has unnatural super strength on top of a really bad temper, who actually has psychically assaulted you just because you surprised her, and could have probably killed you if your sister wasn't there?" Father looked at me with an exasperated look, shaking his head.
I didn't plan to tell him about the incident from before. But for some reason, Marina thought it was a good idea to blurt it out to Father and Mother when I was telling them about Sherry! That tattletale! I gave her the most glariest glare I could muster!
"Your Father is right, Hugo." Mother then spoke up with a concerned look. "We can't just take in a dangerous, wild girl like that. If she doesn't hurt you, then she would definitely be a bad influence to you. And besides, there are many other unfortunate kids like her out there. What makes her so special that she should be the one we take in?"
And there it was again. "Wild and dangerous"--the term used by the adults to describe her. I wanted to disagree yet I knew that she was right. She was indeed wild and she was indeed dangerous. With her temper, one day she could end up killing somebody by accident and I would not be surprised.
And yet, and yet I still wanted to help her.
I remembered the first time I met her. As cheesy as it might sound, I could see the loneliness in her eyes when our sight met. She’s just like the old me, I thought to myself then.
Afterwards, we met a couple more times by accident, while she and I were both running errands in the village. And every single time, she would have the same, lonely look.
And then, I decided. I wanted to know more about her.
And so my visit to her became a routine.
We never really talked much to be honest. I would just greet her with a smile, and then she would just return it with a scowl. And then the conversation more or less ended there. I tried asking her to go play with me, but she always refused, saying that she still had a job to do. But I knew, the more I visited, the more she became happier every time I did.
My old, scaredy self would’ve backed out on this matter a long time ago.
But now--now I refused to give up, just like that.
“She’s not a bad girl, Mother!” I tried to argue with her first. “Sure, she might have a terrible temper, but she never meant ill towards anyone! That accident—it was all my fault! I was the one who surprised her! Of course any girl would be flustered if a boy suddenly held her from behind like that! And she had it worse than any other normal orphan, Mother! With her unnatural strength, the villagers always called her as a demon’s child! She couldn’t make friends with anyone! Anyone except me!”
Father and Mother exchanged looks once again.
"So, are you saying you are willing to take the responsibility?" Father then said, folding his arms while staring straight at me. "You will take care of her at all times, until she grew up and became an adult that could take care of herself. Until then, you would have to be beside her by all times, with no exception. And of course, all her mistakes—if she lost her temper and broke something, or even hurt someone, you would share the blame as well. And If even once, you ever expressed any displeasure, or even boredom, of her presence, then I would kick you both out of this house.”
“Father! That’s too much!” Marina immediately jumped out of her seat.
“Silence!” Father’s booming shout was enough to immediately frighten her. “Adopting a kid is a huge task and responsibility! And if your little brother isn’t willing to put his own well-being in the line, then I would never grant his request!”
Silence fell. No one spoke. Defeated, Marina sat back down.
All eyes were on me now.
...
“I’ll do it! I’ll accept your conditions, Father!”
I looked at him straight in the eye with a determined look—both palms tightened into fists.
I had resolved to save Sherry, and I would not back out of my promise, even if that promise was only to myself.
And then, suddenly, the mood changed.
“Aha… ahahahahahaha! Ahahahahahahahahaha!”
Eh?
All of a sudden, Father laughed. And Mother soon followed, though hers was more of a serious case of giggling fit.
"Oh, Hugo, I am so proud of you!” With a big grin on his face, Father lifted me straight off my seat to the air. What in the—what’s going on here?!
“We’re just testing you, you know!” Mother then said between her giggling. "To see just how much you really want your little friend here! Oh, sorry about calling her 'wild and dangerous' by the way. I didn't really mean that. I'm sure that she's a good kid, just like you said."
Whaaat? H-had I just been tricked, befuddled, and quite possibly bamboozled?
"To think that my son at such a young age could already be this gallant! Here! Let me give you a big hug!"
F-Father, you're smothering me! Aaarghh! At least let Mother do it so I could get buried in her big boobs instead! Thank God he soon put me down afterwards.
"Alright, Hugo." He patted me in the shoulder. "Tomorrow, we'll go fetch your girlfriend the first thing in the morning, alright?"
"S-she's not my girlfriend, Dad! How many times I–"
"Oh, I don't know about that~ If any boy goes that far for me, I would swoon all over him for sure~"
Goddamnit, Mom! Don't make me even redder than I already am! And wipe that smirk off your face!
“Teehee, I see my little brother is all grown up now!” Now even Big Sis couldn’t help herself from giggling!
And so ended our dinner, with me feeling relieved that Father and Mother were willing to adopt Sherry after all. And annoyed as well. That teasing was too much!
But I was also surprised—surprised by the resolve I just showed. Instead of being all scared and second-guessing myself, I answered Father's challenge readily, even though if I were to fail, the consequences would be severe.
Have I really changed that much?
My old self—he would have never been able to do such a thing.
I smiled. I couldn't help but be proud of myself.
----
Renee
Oh, I am so proud of my son.
To think that he could already be so brave, dashing, and gallant in such a young age—oh, I'm so happy that I've raised him right! And he's so kind too, willing to go that far to defend a girl he doesn't even know much of.
