After our little “date”, we made our way back to the inn. Her inn, to be exact—the one she and her party were staying in. It was smaller than the one I was in, so the rooms might be cheaper. Well, I liked my luxury. A lot of cheap inns didn't have fireplaces inside their rooms, which would be problematic in a cold winter like this.
"Thanks, Hugo!" She smiled and grabbed my hands. "That was fun!"
"Glad you liked it!" I replied with my own smile. "Well, I'm going to go back to my inn now!"
"Y-you know." She started stuttering her words. "W-why don't you come to my room for a bit?"
...Oh wow, seriously? She's even bolder than I thought.
"Well, I'm actually about to—"
SPLASH
Cold!
Cold and wet was what I felt on my face, skin, and clothes. It was as if someone just poured a bucket of water onto me.
Wait, that's exactly what just happened, wasn’t it?
I didn’t know it at the time, but if I had looked up earlier, I would’ve seen a bird made out of water flying above me. It had exploded into a burst of water, raining down from above while dropping the letter it had been carrying inside it.
"K-kyaaah! W-what was that?!"
Amelie's scream broke me out of my stupor. I quickly looked above me to search for the culprit, only to find nothing. There wasn't any balcony above us and it certainly wasn't the rain either.
I moved my gaze back down.
Ooh, nice!
The water had soaked Amelie's white shirt, turning it translucent. I could see that she wore a pink bra today.
"Charles, look!"
She pointed towards the ground. Reluctantly, I followed.
Hmm? That's…
There was a roll of parchment that wasn't there before.
I bent over to pick it up. It was tied by a blue ribbon, and the parchment seemed to be completely water-resistant, as it wasn't wet in the slightest.
I undid the ribbon, and then I rolled it open. Amelie scooted over beside me, wanting to read it as well.
Dear Charles Pendleton of the Divine Tempest. Or, should I say, Hugo Greenwood.
You probably have already noticed the familiarity of this handwriting you’re currently reading. Rest assured that you are correct. I am indeed the same person that sent you that letter to your family a year ago.
Here I write to you an invitation. If you truly care about your two adventuring friends, then you will come to the heart of the Merkel Forest. Alone.
I would say that I simply wish to talk, but we both know that’s not going to happen. You shall never surrender to us, not after what we did to your dear sister.
So come. In exchange for your life, you’ll be able to save theirs. Isn’t that quite the noble end, o Heroic Dragonslayer?
P.S. Feel free to come with others if you want. However, I can’t guarantee their safety. I do not like taking lives without reason, so please, don’t give me one.
P.P.S You really shouldn’t have played the hero. You’re just like your big sister, too prideful to hide your own strength.
My body shook.
My legs wobbled, seemingly turning into jelly.
"Charles, w-what—what does it mean?! Are Anne and Anton—"
I barely heard Amelie's panicked voice.
...This is it.
This is the day.
They have come.
And I am not ready for them whatsoever.
Thanks to my search for the Orb, the thought of them had slipped my mind completely.
And now they have taken them hostage, just so they can get to me.
Of course they would do such a thing. I should’ve expected it.
I am such an idiot.
"Amelie," I croaked. My throat had suddenly become hoarse all of a sudden. "Stay here. I'll save them."
"What?! No! I'm coming with you! They've been kidnapped right? Then let me rescue them as well!"
"No, you're not—you're not strong enough.” I shook my head. “You can't face them. Not with your current strength."
“I know I’m not as strong as you! But I can’t just abandon them!”
“No. You’ll just—you’ll just become a liability.”
I didn’t want to say it, but it’s the truth.
Naturally, she didn’t take it well. Her expression rapidly switched from surprise, to that of sadness, before switching again into anger.
“How dare you! I am Amelie of the Faragour noble house! I’ll have you know that I was trained in the art of magic with the best tutors! And they all said I was a genius at it! I might not be as talented as you, but I will never become a burden to you!”
Her eyes were now shimmering with tears. I now knew without a doubt that she really wanted to go with me.
“I'm sorry."
Before she could defend herself, I cast a strong gust upwards below her.
WOOSH
The wind lifted her skirt, revealing the fact that her panties were pink as well. It didn't stop there however, as it began shredding her clothes.
"W-what are you—Kyaahh!"
Yes, it was an undressing spell. It was the best way I could think of to stop her from following me.
…What, you want to know why I have such a perverted spell in my repertoire? Well, I might be able to use it against Sherry, with her permission of course. There's nothing wrong with doing that kind of stuff with your girlfriend, right?
“Stay here, alright? Don’t worry. I promise I’ll bring them back safe and sound.” I gave her the best comforting smile I could muster.
After my mind imprinted the half-naked body of Amelie, I promptly fled, using my Wind Step to move as fast as I could.
All I could do now was pray that they hadn't killed those two. If they died because of me…
A flash of memories resurfaced, of those three adventurers that died under my watch.
I smiled grimly.
I really should stop making friends with strangers.
----------
When I arrived at the forest, I slowed down my movement. It would be foolish to rush when they could very well be laying a trap for me to fall in.
The letter says the heart of the forest. And where is that exactly? Don't tell me they're waiting right at the region where that treant is. No, they should already know about it. If they have researched me that much, then they would know where the treant is as well.
I could use my summons to scout my surroundings, but they can only be out for a few minutes.
In the end, I entered alone, without any backup. I couldn't bring other adventurers into this. They might just kill Anton and Anne before running. Hell, they could've killed them already. I wouldn't know if they were still alive or not! All I could do was trust on the off-chance they decided to be merciful.
I did have one way to guess where they could be though, which was through the monsters living in this forest. They must have exterminated all the monsters in their area, just so they couldn't interrupt their operation. So the less monsters I saw, the closer I should be to them.
Hmm? That's—
My eyes were abruptly drawn to a peculiar object that shouldn't be there. It was your ordinary, run-of-the-mill rabbit, only it was entirely made out of water. The creature gave me a short look, before hopping away deeper through the forest.
That's it! It's their guide for me!
I immediately bolted to chase after it.
They probably used something similar to deliver that letter. Maybe like a bird or something.
All this water manipulation means I'm most likely going to be up against a water mage. That's a good information to have.
As I chased the rabbit, I kept my eyes on my surroundings. It very well could be leading me into a trap.
I continued like this for a bit until I reached a small clearing.
And there, I finally met them face-to-face.
There were two of them. One wore what looked like your traditional witch's outfit. The other wore leather clothes similar to what an adventurer would wear. A sword was attached to his waist.
The swordsman and the mage. And the former is a non-human, most likely a sea folk.
Behind them were Anton and Anne, frozen inside two blocks of ice. Only their heads were outside, just so they could breathe. They seemed to be unconscious. The ice was melting, forming a puddle around them.
"Welcome." The blue-haired witch spoke. "My name is Elunmidis Brine, the daughter of Selendia Brine, one of the Magocracy's Council members."
Her expression was dripping with smugness. It reminded me awfully of the expression Vera once wore.
Wait, Selendia? That's—
A jolt of memory suddenly resurfaced. I met that woman. In the front of that tower when I went to Mira. That scary woman is her mother, huh?
And Elunmidis. I think I've heard that name before as well. Didn't Marina say something about her?
Oh right! She's the unpleasant girl she met! The bubble mage!
Bubbles. Got it. Gotta watch out for them.
"As you should hopefully already know, I came here to dispose of you. However, I do have an offer."
"If you're going to tell me to come with you back to the Magocracy, then that's not going to happen."
"Oh? Straight to the chase, are you? But you see, it's the best option that you have. You can't win against me. Not when I already know all of your new, fancy spells.”
If I have to guess, she must learn it from the adventurers who saw me battling that dragon.