Hehe, I wonder if he really does have a crush on her. Well, if he does, I have to make sure that she is a suitable girl for him. I can't have him marrying a girl that would just take advantage of his caring nature after all. No can do.
And of course, I would have to start teaching him how to treat a girl right. Yes. That is really important indeed. So that he wouldn't end up like him when he's older.
By him, I was of course referring to my dear husband Alan, who was now watching me change into my nightgown with that all too familiar perverted look on his face.
Hmph, really, we'd been together for how many years now and he still never got bored at looking at my near naked body as if he was still a teenager. That's why I had to keep wearing skimpy panties and bras every time. I'm already a mother, you know. Mothers shouldn't be wearing sexy undergarments like these.
"A lacy black pair today, huh? Really shows off your butt nicely, my dear." And he said that with a grin and a cheeky thumbs up too! He's always like this! No shame at all once we were inside our room away from the kids! "But I think white indeed suits you the best, dearie. You always wear white in our adventuring days, remember?"
"Of course I remember." I huffed. "You kept peeking at my panties after all." I used to wear a short skirt back in those days under my long robe. It wasn't even that short yet somehow he just kept finding angles and situations to peek at what's inside.
"You know,” At this point, I already finished wearing my nightgown, “That's exactly why I have to start teaching Hugo on how to treat a girl right. So that he wouldn’t be like you when he’s older."
“Hey, I thought Marina was on that job,” Alan protested. “And besides, that kind of stuff should be done by me, you know, his dad! This is the kind of thing that should be talked over by a man to another man! Well, he’s still a boy now but you get the point!”
“Hmph, you’re just going to teach him to woo girls instead! And Hugo doesn’t need that anyways. If he kept that level of devotion he showed us tonight to any girl he liked, there would be no doubt whatsoever in my mind that she would fall for him.” I couldn’t help but puff my chest and smile as I said so. Oh, how proud I was of my little boy.
“Hah, true enough.” My husband chuckled. “Alright, I think that’s enough of the kid for now.”
And then, he suddenly stood up and pushed me to the bed.
The rest, well, you could probably imagine on your own.
----
Sherry
“Wake up you lazy little brat!”
When I returned to the world of the living, it was because of Mrs. Tennyson shaking me so hard that I couldn’t help but open my eyes.
No, that wasn’t the truth. I was already awake when she started calling my name from downstairs.
I simply wasn’t in the mood to wake up early.
After receiving another scolding from her, and the punishment from not having any breakfast, I went downstairs and outside to wash my face. Drawing water from the well beside the house, I threw my entire head inside. I stayed like that for a few seconds, taking in on the nice feeling of cold water on my face.
My stomach rumbled. I really was hungry.
Well, what else was new? So many times I’ve gone hungry when I was still living in the orphanage. The food given to us there depended on the generosity of the people visiting the church beside it. If they gave a lot of donations, then we could eat until our bellies were full. But if not, well, we just had to learn patience, just like the Saint taught us to.
Ah, I hadn’t talked about Her yet, have I? The Saint, or Grand Saint Milicis—if we’re going by her full name—was one of the companions of the legendary Hero a thousand years ago. After defeating the Demon God that was enslaving the world then, she became the founder of the Milicis religion, spreading her teachings as the sole way of salvation for humanity. We were taught that she was the one who chose and gave the Hero his power, as a proxy of Heaven. After her death, her closest disciples became Saints of their own right. And even know, there's a Saint living in their Grand Cathedral. I believed her name was Catherine.
I was never taught in detail by the nuns about how someone could become a Saint, but I knew you needed to be capable of casting a Saint-rank Holy magic to be one. I mean, it's in the name after all. Saint-rank magic was considered the highest rank by the way. When I asked what kind of magic would that be, the nun teaching us just smiled and told us that it had to be something truly miraculous and wonderful. I myself believed it's things like reviving the dead. Now that would be a true miracle.
Personally, I was never a big believer of the Saint. Her teachings—I really couldn’t follow them properly. She told us to be patient, yet my temper remained tempestuous. She told us to be grateful, yet all I received were injustices, one after the other. The moniker of “demon”, that came from Her faith as well. After all, we were always taught that demons were these nastily strong creatures that were the eternal enemy of mankind. They even named an entire continent after them, as apparently only hordes and hordes of demons lived there. The nuns always tried to scare naughty kids—that included me—into obeying by saying stuff like “If you keep being naughty, a demon is going to come to you in the night and carry you to the Demon Continent~”. I myself was never scared by those kinds of stories. After all, if a demon popped out, I was pretty confident I could take it on with my unnatural strength.
Ha, they might be right to call me “demon child” after all.
Those were the reasons why I could never become her nun, or even her priestess, like my friend Nicole did. Nicole was always good-mannered and kind, no matter what occurred to her. No wonder the nuns liked her so much that she was sent to a Milicis religious school.
Me? Ha! I could never imagine myself becoming one! Not that they would ever send me there, with how much trouble I’d caused to them. Out of all the orphan kids, only Nicole was selected. Apparently it was the only scholarship slot that they could get. Normally, you would have to pay a decent sum of money to be accepted there. It wasn’t just a school to become nuns or priestesses—apparently it was also used as a school to train young, rich ladies to become proper ones like the Saint.