This is exactly why I never use my custom spells unless I absolutely need to. And unfortunately, they’re the only way I could beat a monster of that caliber.
And besides…"
The man beside her immediately moved his blade towards Anne's neck.
"...Fine. I'll hear you out."
"Great!" Her grin grew even bigger. "So, my offer is simple. Be my husband and work under my mother. Work for the sake of the good of the Magocracy. We'll pardon your murder of Vera as an exchange."
"And my sister?"
"Oh, she too can come. Mother doesn't have a male child so you don't have to worry about her being forced into another arranged marriage. In fact, since she's such good friends with that Alincia girl, she can join the old man's household instead."
"But she has to be serving under the Council as well."
"Of course! You and your sister—you both have great talents in the art of magic. It would be a shame if that talent becomes wasted, wouldn't it? Especially if it falls to the hands of enemies, like the Holy Empire for example."
She doesn't know about me and Fiora, does she?
"Let's say I accept. How would you ensure I can't run away?"
"Easy." She giggled. "Anti-magic poison. You'll drink them every day until we get back. You'll just be a normal human that won't be a threat to us whatsoever."
She doesn't know about my sword training either.
"...Fine. I accept. Now let those two go."
"Ha! Do you take me for an idiot? Drink the poison first, then we'll talk."
She signalled to the man behind her. With a frown, he walked forward to my direction, one hand ready on the hilt on his blade.
Of course, I had no intention whatsoever to obey her demand.
"Now!"
Right on cue, the ground where Anne and Anton stood turned into a puddle of mud.
I already foresaw something like this happening, which was why before I entered the clearing, I already summoned both of my fairies. I told them to travel underground and rescue the two of them the moment I gave my signal.
The two ice blocks promptly sank, as the mud had been made as liquid as she could make it. And then, she would harden back the ground, before she carried them away underground as far as she could.
The swordsman, knowing that I had done something they didn't expect, rushed forward with his blade drawn. However, I was more than ready. I blocked his sword with my own.
"Heh, that's a funny sword you got there." I smirked.
I then drew my wand, intending to pierce his abdomen with a quick wind spell, but he already backed off, covering his retreat by an upper kick that I managed to dodge.
Clap Clap Clap
"Clever." The mage girl clapped. "But not clever enough."
The muddy ground exploded, and what looked like an amorphous human-like blob came out of it.
And on its grasps, no, her grasp, was my two fairies.
"You're right as always, Elun!" She declared with a giggle. "These two really tried to do something dirty!"
It was a slime girl.
And she had just spoiled my plan.
I didn't hesitate. I aimed my wand towards the demon and fired a Boom Cannon right at her. I aimed at where her core was—that red gem near her chest. If you destroyed that core, then a slime would dissolve and melt into an ordinary pile of goo. The same concept should apply to a slimekin like her.
Only for her to dodge out of the way entirely by forming a hole in her body, allowing my spell to go past unimpeded. The core moved out of the way as well, temporarily moving to the top of her head.
It pierced through a row of trees behind her. But it didn't matter. That destructive power had failed to affect her in the slightest.
"M-Master, I-I'm sorry…"
“M-Master! Urgh, let me go you big slimy jerk!”
My two summons were completely covered by her tendrils. There didn’t seem to be any way for them to free themselves, other than me just telling them to retreat.
Damn it! Where did that slimegirl come from? I didn’t see her—oh wait, it was the puddle from the ice! They weren’t melting! It’s her pretending to be one!
And how did she know about my plan anyways? Did she just expect something like this to happen?
“Well, now that your trump card is gone, would you be willing to accept my offer?”
The witch now had a victorious grin on her face. I wouldn’t blame her. I would have the same grin if I were in her position.
“Yulon, lift them up,” she ordered.
The slime girl did as she was told, lifting the two blocks back up from the mud.
“Let’s make this easier for you, shall we? You don’t drink the poison, Yulon there would snap their necks in an instant. Oh, and don’t try anything again with your wand. I’ll tell her to kill them as well if you so much raise it in our general direction.”
Tch, of course she’ll do something like this!
What can I do?! I can’t just let them die! Especially not after everything they’ve done for me!
And Amelie—I’ve promised to bring them back safe and sound to her! I’m not going to break that promise again!
I’ll show these bastards that I’m not the same man I was back then!
“Fine. I’ll drink your poison. Just leave them alone, alright?”
“Wonderful!” She clapped her hands together. “Faust, give the vial to him.”
“Oh, but this time, please drop your wand and sword first. Really, you’re a decently good swordsman if you can block his attack like that. That sword wasn’t just for show after all.”
I didn’t use my sword when I fought the dragon, so she doesn’t know.
...Wait, I do have a spell she has yet to know—a spell I developed after I fought off the dragon.
That’s it! That’s the key!
It’s risky, but it’s the only choice I got.
"Well, what are you waiting for? Come now, I don't have all day."
In 3… 2… 1…
My hand flew, aiming back towards the slime girl once more.
"Ahahaha! I see! You don't care about them! Yulon, kill them!"
"Boom Grenade!"
In a flash, my spell flew. It hit the ground underneath the slime girl, before sending a shockwave to its surroundings.
The slime girl couldn't react fast enough. Her body was scattered all over from the explosion, releasing her grip from her hostages. The mage, who was standing there, also was thrown aside from the force, sending her flying a good few meters.
"You!"
"Now! Run!" I yelled just before the unharmed swordsman crashed his blade against mine.
"You imbecile! How dare you spit on Lady Elun's hospitality like that!"
He launched another kick, but this time, instead of dodging, I blocked it with my own leg. Fiora would sometimes do moves like this in our many spars, so I was already used to such an uncommon maneuver.
Trusting my summons to do their work, I focused all my attention to this fish guy. I had to kill him fast before the other two could recover.
I moved my wand to aim for him, but once again, he backed off. He then strafed to the side, aiming to attack from behind instead. His speed was certainly superhuman, comparable to someone who could employ Graceful Step.
I parried his thrust, but he followed by a flurry of kicks. This time, it was me who was forced to back off.
A hybrid fighter huh? He fights like a martial artist and a swordsman.
He's doing a good job preventing me from casting any spell. He knows how strong I am in that department.
Well, let's see how he handles this then!
Using Wind Step, I flew upwards. He followed with a high jump, only to find that I could fly even higher than he could jump. Ha! He doesn't have Feather Step, does he?
Without hesitation, I hit him with a Boom Cannon. He couldn’t dodge in mid-air so he could only try to block it with his sword.
Of course, that didn’t do him any good. He was flown away at Mach speed, going through a series of trees behind him.
When he stopped, he sat slumped with blood all over him.
One down, two to go.
Comments (38)
my english is not very good, so i'm using a translator to help me... you don't need to create another MC, but you should evolve Hugo's mentality and personality a little bit, after everything he's been through, he hasn't changed... got a little depressed and went back to what he was... you could make him a little more mature, after all he was reborn with the memories of an adult. an unreliable adult, but he was still an adult, and after all that he went through as Hugo, something about him should have changed... at first I thought his evolution was very consistent and realistic, because he was growing up in a safe and secure environment concerns, but after seeing his parents die and kill people, that would have changed him... well... I think that's it... thanks for the chapter, I expect an evolution for Hugo, not in magic or powers, but a ripening.
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What do you exactly mean by "a little more mature"? Make him less perverted? I don't think there's anything particular that shows him as not mature lately.
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he being perverted is a characteristic of him, I'm not talking about that. some of his thoughts and actions are kind of silly and childish, it may be just for me or some people that he is like that, but I still like him. right that sometimes I feel like slapping him hahaha.
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some of his thoughts and actions are kind of silly and childish,
Click to expand...Hmm, I'm not sure which thoughts and actions you're talking about here.