Personally, I couldn’t really see the logic behind that. I never had the impression that the Saint was a particularly “lady-like” person. After all, she fought against the Demon God. And that kind of thing reminded me of what adventurers did—defeating powerful monsters and all that. And like the nuns always taught me, adventurers were a boorish, unrefined, and wild lot.
After washing my face, I immediately started my work. Splitting up firewood would be my first task of the day.
As I brought down the big axe to the logs however, my mind couldn’t help but wander back to Nicole. I wondered what she could be doing. No doubt she’s a top student in her class. She was always a studious one after all, devouring religious books and texts like they were nothing.
If only the nuns had been willing to tell me the address of the school, I could’ve sent letters to her. Theoretically. Mrs. Farla certainly wouldn’t give the coins I would need. But they had deemed me to be a “bad influence” to her, which was why they forbid her to have any further communications with me. I already had to press them to know that she was sent to that school in the first place.
Drip drip
Oh…
My eyes are watering again.
This always happens every time I reminisce about her.
I wasn't truly alone after all.
I think… I think she might just be my very first and only friend.
"Hey, Sherry!"
I jumped.
I turned around and saw him—that nosy kid that wouldn't just leave me alone.
"H-Hugo?"
"Like I promised, we're here to pick you up!" As usual, his happy-go-lucky grin both annoyed and relieved me at the same time.
"Hey, have you been crying?"
"W-what? N-no, not at all!" I quickly wiped off my eyes with my sleeves. Dumb Hugo! Why must you come now?
He didn't come alone too! His whole family was there with him! Now they all knew that I had been crying!
Stupid, stupid Hugo! Why must you point it out?
“Why don’t you come with us, dear?” The young woman spoke. She must be his mother, making that muscled guy beside her his father. “We’re going to speak with Mrs. Tennyson right now.”
My heart skipped a beat.
Could it be? Could it be that she was really going to take me in?
I looked at her. Her smile… it was far different from the sarcastic, mocking smile that Mrs. Farla always had. It was genuine, a-and… and warm… And she's beautiful as well, with a motherly figure that made me want to hug her.
Am I—Am I really going to have her as my mother?
I could only follow her in a daze.
----
“So, you wanted her so badly that you and your husband would come here personally to request it of me? Hmph, I know you Greenwoods are audacious but this is too much!"
As expected, the old witch wouldn't give Sherry that easily. With an all-too-smug smirk, she continued.
"She's mine. I took her in as my granddaughter. If you think I'm just going to give her like that, you got another thing coming."
Of course. She's going to play hard, just so she could feel superior to Father and Mother.
I gave a glance at Sherry. She was glaring intensely at the old woman. Of course she's going to be mad if she called her her granddaughter out of the blue! She never did that before when she worked her to the bone! She knew very well that it was just one big, fat, and terrible lie!
“I see. Your granddaughter, hmm? Then may I ask why you are working her to the bone from day to night?” Scary! Mother was absolutely pissed! She was smiling but her smile didn’t reach her eyes! Not in the slightest!
“It is good for her,” the old hag quickly retorted. “The Saint teaches us to be resourceful. An idle hand is the devil’s hands. Rather than wasting time frolicking with those lazy peasant kids, I would rather her grow up to be a diligent girl.” She smirked terribly once again. “And I see you haven’t really done that to your own children, have you? That boy of yours—he would always try to lead my Sherry astray with his idleness, to abandon her work and play with him instead.”
This old hag! How could Sherry tolerate her for so long? She must have the patience of the Saint herself!
My mother, however, didn’t seem to be perturbed by her accusation. “Oh? But the Saint surely does not approve of hitting a child so hard that it left marks on her body.” W-wait, what was that? Was that a bluff? Did she just predict that the old hag would be the type to hit children that she disliked in the guise of “disciplining” her?
I didn’t know at the time but Mother had been using one of the abilities she had as a healer. She could tell where the wounds and illnesses were in a person’s body, without even having them show it to her like you would show your wounds to a doctor. It was an advanced-level healing magic spell. And yet, she could cast it without reciting it, and without me even noticing!
When I learned this, I couldn’t help but say, “Wow, Mother is amazing!”
“Sherry, unbutton your dress. You still have those marks left on your back, correct?” she asked kindly to the girl, her smile suddenly turned genuine. She could only nod, as she too was taken aback by what Mother just did.
She gave a glare towards me, pretty much saying, “Don’t you dare look or else I’m going to punch you in the face!” And so I looked away. Well, it’s not like I would be turned on by seeing whipping scars on a child’s back.
And so she did. And the scars were indeed there, still red from a whipping she experienced four days ago when she tripped and threw a bowl of boiling soup right onto the old woman’s lap.
And speaking of the old woman, she was completely speechless by now.
“W-w-what sorcery is this?!” She yelled. “A-and you can’t criticize me for it! Children need to be discplined! Spare the rod, spoil the child!”
“Enough. You are being unsightly, Mrs. Tennyson.” Mother’s voice had turned blood-chillingly cold. Even from here, I suddenly felt chills all over my body. “Take this gold and forget you have ever mistreated a child of the Saint like this.”