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Keep this story going please
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Yeah, I'm keeping it going.
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@ForestDweller I think that It would be a wonderful way of finishing the confrontation if Hugo, after beating the crap out of her and her collaborators, forces Elun to drink all the anti-magic poison she has with her and then abandon them in the middle of the forest under some lines in the way of: "Do you think you´re worthy of being a wife for the Divine Tempest? Ok, I authorized you to chase for my hand if you survived this predicament, little girl!". It would be a glorious way to show the witch some humility, also a good conector to Elun beginning to be obsessed with marrying Hugo, and maybe a good beginning for a good depression subplot yo desired some days ago...
@ForestDweller Prepare for this...
After I read your comment addressing me,I will say that I didn't like how Hugo felt as a character to me and that it broke my immersion overall
I don't like how despite that,his motivations stay the same and not only that but his way of thinking
stays the same after several months traveling with others or alone,what I feel is that the author just
wrote ''I've been an adventurer for a while,now I've gotten used to everything but being alone''
after a timeskip.
The reason for this is that in the several months of lock down, I've reached new conclusions about
people in general and many ideologies,I changed but in the story we're told several months pass and
Hugo remains the same as before.
There's a lot of time which is skipped over and we're told of something that Hugo realizes.
As a reader,if I immerse myself as Hugo,several months should pass for me and I should've
had many revelations on how I live my life and why I do the things that I do or what lead
me to who I am now.The disconnect that happens with this tell,don't show method of writing is that
several months have passed for Hugo Greenwood,the character who's being written,but
only a few real world days have passed for the author who's writing how Hugo feels and thinks.
There's a disconnect between the author and the character in which the author isn't experiencing
or feeling what Hugo would feel in his situation because the author only has so much time
before they decide to post a new chapter to think of the character's goals and motivations.
I can praise you on some parts of Hugo's character tho,I was going to go on a rant asking
why Hugo wouldn't flare up in self hatred to motivate himself to get stronger so noone could
ever hurt him or his beloved ever again but then he's in such a state of utter hopelessness that
I held a metaphorical mirror to myself ,asked why I didn't try to do better in life
using self hatred and realized I couldn't do it.
In other words,Hugo I will admitt,in some parts of his personality,matchs up to reality.
(Alright fine,I'll admitt it,it was a little too close to reality for me and I wanted
Hugo as a character to find motivation where I did not)
But still,much of the issue I take with Hugo is that he's written in part as a cliche;he's still a perverted
otaku who reincarnated in another world with a grasp of physics that allows him to excel over
a vast majority of of the population who views others through lens,assuming who they are
as people. Now clearly,I won't question why he has a grasp of physics,but why is he a pervert
who views other people as ''types''.
Clearly,he's a pervert modeled after Rudeus Greyrat but I have questions about Rudeus that can be applied to
Hugo.
Why is Rudeus a pervert? The reason in MT implied is that he's an otaku.
(so I came back after some research on the subject matter of how otaku are perceived in Japan)
(let's be honest, it was just a google search where I look at opinions and came to my own conclusion)
Rudeus is written in the form of a stereotypical otaku,one who is a pervert overall, I believe this stereotypical
image comes from how otaku call any number of 2D girls ''cute'', creating the assumption that any girl would
be good enough for them and therefore any ''number'' of girls is acceptable.It could also stem from
the consumption of ecchi or harem media in anime/manga.
I think this stereotype is incorrect because if a person was bullied and rejected
by their surroundings,I believe instead ,even as an otaku, they would seek that love from others
or even fictional characters,yet why is he still depicted as a pervert?The reason is the disconnect of what
people perceive as a pervert and what a pervert is.So I ruminated and drew upon my own experiences as a
shut-in anime fan when I was bullied in middle school and high school,it was hard for me to figure out why
shut-ins are portrayed that way. Seeking love when you've been rejected by others is normal,right?It's
abnormal to seek it from fictional characters(a realization that was hard to figure out because of my views)
which makes shut-ins like me abnormal in sexual orientation however
the way Rudeus is portrayed shows how he sniffs panties and would get with any girl in a heart beat
(stereotypical view of perverted otakus which I also had in my head when I asked why
Rudeus was depicted as a pervert).