Without a word, she threw over a small pouch of coins, landing right on the ground in front of the old hag.
“10 gold. That should be enough. Good day.”
And with that, she grabbed Sherry’s hand back and took her away.
“She’s not one of us, you know!” The old woman shouted as we left. “She’s a demon, through and through! She’s no child of the Saint!”
None of us heeded her words.
Its to early in the story to really get a good idea of it but so far I am liking it. I like how the mc is going for more of the agile magic swordsman type. I was always a fan of the hexblade type combat in DnD. You know an agile swordsman who uses curses, damage over time moves, and familiar summoning.
Would suggest you pointing the mc in a certain magic direction. He doesn't have to only focus on one but I would make it a two or three. His sister can use everything but summoning, and I think it would be a little much if he could do every type of magic and be a decent swordsman. Perhaps pick a destruction type magic(fire, ice, lightening, dark, curses, death[if legal], etc), summoning, and then a extra support type(healing, illusion, shadow, etc). I think healing should be avoid if they are going to get Sherry's childhood friend who become a priest into the group as well.
On a side note I would say thumbs up on the current harem. I like both Mariana and Sherry. Was never really a fan of the monk fighting style so hopefully the father trains Sherry to be a frontline sword user/defender.
Anyway best of luck,
-Buu
Thanks for the comment!
Hugo is definitely going the agile magic swordsman route. Still haven't decided how and when he's going to receive more training in the matter from a different teacher, or not at all.
Marina will be able to use every magic out there, and there would be a plot-related reason for that.
About Nicole, I still haven't decided what to do with her yet. We'll see later on. Hell, to be honest, I haven't even decided on the other members of Hugo's harem. I do have a bunch of character concepts in mind, but I have yet to really settle on one.
Thank you for liking the two girls! I'm glad I managed to convey their charms to you! And yeah, Sherry is definitely going to get some sword training from Alan!
Thank you!
@ForestDweller Long Comment
I would think to save his agile sword training until he goes to his first major adventuring city. So after his sister finishes school, if they wait til then, and the three of them leave to whatever adventurer hotspot they go to and get some training on the side. With the basics his father has given him he really just needs to have an agile swordsman show him the difference in style really. Heck, if you go for an older woman route, a "milf," you could always have her be an agile swordswoman as well and train him.
I would say destruction magic that goes well with fast sword fighting would be the best. So I would think either curses, fire, lightening, or wind. These types of magic go best with fast movements. I left out earth and water/ice since one is more defensive/stay in place while the other doesn't really transitions well into sword fighting.
I just mentioned summoning since its something his sister isn't good at. Learning it would fit his personality of trying to impress his sister. That could go to familiar summoning(a few strong summons who remain the same), conjuration(summoning random creates/monsters), or necromancy if legal. For necromancy if it is allowed it would probably be the form where you can summon actual skeletons from somewhere else. That style is seen in a better light then when the necromancer has to "find" his own bodies.
On the priest note I was only guessing you were going to add Nicole since a healer would balance out his party and you mentioned Sherry sending her letters in the chapter. He has the mage(attack), he is the agile attacker, and Sherry seems to be the future tank. A priest and a thief/rogue is needed to balance the party completely. That is if you are going with the five-man group. Could be more, could be less.
Now so far I have mentioned three different future harem members being the teacher/sensi, Nicole, and a thief. No matter if you add only a one or two of them or possibly more I would suggest doing two things. One is to limit the size of the harem. Don't make it so large that either it is impossible to give them each "screen time" or the mc can't move around. If you give him teleport magic or the ability to make a base to fast travel too then you could leave some of them home(merhcant/alchemist/housewife and daughter[wink wink]) to do a little noble house/clan building.
Second piece of advise for the harem is make it so they actually have a reason for them joining. So far Sherry and Marina both have reasons to want to be with him even with other women. One is a bro-con who sees him as the only really good male while the other was dragged out of the gutter by him. Any future harem members need a reason as to why they are willing to share to be with him. He needs to do something that makes them want to be with him. How to do that is up to you. Perhaps he warms the heart of a cold-blooded woman swordswoman and makes her realize that she can be happy again. Perhaps he buys an alchemist who fell into debt and then instead of leaving her daughter in the slavers possession he buys her as well to keep them together. Makes them feel like they aren't slaves but apart of his growing family. The need a reason to belong and screen time to show the character development.
Best of luck,
-buu
@ForestDweller Just a tip, I would not include Nicole's friend. It feels too much like a foreshadowing of adding her into a team, too cliche, you should mix it up a bit.
Hugo, you know sword doesn't necessarily have to be the only way if he had someone for the front (Nicole) Axe, spear, staff, mace, he could be the one to adopt different styles.
@pavook Nicole's friend? You mean Sherry's friend, Nicole? Yeah, I don't have a plan to add her as part of the permanent harem right now. But having an encounter with the group? Maybe partying with them for a while? That could be a possibility.
I actually have an idea for that various weapons thing. Telling it now would be spoilers though.
@KidBuu699 I agree with your points, but MC could go with the rogue route himself. agility, some sword fighting, unique perspective in magic, he could hide, backstabs and steal, looking for traps, not going for agile swordsman himself.