The reason why I would seek love from a fictional character is because they're a character made
specificially to draw those emotions out of me,it's guaranteed that they would never reject
or betray me. If a shut-in NEET who was specificially bullied and rejected by their surroundings
reincarnated into another world with a second chance,they would choose a single partner
,remain loyal so that they would love and be loved in a relationship.
(note:a good portion of this I wrote before I did the ''research'' and that this is basically an opinion piece justifying
why I feel this way towards Hugo as a character)
What I want to articulate here is that Hugo is based on a character that has been written in a
stereotypical way that doesn't feel quite real to me.
TL;DR: In a way,Hugo doesn't feel real to me,but in others,a bit too close to home
I'm only including my personal views to get across why I feel what I do about your story and because you don't know me,
as I am an Anon
This could be considered an achievement to you,your story made me write this for a few hours where I did some self-reflection and thinking
I blame you for writing a story good enough to make me use a few hours of precious free time on this!
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Wow, first of all, thank you so much for the long post! I really appreciate it!
The reason for this is that in the several months of lock down, I've reached new conclusions about
people in general and many ideologies,I changed but in the story we're told several months pass and
Hugo remains the same as before.
Click to expand...That's you. I don't change during all these crap.
Hugo will only change drastically if there's a drastic event happening to him. Like his parents' death. Him accepting the idea of a harem would happen from such an event as well.
I was going to go on a rant asking
why Hugo wouldn't flare up in self hatred to motivate himself to get stronger so noone could
ever hurt him or his beloved ever again
Click to expand...He kinda already did that. Or rather, Fiora slapped him out of his depression and told him to just do that instead of moping around.
That's why he's still coming up with new spells.
As for why Hugo is a perv, well, he just is. He has a high libido and doing stuff like reading/watching po*n or jacking off was a habit to him in his old life. Not to mention that he never had a girlfriend to satisfy his urge with.
Hugo was only a shut-in for a bit by the way. He's a working adult, albeit a mediocre, unremarkable one.
If a shut-in NEET who was specificially bullied and rejected by their surroundings
reincarnated into another world with a second chance,they would choose a single partner
,remain loyal so that they would love and be loved in a relationship.
Click to expand...That's basically how Hugo is already. That's why he has no delusion on wanting to get a harem.
You have to separate his sexual desire and his desire to be loved and appreciated. Those two are separate. That's also why he wants to be famous, just so he can be appreciated by the world and to leave his mark on the world, so he won't be a useless existence like in his previous life.
There's no focus in MT about Rudy wanting to have a girlfriend/wife badly by the way or to start a family. Though he does love his wives a lot, especially since they helped him recover from the abyss of despair (well, only Roxy and Silphy). I don't even know which element is the focus. I feel It's just a generic "I want to live my second life with no regrets" thing.
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Oh yeah, I forget to say that Rudy also has the Laplace factor that makes him have insane mana capacity. Apparently, thanks to that, he can cast a nuclear explosion spell, but I don't believe it's like an actual nuclear explosion. Do you know how insane the blast of a nuke is? It's much bigger than that recent explosion in Beirut, and that's already an insane skyscraper-high explosion.
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let me you go you big slimy jerk!
It should remove the 'you' after 'me', Chappy thank you
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Thanks!
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You don't need to make a cool protagonist.
Firstly, it is extremely difficult to make them realistic, since you have to maintain a fine line between the "happy bastard" and "One Punch Man." Although both extremes can also be pleasant, but the work itself must correspond to them so that there is no disharmony.
Secondly, your work belongs to the type of realistic fantasy, in which the more human and realistic the main character, the better. It is best to create a main character (and not only him) with his own strengths and weaknesses, and so far you have succeeded.
Thirdly, if you decide to create several works at the same time, it is better to follow the path of strong contrast and create works with contrasting genres and main characters. Or follow the path of strong similarity, or even stereotypedism, where certain patterns can be noticed at the basis of each work.
In fact, it is very difficult to write two works at the same time, it is difficult not to run into a conveyor belt, because of which your thoughts become dull and the work loses its beauty, not to mention that you simultaneously lose your desire to create.
Also try not to overdo it with tragedy. You do not need to do it by force. It is a subtle instrument of the author.
Sorry for the bad English, this is not my main language and I use a translator.
Secondly, your work belongs to the type of realistic fantasy, in which the more human and realistic the main character, the better. It is best to create a main character (and not only him) with his own strengths and weaknesses, and so far you have succeeded.
Thank you! I'm happy to hear that!
Though some seem to disagree like @WanderingSwordNuub
And not all seem to like realistic fantasy in the first place. Says it reminds him too much of real life so the escapism doesn't work.
Also try not to overdo it with tragedy. You do not need to do it by force. It is a subtle instrument of the author.
Do you think I've been overdoing it?
@ForestDweller
No, you haven't overdone the tragedy yet. At least you do not have my habit of writing too much drama and tragedy to later have to dilute it.
And at the expense of tastes, it is so impossible for everyone to like one thing, unless it does not adapt to everyone on its own.
Moreover, in order for escapism to work, one must first plunge into the world itself. And for many people, non-realistic artwork cannot provide this.
So that)
It doesn't matter how you write a work, there will always be dissatisfied, the only question is the ratio, as well as who exactly will be dissatisfied.
And the number of writing styles and attitudes towards readers are also immeasurable. So the main task in writing is not to contradict your own actions, no matter what they are supported.
This is the only advice I can give. Because any direct advice to write in a specific way is likely to hurt more than help.
Although advice should not be confused with my attitude to the work.
@ZeleniyKrokodil
No, you haven't overdone the tragedy yet. At least you do not have my habit of writing too much drama and tragedy to later have to dilute it.
Ah, that's nice to hear.
No need for some edgelord overpowered MC who does whatever he wants whenever. We are perfectly happy watching Hugo's growth as he becomes a hero with a harem (complete with some of his character flaws) compared to when he considered himself a sobbing worthless mess. Just take your time when writing and maybe a month hiatus in order to storyboard and rebuild motivation for the series.
Well I made an account just to vote. Hugo is a nice character. I literally come here after watchin op MCs as I like his growth. Very human. We dont mind waiting.
Also ummm great novel. I love it
Thank you for the kind words!
Noooo don't start something else because if you do, you will eventually drop this.
True enough. I never kept two writing projects running at the same time. I already abandoned my previous story after all.
Just change Hugos character through the story to a more alpha mc who wants to destroy the Magocracy. And Hugo still has to visit lot´s of places in the world maybe the elves or demons have some kind of magic academy in which he could enroll for a school arc.
What I mean is that your story does not need to fit into one category. You could instead make certain story arcs fit inside a gerne. For example a revenge arc in which Hugo goes full rage mode and after that some lighthearted stuff.
I see your story as a recollection of Hugos life and everybody goes through different life phases/categories (or even gernes sometimes) so why should not Hugo go through a phase in which he is a alpha mc in full revenge mode. (and some time afterwords a loving family father)
I agree with him. You should gradually let Hugo grow as a man to be more confident and assertive. I can already see that his outlook on killing people is changing so, I think you should let his personality come out more. Rather than starting all over, you should build on the foundation that you already have. Keep up the good work.
I feel if Hugo's going to go that way, there would have to be an even bigger tragedy that hits him right at the face. If you've read MT, then it's something like the alternate timeline Rudeus seeing his wife being burned alive with his very own eyes. Do you really something like that to happen in the story?