Summoning, I would go for some spirit type half ghostly beings, like summoning a wolf and hawk for reconnaissance, not really super useful for combat.
I'm against picking up this particular priest out of principle. Why they must be connected with Sherry? Having some females of MC age that are not pinning out into harem could only be good for the story. Same as having a male friend. It's bad when MC and his harem live in the bubble and everyone else is a bad guy.
I always start to have problems with harem when the number of girls goes beyond 5, it feels like collecting and they are not given enough screen time for us to care.
@ForestDweller Yup. I edited my sentence quite badly (deleted wrong words), fortunately, you get it. :D
As I say, it's not good when every available female pin for MC, they should have good reasons. Also when every other guy is a scumbag. That also doesn't help, because then the girls had to go with MC because there is no one else they could and it's sad when this is the only thing that ties them.
@KidBuu699 Hmm, an older woman swordswoman, huh? That's certainly one possibility for a character.
I think he'll use all the elemental spells. Perhaps enchant his sword with them as well.
Oh, she’ll be good at it. It’s only that you need to form a pact with a spirit first before you can cast any summoning spell, something that's not available to her at home.
Sherry couldn't send Nicole letters because she doesn't even know where her school is located, not to mention not having the money needed. And I wouldn't necessarily make a fully balanced party by the way. We'll see later on.
Oh, definitely. This might be a harem story but I'm planning to take the upcoming poly relationship more seriously. My current target for Hugo's wives would be just three girls. And I would have to design an acceptable reason why Sherry, as his first wife, would allow him to marry another girl. And how said girl is willing to be Hugo's second wife as well. The same applies with the third girl. Hopefully, when it gets to that point, I could give a decently realistic reasoning, at least for an isekai harem story.
That doesn't mean he wouldn't have admirers outside of his wives though.
A base/kingdom building kind of thing, huh? Hmm, we'll see later for that.
Those ideas for the harem are pretty good, but I actually would want a pretty detailed and elaborate backstory for all three. Sherry’s past and backstory aren’t over yet for example. Sure, they can start from common archetypes like the lonely princess or the rescued slave, but they have to be much more than that. I wouldn’t feel right just having them follow Hugo around without a “quest” of their own, either before or after they join the harem.
@pavook There would be other good guys, yes, though there would obviously be scumbags as well. In fact, I already have a rough idea in mind for a little subplot involving one guy that would get help from Hugo.
@pavook I don't really see the mc as a rouge type and personally I don't think he should be. He has a large knowledge of spells and the sword training he is getting from his father does not suit the rogue style. However, the main reason why I don't think he should be a rogue comes from his own reasoning. Why did he want to train in the sword? Why did he say to his father he'd take care of his sister? He wants to protect her. To be her fighter. Fighting from the shadows and hiding won't be "flashy" enough to show off for his sister.
Plus whenever a rogue mixes with a mage class the magic they focus on is usually to make them more stealthy, not to case harm to his enemy. I think he fits more into the battlemage persona instead of a nightblade or stalker type class.
On a side note earlier I talked about hexblade but my favorite class is actually a death knight/blackguard. Those are both classes that mix necromancy with combat. The only difference between them is how picky the rules are in the world. In some settings a death knight has to wear heavy armor and be more of a tankish class. I'm more of a dodge magic swordsman so if that is the case blackguard is the one to pick.
One handed sword with off hand a wand using summoning, curses, and "death"(health reduction) spells. Summon ghosts to scout, skeletons for cannon fodder and dodge behind, and curses/death magic to take down the enemies health. Sadly though in so many games and fantasy settings my preferred class is illegal.
For the priest I was just guessing with the foreshadowing. I do agree with you that not every female should throw herself at the mc. That just takes away from realism from the story. As you can see from my previous comment one of my main points about the harem is that each female needs a reason to belong. She needs a reason to accept what she is getting into.
@ForestDweller I'm always for mixing up the age range/races of harems. Have some older attractive women. Have some elves. Have some drows(dark elves). Personally not a big fan of dwarves but hey its your poison.
Not a big fan of elemental spells because of the wider range of knowledge required. Sure if he was just going to be an elemental mage then yea sure that would give him plenty of range to learn each of the schools. Then again this is just my own opinion. I would rather focus on two or three aspects and be great at them instead of a jack of all or a king in one. Be a "Queen" in three lol. Like I said that is just my opinion. If you want to make your mc be a jack of all then go right ahead. This is your story.
On to the wives section. I think you should also think that there are differences between a wife and a concubine. Some stories show this well while others just throw them all together.
A wife should be a main focus with a decent amount of character interaction and relationship building. A wife needs a reason to accept a poly relationship.
A concubine though needs less of one and a different reason to be in the relationship. A concubine really just needs to mentioned and given attention some of the time. She is in the relationship for a different reason then the wives(love). A concubine could be there for protection(mc power), status(slave), or perhaps a more business relationship. A example of a business relationship would be a merchant woman joining the mc for benefits to her company/business or for a backer. Not all relationships are built from love.
For the base/kingdom building idea I would suggest you first think of how powerful the mc will become. Does he truly have power and charisma to build a kingdom? If the answer is no then go in a smaller direction. Make it a clan or noble house building. Make it a fortress building idea and turn that fortress into a city-state. Heck combined ideas the concubine idea with this. Have a female noble enter into a relationship with him for power. Perhaps she is running away or a fallen noble and wants to start a city-state. You could always do the standard princess route where the mc becomes a noble then him and the princess fall in love. Main point in this is that the noble lady could build the house/rule while the mc runs around and does stuff. A Prince-consort in a way(just make sure he is the only consort). Prince-consort is when the female Queen is the ruler. Going this route you could always change up the age to. Instead of the princess its a queen running away or losing her kingdom. Could have daughters too. However, if you do decide to do anything like base building I would highly suggest teleportation magic. That way the mc can easily come back and you can have character building without large time-skips in the story.
On a side note personally I am not a fan of priests in groups. If you have noticed by the comment I made above to Pavook and my first comment I like the darker class. Hexblade, necromancer, death knights, and blackguards do not really get along well with priest type characters. However, they do need a healer so unless both the mc and his sister gets really good with healing magic I would suggest one. Besides healing magic the only other reason for a priest is magic against undead and you don't need that if your class can rule them Muhahahahaha.
@KidBuu699 Yep, fair points. Rogue is probably not right. But he could still sense some traps a unlock a door with magic. Anyway, we haven't seen how the actual world around his little bubble works, so I would wait for that later before thinking of what is possible and what is not.
I'm not familiar with hexblade, but I think I played deathknight on an occasion, I think it was in the WoW.
Hmm, it sounds interesting, but I highly doubt any world would look about that class kindly and he would have to go more toward underground society for that, which I have a hard time imagine MC doing.
Yep, she would have to have more reasoning than he is a man my friend chose and he is kind. < That's what I can see often in novels in regards to friends of harem members, it's the dull and weak reason. The actual friend would probably be happy and say good for you. At best if she is forward would ask does he have any male friend you could introduce me to?
@KidBuu699 forestdweller About kingdom building. I recently read a story that was interesting at the start with some mildly not ideal parts (having dryad stuffing a seed into a living guy having a tree growing inside him - her partner). I was fine accepting that blatant weirdness but at some point, his 3 s*x girlfriends weren't enough for him and after stealing some money he went into slave shopping by quantities. His reasoning was to 'save them'.
Yeah right, funneling slave business is the right choice maybe for someone thinking with his groins. Then in the spam of chapter or two, he is happily defending his base these freed slaves build in a month or two with walls and everything out of nothing more than the fact he had money. Getting more monster girls in the meantime. This was a point where I drew the line. Author addition of new girls was poorly planned, Mc getting power-ups out of thin air to his constitution instead of the tree sapping his energy away. And his superb base planning of "subordinate A did this, sub B this that...". It wasn't good to read after this so I dropped the whole book and didn't bother with books 2 and 3 of the story.
Anyway, my point is. The base building should not come out of nowhere, there has to be thought out logistics and it's much harder to keep with the focus on the girls than having a group roaming the monsterland. It also shifts a focus if's it's not early in the story and had been a main feature.
Well about priests. I personally don't like them much, If it's for fighting undead in general, fire mage should be more than adequate. Having them invulnerable against non-priest would end the world pretty fast. For healing I would rather go for the druid, having a connection to nature and regeneration rather than some godly powers. It's not often seen in any story except when MC is one.
@pavook First off an explanation of the hexblade class. You ever play Dungeons & Dragons or any video games based on it? A hexblade is a combination of a warlock(think demonic magic mage) and a fighter. Hexblade are agile swordsmen who place curse on their blades and generally use offensive dark magic. They attack an enemy, place the curse or use attack spell, and then dodge the enemies future attacks. They can usually use the familiar summoning spells of the warlock. Warlock can usually summon two or three familiars. Familiars can range from bats, cats, crows, snakes, spiders, etc. Mid level familars are things like hellhounds, Quasit, sprites, and imps. Finally they can usually do one higher demon like a succubus, hellspawn warrior, and I think there was a psuedo dragon of some kind.
To sum it up Hexblades are magic swordsman who focus agility, attack magic, with a side of summoning. On a side note I usually only play them if I can't be a blackguard because in order to be a warlock in DnD you have to make a pact with a devil for power and I myself would not rely on some higher being for power. If they can give you power they can take it away. Same reason why I wouldn't be a priest or paladin. Never really understood how it was ok to make deals with devils and summon them but necromancy was still seen as evil in the world.
Another class I have gotten into lately is Shadowmancer. Killing enemies/monsters and taking there shadows. Using there shadows to attack enemies. So it would be shadow/dark magic with swordsman. By the way the shadows can either do magic/withering damage or bind enemies. So if you run into a machine construct that is immune to magic damage you better run.
Next point on base building. I really like novels that do it but like you said in your comment so many do it wrong. Base building needs a couple of things to work. It needs someone with the knowledge of how to do, the willpower to achieve it, and the patience for how long it takes. It these reasons why whenever I suggest a base building aspect I always go noble or city-state route. These things can start small and then be built up. A noble can start from a baron in a small area and build themselves up. A city-state can start from one fortress or a magic school in this story and then build up.