That route would make Hugo a lot stronger than the standard family harem route though (just like Rudeus), since he would be obsessed with strengthening himself instead of enjoying his family life.
As for your academy idea, the only academy I have in mind is the one Erika might be attending in the future. And I don't think there will be a good reason why he will attend as well. Maybe as a teacher?
@ForestDweller You don't need to go through tragedy to grow as a person. I can already see him acting more mature and being more serious. You can lets his character growth be a slow thing over time.
You can also have Hugo participate in a war. One where he has to make the conscious choice between slaughtering thousands of enemy soldiers with his magic or letting thousands of his allies die. I think something like that would be super interesting.
@ForestDweller
I think it is difficult to call the vision of a possible future a tragedy, it is destructive, but it is not a tragedy. It's like you cross the road and a car flies by a couple of centimeters from you. It is definitely a very strange and very strong feeling (2-3 cars flew past me then), but it is definitely not a tragedy. Changing a person's mentality requires feelings, not a specific situation.
Given the active imagination of the protagonist, the very closeness to the tragedy will be enough for this to strongly influence his mentality.
Although I used a not entirely correct example, I hope I was understood. Plus an example from real life, after that incident, I personally became more carefree, including in relation to death. It might have affected someone else differently.
And my understanding of psychology tells me that such a test should cause fear, which in turn causes either cowardice, or anger, or indifference. And anger naturally turns into an incentive to get rid of the source of danger. Cowardice, if handled logically, avoids the repetition of such situations. Well, indifference will just make a person happier.
Sorry for the bad English, this is not my main language and I use a translator.
@carbonkenny I do want him to participate in a war. That's why Fiora is there, since her story will eventually lead to one.
@ZeleniyKrokodil No, I mean the thing actually happening to him, not just a vision.
@ForestDweller Hmm ... I'm afraid I haven't finished reading to this point. I have read only 20 volumes.
@ZeleniyKrokodil In Rudy's case, it is just a vision. It won't happen once he kills the rat that starts it all.
@ForestDweller Ahh .. So you're talking about that rat. Yes, it was a curious moment. But I'm not particularly fond of this use of time travel. The word "if" or the use of "predetermined destiny" often leaves a bad taste for me.
Moreover, given the fact that I believe that the future is based on probability, not a constant. It is a pity that the lack of understanding of the structure of the microworld does not allow me to say with confidence that scientists agree with me.
Anyway, after this moment, a part of the work that was not very pleasant and understandable for me began. Starting from the manipulativeness of the god who called him, and his creation of "choice", to the lack of understanding of what is going on.
@ZeleniyKrokodil You have to admit, that future vision was pretty dope, tragedy-wise. How many harem isekai has the MC being abandoned by his waifu?
It's like a conga line of bad things happening.
@ForestDweller
Then you should familiarize yourself with the work "School Days", I don't remember what exactly it is: an anime, a game or a story, but this is definitely not an ordinary thing. I myself came across this work only indirectly. It is interesting in itself, and because of the stories associated with it.
And about that vision ... I read "Mushoku Tensei" quite a long time ago, maybe 5 years ago, maybe a little more. So I no longer remember the specific content of the vision. I only remember my feelings towards him. But seeing such visions is still refreshing, at least you wake up from many silly illusions.
And also very stimulating, because what can stimulate better than seeing hell with your own eyes (well, maybe feel it?). None of my nightmares that I remember unfortunately ever came to a feeling of hell, and I am overwhelmed with a mixture of regret and joy because of it. Not only am I very curious about this feeling, but it can also be quite useful for living happily.
Although ... there was a couple of times something close, maybe this is it ...
In any case, I am glad that all these visions are just a nightmare, reflecting possibility, but not reality. After all, who would like to live in hell?)
Sorry for suddenly starting to talk about my feelings, it's just that I'm not feeling the best right now. But everything is going for the better.
Good luck, I hope to see the continuation of the story.