Plus with the mc considering his last life I don't really see him as having the will to do it. That is why I suggested he have a noble lady to do it for him. Really he would just be there is solve problems with magic or by the blade when they come up. Have the noble lady, princess, or Queen be the one who handles are the work of actually ruling.
Lastly for necromancy whether it is legal or not. First off legal does not mean it has to be welcomed. Necromancy is almost never a school with a positive image from the public. Heck in some stories mages in general are distrusted because of their power. So if necromancy is legal I would suggest either doing a small class in school or none at all. Make it a school of magic that is not openly teached but isn't hunted down either. A class that the adventurer society accepts but they will give you mistrusting looks when they realize you know it.
@KidBuu699
Hmm, I don’t think Hugo will ever willingly take a concubine. He would feel that it would be terribly unfair to the girl. If he’s going to romance a girl, then he’s going to make her his wife, equal in status to the other wives he might already have. And if he’s not going to romance her, he wouldn’t bed her, even though she might offer herself to him, because that wouldn’t be fair to both her and his wives.
About base building, you’re right. Hugo wouldn’t want to just sit around ruling his territory, unless he really had to. He wants adventure. This is a fantasy world after all. Leaving the daily ruling stuff to one of his wives might work, but I feel it wouldn’t be fair to her. She wouldn’t be able to be with him all the time like his other wives after all.
Anyway, that would only happen far, far later in the story. Since I do plan Hugo to eventually have kids, he has to have his own home eventually. That also wouldn’t happen for a long time.
@pavook
About slavery, yeah, Hugo wouldn’t do that. But he also would know that the way to end slavery is not by just going vigilante and kill every slave trader that he could find. He would know that the ruling class would need to outlaw it first, then the common folk must become as disgusted with slavery as he is.
Honestly, the plot would probably never be about slave emancipation. He would see slaves, express his disgust, maybe rescue one or two, and then that’s it. Maybe far, far later when he has more fame and influence under his belt.
And yeah, actual base building would be a big thing that would shift the focus of the story. And I’m not sure myself if I really want to write complicated kingdom management and politics.
And good news! I might have an idea on the second harem member! She would be the sexy, older-sister type dark mage.
Still needs to really hammer down her backstory first though, and how she would get introduced and eventually fall for Hugo. So it's still pretty tentative. If I can't find a way to make her work, then she'll probably end up being a normal side character instead.
@ForestDweller Really only replying to the dark mage portion of it. With dark mages, wtiches, and necromancers the main thing to focus for character development is why they choose that magic. Those types of magic are shunned, they are hated by society for the most part but they are powerful. So why did she learn the dark arts? Does she have a curse that needs to be cured? Revenge against someone she needs to take?
Figure out the reason why she choose her path and then have the mc help her along the way. Have him see past the darkness within her and see her true self. See the person that she is not the magic she uses. Also second harem member? Currently I am hoping for third. I still support the Marina.
@KidBuu699
Well, Marina is his sister, you know...
And yeah, exactly that! I'm preparing the chronology on why she decides on such a dark and lonely path.
@KidBuu699 I actually have some possible idea for "concubines". Basically girls that would tag along with Hugo but wouldn't actually be his wives. They would like him and certainly wouldn't mind in the slightest if he slept with them but since he already had his wives, they wouldn't force themselves into him.
So far my idea includes a dragonkin girl who would become his maid and a pair of elven sisters that were treated horribly by the humans.
@ForestDweller One thing I would like to say is not every girl needs to be special. Well, the mc should make her feel special but I don't see if in the mc's personality of wanting to catch each kind of girl like pokemon.
Another thing with wives would be responsibility and commitment. Perhaps the girls who choose to be concubines don't know if they will be around for the long run. Maybe they will leave. Maybe they are cursed and will die soon(something for mc to correct). Concubine should be an in-between status you could say. Like this girl is special but not yet willing to spend her life with me. Just because someone is a concubine doesn't mean they can't become a wife in the future.
ps. Hate the double negative rule for sentences.
@KidBuu699
Not every girl needs to be special? I'm not sure what you meant by that. You mean they wouldn't have to be important people in the setting?
Another angle for a concubine might be that they don't feel that they're "worthy" to become MC's wife, though I'm going to use that aspect of character development for one of the MC's harem. Another reason might be that they couldn't go with him in his adventures, unlike his wives.
@ForestDweller The special part kind of went with the pokemon referrence. So far in his harem you have sherry who has super strength and now you are mentioning elf twins and a dragonkin. Kind of looks like you are picking the "special" people out of each race. Like the mc is just walking around saying, "Oh I don't have a foxkin in my harem, I better go get one!"
You could also use that special comment for powers. What are the chances that someone he likes actually has a special power or unique race? If he was just looking for a party or followers sure it could be believable. However, if you mix in feelings what do you think would be the chance of finding an attractive foxkin who is single, strong, has a connection with the mc, and is willing to be in a harem?
Now if the mc was just collecting women like pokemon this wouldn't be that big of a thing. However, he seems to be the person who wants feelings in his relationships. So have a concubine or even a wife that isn't special. That isn't strong. That doesn't mean she doesn't have to have talents just not amazing talents. An ok merchant girl. A decent alchemist. Heck maybe even a maid or housewife.
My above reasoning and your last sentence is why I do think that teleportation magic would be something good. Gives the mc the ability to go back and spend the night at home with all the people in the group instead of continuously sleeping on the move.
Another way would be for there to be a dungeon town with a very, very large monster dungeon. A dungeon so large that for the most part that the mc could stay in the area for extended pieces of time.
@KidBuu699 In my plan, the elves wouldn't be special though. They wouldn't be able to fight. They're basically just civilians.
Still, I haven't decided on the third harem member yet. Maybe she could be relatively ordinary. I dunno. In my mind, I imagined the wives all being strong enough to fight with him, so she couldn't really be ordinary, could she?
And the little sister would have issues about being ordinary, as she wouldn't be good in both swordfighting and magic. She would discover her talent later, though not for quite a long time, I'm afraid.
Easy, long-range teleportation is definitely not a thing in this world. Maybe it could be invented later. Maybe not. We'll see.
That's a good idea! Though we'll have to see first if having a story arc like that is suited for the story.
Also, I'm not planning any foxkins to become a prominent character, at least for now.
@ForestDweller For teleportation I wouldn't say easy more like rare. Most of the times when teleportation is used in the way I am suggesting in a fantasy story it is usually either a mid-high level space mage spell or an artifact.
Perhaps its just an artifact that is a two way thing. Like you have a large mirror at home and then the mc has a similar mirror in his inventory. So then he would have to find a save place to put the mirror and only be able to go to the original in his home. Plus keeping it a secret would be a big deal too. Such an object would be something worth stealing by a lot of people and organizations.
@KidBuu699 An artifact, huh? Hmm, I might have an idea for that...
@KidBuu699 They could be waypoints, gates, like in major cities where you could teleport in and out from to specific locations, probably for a hefty fee, coz you know such devices cost money to make and maintenance would be steep in cost of mana usage.
@pavook There wouldn't be those in this story. Someone would need to invent them first.
@pavook Waypoints are an example but I usually try to avoid suggesting them. They kind of take away the adventure of the travel and the random events that could take place there. Also unless the mc is made of money or has an easy way to get it waypoint travel would be too expensive.
By using the artifact or a spell instead the travel could be from anywhere. Also it sets a limit of exactly what the mc can do depending on the artifact. For example I used a mirror example. In most cases the travel points are only two locations. In order to move that point someone would have to physically move one of the mirrors. This puts a restriction on how much the mc can actually use the artifact to cheat. . . Unless he is using it smartly for trade. Maybe put one point where there is plenty of seafood or a different resource and then the other where that resource would be worth more money.
@KidBuu699 I actually already have an idea for an alchemist character.
For a merchant though, I kinda want to make her a hobbit. Might be fun to have a barefooted loli who might or might not have hairy feet.
Hey, me in the future here.
Still focused on wind but he can also cast a Master-level Lightning spell. And most importantly, an anti-magic spell.
Hopefully you're still reading!
@ForestDweller Trying to think of how to say this politely.
I dropped the story. Now just let me say that the problem wasn't writing and such because I think you were doing a very good job with all that.
Its just that this story is a harem focused one and I did not like the members of the harem. And so if you are reading a story that focus on the mc and his relationship with his harem, and you do care for the harem, it becomes less enjoyable to read.
Don't let any of this get you down though. Continue writing the type of story that you want to make. That is whats otherwise you'll drag yourself down.
Anyway best of luck,
-Buu
@KidBuu699 I guess you don't like Fiora then?
@ForestDweller Didn't like Fiora, Necromancer girl, and what you were debating on doing with Shelly in the notes.
@KidBuu699 Ah, that's a shame. Especially Fiora. A lot of people have expressed their fondness for her.
Felicia would get more development in the next arc.
As for Sherry, you're talking about the thing when she gets angry with Hugo? Yeah, that's most likely still going to happen, I'm afraid. It's necessary for the character development of everyone involved, including Felicia even.
@KidBuu699
Second piece of advise for the harem is make it so they actually have a reason for them joining. So far Sherry and Marina both have reasons to want to be with him even with other women. One is a bro-con who sees him as the only really good male while the other was dragged out of the gutter by him. Any future harem members need a reason as to why they are willing to share to be with him. He needs to do something that makes them want to be with him. How to do that is up to you. Perhaps he warms the heart of a cold-blooded woman swordswoman and makes her realize that she can be happy again. Perhaps he buys an alchemist who fell into debt and then instead of leaving her daughter in the slavers possession he buys her as well to keep them together. Makes them feel like they aren't slaves but apart of his growing family. The need a reason to belong and screen time to show the character development.
Do you like the reason why Fiora and Felicia came to like Hugo?
@pavook
Just a tip, I would not include Nicole's friend. It feels too much like a foreshadowing of adding her into a team, too cliche, you should mix it up a bit.
What do you think about the new additions to the harem? If you're still reading my story, that is.
@pavook
Having some females of MC age that are not pinning out into harem
That's coming up soon.
@pavook Well, I just added a good guy side character in the current arc. And there are more coming up in the future.
@KidBuu699
elf twins
Oh yeah, that ain't happening. I do have an elf character coming up though.